


The Wonders I've Seen

by gluupor



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: About major character death: remember this is sci-fi, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - Space, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Torture, Canon-Typical Violence, Everyone but Kevin are Literal Aliens, F/F, F/M, Farscape fusion, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Melodrama, Multi, Science Fiction, Space Opera, Temporary Character Death, happy ending I promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-01-04 07:40:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 28
Words: 158,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18339167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gluupor/pseuds/gluupor
Summary: During a routine experiment, astronaut Kevin Day gets mistakenly shot through a wormhole to the far side of the universe. There he meets up with a living ship full of escaped prisoners and gets knocked out, beat up, locked up, handcuffed, and threatened. And that's just day one.That's right, it's a frelling Farscape AU. (Absolutely no knowledge of Farscape required).





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I've wanted to write for a really long time, but I knew it was going to be very long, so I kept putting it off until I had time to devote to it. I promise it's not going to be abandoned. I'll be updating every Wednesday.
> 
> About the Major Character Death tag. I went back and forth on whether to add this because: Sci-fi! So yes, characters die but I promise a happy ending.
> 
> I've added links to pictures of the different alien species if you're not familiar with the show.

Kevin sat on the hood of his car and watched the sun rise over the ocean, illuminating the shape of the space shuttle on its launch pad. Today was the day. In just a few hours he'd be strapped into his module waiting for liftoff.

He'd been raised listening to the superstitions and idioms of his Irish grandmother and, as the sky turned blood-red behind the rising sun, he couldn't help feeling an overwhelming sense of dread. Red sky at night, sailors' delight; red sky in the morning, sailors take warning.

If his mother knew what he was thinking, she would roll her eyes and tell him not to let his anxieties get the better of him. But this wasn't his run-of-the-mill anxiety. He felt like he was standing on the precipice of something big; that his experiment today was going to change his life forever.

Everything he'd spent his life working for was coming together. He'd always known he wanted to be an astronaut. Unlike other children who wanted to be a spaceman one week and a cowboy the next and a garbage man the week after that, Kevin had been steadfast ever since he was old enough to understand what his mother did for a living.

Following in the footsteps of the great Kayleigh Day had not been easy. As one of the first female astronauts, she cast a large shadow. It had always inspired Kevin to work harder, to be better, so that he could make his mom proud. And today he was getting his chance.

Today he was taking a ship of his own design into orbit to test a theory that he'd come up with. He was going to prove whether or not a manned spacecraft could overcome atmospheric friction in order to exponentially increase its speed using only the natural gravitational pull of the Earth. If his theory proved correct it could have wide-reaching implications for interstellar travel. His name would go down in history as one of the pioneers of long-distance space flight. Centuries from now, school children would be learning his name.

He just had to shake off his sense of impending doom.

He watched the sun for longer than he should have before heading back into the Kennedy Space centre where all the IASA technicians were preparing for his flight.

"Nervous?" said a familiar lilting voice after he'd changed into his orange flight suit and was conferring about conditions with a member of his team.

"Never," he said, turning to greet the newcomer.

"You've never been able to lie to me, _Commander Day_ ," laughed his mother. "You're about ten seconds from ralphing all over that weather report."

"There are some butterflies," Kevin admitted.

"Good. I'd be worried if there weren't."

"It's a routine experiment, not a moon landing," he said. "I've been in orbit before."

His mother gestured for him to follow her and she led him out to the shuttle walkway.

"I always found that nerves before a launch were useful," she said. "Reminded me that I was mortal."

"I have no intention of testing my mortality."

"You'd better not; I don't think I could handle it."

"Did you manage to worm your way into the control room?"

"Of course," said his mother haughtily. "How else could I ensure that the operators were treating my only child as they should?" They'd reached the end of the walkway; she could go no farther. "Oof," she said, pressing a hand to her abdomen. "Think I've got rattlesnakes instead of butterflies. This is so much more nerve wracking then when I was going up myself."

"Only because you're a control freak who's terrible at sitting by the sidelines."

"Maybe," Kayleigh allowed with a smile. "You had to get it from _somewhere_." She shook her head ruefully. "You'd think I'd be better prepared. I always knew this day would come; no matter how firmly I tried to keep your feet on the ground you've always been looking to the stars."

"Of course I was," said Kevin. "Sometimes you were up there looking back."

"I guess it's my turn to look up for you."

"I'll be back before you know it."

"Promise me that when you do, you'll take time to relax. You've been working too hard and forgetting to have a life." She hugged him tightly. "I'm proud of you," she said. "But that's nothing new. I've always been proud of you. Good luck out there."

"Thanks," said Kevin gruffly to disguise the emotions his mother's words invoked. "See you soon."

After that, everything seemed to happen at an accelerated pace. Before he knew it, he was lifting off, grimacing through the G-forces during the launch. He considered himself a scientist, first and foremost, unlike many astronauts that had come to IASA from the air force (like his mother) but flying was something he'd been born to do. He'd been flying planes since before he'd gotten his driver's licence.

Once the rockets had detached he took over control from the remote operators on the ground and manoeuvred his module into position. He started his routine systems check, radioing in to ground control.

"Canaveral, do you copy?"

"Loud and clear, commander. The Farscape I is cleared to begin insertion procedure."

Everything was going smoothly until—

"—scape —old a moment." The radio was almost intelligible due to static.

"I did not copy, Canaveral, did you say hold?" asked Kevin. He was travelling at such high speeds that the ride wasn't smooth and it was starting to get choppier, his module vibrating loudly.

"—ports of an electromagnetic wave. Kevin, do you copy?" the radio crackled to life.

"Yeah, I read you," said Kevin, struggling to maintain control of his ship.

"—bort! Repeat—"

"Canaveral!" Kevin shouted, just as a wave of whitish-blue light hit him and threw him off course. He was weightless, spinning around without any bearing. He wrestled with the controls, trying to get back on course. Through his cockpit window he could see what appeared to be a winding, silvery-blue tunnel.

His module came to a stop abruptly, as if he'd hit something. He shook himself, trying to recover from what had happened.

"Canaveral, I'm okay," he said. He was answered only by silence. "Canaveral?" he repeated, flicking his radio on and off. "Where's…" He peered out the window. As far as he could tell he was surrounded by asteroids. The biggest asteroid in his field of vision shifted out of his way and he could see a space battle going on. "...Earth?" He swallowed heavily.

Small, black fighter planes— or spaceships, he supposed— were surrounding a [much larger bronze spaceship](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/farscape/images/0/04/Moya1.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20140925070137), shooting it with— dear God, were those actual lasers? Had he passed out and started hallucinating? The bronze ship was bigger than any spacecraft Kevin had imagined possible. It was longer than a football field and shaped like a creature that lived in the deep ocean.

He noticed then that his ship was being pulled steadily toward it. Panicking, he tried to reverse course, to no avail. "Canaveral, I'm being pulled in," he reported, despite knowing that no one could hear him any longer. "Engines aren't responding."

He watched helplessly as he got closer and closer to the gigantic ship. Just as he was starting to wonder if he was going to crash into it, a large panel slid open to grant him access. He was pulled farther into the ship, down a long docking hallway. He wondered if the spine-like protrusion on the ceiling and the ribbing on the walls was simply a design choice or if they served some kind of function.

Another oval panel swung open at the far end of the hallway, leading into something that looked like a cargo bay. Kevin's pod started slowly arcing down toward the floor; he had the presence of mind to engage the landing gear. It was the gentlest landing he'd ever experienced, his module rolling to a stop in a large room as the outer door shut behind him.

Looking through the cockpit window, he couldn't see anyone waiting for him. He wasn't sure what to do. For one, he didn't know if he was being captured or rescued. And secondly, he didn't know if he could even breathe whatever air was circulating in the ship.

His choice was taken from him when a [little yellow robot](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/farscape/images/b/b7/DRD_01.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20070223020732) rolled over the nose of his ship. It was flat and oval - like a roomba with pincers and eye-stalks. Kevin stared as it jammed one of its arm-like extensions into an outer port of his module, opening the cockpit.

Luckily Kevin _could_ breathe the air, but he still wasn't sure what to do. The roomba-thing took that decision away from him as it rolled closer, reached out, and shocked him with electricity. He quickly climbed out of his pod to get away from it. When he reached the ground he found several other little yellow robots surrounding him.

One of them immediately scooted forward to shock him again. Another one shocked him when he stepped left to avoid the first robot. Stepping right didn't result in a shock, until he stopped moving and the first robot shocked him again. It took him another couple steps to realize that they were herding him somewhere.

He wasn't able to look around as he moved through the ribbed hallways, keeping his eyes on the robots that were impatiently ushering him along. Every so often his surroundings would shake and he'd be thrown off balance, probably whenever one of the lasers being shot by the black ships outside made contact with the vessel.

He didn't know how long it took the robots herding him to reach their destination (he was focusing on not hyperventilating about being on an actual alien ship with no obvious way home) which was a wide room with a low ceiling. Based on Kevin's extensive viewing of Star Trek he decided this was the bridge. There were several consoles jutting up from the floor and a viewscreen on the far wall which showed the circling fighters.

And there were five actual aliens making noises at each other. Some of the noises sounded like language, while some were more reminiscent of animalistic growling or high-pitched buzzing.

All the aliens were humanoid. [One of them](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/farscape/images/5/52/Jool001.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20150413193507), with bright red, curly hair could almost be mistaken for a human, except her forehead extended too far, like a face-lift gone wrong. There were two others with tentacles that grew out of their faces and into their hair; one of them appeared [male](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/farscape/images/2/23/Dargo_new_look.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20070902000229) and the other [female](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/farscape/images/b/bf/Matala.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20070226031350). There was also a [man with purplish-red skin](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/farscape/images/d/d9/Liko.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20070226182917) and someone of indeterminate gender who was [bald and had blue skin](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/farscape/images/a/ae/Zhaan.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20070115145632) with delicate, silver tattoos.

All of them spun to stare at him when he entered the room. Kevin hoped that body language wasn't universal, because if it was then these people hated him.

"Uh, hi," he said, and waved dorkily. _Great job, Day_ , he thought disdainfully. _Really good first contact, there_.

The red-haired woman started spewing out rapid-fire words in his direction; the tentacled man joined in with growls.

"I don't… uh, I don't understand you," said Kevin.

There were more noises and what Kevin assumed was yelling, before he felt one of the yellow robots jab something sharp into his foot. He felt a tingling sensation all over his body and was overcome with nausea briefly.

"What…?" he started to say, but cut himself off when he noticed that he suddenly understood what the others were saying. He could still tell they were speaking different languages but his mind was automatically translating their words into something he could understand.

"—ell us!" shouted the red-haired woman.

"Tell you what?" gasped Kevin.

"What kind of ship do you have?" demanded the tentacled woman.

"It appeared from nowhere," added the blue-skinned person. "Do you have technology we can use to escape?"

"I don't… I don't know how I got here," said Kevin. "I don't know where I am."

"Useless," spat the red-haired woman.

"Pilot, we need manoeuvrability," snapped the tentacled woman. "We're nothing but a target right now!"

A clamshell-like device on the wall lit up with a holographic image. An [alien that resembled a giant crab](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/farscape/images/d/de/Moya%27s_Pilot.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20070214223423) appeared.

"My name is Wymack," it (he?) said. "And there's nothing I can do; not with the control collar in place. You must detach it. Exy cannot withstand this assault for much longer."

"I don't suppose you know _how_ to detach the control collar?" said the red-skinned man.

"Regrettably, no," said Wymack.

"Just start pulling out synapses," said the tentacled man.

"You could disable her completely," argued the blue-skinned person.

"What other option do we have?" said the red-haired woman, opening the console in front of her and ripping out internal wires. "I have no desire to be recaptured by the Peacekeepers, do you?"

"I'd rather die," said the tentacled woman.

An odd whirring sound preceded a floating disc entering the room. A [small toad-like alien](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/farscape/images/1/19/Rygel9.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20070118130659) (assuming toads had prominent, bushy eyebrows), about the size of a raccoon was riding it. Kevin watched it with wide eyes, wondering when this whole situation would stop getting worse.

"Did you find any others?" asked the blue-skinned person.

"There are no others," replied the toad-like alien. "I checked the rest of the cells and I found a manifest. The six of us were being transferred to Terran Raa."

"That's a lifers colony!" protested the red-skinned man.

"You're prisoners?" Kevin blurted out.

The toad-like alien hovered closer on his disc, peering at him. "Why is there a Sebacean here?"

The tentacled woman turned as if to answer, but was distracted by her console starting to beep. "Wait!" she cried. "One of you did it! The control collar's coming off!"

"Wymack, we have to starburst," said the blue-skinned person.

"Exy's been restrained for so long, I'm not sure she can—"

"It's the only defensive manoeuvre a Leviathan can do!" snapped the red-haired woman.

"We won't get far, but claw onto something everyone," said Wymack. "Prepare for immediate starburst."

Everyone braced themselves while Kevin could only stare in dumbfounded shock. The walls around him started glowing a bright silver-blue, forcing him to close his eyes. Then he felt as if he were being forced through an inner-tube, his stomach dropping into his knees. He focused on not vomiting everywhere. The momentum change pushed him backwards against a wall.

Then, as suddenly as it had started, it was over. The viewscreen showed empty space.

"I _hate_ starburst," muttered the toad-like alien.

"We've escaped," Wymack reported. "One of the attacking Prowlers was caught in our wake and travelled with us."

"Lock its radio, net it, and bring it aboard," said the tentacled woman. "We'll take its pilot hostage. See how a Peacekeeper likes being locked up."

"Can someone _please_ explain what is going on?" whimpered Kevin.

Everyone ignored him, with the exception of the tentacled man. He turned to Kevin and opened his mouth, letting out a long, whip-like tongue, like a frog's. Kevin gasped in horror as the tongue slapped his face but that was the only reaction he was afforded before falling unconscious.

* * *

Kevin came to slowly. _Let it all have been an anxiety dream_ , he thought fervently. He'd open his eyes and he'd be back at Cape Canaveral on the morning of the launch. He could tell by the smell that he wasn't. It was completely unfamiliar, like nothing that he had ever smelled before on Earth. It was so completely alien that it hammered home the fact that he was far, far away from everything he'd ever known.

He opened his eyes and found that he'd been thrown haphazardly on the floor of a cell. It was oval, like all the other rooms he'd seen so far. The bars in the oval door weren't in a regular grid pattern, but instead set in a mosaic, like a butterfly's wings.

On the other side of the bars, the toad-like alien was sitting on his hover disc, poking at a control panel.

"Why am I locked up?" said Kevin. The alien ignored him. "I'm talking to you!"

"I am Seth XVI and I am a Dominar," said the alien. "You do not have the authority to speak in my presence."

"I don't know what that means."

The alien turned to look at him slowly. "I thought the DRD took care of your shocking lack of translator microbes."

"DRD? The little yellow robot that injected me? With _microbes_?"

"Translator microbes," said Seth, turning back to the control panel. "They colonize the base of the brainstem and allow us to understand each other. You should have been injected at birth."

"There's been a mistake; I'm not from here," said Kevin.

"Likely story, Peacekeeper scum."

"Peacekeep— the ones who were attacking the ship? I'm not one of them!"

"You're certainly Sebacean," said Seth.

"I _don't know what that means_ ," said Kevin in exasperation.

"Hmmm," said Seth, looking at him closely again. "I could tell you weren't from one of the Peacekeeper breeding facilities— you're much too tall and dark for that— but I had assumed you were born on one of the Sebacean outer colonies. What's your species, then, if not Sebacean?"

"I'm a human," said Kevin. "I come from a planet called Earth."

"I don't believe you," said Seth dismissively. "You're trying to trick us, but I'm much too cunning for that. I rule over 600 billion subjects."

"I thought you were a prisoner," said Kevin sourly.

"My throne was stolen by my cousin. He made a deal with the Peacekeepers to keep me detained. So I know better than to trust the likes of you, or of _that_." He pointed father into the cell, indicating a black-clad figure that Kevin hadn't yet noticed.

He surmised that this must be the pilot of the Prowler (which he figured was one of the small black ships). The figure jerked suddenly and reached up to its helmet to remove it. When the helmet came off it revealed someone who appeared to be a blond human man.

Kevin approached. "I'm Kevin—" he started, but the man grabbed him and flipped him onto the floor. He pinned Kevin down, kneeling on his chest.

"Why are you out of uniform?" he demanded in a steely voice. "What is your name and rank?"

"I'm not—"

"Name and rank, now."

"He says he's not from here," said Seth, watching the altercation.

"Spare me your lies, Hynerian slug," said the Peacekeeper. He showed no anger; everything about him was completely controlled.

"I'm not," said Kevin, struggling to breathe. "I'm from a planet called Earth. Why don't _you_ identify _yourself_?"

"I am Officer Andrew Minyard, Special Peacekeeper Commando, Icharion Company, Pleisar Regiment," said the Peacekeeper. "And you will stop lying to me."

"He's not lying," said a soft voice from outside the cell. It was the blue-skinned alien. "Exy's scans show that he's not Sebacean; he's not anything recognizable."

"Delvian," said Andrew, climbing off of Kevin and addressing the blue-skinned alien. "Let me out of here."

"You of all people should know that demanding release is futile," they replied, before turning to Kevin. "I am sorry for your treatment; we thought you were an enemy."

"We still don't know that he isn't," muttered Seth.

The blue-skinned alien ignored him. "I am Pa'u Natalie Rebirth. You may call me Rebirth."

"Ugh, a priest," said Andrew.

"Rebirth?" echoed Kevin.

"My name is a noun which may cause confusion with the translator microbes if it's not a common name in your language."

"Yes, it—" Kevin paused, remembering that he spoke French. "Renee?" he suggested. After receiving a nod, he asked, "May I ask your gender?"

"My species is monogendered," said Renee. "We use feminine pronouns."

"I'm Kevin Day," he said.

Her nose wrinkled. "Your name is a noun, too."

"You can call me Kevin," he said.

"Kevin," she repeated slowly, clearly trying out the word.

"Who are the others?" asked Kevin. "The ones I saw before?"

"The Luxan male is called M'Att, the Illanic female is named Danala, and the Interion is Allisonushkola."

"I didn't understand any of that."

"Whatever species he is, he is clearly higher brain function deficient," said Andrew.

"M'Att has tentacles, as does Dan. The woman who had red hair is called Allison."

"And the red-skinned man?"

"Ah," said Renee delicately, glancing at where Andrew was watching their conversation without expression. "He says his name is Nicholas but that he goes by Nicky."

"That is a Sebacean name," said Andrew.

"As, I assume, is yours," hinted Renee.

Andrew didn't answer, but Seth did. "He called himself Officer Andrew Minyard," he supplied.

"Andrew," repeated Renee. "Nicky claims to be Sebacean."

Andrew's eyes were cold. "He's either lying or a half-breed; he deserves contempt either way."

"Shut it with your Sebacean supremacy yotz," said Seth. "Renee, I've unlocked the storage containers with our possessions."

"Excellent," said Renee approvingly. "I'll be happy to change out of this prisoner jumpsuit. But first, I've come to escort our prisoners to eat."

"Alone?" said Andrew derisively.

"You do not intimidate me," said Renee. "I spent two cycles in the chemical mines of Mikar 7."

Andrew looked reluctantly impressed. "You should be dead," he said. It wasn't threatening; he was stating a simple fact.

"I believe it is only through the will of my goddess that I still live," nodded Renee.

"What could a priest have possibly done to be sent to Mikar 7?" asked Andrew.

"I may be a Pa'u now, but I wasn't always," said Renee. "Unlike what the others on board claim, I was imprisoned with good reason. Now, put your hands through the bars so I can cuff you."

Kevin was able to examine and marvel at his surrounding this time while travelling through the ship's corridors. He was intrigued by the faint glow in some of the walls.

"What sort of material is this?" he asked, unable to keep his fascination under wraps. "What sort of ship design?"

"Exy is a Leviathan," said Renee kindly. "A living ship."

"The ship is… alive?" said Kevin. "But there's metal!"

"I don't understand how you escaped the genetic sieving process," said Andrew.

"She's a biomechanoid organism," explained Renee.

"And she doesn't mind us being here?"

"Do you mind the bacteria in your bloodstream? She is barely aware of us. We are only able to communicate with her through her pilot; the two of them share a symbiotic relationship."

"That's…" said Kevin at a loss. "Where in the universe are we? Am I still in the Milky Way galaxy…" he trailed off at Renee's baffled yet patient look. "You have no idea what I'm talking about. Of course we have different names for galaxies. I'll have to get a look at a star chart, try to find something familiar."

"Unfortunately we don't have access to those," said Renee. "This way," she continued, leading him and Andrew into a room that he guessed was something like a galley. The others were all there, in the midst of a conversation.

"You can't possibly be blaming me," said the woman named Allison. Her hair was no longer bright red, it had faded into a yellow-orange colour. "If I hadn't pulled those wires then we'd be back in Peacekeeper custody right now!"

"I know," said Dan placatingly. "We're all grateful that we got away. It doesn't change the fact that Exy is leaking iriscentant fluid and we need to replenish it before we can go anywhere fast."

"Wymack says we're barely able to reach hetch two without serious repairs," added M'Att.

"The Peacekeeper Command Carrier can easily catch us at those speeds," said Allison.

"What about the nearby planet? Could we get the fluid there?" asked Nicky.

Andrew scoffed loudly. He gestured at Nicky with his cuffed hands. " _You're_ the one who claims to be Sebacean?" he said.

"Speak when spoken to, Peacekeeper," snapped Dan. "We brought you here because we're not about to starve our prisoners— we are not monsters like _your kind_ — but we have no desire to hear any unsolicited comments from you."

"You're feeding us because you hope to gain information that will help you survive," said Andrew. "Do not pretend at benevolence."

"Well, you've seen through our cunning plan," said Allison. "So tell me, is there Peacekeeper presence in this system?"

Andrew set his jaw stubbornly and took a seat at the bench. Kevin sat beside him. Renee passed over a plate of greenish cubes and something that resembled a two-tine fork.

"Food cubes," she said. "Not the tastiest, I'm afraid."

"Trying to endear yourself to me will not work, Delvian," said Andrew, spearing a cube and shoving it into his mouth.

"He doesn't know anyway," said Nicky, dismissively. "He's infantry: he goes and dies where command sends him."

"I must say that I like the sight of a Peacekeeper chained," M'Att said.

Andrew didn't break eye contact as he speared another food cube.

"I'm not a Peacekeeper," said Kevin. He wasn't sure whose side he was on. The others seemed to have lumped him in with Andrew, but the Peacekeeper had only showed him disdain. However, his human appearance made Kevin feel more at ease than the clear alienness of the others.

"No one cares," said Allison. She turned away from them. "We need that fluid. Seth, did you find any credits in your search?"

"Maybe I did," said Seth. "I'm not obliged to share them."

"We're _all_ going to get caught if we can't _fix the ship_ , you selfish drelk," said Dan.

"Selfish!" said Seth. "Who was it who bribed the maintenance drones at the last checkpoint? Who was it who secured the cell codes that allowed for our escape? Without me you'd all still be in your cells!"

Kevin caught Andrew taking advantage of the others' lapse in attention to slip his fork up his sleeve. He gave Kevin a bored look and popped another food cube in his mouth. Kevin followed his lead and ate one of the cubes. It tasted like a combination of styrofoam and sawdust, making him choke a little.

A clamshell-like protrusion like the one that had been present on the bridge was in the galley. It lit up with Wymack's hologram. Or maybe Wymack was a hologram? Kevin was unsure about the particulars.

"We are nearing planetary orbit."

"Thank you, Wymack," said Dan. "Alright, Renee, take the prisoners back to their cells."

"You'll notice that we didn't learn anything useful from them," said Allison. "Your plan was a failure."

"That's still no reason to starve them," said Renee.

"It's not like they're innocents; one of them's a Peacekeeper," said M'Att.

"I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt," said Renee.

"Your naivete will get you killed," scoffed Allison.

Renee grabbed Andrew's cuffed hands and pried out the fork he had hidden in his sleeve earlier. "I may want to see the good in people but do not mistake my kindness for foolishness," she said, her eyes hard.

The others all glared at Andrew. He grabbed another food cube and made what was probably a rude gesture before standing. Kevin stood up to follow, making sure the fork he had hidden in his sleeve during the altercation between Renee and Andrew stayed hidden.

Once they were back in their cell, Andrew started immediately trying to escape. Kevin sat back and stared unhappily at the ceiling.

"You could help," said Andrew.

"I'm not supposed to be here," Kevin lamented.

Andrew grunted and sent him a completely uninterested look. "How'd you get here anyway?"

"I'm not completely sure," admitted Kevin. "I was running an experiment and was hit by an electromagnetic wave… I must have somehow opened a wormhole. It's the only plausible explanation." He slumped. "But that means that the only way home is to find or make another wormhole."

"How do you plan on doing that from inside this cell? There are Peacekeeper scientists who could help you."

"Would they?" asked Kevin.

"It's far more likely that they'll help you than these prisoners," said Andrew, practically spitting the last word.

"You're probably right," said Kevin, tossing Andrew the fork he'd hidden earlier. "Break us out."

It took some undignified stretching, but Andrew managed to do something to the control panel with the fork that opened the cell door. Once they escaped, he led Kevin deeper into the ship.

"Where are you going?" asked Kevin. "The docking area was this way." He pointed down a corridor which he was pretty sure led to where he'd left his module.

"I'm going to sabotage the Leviathan," said Andrew succinctly.

"Why?"

"To aid in the recapture of these prisoners, obviously."

"They didn't hurt us," argued Kevin. "You could show them a little compassion." He didn't like the others, per se, but he wasn't about to hand them over to the people who'd imprisoned them when he was completely uninformed about the situation.

Andrew's head twitched. "That didn't translate. I don't know that word."

"What, 'compassion'?" said Kevin incredulously. "It's a feeling. When you see someone else in pain and you don't take advantage of it."

"What soft, weak people you humans must be," mused Andrew.

"I've definitely picked the wrong team," Kevin realized.

"Then stay here," said Andrew. "And die with the others."

"How do I know that I can trust you?"

"I'm not convinced you know anything," said Andrew, but he doubled back and headed down the corridor that Kevin had indicated.

Walking into the cargo hold, Andrew shot a disgusted look at Kevin's module. "What is that piece of garbage?"

"It's cutting edge technology that _I designed_ ," said Kevin, offended.

"We're taking mine," said Andrew. [His ship](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/farscape/images/1/12/Prowler.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20070119214554) was sleek and black and looked dangerous. It was a single-man craft, but there was a passenger seat in the back of the cockpit. Andrew piloted it expertly, like it was second nature to him. It streaked to the surface of the planet more smoothly than Kevin had ever experienced in an aircraft.

"The inertial dampeners on this thing are insane," he muttered.

Andrew ignored him, instead sending messages back to the Peacekeepers with his radio.

"There's a spaceport and commerce hub on the southern continent," he reported. "My superiors will rendezvous with us there. We should keep our eyes open for the prisoners so we can report their movements."

"I'm not going to help you hurt them."

"I cannot possibly imagine a situation in which I would require your help," said Andrew.

"Oh, yeah? How about providing a utensil so you could break out of the jail cell?" countered Kevin.

"I would have eventually succeeded on my own."

"Keep telling yourself that," said Kevin. "As far as I'm concerned you owe me."

"I brought you with me, didn't I?" said Andrew. "We're even." He did not sound completely convinced by what he was saying.

* * *

Kevin thought his brain might actually melt out of his ears. He was _standing on an alien planet_. He was the first human ever to visit a planet that wasn't Earth (he assumed. He was pretty sure that no other astronauts had disappeared into a wormhole like he had). He was both excited and frightened out of his mind.

"They'll be here soon," said Andrew, looking neither impressed nor interested in the _actual literal alien planet_ they were standing on. Although, Kevin supposed, that made sense since Andrew was technically an actual, literal alien.

"Who'll be here soon?" said a voice from nearby. M'Att stepped into view, carrying a large, silver sword. Dan approached from the other side, also holding a weapon.

"We found them," M'Att said, tapping a hexagonal button on his clothing.

"Hurry up," came Allison's voice from the button— obviously some sort of communicator. "Wymack told us that a Command Carrier has entered the system."

Andrew's face slackened in shock as M'Att and Dan both tensed. M'Att held his sword up and pressed something on its hilt: it transformed into a sword-shaped gun.

"Are you kidding?!" shouted Kevin. "Your sword turns into a gun?"

"What good would a sword do in a shootout?" asked M'Att in confusion. He shook his head and focused back on Andrew. "Why is a Command Carrier here? There's no way they would send such firepower after six escaped prisoners."

"Not unless we have something very valuable," said Dan, sliding her eyes toward Kevin.

"If he's valuable then I will give him to my superiors gladly," said Andrew.

"Hey!" cried Kevin.

"No, we're taking him with us," said M'Att. "We need him for insurance."

"Hey!" cried Kevin again. "Stop talking about me as if I'm not here!"

"How can he possibly be _that_ valuable?" wondered Dan. "He's more ignorant than a child."

"It doesn't matter, he's coming with us," said M'Att.

"You are mistaken about that, Luxan," came a new voice. During their argument, they had been surrounded by Peacekeepers. Dan and M'Att were disarmed and restrained.

Andrew stood at attention, his eyes briefly showing something like distaste. "Commander Spear," he said, giving a formal salute.

"Officer Minyard," drawled the Peacekeeper commander, striding closer. His voice was oily. "Captain Moriyama sent me to retrieve the individual of unknown species who was able to successfully harness the power of a wormhole. Imagine my surprise at finding you here with him."

"I didn't do it on purpose," interjected Kevin, too loudly. The way the commander was eyeing Andrew sent prickles along his skin.

"And you are…?" said Commander Spear.

"He says he is a species called human from a planet called Urp," reported Andrew.

" _Earth_ ," corrected Kevin in annoyance.

"Interesting," said Spear. "I look forward to what knowledge we will gain by dissecting him."

"You said they'd help me!" Kevin accused, whirling on Andrew. Andrew only gave him a level look.

"We need to learn the secrets of wormhole technology," said Spear.

"I have spent enough time with him that I do not believe that he is brave enough or smart enough to have actually harnessed the wormhole," said Andrew. "It was likely an accident, as he claims."

Spear straightened and turned to Andrew, his eyes lighting up with something like anticipation. "Officer Minyard, you're of course aware of Peacekeeper High Command's guidelines for contact with an undocumented alien species. If you spend too much time with one, you'll be deemed irreversibly contaminated. The treatment for that is death. Although… if you're _very_ well behaved and beg me, I _may_ leave this out of my official report." He dragged a finger up Andrew's arm. Kevin felt dirty just watching the exchange. "Exactly _how much_ time have you spent with this… human?"

Andrew's eyes flashed. He did not reply and his expression was resigned.

"Not long," said Kevin, trying to keep his revulsion hidden. "Not long at all."

"Well, we'll see, won't we?" said Spear. "You three take these four back to the Marauder," he commanded the surrounding soldiers. "The rest of us will search for the remaining prisoners."

Kevin was unceremoniously cuffed (again. He'd never worn handcuffs outside of sex before and now he'd been restrained twice on the same day) and propelled forward by a Peacekeeper guard. He wondered if Spear was overconfident or incompetent for sending fewer guards than prisoners, especially since two guards were covering M'Att because of his size. He could see that Dan was having similar thoughts. She ducked suddenly, tripping up the guard behind her before whirling around and grabbing his gun. Kevin used the confusion to do the same. He didn't quite know how to work the weapon properly, but little yellow bolts of light shot out of it when he pressed the trigger. M'Att took advantage of the other guards' preoccupation with Kevin and Dan to knock them out with his tongue.

Dan dug around to find the keys to their cuffs while M'Att hit his communicator. "Allison, we're on our way back."

"We're gone," said Allison. "We weren't about to stick around with Peacekeepers in the area."

"You took the transport pod _without us_?" said M'Att.

"Sorry," said Allison, sounding anything but.

"We'll figure something out," sighed M'Att. "You had to have come down in a ship," he said to Kevin.

"Do not touch my Prowler," said Andrew, still restrained. Dan hadn't moved to release him.

"Come with us," entreated Kevin.

"We didn't invite him," muttered M'Att.

"You want me, don't you?" said Kevin. "As insurance? I'll come with you willingly if he comes, too." He wasn't sure why he was so adamant that Andrew join them; he felt as if they'd become allies in the last several hours.

"I am a Peacekeeper, a soldier," said Andrew, shaking his head. "I have been bred for one purpose only."

Kevin thought about the creativity and strength Andrew had showed when captured, about how he had not sabotaged Exy when Kevin had asked, about the way that Spear had looked and spoken to him.

"You can be more," he said with certainty.

"I can't," said Andrew, though his resolve was visibly wavering.

"Come with us and I'll show you," promised Kevin.

Andrew hesitated another couple moments before nodding and raising his hands to be unlocked. "You're going to have to get very familiar with each other if you all want to fit in the Prowler," he said.

* * *

"Why is _that_ back on board?" said Allison, pointing at Andrew as the four of them tripped onto the bridge.

"Hi," said M'Att, sarcastically. "Nice to see you after you abandoned us to the Peacekeepers."

Allison shrugged. "We're not friends. We're barely allies. I'm not getting locked up again because you were slow. Why did you bring the enemy back with you?"

"Long story short: the other Peacekeepers want to kill him and Kevin promised to control him," said Dan, striding to one of the consoles.

"I absolutely did not," said Kevin.

"That's what I heard you say," said Dan. She tsked. "Translator microbes, you know."

"How did you all fit in a single Prowler?" asked Nicky.

"We aren't speaking of it ever again," said M'Att, shuddering.

"Did you replace the fluid?" Dan asked.

"We did," said Renee. "But we have a Command Carrier bearing down on us and Wymack says that Exy won't be able to starburst for almost a quarter arn."

"We can perform evasive manoeuvres and stay out of the reach of their frag cannons until then," said Dan. Kevin wondered if that was true or if Dan assumed that speaking forcefully meant that whatever she said was correct.

"What _is_ the range of their frag cannons?" asked Allison, glaring at Andrew.

Andrew crossed his arms, looking sullen.

"Either you help us or you die with us," said Renee. "You have no other options."

"Their range is forty-five metras," said Andrew stiffly.

"Wymack!" called Dan. "Keep at least forty-five metras between us and that ship."

"I cannot perform evasive manoeuvres while also preparing for starburst," replied Wymack's holographic image.

"Then enable manual flight control and one of us will take care of keeping away from their cannons," suggested Renee.

"Uhh…" said Wymack, clearly reluctant.

"Do it!" cried Dan. "Alright: Renee, Allison, either one of you know how to fly a ship?"

"I'll do it," offered Andrew.

"You expect us to trust you?" sneered Allison.

"I have been training as a pilot for longer than you've been imprisoned," said Andrew. "If there's any chance of escape, it lies with me. As you said: I either help or I die. I've no intention of dying."

"Fine," said Dan, stepping away from the console. "But if you betray us…"

"We all die?" said Andrew dryly. "Find a new threat."

"Where should we starburst?" asked Wymack.

"Uncharted Territories," said M'Att instantly. "Those Peacekeepers were after Kevin specifically and they want to capture the rest of us. We need to get out of Peacekeeper space; there's a chance they won't follow us where they don't have jurisdiction."

"Our homeworlds are in Peacekeeper space," said Seth. "I want to go _home_."

"We all want to go home," said Allison. "We can't if we're dead."

Dan sighed. "Uncharted Territories it is."

* * *

Kevin took his supplies out of his module, gathering what few possessions he still had. He'd claimed quarters (which was a converted jail cell), as had the others, and wanted to make them slightly homier since it seemed he was going to be stuck here for awhile.

With the adrenaline of their successful escape wearing off he was beginning to realize how screwed he was. He didn't even know what part of the universe he was in and he had no idea how to get home. There was a chance that he'd never get home. He was stranded all by himself.

He could feel his breathing start to pick up and tried his usual methods for staving off a panic attack. He felt his chest get tighter and tighter and his vision started to grey out.

There was suddenly a hand on the back of his neck and his head was being pushed between his knees.

"Breathe," came the command in Andrew's bored voice. "In and out."

Kevin let the touch ground him and followed the directions. Maybe he wasn't so alone after all.

He looked up at Andrew to thank him. He reached out, but Andrew caught his wrist and squeezed it tightly enough that his bones seemed to grind together.

"We are not friends," said Andrew, pushing Kevin away from him. "Do not mistake me. You made me a promise: that you will find something for me to live for now that I can't return to the Peacekeepers. If you die you will not be able to fulfill it." He stood and started to stride away. Just before he rounded the corner, he stopped and turned back. "I do not believe you can do what you promised. And when you fail, I'll kill you myself." He cocked his head, examining Kevin. "Don't forget to breathe," he said, and left.

Kevin gasped. He remained seated, simply breathing in and out for several minutes before he felt calm enough to return to his room. There, he spread out his trinkets. There was a small tape recorder that he'd brought as backup so he could record his observations even if his shuttle's recording system stopped functioning. He picked it up and turned it over in his hands a couple times.

"Mom?" he said into it, pressing record. "I know you'll never get this, so I don't know why I'm doing it, but I really needed to talk to you. I'm alive." He drew in a shuddering breath. "I'm lost and I'm not sure I'll ever find my way back, but I'm alive. And there are _aliens_ , Mom! So many different kinds of aliens, so different from us! And they're all assholes. Remember in the second grade, when we had just moved, and I was worried about making friends? And you said, 'Just be yourself and they'll be sure to like you'? And you were lying, because I was myself and those kids stole my lunchbox and pushed me face first into the sand? This is like that, only instead of a faceful of sand I'm pretty sure they all want me dead." He could feel his eyes start to get wet. "I'm sorry I didn't come back like I promised. But I'm going to do my best, okay? I'm going to try my hardest to get home to you. So don't forget me. And… think of me when you look up at the stars." He let his tears fall. "I know I'll be thinking of you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up, kids. This one's going to be a long, bumpy ride.


	2. Chapter 2

Kevin woke every morning hoping that he’d been living a dream (a months-long dream— maybe a coma?) but was inevitably getting used to his new normal. The first few days ( _solars_ , he reminded himself) without an outside antagonist for everyone to focus on had been very difficult aboard Exy. There were numerous arguments about what they should do, more threats against each other’s lives than could easily be counted, and constant jockeying for position and control. Kevin was mostly left outside of these conflicts as everyone insisted on treating him like he was a brain-damaged child simply because he didn’t have the same knowledge base as they did. Not being the smartest person in the room was unnerving and kept Kevin completely off-balance.

It didn’t help that basic time, distance, and weight measurements were completely different. If he ever used an Earth term, he earned looks ranging from disdainful (Andrew or Allison) to pitying (M’Att or Renee). He didn’t have an accurate timepiece with him, so he had to guess how their measurements corresponded to the ones he knew. So far, he’d determined that a microt was just over half a second, an arn was slightly shorter than an hour, a solar was slightly longer than a day, and a cycle was roughly a year. There didn’t seem to be any words that were equivalent to minute or week or month.

The infighting, although still present, had tapered off after a couple solars. Kevin didn’t think that anyone truly trusted the others, although certain alliances had cropped up. Dan and M’Att were natural allies; apparently their species were closely related, having a common ancestor. They were also fairly friendly with both Allison and Renee. Seth mostly kept to himself, not wanting to associate with any of the rest of them.

Kevin stuck close to Andrew. He didn’t actually like him very much but he knew Andrew would keep him alive, at least. He also suspected that his comfort with Andrew was at least partially due to his human appearance. Sometimes the other aliens were just _too_ alien.

Nicky also seemed most at ease with Kevin and Andrew. He claimed that his father was a Peacekeeper and his mother had died before he’d learned anything about her species— not even what it was called. He’d been raised by Sebaceans and was at home around them.

Andrew didn’t become any more sociable than he had been at first. The ex-prisoners on board didn’t particularly trust someone who had loyally served the very organization that had imprisoned them. Most of them purported to be either innocent of their crimes or punished too harshly for minor offenses. Kevin wasn’t sure how many of them were lying or otherwise obscuring the truth. Only Renee admitted her guilt.

The most repetitive argument that occurred was about where they should go and what they should do. Although Kevin assumed that the _actual living ship_ would be in charge of those decisions, Wymack and Exy seemed happy enough to follow the general consensus. Kevin had finally met Wymack face to face: he was huge, at least half again as tall as Kevin and several times wider. His lower half, made up of tentacles, was wired directly into Exy’s systems, allowing them to communicate, but leaving Wymack unable to ever leave his ‘den’, the vast, echoing chamber that ran the entire length of the ship. As big as Exy was, the living areas only occupied a tiny portion, meaning that they were always in each other’s space.

Just after their escape, Andrew had reluctantly performed a survey of the ship, accompanied by one of the others watching him suspiciously, disabling all the Peacekeeper technology that had been added to Exy after she’d been captured and forced to work for them. That had provided a lot of salvage that they were able to trade for credits and food and other necessary supplies.

There were quite a few settlements scattered throughout the Uncharted Territories, many of them willing to trade for ship parts. Allison had impatiently explained to Kevin that the Uncharted Territories were not actually uncharted, it was simply the Peacekeepers’ name for the more-or-less neutral space that separated them from the two other large galactic powers. This meant that the places they travelled were often unlawful or completely mercenary. Kevin had lost track of the number of people who had tried to kill them.

Unfortunately, despite the fact that the Uncharted Territories were mapped, there weren’t any accurate star charts aboard Exy. In the end, all their interminable bickering had finally left them with two major objectives: 1) collect and sell enough salvage to ensure they had sufficient food and supplies, and 2) locate star charts of both the Uncharted Territories and Peacekeeper space so that everyone could find their way back to their home planets. Andrew was always noticeably silent during the discussions about returning to their homes.

When Kevin had asked how the others could possibly not know where their home planets were, Allison had just rolled her eyes and said, “Space is big.” She’d then pointedly asked him if _he_ knew where his home planet was.

“It’s through a wormhole,” Kevin had said in exasperation, and then made everyone aware that he had a personal objective of finding out everything he could about wormholes so that he could maybe one day return to Earth.

All in all, it had been an incredibly stressful and strange time. They’d been travelling together for almost a sixth of a cycle (about two months by Kevin’s estimation), when Wymack reported his scans had found a large derelict ship.

They gathered on the bridge to stare at the viewscreen. The ship had a design eerily similar to the one that had chased them down on the day that Kevin had travelled through the wormhole. This one looked completely abandoned, listing on an angle in an uninhabited planet’s gravity.

“Look at the size of that thing,” marvelled Dan. “Are you sure it’s disabled?”

“Every scan confirms it’s a dead ship,” said Wymack.

“What are the Peacekeepers doing so far in Uncharted space?” wondered Nicky.

“Better question, who did that much damage to ship that size and are they still around?” said Allison.

“There is nothing in Peacekeeper space that could destroy a dreadnought like that one,” said Andrew.

“We’re not in Peacekeeper space,” said Dan. “You clearly aren’t the toughest thing out here.”

“Wymack, is the IFF transmitter still working?” asked Renee.

“It’s weak, but it identifies itself as the Terrapin,” said Wymack.

Andrew’s blank expression shifted for a second. “It was the flagship of the fleet,” he said. “The jewel of the armada. It disappeared without a trace over four cycles ago.”

“Good riddance,” said Seth, spitting on the floor in disgust.

“Can you _stop_ doing that where we _walk_?” groused Allison. Seth had an awful habit of expelling bodily fluids everywhere. Kevin wasn’t sure if it was something common for his species of if Seth was just an asshole. He strongly suspected the latter.

“That ship,” said Seth sharply, “was where I spent the first two cycles of my captivity. The captain, Hawking, delighted in making me feel small. I want nothing more to do with it.”

“That’s understandable,” said Dan, delicately, “but that ship probably has intact star charts or other useful information in its data spools. We’re salvaging everything we can find.”

“Good idea,” said Andrew, causing the others to frown at him in confusion. He usually made it a point never to agree with any of them. “There’s an armoury on board. You can never have too many weapons.”

* * *

Andrew armed himself with a pulse rifle and two pulse pistols before concealing several knives on his person. He paused, considering if he needed more. Probably not, he likely had enough weapons to explore what was nominally an abandoned ship.

“That rifle is as big as you are,” said M’Att, laughing jovially.

Andrew didn’t respond but for a flat look. All lab-born Peacekeepers were shorter than average Sebaceans, due to their compact, muscle-dense body type being preferential for soldiers that lived in close quarters. Andrew hefted the rifle easily and strode past the Luxan to the connection hatch.

“Okay everyone,” said Dan. The Illanic woman seemed to be of the mistaken belief that she had some sort of command over them. “Wymack says there’s breathable air, but only starboard topside; the lower levels are exposed to space. Andrew, do you want to take point?”

His instinct was to deny her request; instead, he nodded, fighting against his ingrained reaction to never, ever provide aid to a lesser species. He’d had to curb his instincts ever single solar since he’d taken leave of his senses and agreed to stay aboard Exy, leaving behind the life he had built for himself. He reminded himself that even if he hadn’t joined with the escaped prisoners and the hapless human he wouldn’t have been able to return to being a Prowler pilot: he would have either been killed or left in the clutches of Commander Spear.

He pushed past the others and led the way through the connection hatch, Kevin on his heels. Flickering emergency lights were the only illumination in the long passageway. Andrew cautiously headed in the general direction of the command centre. The main armoury was in the lower parts of the ship, lost to vacuum, but there should be a weapons locker located near command and the data spools that the others wanted would be found there.

“Homey,” muttered Kevin from behind him.

“Yes,” agreed Andrew. The cramped corridor and sharp angles had been a common view for his entire life. The curves and ribbing and warm colours on Exy struck him as completely unnatural.

“I was kidding,” said Kevin. “You can’t possibly miss this.”

“It doesn’t matter if I do or not; I can’t return to it.”

“You aren’t the only one whose life has been derailed,” argued Kevin. “We’re stuck together, so we might as well be—”

“Friends?” Andrew cut him off. “Family? I want or need neither. Keep your maudlin sentimentality.” He nodded to the left. “Mind the bodies.”

Kevin gasped loudly as he caught sight of one of the unfortunate Terrapin crew members.

“Deep space desiccation,” said Andrew, barely looking at the unrecognizable, blackened, dried-out corpse. He spared no pity for them. They’d died the way all Peacekeepers should: in space, during battle.

Taking the next cross corridor, Andrew led them through the sensor array, a vast multi-level chamber.

“Whoa,” said Kevin.

Dan tsked. “Look at this technology,” she marvelled. “If only you Peacekeepers would use your know-how to—”

“To what?” Andrew cut her off. “To fulfill your vision of who we should be?”

“To do good,” said Dan stubbornly.

“Good according to your ideals, you mean,” said Andrew. “Peacekeepers are hired throughout our region of space to maintain order. To keep harmony.”

“And to perform assassinations, blackmail, torture, incarcerations…” said M’Att.

“Which keep order,” said Andrew.

“Do you actually believe the drivel that you spout?” asked Dan.

Andrew didn’t respond. The answer was complicated. His experiences had taught him that high ranking Peacekeepers were corrupt and lusted after glory and power. He personally had no interest in the greater good, but he knew that many Peacekeepers served for lofty ideals, for a desire to provide stability.

“You know, back on Earth,” started Kevin, drawing a sigh from Nicky.

“You’re lucky Allison isn’t here,” he told Kevin. “She’s going to start smacking you every time you begin a sentence that way.”

“What do you mean, ‘start’?” asked Kevin. “Anyway, what I was going to say was that technology like this is only fantasy. And then I get out here and find it’s all in the control of Space Fascists. I’m disappointed.”

“No one cares about your unfulfilled childish fantasies,” said Andrew. “Command is just up ahead.”

It was clear as soon as they entered the command centre that other looters had beaten them there. The consoles were all completely stripped of anything of value. He could see right away that the data spools were long gone, meaning that there would be no useful navigational data. A cursory search showed that there were no weapons left behind, either.

“There’s nothing here,” said Dan, looking around with her hands on her hips.

“How sad that other scavengers have robbed us of our glory,” said Andrew dryly. “Let’s leave this tomb.”

“Wait,” said Kevin, from the far corner of the room. “This console is still lit up.”

M’Att was closest; he went over to examine the console that Kevin indicated. “Someone’s been trying to reestablish communications,” he said. He looked around. “I don’t think we’re alone here.”

Andrew raised his rifle instantly and moved to make sure that he was covering Kevin. He didn’t believe the human could deliver on his promises but he would not let him break his word without punishment. Until he decided to kill him, he would keep Kevin alive.

An almost inaudible sound caught his attention, like a quickly bitten-off gasp. He pushed aside a desiccated corpse off of a pile of debris and aimed his rifle squarely at the red-haired Sebacean woman who had been cowering underneath it.

She looked up at him with big, blue eyes that widened in recognition. “Aaron!” she said. The relief slid off her face as he continued to stare at her stonily. “Not Aaron,” she corrected. “You’re one of the other Minyard clones. Which one? Adam? Archer?”

He held up three fingers and her expression shuttered. “Andrew,” she said. She glanced around at his non-Sebacean companions. “You’re the escaped prisoners that Captain Moriyama is looking for.”

“Name. Division. Assignment,” ordered Andrew.

“You can’t expect that I’ll answer your questions, traitor,” she spat.

“I have a gun pointed directly at you, so, yes, I expect that,” said Andrew. “Name, division, assignment.”

She glared up at him, hatred in her eyes. “Katelyn Renaez. Tramco support. Maintenance provost. You’re the one who got Aaron demoted.”

“If I recall correctly, that was your fault,” he retorted. “What do you mean Captain Moriyama is looking for us? Peacekeeper Command would never have authorized an excursion into the Uncharted Territories.”

“I cannot answer for Peacekeeper Command,” Katelyn said stiffly.

“No, you’re just a lowly tech,” he replied, letting his disdain for her position seep into his words. “What are you doing here? Where are you stationed?”

“Uh, Andrew, she looks like she’s going to pass out,” said Nicky tentatively.

“We need to know what she knows,” said Dan. For all that the others accused him of being a racist, Andrew was certain that Dan would never have allowed this sort of treatment of anyone but a Peacekeeper.

“I’m not going to pass over secrets to a traitor who is in the company of inferior species,” said Katelyn.

“Tell us or I’ll kill you,” said Andrew, already bored of this interrogation.

Katelyn swallowed, clearly aware that he wasn’t lying. “I’m stationed at a secret Gammak base that’s not far from here.”

“Gammak base?” questioned Kevin.

“Research and development,” said Nicky, his knowledge again proving that he wasn’t lying about his supposed Peacekeeper upbringing. “It’s in the Uncharted Territories? It’s not supposed to be here.”

“Hence, it’s a _secret_ base,” said Katelyn. “There are many things that require research in this region of space. Word from scavengers informed us of the Terrapin’s location. I came with a team; we were tasked to discover who defeated it.”

“Where’s the rest of your team?” asked M’Att.

“Dead,” said Katelyn. “We were attacked; our Marauder was destroyed.”

“Attacked by whom?” asked Dan. “The ones who took out the dreadnought?”

“Hardly,” said Katelyn, with a scoff. “Our attackers were Sheyang.”

“Opportunistic foragers,” Nicky muttered to Kevin, who was looking baffled.

“How did you survive?” asked M’Att.

“I hid,” admitted Katelyn. “And then I started working on fixing communications to call for help.”

“Peacekeepers are on their way here?” demanded Dan.

Katelyn opened her mouth and Andrew prodded her with the butt of his rifle to remind her to be truthful. “...No,” she admitted. “I haven’t yet managed to send a distress signal. You interrupted me.”

“Did you find how the Terrapin was destroyed?” asked Andrew.

“The data spools are gone, but the blast patterns…” she looked at Andrew imploringly. “They are consistent with what little we know about the Nebari.”

Andrew raised an eyebrow and instantly became annoyed with himself for showing interest. Almost nothing was known about the Nebari, only that their borders were heavily guarded and no one who entered Nebari space ever returned.

“Nebari?” asked Kevin, as an aside to Nicky.

“Tell you later,” Nicky replied.

“Fine,” said Andrew, lowering his gun. “Is there anything here worth salvaging?”

“Um,” said Katelyn, blinking at his lowered weapon. “The DS is mostly functional? But I doubt a soldier like you could figure out how to install it.”

“DS?” said Kevin, as usual sounding annoyed at his lack of knowledge.

“Defense screen,” said Dan. “How about you explain to us how to get that working on our Leviathan?”

“I have been sworn never to provide Peacekeeper technology to the enemy,” said Katelyn. She shifted. “...But, if you promise to let me go, I will help you.”

“Let you go? So you can provide your Peacekeeper friends our position?” sniffed Dan.

“I won’t say a word about your presence here,” said Katelyn. “Do we have a deal?”

“Yes,” said Andrew.

“You can’t _unilaterally decide_ —” sputtered Dan.

“The tech will not report us,” said Andrew confidently.

“You’re willing to risk our lives for that belief?” said M’Att. “How could you possibly know that, anyway?”

“How do you think a Peacekeeper captain will react when they find out she let us go?” asked Andrew.

“She’s a tech,” argued Dan. “She can’t be expected to stop armed fugitives.”

“She can be executed for failing to try,” said Andrew.

“Every time I think I understand how awful Peacekeepers are…” muttered M’Att.

“Oh, you’ve heard nothing yet,” said Nicky darkly.

“How much worse can they get?” asked Kevin.

“Don’t ask questions when you don’t want the answers,” said Nicky.

Andrew ignored them, watching Katelyn. He didn’t think he had quite scared her into silence yet. He had one more card to play. “What do you think will happen when they find out you let me go? I think they’ll look closely at your relationship with the man whose face I share. Do you really want a spotlight on your forbidden affair?”

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” said Katelyn desperately.

“You should practice your lying before you report back to your superiors about this mission,” suggested Andrew.

“What are you talking about?” asked Dan, sounding impatient.

“Katelyn here is in love with my brother,” said Andrew. Nicky’s face cleared in understanding.

Dan’s didn’t. “So?”

“Peacekeepers are not permitted to love,” said Nicky. “It interferes with their single-minded loyalty to Peacekeeper Command.”

“You can’t stop people from feeling love,” protested Dan.

“You can strongly discourage them,” replied Nicky. “I was only a couple years old when Peacekeeper Command learned about the existence of me and my mother. My father was ordered to kill us both or to submit to execution himself.”

Katelyn’s face wrinkled in revulsion when she realized what Nicky was implying about his heritage. Peacekeepers were taught from birth that the bloodlines must remain pure. The union that produced Nicky was considered evil.

“What happened?” asked M’Att quietly.

“My mother suspected something was wrong. She faked my death and bribed a passing trader to take me to an outlying Sebacean colony, where I was adopted by a family called the Kloses.”

“And your father?”

“Is still a high-ranking Peacekeeper officer,” said Nicky bitterly. “Since he complied with the order he was given.”

“You’re right,” said Kevin, after a brief silence. “I shouldn’t have asked.”

“That situation is not the same as mine,” argued Katelyn. “A relationship with an alien is an abomination.”

“Let’s cool it with the xenophobia,” said M’Att.

“Aaron was demoted because of his attachment to you,” Andrew told Katelyn.

“Which you reported!” she accused.

He ignored her. “If it is discovered that your liaison has continued, neither of you will survive.” He strongly suspected that Katelyn would never endanger Aaron; he’d seen the way her face had lit up when she thought that Aaron had come to rescue her.

“You’re right,” she said, resigned. “I promise. I’ll work with you to install the DS and then you can go. I will never mention our meeting again and try to wipe it from my memory.”

“I’ll help with the DS,” offered Kevin.

Katelyn gave him a skeptical look. “It’s very sophisticated—”

“I have a degree in engineering and a doctorate in cosmic theory! I am an astronaut!” said Kevin loudly. “I am not a stupid, useless child!”

“You’d better let him help lest he throw a tantrum,” said Dan.

* * *

Kevin actually found himself getting along with Katelyn. Once he was able to prove that he wasn’t incompetent, she started treating him a lot better.

“I can’t believe you’re not Sebacean,” she marvelled.

“Just human,” he said. “We haven’t managed to conquer other people yet so we just fight each other.”

She laughed as he led her onto Exy, carrying the components that made up the DS. Seth tried to bar their access to the ship.

“It’s bad enough that I have to cohabitate with _one_ of those foul-smelling abominations,” he sneered. “I will not tolerate another one on board.”

“Back off, you little gremlin,” snapped Kevin. “She’s over here to increase our defense capabilities and then she’s leaving.”

“Gremlin…?” repeated Katelyn slowly.

“Human word,” shrugged Kevin. He had learned that there was no point in arguing that humans spoke multiple languages. No matter what he said the others always claimed he was ‘speaking human’.

Seth peered past them into the long corridor of the Terrapin. “Everybody’s dead?” he asked. “All that’s left are corpses?”

“Yes,” said Kevin hesitantly, wondering where Seth was going with this.

“Ha!” laughed Seth. “Captain Hawking spend years trying to break me, to make me submit. And now? Now he’s dead and mummified and I’m still here. You hear that Hawking?!” he shouted past the connection port. “You lose!” He directed his hover chair higher so he was at eye level with Katelyn. “Heed me, Peacekeeper. Do what you came to do and then get off my ship.”

“Not yours!” Kevin called after him as he floated away, seemingly having lost interest.

Katelyn looked like she’d swallowed her tongue. “I’ve never met an actual Hynerian before.”

“Charming, aren’t they?” said Kevin dryly. “Come on, we have to make a couple connections down in Wymack’s den before we can install these in command.”

Wymack was also not particularly happy to see a loyal Peacekeeper on board; he’d made his peace with Andrew being there, but he also could not forget his and Exy’s longtime captivity at the hands of the Peacekeepers. He was downright snippy with her and clearly distrustful of the technology that she brought on board. However, he let them proceed and the two of them working together got the DS functional before too long, adding a layer of defense to Exy’s hull against energy weapons.

“Everyone’s back on board,” Renee reported through Kevin’s communicator once he and Katelyn were finished. “Send the tech back to the Peacekeeper dreadnought and we can get out of here.”

“Well,” said Kevin, standing next to the connection port, “I guess this is goodbye.” He didn’t actually want Katelyn to go; she had been the first person to treat him kindly and without condescension since he’d arrived.

“I promise I won’t tell anyone about you,” she said. “Although, if you want my advice, you could probably find yourself some better company.”

“My options are severely limited,” he said wryly, and watched her go.

He headed up to the centre chamber (which was what the galley was actually called) as Exy disengaged from the Terrapin. He hadn’t eaten all day and he liked looking out the viewports at the unfamiliar stars. It still made his head spin to think that he was so far from home and travelling aboard a living ship, but the stars, even in their unknown patterns, calmed him as they’d always done.

Allison was already in the room, getting something to eat. Kevin grimaced. It turned out that Allison shed like a cat and he wasn’t looking forward to finding her hair everywhere (he’d also learned that her hair turned bright red when she was angry and her scream could melt metal so he avoided complaining about finding her hair everywhere).

“I hear you have a doctorate,” she said.

“You know what it is?” he asked warily.

“Sure,” she replied flippantly. “I have three. My culture is big on education and knowledge.”

“You do not have three doctorates!”

“Yup. One in anthropology - my dissertation was on religious beliefs in pre-spaceflight civilizations; one in biochemistry, and one in xenobiology.”

Kevin groaned and put his head on his crossed arms. “You are _not_ smarter than me. I am the smartest person I know.”

“I’m sure that there is one flopworm that is smarter than its compatriots,” said Allison. “That doesn’t make it objectively intelligent.”

Kevin glared and ate a food cube angrily.

“The Peacekeeper is gone?” Allison said next.

“Yeah,” said Kevin wistfully. “I’ll miss her.”

Allison snorted. “Don’t tell me you’re going to be all insufferably love-sick from now on.”

“I barely know her,” said Kevin. “Besides, she’s already in love with someone else.”

“Right, Andrew’s clone… or is Andrew his clone?”

“I think they’re both clones of someone else,” he said. “Or maybe identical siblings? The details weren’t really clear.”

“Can you imagine falling in love with someone exactly like Andrew?”

“He’s not really my type,” said Kevin. “I prefer someone less…”

“Terrifying?” suggested Allison.

“No,” he said, thinking of past men and women he’d been with. Terrifying was actually something he was attracted to. “Less blank. I like people who show their emotions.”

She considered. “Don’t go falling in love with _me_.”

“Yuck.”

“The feeling’s mutual. Did she tell you anything more about who was able to disable the dreadnought?”

“Nothing more than it was possibly the… Nebari?” said Kevin, sounding out the unfamiliar word.

“Yes, Nebari,” Allison confirmed.

“Who are…?”

Allison sighed, put upon that Kevin didn’t have the basic knowledge that she’d grown up with.

“In this part of the galaxy there are three major powers, okay? You’ve got the Peacekeepers, who you’re acquainted with: they live in Peacekeeper space and technically they ‘protect’ all the other species’ homeworlds that fall under their jurisdiction. Then there’s the Scarrans. They live in a place called Tormented Space, and they’re possibly even scarier than the Peacekeepers. They’re evolved from lizards, with sharp teeth and long jaws.”

“Sounds like you’re describing a velociraptor. There are dinosaurs here?”

“I have no idea what those words mean, but sure,” said Allison magnanimously. “They have an uneasy truce with the Peacekeepers as neither really wants to test the military might of the other. Finally, there are the Nebari. Nobody knows anything about them. Their borders are heavily defended and the few Nebari that have ever left their territory talk about how the Nebari rule others not by conquering them but by assimilating them.”

“Like the Borg,” said Kevin.

“Yeah, sure,” sighed Allison, clearly annoyed at Kevin using words that didn’t translate to her language. “Anyway, the Uncharted Territories is a large neutral region that separates the three of them.” She sketched out a rough shape in the air. “Technically none of them are supposed to be here, but we already have evidence that both the Peacekeepers and the Nebari are. Honestly, you should try to avoid them. You’ve proven that you have the ability to anger anybody who speaks with you and you already have one military power who has you in their crosshairs.”

“I didn’t do that on purpose,” argued Kevin.

Allison shrugged. “It still happened.” She got up to leave. “If you do piss off someone else powerful, try to keep the rest of us out of it next time?”

Kevin groaned and thunked his head onto the table. “I know you don’t care, but I _am_ doing my best here!”

Allison rolled her eyes, but softened minutely. “I suppose that you could be doing worse.”

“That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.” He looked up at her.

“That’s the nicest thing I’ve ever said to anybody,” she retorted. “Don’t let it go to your head.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has non-graphic torture and murder. Please feel free to message me if you have questions!

Starburst had not improved upon familiarity; it still turned Kevin's stomach inside out and disoriented him. In fact it had only gotten worse, since Exy's long captivity had meant that the first starburst he had experienced was much shorter than most.

Even taking into account how terrible starburst was, this one seemed even worse.

“Is this normal?” he asked, stumbling into command while focusing on not bringing up his food cubes.

“Clearly not since it’s never happened before,” snapped Allison. She, Dan, and Renee were all standing at different consoles examining the readouts that Kevin couldn't make heads or tails of. Translator microbes did not help him read the unfamiliar writing.

“Exy is jumping us farther than usual this time,” said Renee.

“We want to stay far away from that Gammak base that the Peacekeeper tech told us about,” said Dan distractedly. “Wymack, the sensors are giving us garbage, we're practically flying blind.”

“I'm trying to compensate,” said Wymack. “We'll be exiting starburst in three… two…”

Exy jerked as she returned to normal space. Kevin breathed in slowly through his nose. Allison would not be kind if he vomited in command.

“Wait, look out!” cried Renee, as a small ship appeared directly on the viewscreen in front of them.

“I see it,” said Wymack, sounding strained as Exy took evasive action. They were too close to avoid the other ship entirely; they collided, clipping the other ship's wing.

“Did Exy sustain any damage?” asked Dan.

“None that I can see,” said Wymack. “But the other ship has lost propulsion. I'm deploying the docking web to bring it on board.”

“What? We don't know who they are, Wymack,” complained Allison. “Leave them outside.”

“It was our fault that the collision happened and although usually Exy and I are perfectly happy to follow your consensus we are not going to abandon those who need our help,” said Wymack firmly.

“Great,” muttered Dan, touching her communicator. “Andrew, you like guns and hate people.”

“What do you want?” Andrew's bored voice responded.

“We're about to have some guests,” continued Dan. “You should go to the maintenance bay to greet them.”

“On my way,” was the answer.

“Kevin, get down there, too,” said Allison. “You _look_ intimidating, as long as you don't speak.”

“I'll join you once I finish scanning their ship,” said Dan. “These are some massive energy readings.”

Kevin headed down to the maintenance bay, unclipping the pulse pistol he’d begun keeping holstered at all times. It felt wrong carrying a weapon around, but the small amount of time he'd spent in the Uncharted Territories had taught him that everyone was hostile and they all wanted him dead.

M'Att and Andrew were already in the maintenance bay, M'Att with his qualta blade gun and Andrew with a pulse rifle, both of them aiming at the docking bay doors.

“Do we know who they are?” asked M'Att.

“We know nothing,” replied Kevin.

“While that may be your natural state, the rest of us don't appreciate being in the dark,” said Andrew.

The docking bay doors hissed open, and a man walked through them, his hands raised in surrender. He looked Sebacean, although not a short one from a breeding facility. The stranger was easily as tall as M’Att, and was thick with muscle.

“Stop there,” commanded Andrew.

“I am unarmed,” the man said. His affect was completely flat, his eyes dull and lifeless. There was something about him that made all the hair on Kevin’s arms stand up.

“Your ship is not,” said Dan, striding into the maintenance bay. “You have a powerful energy weapon.”

“It is powered down. We only have peaceful intentions.”

“‘We’?” asked M’Att.

“There are two more aboard the ship. May I inform them that it is safe for them to emerge?”

Dan glanced at both M’Att and Andrew before nodding hesitantly. As the man turned back to the ship, Seth floated his hover chair into the maintenance bay.

“Have we suddenly become a pleasure cruise, inviting visitors on board?” he griped. “You!” he gasped when he caught sight of the Sebacean man. “It can’t be you! You’re dead!” He launched himself out of his chair.

M’Att managed to catch Seth before he attacked their visitor. “What are you doing?” he grunted, having difficulty holding onto the struggling Hynerian.

“That’s Hawking! The captain of the Terrapin. My _torturer_!” spat Seth.

“I do not remember,” said the man.

“You must be mistaken, Seth,” said Dan placatingly. “We found Hawking’s body, remember?”

“He is not mistaken,” said a new voice, a woman’s, emerging from the ship. She was most decidedly not Sebacean. [She was monochrome](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQPcsKr-OycpjjWl9z5HNzH1x7LeMkFmzNj03FldIy9Tkkw0SFCBQ): her skin was grey, her hair greyish-white, her eyes black. There was a silver, metallic button on her right temple. She spoke without inflection, “He once was Captain Hawking of the Terrapin.”

“‘Was’?” repeated Kevin.

The woman turned her expressionless black eyes on him. “We fixed him. He is now incapable of evil and no longer poses any threat.”

“Like _that_ doesn’t raise more questions,” muttered Dan.

“We are _not_ letting that animal on board!” said Seth.

“Wymack said we are,” said Dan. “So, yes, we are.”

“Let go of me,” said Seth. M’Att put him down. “I’m watching you,” Seth said to Hawking as he climbed back in his hover chair. “You may have fooled them but I know you. I know who you are and what you’re capable of.” He left the maintenance bay.

“He will learn in time that I am correct,” said the grey woman.

“And who are you?” Dan asked.

“I am Lola,” the woman replied. “My people are the Nebari.” Both Dan and M’Att tensed in surprise while Andrew perked up in interest. Kevin could only feel dread, remembering Allison’s words. Lola continued speaking, either not noting or not caring about their reactions, “You have damaged our ship. We are due to rendezvous with our host ship in this quadrant so we will stay on board your Leviathan until it arrives. In the interim, we will require quarters and sustenance. Additionally, we are transporting a very dangerous criminal. We will all be safer if he is kept in a containment cell.”

Dan’s eyes kept getting wider and wider in disbelief as Lola monotonously listed her demands, but as Wymack wanted to make up for his error she could do nothing but nod.

“Hawking, go get the fugitive and escort him here,” said Lola.

Hawking nodded and headed back into the Nebari ship. Kevin wasn’t sure what he was expecting— a grizzled, hardened criminal, most likely— but that wasn’t who exited the ship in Hawking’s grasp. [The slight man](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/farscape/images/3/3a/Nerri.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20070220093644) was also Nebari, with pale grey skin and black hair. His hands were cuffed behind his back and he wore an electric collar that had red flashing lights. He was small and thin and appeared vulnerable and not dangerous in the least. Kevin shifted uneasily.

Kevin could tell that M’Att and Dan shared his trepidation about the situation. Lola seemed to pick up on their hesitation.

“Have you ever been stung by a watruka plant?” she asked. “It, too, appears harmless. Where is your containment area?”

Andrew, who had been staring at the Nebari prisoner with an intent expression, inclined his head. “This way.”

Once they got to the cell, Hawking practically threw the prisoner into it; the young man stumbled and fell splayed on the floor as the cell door closed.

M’Att swallowed heavily, his eyes on the prisoner. “What’s his crime?” he asked.

“Nothing that concerns you,” said Lola.

“She won’t tell you because you won’t think it’s a crime,” croaked the prisoner.

“Junior…” said Lola, a touch of warning in her flat tone.

“I don’t suppose you’ll offer me amnesty?” said Junior. His tone was wry, very different from his companions’.

“We’re not a diplomatic ship,” said Dan, sounding apologetic.

“If you don’t do something they’re going to make me like _him_ ,” said Junior, nodding toward Hawking. “Erase my personality and make me an obedient slave. That’s cruel by anyone’s stan—”

He was cut off as Lola touched the button on her temple. The lights on his collar blinked yellow and he cried out in pain, pulling at the collar. The smell of burnt flesh filled the air.

“Stop!” said M’Att, pushing at Lola. “What are you doing?”

“His behaviour was inappropriate,” said Lola blandly. “He required correction. This is the reason he wears a collar in the first place.”

“He was just talking to us!” countered M’Att. He turned back to the bars. “Junior, are you okay?”

Junior rolled his head to stretch his neck and looked in M’Att’s direction. “Call me Neil,” he said. “I won’t be their obedient ‘Junior’ until they mind cleanse me.”

Lola inserted herself between M’Att and the cell. She looked up at him steadily. “You crippled our ship; endangered our lives; disrupted our plans. Are you now the arbiter of our justice system as well?”

M’Att puffed up in affront.

“How about we show you to your quarters now?” asked Dan, pulling M’Att back.

“Very well,” said Lola. “However, I must demand that you leave our prisoner alone. He is not your concern.”

* * *

“I am curious about this mind cleanse,” said Renee lightly. After showing Lola and Hawking to quarters, Dan had returned to command. Meanwhile, Kevin and M’Att brought Lola to the centre chamber for something to eat, where Renee had joined them. Kevin looked up in interest at Renee’s query. He wanted to know more about it, too.

“It is something we use for only the worst offenders,” said Lola.

“Like Hawking?”

“We did wish to save all the Peacekeepers aboard the Terrapin, but we were sadly unable.”

“Why?” asked M’Att.

“Because they refused to surrender,” said Lola.

“How many of your warships did it take to defeat a Command Carrier?” was M’Att’s next question.

Lola looked slightly puzzled. “We do not have warships. Nebari do not have war. We enlighten those who oppose us until they share our views.” Kevin didn’t like the sound of that. “One of our standard host ships disabled the Terrapin… much like the ship that is scheduled to come meet us.”

Kevin shivered; he wanted these aliens off the ship and far away.

“Back to the mind cleanse,” said Renee. Her voice was sweet but Kevin could hear a hint of steel in it. “What exactly is it?”

“The mental cleanse is a procedure that eliminates thought patterns that lead to inappropriate behaviour.”

Renee couldn’t conceal her disgust. “And what does the subject feel during this procedure?”

“Hawking is most appreciative of this treatment, as are all mind cleansed members of our society. You can ask him.”

“He has no memory of his previous life,” said M’Att.

“No,” agreed Lola. “Memories of his past may cause him to resume his previous behaviours.”

“In other words, you destroyed his memories and changed his personality so he would be your obedient slave?” said Renee, sounding more hostile than Kevin had ever heard her.

“That’s what you’re going to do to Neil?” said M’Att, aghast.

Lola looked at him and blinked once, slowly. “There is no ‘Neil’. There is only a prisoner that needs punishment.” The complete lack of emotion in her words somehow made them more threatening.

“What’s his crime?” demanded M’Att.

“His exact crime does not concern you; only know that it is illegal by our standards.” She paused. “I’m beginning to think that all of the people aboard this ship may benefit from a mental cleanse.”

Kevin opened his mouth to argue before he remembered that the Nebari’s host ship had easily taken out a Peacekeeper Command Carrier. The others seemed to realize this at the same time. They all shifted uncomfortably and fell silent.

* * *

Andrew stared through the bars of the cell. The prisoner stared back, his black eyes expressive. Although he would never have admitted it, he’d always been curious about the Nebari. Curiosity among Peacekeeper infantry was highly discouraged, but the current situation demanded it.

The woman, Lola, held no interest for him. He knew her type: utterly convinced that she was correct in everything she did, a true zealot. She was dangerous, but not remarkable. What _was_ remarkable was that a Peacekeeper captain had been turned into an obedient slave. Andrew had questions for him and also for the prisoner, who was maybe the most interesting of them all.

The prisoner— Neil, he had called himself— was sitting against the far wall of the cell. He smiled lopsidedly. “Did you bring me some food?”

“How are you planning on eating with your hands shackled behind you?”

“Maybe you’ll feed me?” Neil said suggestively, licking his lower lip.

Andrew ignored him. He had noticed the Nebari’s attractiveness— he wasn’t _blind_ — but it wasn’t something he was ever going to act on. Instead he nodded to the collar and cuffs. “They seem scared of you.”

“Of course they are,” scoffed Neil. “I don’t respect their authority.”

“And that’s the only reason you’re in there?”

“I didn’t conform and then I ran away,” said Neil. “They can’t risk my defiance spreading. Other than that… I’ve stolen food when hungry. I’ve snuck on ships without paying for transport. I’ve defended myself when necessary. Nothing that justifies them erasing me and replacing me with a brain-damaged zombie that does whatever they want.”

As Andrew watched impassively, he stood and approached the bars. He dropped to his knees once he got there and looked up at Andrew from beneath his eyelashes. He was close enough to reach out and touch. Something throbbed in Andrew’s lower belly.

“If you stop them from taking me, I’ll reward you,” Neil said, pressing himself against the bars. “I see the way you’re watching me. I’ll give you anything you want.” He bit his lower lip. “Anything.” His tone was smooth and enticing.

Andrew breathed in sharply and took a couple steps back. He decided that retreat was the safest option.

“Wymack, where’s Hawking?” he asked, turning and leaving the cell and the knowing eyes of the prisoner behind.

“In the maintenance bay, attempting repairs on the Nebari ship’s propulsion system,” said Wymack.

“Unsupervised?” asked Andrew, heading in that direction.

“The DRDs are capable of monitoring everyone on board,” said Wymack. “Also, Nicky is with him.”

As far as Andrew concerned the Diagnostic Repair Drones were probably more competent than Nicky. He was proven correct when he arrived to the maintenance bay to find Nicky chattering inconsequentially at Hawking, who was utterly focused on his work.

“You are Captain Hawking of the Terrapin,” said Andrew, cutting off Nicky’s prattle.

“I am told that that is indeed my name, yes,” said Hawking.

“How did you escape its destruction?” asked Andrew. Peacekeepers were expected to go down with their ship. The greatest honour a Peacekeeper could achieve was to die in battle.

“I am informed that I faked my death and abandoned ship. The Nebari picked up my escape pod.”

Andrew stared hard at the disgraced captain. “You have no memories of your life before the Nebari captured you?”

“They didn’t capture me; they saved me,” said Hawking. “I was lost, confused. Now I have meaning and purpose.”

“Purpose?”

“I live to serve the Nebari.”

“It sounds to me that mental cleansing is basically brainwashing,” said Nicky.

“No, it is a corrective measure,” said Hawking. “I am happy and at peace, something which I never could have achieved during my previous life.”

“Or so they’ve told you,” said Andrew dryly.

A clanking noise caught his attention. He looked up to see a metal sphere rolling into the maintenance bay. Acting quickly, he leapt away from it as it exploded.

Once the heat and light subsided, he sat up cautiously, blinking away the dark spots in his vision. The first thing he saw was Nicky angrily facing off against Seth.

“You set off a _bomb_ on a _spaceship_?!” Nicky screeched, barely audible over the ringing in Andrew’s ears.

“He’s _evil_ ,” Seth retorted. “You don’t know what he’s done to me! He deserves to die!”

“He’s been brain-neutered since then, you moron!”

Dan and M’Att ran in, guns at the ready.

“What happened?” demanded Dan. “Wymack said there was an explosion?”

“Seth tried to kill us!” exclaimed Nicky.

“I tried to kill _him_ ,” corrected Seth, pointing at Hawking. “You were just collateral damage.”

“ _Seth_ ,” Dan said through gritted teeth. “You attacked one of our guests?”

“‘Guests’?” echoed Seth. “They’re not guests! They’re unwanted intruders.”

Andrew pulled himself off the floor and shook his head to try to clear the ringing. “Confine the Hynerian to his quarters,” he said, barely keeping a lid on his temper.

“I’m trying to save us from a maniac!” said Seth.

Dan grudgingly nodded in agreement with Andrew, and gestured to M’Att. M’Att grimaced as he reluctantly carried a struggling and complaining Seth from the room, clearly unhappy to be doing as Andrew had ordered. Andrew wasn’t sure if it was because he didn’t want to confine one of their crewmates or if he just didn’t like obeying Andrew.

“Hawking, what is happening?” enquired Lola’s dull voice through a communicator.

“The Hynerian who knew me before my salvation is clearly distressed by my presence,” said Hawking. “Perhaps I should confine myself while we are on board?”

“Stay where you are,” said Lola. “I am heading to check on our prisoner.”

Andrew decided that Lola’s interactions with Neil should be supervised. He retraced the steps he had taken less than half an arn previously back to the containment level.

Lola had beaten him there. When he approached she looked at him, her eyes flashing with the first emotion that she had yet displayed. “I _told_ you he was dangerous,” she said.

The cell door was open, the control collar was disabled and on the floor, and Neil was nowhere to be seen. Somehow, Andrew was not surprised.

* * *

“There’s no sign of him on tier three,” Renee reported.

“Or four,” said Allison.

“Is someone guarding the maintenance bay?” asked Dan. “He’s going to have to steal a transport to get off the ship.”

“On it,” said M’Att.

“I have the DRDs searching,” said Wymack. “But there’s no trace of him. He’s very good at staying hidden.”

Kevin let the background reports of their so far fruitless search wash over him as he searched for the escaped prisoner in the crew’s living quarters.

“Help!” shouted Seth over comms. His cry was followed by the sounds of a brief scuffle. “He’s in my quarters!” Seth’s voice sputtered before his comm cut off.

“Seth?” said Dan.

“You’d better no be lying so we’ll let you out,” warned Nicky.

“On my way to Seth,” said Kevin, turning and running toward Seth’s room.

“Me, too,” said Dan.

Kevin reached Seth’s quarters just as Dan showed up from the opposite direction. They found Seth struggling; he was tied up in his bedsheets, a pillow stuck into his wide mouth.

“The Nebari prisoner offered to let me out to kill Hawking if I got him a transport,” coughed Seth, when Dan, frowning unhappily, pried the pillow from his mouth. “When I get my hands on that tralk, I will show him the proper way to treat Hynerian royalty.”

Kevin rolled his eyes, having heard similar threats regularly. “Where’d he go?”

“Into the ducts,” said Seth.

“Have you secured your command?” asked Hawking’s eerily blank voice from the entrance to Seth’s room.

“Get away from me, you monster!” shouted Seth.

Dan held him fast and ignored his words. “Why?” she asked Hawking, concerned. “Is he capable of taking over the ship?”

“According to Lola he is more clever than he appears. He is capable of anything.”

“Kevin, go secure command,” said Dan. “Wymack, are any DRDs in the ducts?”

Kevin headed toward command, Hawking trailing him. Once there, he cautiously entered, keeping his sidearm up. He didn’t understand how this could be his life now; he was a _scientist._

He was about to proclaim command clear when his communicator sounded.

“Lola is dead,” Andrew reported, completely unaffected.

“Are you sure?” asked Dan.

“Her throat has been slashed and she’s lying in a pool of her own blood. I would say the evidence is conclusive.”

“Neil killed her?” asked M’Att.

“I don’t blame him,” said Allison.

“Everybody buddy up,” said Dan. “We can’t let him kill anyone else.”

“Lola is dead?” Hawking repeated, his face crumpling.

“I’m sorry,” said Kevin, turning toward him. He’d barely moved when one of Hawking’s large, gorilla-like arms swung out and cracked him across the skull.

* * *

Andrew stared down at the Nebari woman dispassionately, her blue blood staining his shoes. Good riddance, as far as he was concerned, but he had tacit protection agreements with Exy’s crew. He couldn’t let Neil kill anyone else. No matter how much some of them deserved it.

The circuits in the wall beside Andrew started powering down and he could see the door swing shut at the end of the corridor. That couldn’t be good.

“Wymack?” he asked. No answer. That _really_ couldn’t be good.

The central speaker system crackled to life.

“Crew of Exy,” said a flat voice. “This is Captain Hawking, the new commander of this Leviathan. I’ve taken control of the ship and I’m holding the one called Kevin hostage. You will surrender or you will die.” There was a brief rustling sound and then Kevin shouted, “He must be the one who killed Lola! Seth’s bomb broke the mental cl—” followed by the sound of flesh hitting flesh.

Andrew closed his eyes briefly. Keeping Kevin alive was turning out to be much more work than he had anticipated. He turned on his heel, heading toward command. He wasn’t completely sure how he was going to break through the blast doors, but he’d figure something out.

He heard a small sound, barely audible, as he passed a storage room. He stopped and held still, looking through the open door into the dark room beyond. None of his shipmates were on this tier, so he had a good idea of who was in there. Making a decision that could very well prove fatal, he holstered his weapon and slowly walked into the room, his hands up to show he was unarmed.

He was met by a metal bar swinging at his face from the shadows. He ducked it easily, before grabbing it and knocking Neil down. Neil was scrappy but no match for a trained soldier; Andrew was able to subdue him easily. He pinned the struggling man to the floor, resting his weight on top of him in order to keep him down.

“Calm down,” said Andrew. “I have a proposition for you.”

At that, Neil’s entire demeanour changed. He smirked and let his eyes fall half-closed. “Do you?” he asked seductively, rolling his hips up against Andrew’s.

“Stop.”

To Andrew’s surprise, Neil did. The coy look left his face and he studied Andrew contemplatively.

“What do you want?” he asked.

“To make a deal.”

“You expect me to trust you?”

“You want out of here before that host ship arrives, don’t you?” asked Andrew. “The only way we can starburst is if we regain control of the ship.”

“I didn’t think Peacekeepers like you were allowed to think for themselves.”

“Says the one whose people practice literal mind control.”

“Speaking of, my people are going to mind cleanse the lot of you when they find out what happened to Lola.”

“Sounds like we’re natural allies.”

Neil hesitated, his eyes darting back and forth as he studied Andrew’s face.

“I don’t trust you any more than you trust me,” said Andrew, “but my plan requires us to work together.”

“I do this and, what, you keep me as a pet?” asked Neil derisively. “I stay in my cage and you take me out when you want to play?”

“You’ve already proven that we can’t hold you,” said Andrew.

“I am a talented escape artist.”

“This ship isn’t a prison transport anymore; you can leave whenever you want.”

Neil relaxed with the promise that he wouldn’t be kept captive. “Fine. Tell me your plan.”

* * *

Kevin did _not_ like being punched in the face. It had happened with alarming frequency since his trip through the wormhole. He was no stranger to people _threatening_ to punch him (he was well aware that many people were not enamoured with his personality) but back on Earth he hadn’t associated with the types of people who would actually go through with it.

He also didn’t like being held captive. Hawking tied him up and proceeded to ignore him entirely, pulling open consoles and splicing the synapses inside to take control of Exy. His motions were confident and sure, like someone who had spend a fair amount of time on a Leviathan. Kevin was going to strangle that damn Hynerian the next time he saw him for inadvertently undoing the mental cleanse.

Kevin tried to spark a conversation with Hawking in order to build rapport. The man glared at him balefully and hadn’t said a single word since he’d made the announcement to the crew.

There was an unexpected scraping sound from overhead. Hawking cocked his gun and looked up. He ducked as a vent cover was kicked outward and the Nebari prisoner dropped to the floor.

Neil stood, his hands up. “Hawking,” he said.

“Junior,” said Hawking, causing Neil to flinch minutely. “You’re even more resourceful than Lola warned.”

“Poor Lola,” said Neil, running a hand along the console closest to him as he sauntered around it. “I’ll miss her like I miss the electricity she liked to send coursing through my body.” Kevin took note that his grey flesh was badly burned around his neck where the collar had been.

“Why are you here?” asked Hawking. “I expected you to steal one of the transport pods and been long gone by now.”

“That _does_ sound like something I’d do,” said Neil. “Then I realized: a Leviathan is a nicer ride than a transport pod.”

“The Leviathan is under my control.”

“I have valuable information,” said Neil. “One of the crew members, the Peacekeeper defector, thinks I’m on his side. I say we turn the tables, team up, and take _him_ out instead. Then we’ll split the spoils.”

“Traitor,” accused Kevin.

Neil flicked him an unimpressed look, and continued circling the room, poking at things with interest.

“Stop touching things,” said Hawking. His gun was trained on Neil. “I’ll never team up with a liar like you. You deserve death.”

“Pity,” said Neil. He paused, then exploded into action. He dove forward to release the door lock just as Hawking took a shot at him. Neil cried out in pain and collapsed to the ground as the door swung open, revealing Andrew waiting on the other side with a pulse rifle. One shot later, and Hawking was dead, his blood spattered all over command.

Kevin closed his eyes tightly. He’d seen a lot of people die since they’d come into the Uncharted Territories but, unlike most of the others, he wasn’t quite desensitized to it yet.

“Sorry about the mess,” drawled Andrew. He gave Kevin an assessing glance. “Injuries?” he asked. Kevin shook his head. “How about you, runaway?” called Andrew to where Neil was lying on the ground.

“Your genius plan got me shot!” Neil said angrily. “Why did _I_ have to be the one in danger?” He was grasping his upper arm, bright blue blood spilling through his fingers.

“Flesh wound,” said Andrew. “You seem like the type of person who gets shot regularly; you should be used to it by now.”

* * *

“I rigged the Nebari vessel to explode,” said Renee. “To their host ship’s sensors it should appear that their energy weapon overloaded.”

The eight members of Exy’s crew were gathered in [Wymack’s den](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/farscape/images/f/f7/Pilot%27s_Den_A.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20080229060334) to discuss recent events. Neil wasn’t invited, but he’d promised to stay within sight of a DRD.

“Hopefully the Nebari will assume that Neil’s responsible; that he decided to die rather than submit,” said Dan.

“They have no reason to know of our presence or to follow us,” added Renee.

“With our luck, they’ll somehow be able to tell that only Lola and Hawking’s bodies were on that thing when it exploded,” said Nicky. He shivered. “I really don’t want them to know about us. They’re creepy.”

“Neil says that their sensors aren’t advanced enough to detect that he wasn’t on board,” said M’Att.

“Speaking of our little runaway…” said Allison. “Are we going to kick him off the boat? He’s a dangerous criminal.”

“Seems kinda hypocritical,” said M’Att, “given that we’re all escaped prisoners.”

“That _thing_ attacked me!” said Seth. “No way are we sharing our resources with him!”

“We’ll vote,” said Dan. “Majority rules. Either he can stay as long as he wants, or we’ll drop him off on the next inhabited planet we visit.”

“There’s an even number of us,” said Kevin.

“Wymack and Exy get a vote, of course,” said Renee.

“Well, I vote no to him staying! Space him, for all I care,” said Seth.

“I also vote no,” said Kevin. “We already have the Peacekeepers after us; we don’t need the Nebari after us as well.”

“I vote yes,” said M’Att. “He deserves a chance just as much as the rest of us do.”

“No,” said Dan, apologetically. “We don’t need another mouth to feed and he seems untrustworthy and uncooperative.”

“He _did_ get shot helping us out,” said Nicky. “I vote that he can stay.”

“Exy and I will always welcome anyone in need,” said Wymack.

“He deserves a chance for redemption,” said Renee.

“And I deserve _not_ to be mind cleansed for harbouring a fugitive,” said Allison. “That’s four votes yes and four votes no. It’s up to you, Minyard.”

“I’ll get back to you,” said Andrew. “I want to ask him a question first.”

“He is still in the cell he was assigned, attempting to teach a DRD what appears to be some sort of… fetching game,” said Wymack.

“That sounds adorable,” cooed M’Att. “Are you sure you don’t want to keep him?” he said beseechingly to Dan.

She wavered a little. Andrew paid no mind, already heading up to the cellblock.

Neil looked up sharply when Andrew entered his room. “So? What’s the consensus? Am I being chucked out the airlock?” he asked.

“Split evenly about whether to let you stay or to dump you at the first opportunity,” said Andrew. “I have the deciding vote.”

Neil’s expression turned seductive again. “And you want to know what I can offer?”

“I want you to tell me the truth.”

“Truth is subjective.”

Andrew pinned him with a stare. “Where were you when Lola was killed?”

Neil paused and lowered his eyes for a moment. When he looked up to meet Andrew’s gaze he wore a sharp, cruel smile.

“Did you know that Nebari mental cleansing isn’t reversible?” he asked.

“Seth’s bomb—”

“Did nothing. There have been countless studies by my people’s foremost scientists and they all agree: the brain is so damaged by the process of mental cleansing that there’s no way to undo it.”

“Maybe those scientists are just supporting your government’s propaganda.”

“Some of them, sure,” said Neil carelessly. “I can guarantee that not all of them are.”

“Why did Hawking attack Kevin and take control of the ship? Splicing Exy’s synapses like he did; only a Peacekeeper who’d spent a lot of time on Leviathans would know how to do that.”

“I don’t know the exact science, but even though mental cleansing erased his memories he was still able to walk and talk and feed himself so he had _some_ form of memory. He could still perform all the skills he’d had before, he just couldn’t remember how he got those skills. All his own wants and desires were obliterated, leaving only one thing in his mind: a strong desire to serve the Nebari. As soon as Lola died he would have seen you as enemies.” Neil shrugged. “Kevin only assumed he was guilty for her death when he turned hostile.” He rolled his head back, baring his burn-scarred throat. “What now? Am I no longer welcome on your ship of upstanding moral individuals?”

Andrew regarded him silently. “Wymack,” he said, touching his communicator. “Tell the others that Neil can stay.”

Neil’s eyes sharpened, clearly surprised at Andrew’s words. “Why?”

Andrew cast about for something to say. He wasn’t quite sure of the answer himself. “I think you might make things interesting,” he eventually said.

Neil smirked. “Interesting isn’t necessarily a good thing.”


	4. Chapter 4

Kevin blearily examined his datapad. When he’d asked for paper, he’d only gotten blank stares. It still felt strange for him to do calculations without scrawling them all over notebooks. For months now, he’d been poring over the data he was able to extract from his module, trying to figure out how to recreate his trip through the wormhole.

He yawned widely. Caffeine was something this part of the universe didn’t seem to have. Caffeine, alcohol, or chocolate. Life was barely worth living without those things.

Allison loudly stomped into the centre chamber. The majority of Exy’s passengers were already there eating breakfast. Even Neil was present, although he sat apart from the rest of them and watched them distrustfully. Only M’Att, Dan, and Andrew were absent.

“I’m happy for them, you know I am,” said Allison, slamming her way through the storage containers, “but my room is _right next to theirs_. Couldn’t they have sex more quietly?”

Kevin had no idea who she was talking about. He wasn’t sure if no one had bothered to tell him about a relationship between two of his crewmates or if he simply hadn’t noticed. It wouldn’t be the first time; he’d often been accused of being self-centred and obsessed to the point of obliviousness.

“They were imprisoned for a long time,” said Renee. “And both Luxans and Illanics are monogamous pair bonding species. It makes sense that they’d get together.”

“I would be fine as long as I was also all loved up,” huffed Allison.

“You’ve been having regular sex with Renee since we escaped,” said Nicky. “I know because _her_ room is right beside mine.”

“That’s different,” said Allison, waving a hand. “It’s purely physical. Dan and M’Att are all stupidly in love.”

“Do Interions not fall in love?” asked Kevin.

“Sure we do,” said Allison. “But usually not until later in life. For the young, sex is casual and meaningless until we decide to settle down. Then we form four-to-six member pods.”

“So you’re polyamourous bisexuals?” Kevin asked with interest. He realized that he hadn’t yet bothered to learn anything about his companions’ cultures, which was a major oversight on his part. To be fair, though, he’d been busy trying to stay alive while acclimating to his drastically new surroundings.

“For the most part,” replied Allison. “I’m sure Interions with different sexual or romantic orientations exist. What about humans?”

“We’re mostly culturally monogamous heterosexuals, although different sexualities are becoming more visible and accepted,” said Kevin. “I’m bisexual, personally.” He turned to Renee. “What about Delvians?”

“We don’t form family units or romantic partnerships at all. All of us have ovules and are able to produce pollen. When we decide to reproduce, we either ask a friend or go to a pollen bank, since self-fertilization is taboo. Then we plant our seed-daughter and she’s left to make her own way once she fully germinates, which takes about ten cycles.”

“Pollen?” echoed Kevin, wondering if his translator microbes were screwing something up. “Seed?”

“Delvians are evolved from flora, not fauna like most other advanced species.”

“Flo— you’re a plant?” sputtered Kevin.

“Yes,” said Renee with a patient smile. “I have xylem and phloem and lignin instead of veins and arteries and bones. That is why my skin is blue; I am able to photosynthesize.”

“Plants are green,” said Kevin weakly.

Allison gave him a strange look. “Have you seen any green plants since you’ve been here?”

Kevin had to stop and think but he realized she was correct. On all the planets he’d visited the sparse vegetation he’d seen was blueish, not green. His brain felt like mush.

“Delvians are acceptable, but the rest of you body breeders are disgusting,” said Seth. “Hynerians have the right idea. Females lay eggs, males fertilize them, and that’s that.”

“Yeah, that doesn’t sound disgusting at all,” said Nicky dryly. “I don’t know anything about my mother’s people, but bisexual Sebaceans are almost unheard of. It’s about a fifty-fifty split between homo- and heterosexuals.”

“That doesn’t make any evolutionary sense,” said Kevin.

“Sebaceans have been using artificial breeding programs for centuries,” said Nicky. “Outside of the Peacekeepers, they tend to form monogamous pairs, but all women must undergo genetic screening of their fetuses before their pregnancies can be induced.”

“Induced?”

“Sebacean women can store fertilized embryos in their uteruses for up to seven cycles. They have to undergo a medical procedure to make it start to divide and grow. That mutation was introduced so that female soldiers wouldn’t be burdened with children unless they were on a breeding rotation.”

“Yuck,” said Allison.

“What about Nebari, Neil?” asked Renee kindly.

“Asexual,” said Neil shortly.

“That makes even _less_ evolutionary sense,” griped Kevin. He paused. “Unless you propagate asexually or clonally?”

“Nope,” said Neil. “We reproduce sexually. Honestly, natural selection should have weeded us out long ago.” He shrugged. “I know some Nebari never have sex except for reproductive purposes. On top of our naturally low sex drives, it’s taboo in Nebari society to have sex outside of bonded couples or even to speak about it.”

“You’re talking about it right now,” said Allison.

“I figured the whole being-captured-to-be-mind-cleansed might have clued you in that I don’t always conform to Nebari societal expectations.”

“Nebari don’t have casual sex?” asked Nicky.

“Most don’t want to and those that do usually get punished.”

“Punished how?”

“How do you think?” said Neil disdainfully. “Mental cleanse.”

“Your people are terrifying,” said Kevin.

“I thought we’d already established that,” said Neil.

“To be fair, the Peacekeepers are pretty terrible, too,” said Allison. “I cannot _wait_ to go home.”

“What’s stopping you?” asked Neil.

“Our lack of star charts,” said Renee. “We don’t know where our homes are in relation to where we are. And we’re all from Peacekeeper-controlled space. It’s dangerous for us to return there.”

“Have you been to see Namtar yet?” asked Neil. He didn’t elaborate.

After waiting for him to continue, Allison huffed, “Please consider our puzzled expressions requests to explain yourself.”

“I’ve only heard rumours, so as far as I know he’s nothing but a conman,” said Neil, “but I’ve heard that he’s a genetic researcher who can pinpoint someone’s planet of origin by taking a DNA sample.”

“We already know our planets of origin,” said Seth.

“Pinpoints the planet of origin on a holographic galaxy map,” said Neil.

“He has a map of the galaxy?” breathed Renee.

Neil shrugged again. “As I said, I have no idea how accurate the rumours about him are.”

“Where is he?” demanded Allison.

“An asteroid not far from here,” said Neil. “It has a fairly large trading bazaar.”

“You know where it is?” asked Nicky.

“I’m not the one who’s lost,” said Neil. “I’ve been all around this region of space.”

“Maybe you’re not as useless as we originally thought,” allowed Allison.

“Such high praise,” said Neil, rolling his eyes.

* * *

Kevin followed the others into Namtar’s laboratory. M’Att, Dan, Renee, Allison, and Seth were all looking for directions home; Nicky was looking for information about his mother’s people. Kevin just wanted to figure out where in the universe he was.

He listened as patiently as he could as Namtar described the DNA sampling techniques he used, noping out as soon as a needle to the eye was mentioned. He turned tail and headed to the nearby lounge where Andrew and Neil had gone, neither of them willing or able to return to where they’d been born.

“You’re back early,” noted Andrew, drinking something out of a tall glass. Neil wasn’t paying attention, his eyes rapt on a card game that was happening in the back corner of the lounge.

“There’s no way he has human DNA in his vast collection,” said Kevin.

“And…?” said Andrew, since he was aware that that fact hadn’t stopped Kevin from going there in the first place.

“And he wanted to stick a needle in my eye,” said Kevin shuddering. “So now I’m one of you: homeless.”

“You still have a home,” said Neil. “You want to go back to it, even. Get back to us when you can’t go home because your own people want to kill you.” He raised his own glass to Andrew. “Here’s to the outcasts,” he toasted. Andrew raised his glass in return. Neil took a swallow of his drink, grimaced at the taste, and pushed his glass away.

“The odds of me finding a way home are minuscule,” argued Kevin. “It’s times like these when I wish you guys had vodka. What are you drinking, anyway?”

“Fellip nectar,” said Andrew. “It’s the alcoholic fermented—”

“Alcoholic?” interrupted Kevin, stealing Neil’s abandoned drink and taking a big whiff. It smelled vaguely yeasty. He took a sip and his eyes widened. “Beer? Why didn’t you tell me there was beer here?”

“Beeeer,” repeated Neil slowly. “Was that it? Beeer?”

“Stop that,” said Andrew. “Don’t encourage him to use words that no one else understands.”

“I like languages,” said Neil. “I might as well learn a new one while I have the chance.”

“What possible use could speaking Human be?” asked Andrew.

“English!” said Kevin in annoyance.

“He wants to go back to his planet, doesn’t he? I might still be on Exy when he manages it and get to visit. They don’t have translator microbes and it’s easier to trick people when you speak the language,” said Neil. “Anyway, I’m going to go double my credits by playing pazaak. I want something to eat that’s not food cubes. Be back in a bit.”

“How can you be sure you’ll win?” asked Kevin.

“ _Obviously_ I’m going to cheat,” said Neil, getting up and leaving their table.

“He is far more trouble than he’s worth,” grumbled Kevin.

“Hmmm,” said Andrew, his gaze following Neil to the shadowy corner where the gambling was taking place.

“I wouldn’t want to set him loose on Earth.”

“Speaking of Earth,” said Andrew, “you realize that you can’t go home until your fulfill your promise to me.”

“You could come with me?” tried Kevin.

“To a planet filled with billions of you?” Andrew's expression was quite clear on what he thought about that prospect.

“You never know. Maybe you’ll find someone there who you click with.”

“Click?” repeated Andrew, sounding annoyed.

“Yeah, you know, instant attraction? Someone who you’re drawn to? Haven’t you ever met anyone like that?”

Andrew’s eyes involuntarily travelled to the back corner of the lounge. “Yes. But I didn’t let it… it was only for a moment.”

Kevin followed Andrew’s eye line. “Who, Neil?” he asked. He supposed Neil was attractive, albeit in a very alien way. He chastised himself. It was not attractive to be _more_ xenophobic than the person who had been raised by literal space fascists.

“In the beginning I thought he was. Interesting,” said Andrew, sounding like he was forcing the words out. “But I don’t anymore,” he added quickly.

“Of course not,” said Kevin. Inside he was jumping for joy. This gossiping about crushes was the kind of conversation that happened between friends. Andrew considered him a friend! Kevin had never been one for empathy or gossip, but he could try. “It would be fine if you still did, you know.”

“He’s an alien; Peacekeepers don’t.”

“I know,” said Kevin. “But you’re not a Peacekeeper anymore, are you?”

“I want to stop talking about this.”

“Okay,” said Kevin, knowing that his expression was unbelievably smug. “I know having feelings might be strange—”

“How is that not talking about it?” grumbled Andrew. “Besides, there are no feelings. It’s purely physical. If he were Sebacean it would be encouraged.”

“What, really? I thought Peacekeepers weren’t allowed.”

“Sex is a physical need; less important but no less real than the way we need food or water. Peacekeepers are expected to recreate with others to satisfy our needs. It’s only love that is discouraged, which is not a problem for me. I do not feel emotions.”

“Sure you don’t,” muttered Kevin. “Trust you Peacekeepers to take something like sex and make it regimented and mundane, like brushing your teeth.”

Andrew cocked his head in confusion.

“Using a dentic,” Kevin corrected. He’d been appalled when he’d learned that oral care was performed by small larvae-like organisms, but the lack of toothpaste and toothbrushes had driven him to trying it. It still made his stomach squirm to put one in his mouth, but they did a good job cleaning his teeth and somehow left behind a minty flavour which he was never, ever going to question.

“It is unfathomable to me that your species attaches so many emotions to such a routine activity,” shrugged Andrew.

“Let’s agree to disagree,” said Kevin, pulling out his datapad. He wasn’t about to badger Andrew to keep talking; he’d already said far more than he’d been expecting. He became enmeshed in his calculations, completely losing track of time.

Neil eventually returned, carrying a plate of some kind of cooked insect. Kevin kept his eyes on his datapad.

“That’s never going to work,” said Neil, munching loudly. “You’re missing the spacetime coefficient and at least two variables. You’re more than an order of magnitude off.”

“What?” asked Kevin, blinking back to awareness.

“Here,” said Neil, taking the datapad and making a couple of corrections that solved the equations that Kevin had been working on for months— for a quarter cycle, he reminded himself.

Kevin gaped at Neil. “You know about wormholes?”

“Only the basics,” shrugged Neil. “I learned in school, just like everyone else. I’ve always been pretty good at math.”

“Nebari learn basic wormhole theory in school?” asked Andrew. “Do they have access to wormhole technology?”

“Not that I know of,” said Neil. “It was part of the theoretical quantum physics unit.”

“But this is excellent!” said Kevin. “Why didn’t you mention this sooner? You might not be useless after all!”

“Do you people think that’s a compliment?” asked Neil. “It’s not a compliment.”

“You can help me find a way home!” said Kevin excitedly.

“I’ll leave you two brainiacs to your science,” said Andrew, getting up. “I’m just the guy with the big gun.”

Neil glared daggers at him as he left the table.

“Look, Kevin,” he said, turning back to Kevin with exaggerated patience. “I don’t know more than I already showed you. It wouldn’t be smart to put your hopes on me.” He grinned. It was sharp and self-deprecating. “I’m not reliable.”

“I’m not sure what discussing wormhole theory with me has to do with your reliability, and I don’t care,” said Kevin. “We’ve got to get started right away.”

Neil pushed himself up from the table and stalked away.

“Hey, wait, where are you going?” called Kevin, downing the rest of his fellip nectar and chasing after Neil. He caught up to him and grabbed his arm. Neil shook him off.

“I’m not… I’m not a _team player_ , alright? I get by on my own.”

“Well, tough. You’re on our crew now. We had a vote and everything.”

“Oh, really?” said Neil. “Which way did you vote?”

Kevin remained silent.

“Exactly,” huffed Neil. “Besides, voting not to space me isn’t the same as accepting me as one of you. Not that I even _want_ to be one of you,” he added. “Right now it suits me, but I’ll be gone before you know it.” He turned and strode away again. Kevin hurried after him.

“With your knowledge you could be a real asset,” argued Kevin. “You could stay.”

“Staying still is asking to be killed,” spat Neil. “I can’t _stay_ anywhere.”

“Exy’s a spaceship. It’s okay to stay in one place as long as that place is a moving target.”

“I, I can’t,” said Neil, sounding helpless. “This is temporary.”

“I understand that you’re scared—”

“You don’t understand anything! The woman who had custody of me, Lola? Remember her? I’ve known her since I was a child. Every person I’ve ever known, ever loved? Are either dead or want to break my brain so badly that I’ll stop being me. What could you possibly understand about that?”

Kevin stumbled to a stop. “Sometimes,” he said in a strangled voice, “I picture returning to Earth. I’d get to go to my mum’s old house, walk around where my grandma raised me, see all the sights and smell all the smells and hear all the sounds that are comforting and familiar. And then I think— what if everyone was dead? What if it takes me so long, or there’s a weird spacetime thing going on, or I bring the Peacekeepers to Earth’s doorstep, and all the people I cared about were lying there, dead. What would it be like to go home then?”

Neil looked away. “Maybe you understand a little,” he said grudgingly. “It doesn’t change anything. Not everyone is as lucky as you.”

“Lucky?” said Kevin. “You’d categorize me as _lucky_?”

“I mean, sure, you got shot through a wormhole, but you had a soft landing.”

“A _soft_ — I’m being hunted by a military commander!”

“Honestly, you had _one_ bad solar when you arrived,” said Neil. “Then you got accepted into safety on a ship by— well, not friends. Allies. And you somehow managed to convince Andrew to leave his people and offer you protection. Do you not realize how much worse it could have been? I have been running, _alone_ , for cycles.”

“Then why are you fighting so hard against the fact that I’m telling you to stay? You could have allies and a safe ship, too.”

“For how long? What happens when it turns out I don’t have the knowledge you need so I’m not as useful as you think I should be?”

They’d kept walking while arguing, passing the line of market stalls. Now they found themselves at a dead end.

Neil sighed and turned toward Kevin. “I’m just saying, don’t get your hopes up.”

“Maybe I can help you with your problems,” said a woman, coming out from the shadows where Kevin could have sworn no one had been only seconds previously. She was tall and humanoid— Sebaceanoid— but her eyes were yellow and her teeth were pointed.

Neil’s eyes narrowed. “No,” he said.

“Our problems are a little out of your league,” added Kevin.

“You don’t know anything about me, Kevin Day.”

Kevin paused. Neil tugged on his arm. “She’s a grifter, Kevin,” he said. “Don’t listen to her.”

“But I know so many things,” she said, smiling to show her unnerving teeth. “I know that Kevin is from far away, that he worries about being caught, that he’s dying to get home.”

“All easy enough to learn through eavesdropping,” said Neil. He again pulled Kevin’s arm. “Let’s go.”

“I also know _your_ name, _Abram_.”

This time it was Neil who froze, transfixed. “That’s a neat trick,” he said, his tone forcibly light. “But we’ll be going now.”

“It’s not a trick. I know who your father is; I know what you’re running from.” She turned to Kevin. “I know that you skipped the third grade, that you never met your father, that you lost your virginity to a girl named Karen Shaw in the back of a pickup truck.”

“How…?” said Kevin.

“ _Kevin,_ let’s go,” hissed Neil, now using more force to try to pry him away from the woman.

“I can get you back to Earth,” said the woman.

“You can…?” said Kevin, taking a step toward her, dragging Neil along with him.

“Didn’t anyone ever teach you not to trust strangers?” griped Neil.

“If there’s a chance—”

“There’s isn’t.”

“You sound certain about that, Poppet,” cooed the woman.

“I know your type,” said Neil. “You’re nothing but a liar.”

“Frankly, I’m insulted,” she said. “You know I _was_ going to offer to kill your father but if you don’t want my help…” She took a step away from them.

“Wait!” said Kevin desperately, lunging at her. “Can you send me home?”

He reached to grab her arm. As soon he made contact with her, his vision was filled with a strange red light. When it cleared, they were no longer in the bazaar, they were in a plush room. It was small and intimate, with heavy carpet and exotic decorations. There did not seem to be any exits. A couch knocked into the backs of his knees, forcing him to sit.

Neil was beside him, looking around warily. “You _couldn’t_ walk away, could you?” he huffed in annoyance.

The woman was also present, sitting nearby in a squashy armchair.

“What did you do?” Kevin asked her.

“The description of what I did defies translators,” she said. “Suffice it to say: I wished you here.”

Neil glared at Kevin. “I hate you,” he said.

The woman shot them both a shark-like smile. “I have so much planned for you two!”

Neil’s glare didn’t waver. “So much.”

* * *

Andrew was browsing absentmindedly, not paying much attention to his surroundings except to glare forbiddingly at those who looked like they may try to speak to him. It was better than listening to Kevin wax rhapsodically about wormholes for the umpteenth time. He wondered exactly why he was keeping up the ruse that he needed Kevin in any way. Truthfully, he knew it was because he felt unmoored without a mission, without purpose. At least keeping Kevin alive gave him something to focus on. When Kevin inevitably tripped into another wormhole that took him home, Andrew would find something else to do. If Neil hadn’t run by then maybe Andrew would offer him protection. He was pretty tragic; Andrew suspected that it would require a lot of his attention to keep him from getting into trouble.

Violence was what he was good at. Protection came naturally. It helped him feel somewhat stable in the strange, shifting existence he had mistakenly stumbled into.

“Andrew, there you are,” said Nicky, arriving at his side. “Are you finished? Dan and M’Att went to pick up some supplies, but we’re almost ready to head back to Exy.”

“Did you get your charts?” asked Andrew.

“Nope, the guy was a fraud,” said Nicky ruefully. “He sold us a crystal that purportedly held the maps we wanted, but Dan and Renee did some preliminary analysis and it was designed to erase Exy’s memory banks and give him a backdoor into our systems.”

“I hope you didn’t pay too much for it.”

Nicky grimaced. “We did, but Allison got our money back. She melted all the metal in his lab.”

Andrew shuddered. He’d previously known of the Interions’ ability to melt metal with their sonic screams but the first time he’d heard Allison scream had still been shocking and incredibly unpleasant.

“I guess Neil was right when he told us that everyone on this asteroid was untrustworthy,” sighed Nicky. “Where is he anyway? I thought the two of you were together.”

“I left him and Kevin when they started talking about wormholes.”

“Kevin is _so boring_ ,” groaned Nicky. “I hope that we’ll come across a wormhole if only so we can send him home and _never have to hear about wormholes again_.”

Andrew led Nicky into the lounge where he’d left Kevin and Neil. They were nowhere to be seen.

“Kevin,” he said, touching his communicator. “Neil,” he tried next when there was no answer. The static that greeted him wasn’t a good sign; it meant that they hadn’t simply wandered off.

“The two men who were here, which way did they go?” he asked the bartender, flipping him a couple credits. The man pointed helpfully. Andrew headed in the direction he’d indicated, Nicky on his heels. It had been _less than an arn_ since he’d left them alone. How could they possibly have had enough time to get into trouble?

He followed the line of stalls, periodically asking if anyone had seen people matching Kevin and Neil’s descriptions. The vendors kept pointing him onward until he reached a dead end, where Kevin and Neil were slumped on the ground, unconscious.

Nicky gasped and rushed to Neil’s side, rolling him and checking for a pulse. Andrew ignored the relief he felt when it became evident that the two of them were still alive.

“What’s wrong with them? Were they attacked? Poisoned?” said Nicky fretfully.

“They’re as good as dead,” said a small voice from close by. A young girl was watching them with big eyes.

Andrew got up from where he was kneeling at Kevin’s side and pushed her against the wall. He was taller than her, which allowed him the rare opportunity to use his height advantage to intimidate. “What do you know?” he asked.

“They were taken by Ferdinand,” she said in a whisper. “She will feed on their souls and then come for you. No one can stop her.”

“What do you mean, ‘feed on their souls’?” asked Andrew. He’d never heard of anything that could do that.

“She’s a soul vampire, a spiritual incorporeal being of immense power. You can’t fight her.”

“I can try,” growled Andrew. “Nicky, get Renee. We may need her hand-wavey mysticism for this one.”

* * *

Kevin’s disorientation from— had they teleported?— their sudden displacement was starting to fade a little.

“You have a matter transporter?” he asked in excitement. “Can you use it to send me home?”

“Ahhh, no,” said the woman. “Technically your physical bodies have not moved.”

“What do you mean?”

“She means she’s frelling with our minds,” said Neil.

“What, like magic?” sputtered Kevin. “There’s magic? You mean to tell me that there’s _space magic_ and _nobody has bothered to mention it_?”

Neil ignored him, keeping his eyes on the woman. His expression had shifted from flat and angry to an enticing, almost seductive look, familiar from when he’d first come onboard and was trying to sweet-talk his way out of custody. “What do you want with us?” he asked.

“Entertainment, of course.”

“You expect us to provide this for you? Without telling us your name?”

The woman’s smile was full of pointed teeth. “My name is Ferdinand,” she said. “You’re much more agreeable than you were before.”

“Maybe we could work something out,” said Neil silkily. “I could give you what you want if you let us go.”

“Don’t bother with your silver-tongued lies,” she said. “I can see into your mind, remember. That’s why I wanted the two of you: so lost, so afraid. Both running from someone and desperate to find home.”

“I’m not running from anyone,” said Kevin at the same moment that Neil said, “I don’t have a home.”

Ferdinand chuckled, their disagreement with her statement seemingly causing her joy. She addressed Neil first. “Just because you don’t currently have one doesn’t mean you don’t want one,” she said. She then turned to Kevin, “Are you sure you’re not running? There’s a Peacekeeper Command Carrier that seems intent on finding you. The Captain wants you quite badly.”

“I don’t know why,” said Kevin.

“We could ask him if you wish,” said Ferdinand. She paused and hummed thoughtfully. “Yes, that’s an excellent idea.”

She disappeared for a heartbeat, before returning in the company of a man dressed in a Peacekeeper uniform. He was short— not as short as Andrew but not taller than Neil— with jet black hair and beetle black eyes. He stumbled, disoriented.

“What have you done? Where have you taken me?” he demanded, glaring up at Ferdinand. “I demand you take me back to my ship _at once_. I will not stand for this!”

“Relax, Captain, and take a seat,” said Ferdinand. “Someone here wants to speak with you.”

The man, who could only be the Captain Moriyama that he’d heard about, pinned Kevin with a look. “You,” he breathed out in realization, his anger morphing into an expression of hunger. “I’ve been looking for you.”

Kevin shrank back, frightened of the madness lurking in Captain Moriyama’s eyes.

“This will never do,” said Ferdinand. She clapped her hands and Captain Moriyama was suddenly seated on a couch across from where Kevin and Neil were sat. “Let’s chat, shall we?” she asked, her eyes shining.

* * *

Renee had her eyes closed and seemed to be listening closely to Kevin’s unconscious form.

“This is not good,” she said needlessly, settling back. “The person who has ensnared them is incredibly powerful.”

“I’m sure I can find a gun that will kill them,” said Andrew. Guns had never let him down before.

“I’m afraid it won’t be that simple,” sighed Renee. She looked up at where M’Att and Dan were hovering nearby. “Take them back to the ship for safety; they’re far too vulnerable here.”

Andrew had known that Delvian Pa’us had mental powers, but as he’d never served anywhere where he’d come across Delvians, he’d shelved the knowledge. It sat, unused, with the other facts that had been shoved into him during the extensive Peacekeeper training: Scarrans could produce a heat ray that incapacitated Sebaceans; Sub-Officer Dacon had once given his life to stop the Venek horde; bioloids were near-perfect mechanical clones of people; there were six forbidden cargoes that Leviathans couldn’t carry; Delvian priests practiced weird plant magic.

He’d asked Renee more about it when they’d become allies. He was pragmatic and knew that learning all his shipmates abilities was imperative, but Renee was the only one who deigned to talk to him, the others still sore at his Peacekeeper heritage and unwilling to give any information to someone who was potentially an enemy. She’d told him only in basic terms: she could share pain, either taking or giving pain to others, she could join minds with another person to share thoughts and memories, she could confuse the weak-minded, make it so they couldn’t see her even when looking straight at her.

“I have to walk a fine line,” she’d told him. “Pa’us who use their powers for evil are susceptible to succumbing to madness. Everything must be performed in balance.”

Now, she looked troubled. “Ferdinand is not corporeal. Your weapons won’t hurt her.”

“What can hurt her?” asked Andrew.

“I can,” she replied. “But I worry at the cost.”

“You’re so squeamish about violence that you’ll let Kevin and Neil die?”

“You cannot understand; Peacekeepers use violence for everything.”

“While you are not capable of such cruelty?”

“I once was,” she said. “In my youth I was recruited by a group of anarchists. There was a man among them who undertook my training. He taught me to cause pain and kill without mercy or regret. _He_ may have regretted it when I turned my powers against him. By the time I was arrested, I was so lost in my madness that it may have been more merciful to kill me. But there was a woman whose cell was not far from mine on the first labour camp I was sent to. She taught me control my anger and negativity and use my powers to help others. Fighting someone like Ferdinand, it’s about intent. I have to want to do harm, to cause pain, to be cruel. I am not sure I am capable of it; I have evolved past that.”

“Evolved? It sounds more like you’ve repressed that part of yourself,” said Andrew. “You’re hiding from your past.”

“I know the damage that I am able to cause. If I start down this path I may never return.”

“You wish to use you powers to help others,” he said. “Kevin and Neil need your help.”

“I know what I _must_ do,” she admitted. “I had just hoped that another solution would present itself.”

“Balance is important, you said. You have been sanctimonious since we escaped; surely you've worked up enough good will to off an—” he sighed deeply, feeling silly “—evil soul vampire.” Honestly, give him a gun and a target instead of this mystical and spiritual garbage. “I'm sure you can destroy her.”

“Yes,” said Renee. “That is what frightens me.”

* * *

“Tell me, Captain Moriyama— may I call you Riko?” Ferdinand interrupted herself and then continued speaking, not waiting for a response. “Riko, why are you so interested in Kevin?”

“He has knowledge that I want,” said Riko, sneering. “Peacekeepers get what we want.”

“I don't!” argued Kevin. “I have no idea how to summon or control wormholes.”

“And what do you say to that?” asked Ferdinand, her eyes gleaming. She looked rapt.

“That he's lying. The secrets you possess _will_ be mine.”

“And if he's hypothetically telling the truth?” said Ferdinand.

“You _know_ I'm telling the truth!” protested Kevin.

“It doesn't matter. I've staked too much on this; he won't escape me again. If he doesn't know anything then we'll strap him down and cut him open and take out all of his memories one by one until we find the answers we want.”

Kevin couldn't breathe. He dug his fingernails into his palms; now was _not_ the time for a panic attack.

“You think no one will object?” asked Neil, speaking up unexpectedly.

“No one is speaking to you, lesser species,” said Riko dismissively.

“Your arrogance is unwarranted. Were we lesser when we were blowing the Terrapin into pieces?”

Riko's eyes snapped to Neil and his lip curled. “Nebari.”

“That's right. We're far scarier than you will ever be. We want the wormhole technology so Kevin's under our protection. Keep away unless you also want to be turned into floating debris.”

Kevin wasn't exactly sure what Neil was trying to accomplish but he was happy the Riko's angry glare was no longer focused on him.

“Peacekeepers get what they want,” repeated Riko. “I will never, _ever_ stop hunting you down.”

“Get used to hearing no,” said Neil. “No matter what you do, you are not getting Kevin. Let your frustration consume you; I hope you choke on it.”

Riko leapt off his couch, snarling at Neil, but Ferdinand caught him in a swirl of her red magic. She giggled and clapped her hands. “Oh, this is just getting good! Don't ruin it with physical violence,” she chided.

“This isn't your jurisdiction; you're not the biggest, baddest thing out here,” said Neil, making direct eye contact with the suspended Peacekeeper captain. “Go home.”

“Oh,” said Ferdinand, her giddy joy suddenly gone. Her brow wrinkled and she looked troubled. “That's strange.” With a flick of her hand, Riko disappeared.

She turned on Kevin and Neil. “ _Who_ did you bring with you?” she demanded.

“Me,” said Renee, materializing behind her. She grasped Ferdinand's head between her hands. Blue-white light flowed between them for several moments; all the while Ferdinand screamed in pain. Renee's face twisted in a grimace, and her eyes glowed red as Ferdinand disappeared in a shower of sparks. Renee faltered and Kevin rushed forward to keep her from collapsing.

“Are you alright?” he asked in concern.

She blinked multiple times as the red left her eyes, turning them back into their regular blue.

“I am still myself,” she said in relief.

* * *

“What did we learn?” said Neil condescendingly, shoving a food cube into his mouth.

After Renee’s rescue, they’d woken up in Exy’s medical bay, side by side, watched over by Dan and M’Att, and starving. Apparently the ‘magic’ or whatever it was had fed off their energy stores.

“She said she could send me home. I couldn’t ignore her; what if she’d been telling the truth?” said Kevin.

“So, nothing?” said Neil sarcastically. “What you learned was nothing?”

“Am I supposed to assume that everyone’s out to get me?”

“ _Yes_.”

“I can’t live that way.”

“So don’t,” said Neil. “There’s a convenient airlock over there.”

Kevin shot him an unimpressed look.

“This isn’t some magical fairy tale where everybody holds hands and sings songs and lives happily ever after,” said Neil. “The Uncharted Territories are a hard place to live. They’re filled with unsavoury types: those that have no desire to live in lawful places. Everybody wants something, nobody will help you in exchange for nothing, and everybody lies.”

“What about you?”

“I am not exempt from ‘everybody’.” Neil smiled his carelessly cruel smile that set Kevin on edge.

“You stood up to a Peacekeeper captain for me,” said Kevin. “You could have stayed silent; he didn’t notice you and he didn’t recognize your species.”

“Hopefully he’ll fly face-first into a Nebari host ship,” said Neil. “But with my luck I’m sure he’ll decide to come after me personally.”

“Of course he’s going to come after you!” said Kevin. “Did he seem rational and stable? It took you less than two minutes— two hundred microts,” he hastily corrected himself, “to make him leap out of his chair and attack you.” He shook his head. “How’s the target on your back feel?”

“Familiar,” said Neil wryly.

“Why’d you do it?”

“Didn’t you see the way Ferdinand reacted to our argument? She was feeding on our emotions. I wanted to rile him up, get her to consume him first to give our shipmates a chance to rescue us.”

“There’s no way you thought that they would save us,” said Kevin, remembering Neil’s claim that he got by on his own. “You wanted to protect me.”

“I didn’t.”

“You did. I told you that you could stay and you want to take me up on the offer.”

“I don’t,” said Neil, this time sounding less convinced.

“You can,” said Kevin. He let Neil stew on that for a couple moments. “Are you going to?”

Neil huffed and popped another food cube in his mouth. “Ask me again tomorrow.”


	5. Chapter 5

“Time for a meeting,” said Dan, striding into command where she’d called them all together.

“You’re not in charge of us,” said Seth.

“Precisely,” said Dan. “We’ve been aimless scavengers for long enough. We’re going to vote and decide our next course of action.”

“We need maps,” said Allison.

“We know,” said Kevin, in irritation. All the others seemed to talk about were maps. “All our actions so far have been in search of maps.”

“We need currency and supplies,” said Andrew. “Even if you find your precious maps it will take time to travel to all of your home planets.”

“And once we find the maps we’ll need some way to pay for them,” added M’Att.

“Why can’t we just keep scavenging? We’ve been pretty successful at it so far,” asked Nicky.

“Neil informs me that we’re heading into more inhabited territory,” said Dan. “There won’t be as many wrecks for us to pick apart.”

“What are our options?” asked Renee.

“We could head back the way we came,” said Dan. “Although, we’ll have to be very careful if we want to avoid both pirates and the Peacekeepers.”

“ _If_ they’re looking for us,” said Seth.

“They are,” said Kevin. “I told you what Captain Moriyama said.”

“In a dream,” snorted Seth.

“We’re not arguing about that again,” said Dan. “Renee says that his consciousness _was_ most likely present, so we’ll go with the assumption that he’s searching for us.”

“That was over thirty solars ago and we’ve seen no evidence of him since,” said Seth. “He’s probably given up and gone back home to Peacekeeper space.”

Dan rolled her eyes. “Because we’re just that lucky.” She got back on track. “Another idea is to head farther into the Uncharted Territories and look for work; Seth already has a line on a group that’s willing to pay us to haul cargo.”

“What kind of cargo?” asked M’Att.

“Unclear,” said Dan.

“You doubt me?” said Seth.

“A _lot_ of people have tried to kill us since we arrived here,” said Allison. “Caution probably wouldn’t hurt.”

“What other options are there?” asked Nicky.

“We could head in a direction that takes us closer to Nebari space—”

“No,” chorused everyone.

“—or follow a heading into an area of space that Exy’s sensors tell us is mostly empty.”

“Where there won’t be any credits or resources so we’ll most likely starve to death,” said M’Att.

“So our options are: Peacekeepers, Nebari, starving, or Seth’s stupid idea?” sighed Allison.

“I know it seems obvious, but as was pointed out I’m not the captain,” said Dan. “Anyone voting to do anything other than hauling some cargo?”

“I can still research wormholes while we’re doing that, so it’s fine,” said Kevin.

“Any actual objections?” said Dan. “Neil, you agree?”

“Why are you asking me?” said Neil. “I don’t get a vote.”

“Yes you do,” said M’Att. “We decided you could stay; that means you get a say as long as you’re here. We’re a democracy.”

“Which is why we spend so much time arguing and flying in circles,” said Andrew.

“We’re not about to start following _your_ commands,” grumbled Allison.

“We’d be much more efficient if we followed my plans,” said Andrew.

“And we’d murder everyone we came across,” said Dan.

“I mean… a lot of the people we’ve come across could use a good being murdered,” said Nicky.

* * *

Despite his expectations and lack of faith in the trustworthiness of Seth’s contacts, there were no problems loading the cargo onto Exy. Andrew watched the process suspiciously, his pulse rifle in his hands in case anyone made a wrong move. They didn’t. They loaded everything up quickly and provided half their promised pay and a destination where they could get the other half, and left.

Prying open the cargo containers showed that it was mainly raw materials for manufacturing— nothing that they could steal and use for themselves. Dan and M’Att both seemed shocked that he suggested doing so, which he couldn’t understand. If they could get more money by using it or selling it elsewhere, why shouldn’t they? They’d both shaken their heads in disapproval, but they were the only ones. He knew everyone else agreed with him.

Even though the cargo wasn’t toxic or hazardous, Kevin had a severe reaction to it. They had a medical bay but the only people with any sort of medical knowledge were Allison, who had degrees in biochemistry and xenobiology, and Renee, with her pain-sharing powers. Allison had examined Kevin, both of them complaining the whole time.

Kevin had something which he called a ‘head cold’ that, according to scans, wouldn’t affect the rest of them. Andrew had never heard of it (Peacekeepers did not have disease) but it seemed disgusting, as Kevin was leaking mucus and phlegm everywhere. The rest of them unanimously voted to confine him to his quarters until it went away.

“What do you mean you don’t have disease?” Kevin demanded when Andrew told him of this decision.

“We are born and bred on ships,” said Andrew. “We are given standard inoculations against all known destructive bacterial and viral matter, and if some new malicious organism is discovered, our scientists engineer a growth blocker to stop it from affecting our systems.”

Kevin stared at him, then sniffed as his nose started dripping. Andrew took a step away from him. “Do you… do you even understand how mind blowing that is?” said Kevin. “On Earth bacteria and viruses destroy crops, animals, people… and that just doesn’t happen here?”

“Why are you so eager to return to this Earth again?”

“It’s my home,” said Kevin helplessly. “Isn’t there anything you miss about your home?”

“Less incompetent crewmates,” said Andrew. Also certainty, but he wasn’t about to admit that to Kevin. His life had been much more straightforward when all he had to do was follow orders.

After convincing Kevin to quarantine himself, Andrew went about his self-assigned regular duties. He checked his weapons, making sure they were all functioning and loaded; he surveyed his Prowler and the transport pods to ensure that they were all in good repair and fully powered; he did his usual rounds around the ship, monitoring Exy’s systems. When he’d been a Peacekeeper soldier he would have considered this grots’ work; soldiers secured their own weapons, yes, but everything else was seen to by techs. Here, he preferred to look after his own equipment and double check that everything was working as it should, not trusting anyone else to do it properly.

He was just finishing up his rounds when Wymack told them to prepare for starburst. Andrew headed up to command.

“How many more jumps to our destination?” he asked Renee, who was keeping an eye on things. Too many starbursts in a short period of time was hard on the digestive system. Kevin was probably suffering and moaning unhappily. Good thing they’d confined him in his room.

“Three,” she replied apologetically.

“Exy requires several arns to replenish her energy stores before the next jump,” added Wymack through his holoclam.

“Where are we?” asked Andrew.

“Nowhere,” said Wymack. “Exy’s sensors can pick up very little in our immediate vicinity.”

“Anything unusual?” asked Renee.

“Electromagnetic radiation is elevated for no discernible reason,” said Wymack.

Renee brought up the readings on her console. “Yes, I see,” she said. “Strange, but it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Have Delvians never heard of tempting fate?” asked Andrew.

“Do Peacekeepers believe in something as mystical as fate?” was her rejoinder.

Kevin blearily stumbled into command. He was pale, shivering violently, and wrapped in a blanket.

“I thought I told you to stay in your room,” said Andrew.

“Wymack said there was electromagnetic radiation?”

“Why did you tell him?” Andrew asked Wymack’s holographic image.

“Commander Day has asked to be informed of any anomalous electromagnetic readings,” said Wymack. “I saw no reason not to.”

“There was elevated electromagnetic radiation before I got shot through the wormhole,” said Kevin, as always single-mindedly focused on getting home even when suffering from illness. “We need to take readings. My module—”

“Is in no shape for space flight,” said Andrew. Kevin’s primitive spacecraft (which was powered by _fossil fuels_ ) was basically a useless hunk of junk. Kevin had been upgrading and modifying it with Leviathan technology; however, it was still a work in progress.

“Neil and I modified the sensors on one of the transport pods,” said Kevin, changing tacks.

“ _Did_ you?” said Renee archly.

“Wymack said we could,” defended Kevin. “It can be used to take the readings I need.”

“You don’t know how to fly the transport pods,” Andrew pointed out.

“You do,” said Kevin. “We’re here for several hours.” Andrew gave him an unimpressed look. “Arns,” he corrected himself. “What else are you doing?”

“I am not getting into a small craft with you while you’re leaking fluids.”

“I— Neil! Neil will go with you.”

“Neil will what now?” Neil wandered into command. “Wymack said you demanded my presence, Kevin?” he said dryly.

“You know how to use the new sensors we put in the transport pod,” said Kevin.

“I do…” said Neil slowly.

“Andrew will fly the pod and you’ll take readings,” said Kevin. “We can compare the results against the data that I was able to collect before the wormhole opened.”

Neil shrugged. “Fine by me. I’ll be happy to put the vacuum of space between me and whatever plague is affecting you.”

“Andrew?” said Kevin pleadingly.

“I was convinced as soon as Neil pointed out that we’d be far away from you,” said Andrew. “Neil, meet me in the maintenance bay in a quarter arn.”

* * *

“There,” said Neil in satisfaction. “I’ve muted the communications. Kevin can’t bother us anymore.”

“You’ll have to teach me how to do that,” said Andrew.

“It won’t work when you’re both on Exy.”

“Pity.”

“Has he actually gotten worse lately or is it just that his attention is completely on me?”

“He has always been obsessed with returning to his useless planet.”

“I mean, I understand missing your home but he seems to be taking it to the extreme.”

“Do you? Miss your home?”

“Uh,” said Neil, squinting in thought. “No? Even if they didn’t want to kill me I wouldn’t want to return. Do you?”

Andrew thought about it, for some reason wanting to offer Neil something more substantial than the flippant answer he’d given Kevin when he’d asked a similar question. “I miss combat flying.”

“No family?”

“No,” said Andrew, forcibly pushing the thought of Aaron out of his mind. He’d destroyed any chance of a relationship between them cycles ago. “Peacekeepers don’t have family. Although we live in close quarters and are always one among many, we are meant to be an island unto ourselves. Much like you claim to be, we are built to be alone.”

Neil didn’t answer and they flew in silence for some time.

“Okay, we’re getting near the centre of the elevated radiation,” said Neil. “Hold it steady.”

As soon as he spoke the words, the pod lurched.

“Ha, ha,” said Neil.

“I didn’t do that,” said Andrew, checking his readouts. “Something’s pulling us in but I’m not getting any pulse-back soundings.”

“Impossible,” said Neil. “What’s pulling us? There’s nothing out here.”

“Something’s wrong,” said Andrew, as the pod began to vibrate violently. He tried to compensate, but the transport pod was big and lumbering and its manoeuvrability was a joke compared to his Prowler. The pod came to a sudden halt as if it had crashed into something, throwing Andrew out of the pilot’s chair. He curled into a ball to protect his head. Once everything settled down, he sat up carefully. He shook himself, dazed, and surveyed the pod.

There was a fair amount of damage; several consoles sparked in warning and a couple internal support beams were dangling dangerously. Neil was nearby, coallapsed unmoving in a heap, his limbs flung at haphazard angles.

“Neil,” Andrew said, then repeated himself more sharply when Neil didn’t respond. “Neil.”

Neil groaned and shifted, looking over at Andrew. He had trickles of blue blood running from both his temple and the corner of his mouth.

“I’m fine,” he said, blinking rapidly and gingerly prodding his lip.

“Are you sure?”

Neil grimaced. “My foot’s stuck,” he said, “Is there an axe?”

“There should be one in the emergency supplies. Why?” asked Andrew suspiciously.

“I’m going to cut my foot off,” said Neil.

Andrew gave him a look. “Oh, well, as long as you're being rational,” he said.

Neil rolled his eyes. “Just pass it over, would you?”

Andrew pulled himself over to the emergency supply kit and tossed Neil the small axe he found inside.

Neil started hacking away at whatever was pinning him in place. “What happened?” he asked.

“We hit something,” said Andrew, heaving himself off the floor and heading back to the pilot’s chair to look at the informational display.

“No kidding,” said Neil. “What did you manage to run us into? A giant, invisible planet?” He freed himself from the debris and rose, brushing himself off.

“There are no mass readings,” said Andrew, perplexed.

“There’s nothing out there.”

“That’s what I just said.”

“No,” said Neil, indicating a viewport. “I mean there’s _nothing_ out there. I can’t see the stars.”

“That doesn’t add up,” said Andrew, getting annoyed at the equipment which was clearly lying to him. “The sensors can’t pick anything up that could be blocking our view.”

Neil moved to a panel. “Comms aren’t working.”

“Did you break them earlier?”

“No, the comm relay is working fine. There’s just no signal.”

“None of this makes any sense. We’re not moving… no drift, no spin. We’re caught in place.”

“So we ran into something invisible, the pod’s damaged, we’re stuck, and we can’t call for help?” Neil summed up. The panel in front of him beeped. “Oh, and the calorics are flat-lined. We don’t have power.”

“But I made sure the batteries were filled before we left,” said Andrew, just as all the lights and consoles shut down, leaving them in the dark.

“Well, frell,” sighed Neil.

* * *

Kevin sat impatiently in command. He had refused to head back to his room, wanting to know the results from the readings that Neil and Andrew were taking. Renee hadn’t made him leave, smiling at him condescendingly as she went back to monitoring the consoles. They didn’t always need someone in command overseeing things (Wymack was perfectly capable of doing so) but Renee, Allison, and Dan tended to switch off monitoring duties in case of emergency.

“Wymack,” said Kevin, “send a message to the pod.”

“As I’ve already informed you, neither Andrew nor Neil are responding,” said Wymack. “Probably because you won’t stop incessantly calling them,” he added under his breath.

“I can’t help it, it’s scientific discovery! It’s so exciting and it could lead to a way back home. Plus, what if something happens to them?”

“Don’t be silly,” said Renee. “We’re in the middle of nowhere. Nothing’s going to happen to them.”

* * *

“Okay,” said Andrew. “I’ve prepared the emergency message buoy for launch, but I’m going to need some power to send it.”

Neil grumbled and muttered something that Andrew couldn’t quite decipher. It sounded suspiciously like, _feel free to fix it yourself_. He was holding a flashlight from the emergency supplies in his mouth and pointing it at a set of blueprints, while his hands were immersed in wires behind the main power control.

“These blueprints are terrible,” said Neil, shifting the flashlight out of his mouth.

“They look like gibberish to me,” agreed Andrew. “Reading them is techs’ work,” he added derisively.

“What happens if you crash your fancy Prowler? Don’t you need to know the basics of repair?”

“Of course not,” said Andrew. “I’m trained to fight and to secure another ship.”

“Well _now_ it would be helpful. You know, I don’t actually have any training doing this, not like Kevin. I like math and engineering, but I left home before I could ever study it formally. Everything I know was learned jerry-rigging something to keep us going.”

“‘Us’?” repeated Andrew. “I thought you were alone before this.”

Neil paused, caught. “I haven’t always been,” he admitted, then busied himself in his work again. “There,” he said, as the lights came back on, cutting off Andrew’s follow-up questions. “I’m pretty sure I’ve redirected power from the auxiliary systems.”

Andrew pressed the correct command sequence to deploy the message buoy. “Message buoy away.” He looked up to find Neil watching him.

“Now we wait?” Neil asked doubtfully.

Andrew shook his head. “While we have power we may as well try to punch through whatever’s got us trapped.”

Neil sighed and stood up. “I was afraid you’d say that. It’s probably going to hurt, isn’t it?” There was an ominous creak and one of the fuel lines that ran along the bulkhead directly above where Neil was standing detached. Andrew hurled himself forward, tackling Neil out of the way. He landed on top of him, staring down into his startled face.

Neil raised an eyebrow. “Comfortable?” he asked. “Should I get you a pillow?”

Andrew quickly got off of him and helped him to his feet.

“Bad news,” said Neil, surveying the upper bulkhead.

“What now?” sighed Andrew.

Neil indicated the pipe that had almost crushed him. “That’s a necessary component of the propulsion system.”

“That seems about right for how our solar has been going so far.”

“What should we do?”

Andrew looked around at the damaged pod. “The distress buoy got away,” he said slowly.

“You think we should just wait for Kevin and the others to come rescue us?” said Neil.

They gazed at each other for a beat.

“I’ll deal with propulsion,” said Neil.

“I’ll check environmentals,” said Andrew at the exact same time.

* * *

“Wymack, have you heard—” said Kevin.

“For the sixth time, no, I have not heard from the transport pod,” said Wymack wearily.

“Wait, Wymack, what’s that on long range sensors?” said Renee.

“It appears to be the pod’s emergency message beacon,” said Wymack after a slight pause.

Kevin glared at Renee, hackles rising. “You said the fact that they weren’t communicating meant there was nothing wrong!”

“I said _most likely_ there was nothing wrong,” corrected Renee. “What’s the message?”

“It’s from Officer Minyard,” said Wymack. “He reports that the pod’s caught in some kind of stasis field and that no starlight is visible. They’ve suffered extensive damage.”

“We have to go save them!” said Kevin.

“Without knowing what kind of stasis field they’re caught in? We could potentially get stuck in it ourselves,” said Renee. “Let’s not rush in blindly. Wymack, are Exy’s sensors picking up anything at the pod’s last known coordinates?”

“Only the elevated electromagnetic readings that I’ve already informed you about,” said Wymack.

“Call the others to command,” said Renee. “We need to discuss our options.”

* * *

“I’m not sure I can fix this,” said Neil in defeat, “and even if I could there’s no guarantee we can break free from what’s holding us. Do you think the message buoy has reached Exy yet?”

“Doesn’t matter,” said Andrew, wiping his brow. “The oxygen levels in the cabin are rising quickly. We’re dead unless they figure out how to get us out of here in less than an arn.”

Neil swore and came over to investigate. “It looks like the atmospherics mix line is crushed,” he reported.

“Can you fix it?”

“There’s a welding torch in the emergency supplies, so yes,” said Neil, but he didn’t sound happy.

“But…?”

“But I can’t turn on a welding torch in a O2-rich environment without causing an explosion.”

Andrew rubbed his forehead. He hated problem solving. Life had been so much simpler when he was told where to go and what to do and other people were responsible for fixing things.

“What if we depressurized?” he ventured.

“You mean vent the shuttle?” asked Neil. “Get into the suits and do the repairs that way?” He looked thoughtful. “We have an intact reserve tank so we could repressurize afterwards… it’s a long shot, but I guess probable death is better than certain death. I say we try it.”

Neil started more closely examining where he’d have to make his repairs, while Andrew headed over to get their emergency EVA suits.

“There’s a problem,” he said when he caught sight of them.

“What, another one?” whined Neil. “I’m going to punch Kevin if we survive this.”

“I’m not going to stop you,” said Andrew, holding up the two helmets that accompanied the suits. One of the faceplates was cracked, making it useless.

“Is that—”

“Yup,” said Andrew. “One of us is going to have to die.”

They stared at each other.

Andrew took a deep breath. It struck him that he didn’t actually want to die, which was a new feeling. He’d always been indifferent about his mortality before. “The medical kit is fully stocked. Standard Peacekeeper supply. There are kill shots and nerve shots in there.”

“Kill shots?” asked Neil.

“Designed to stop brain and heart function during battle triage,” explained Andrew. “Designed to stop _Sebacean_ brain and heart function,” he corrected. “The nerve shot will bring me back.”

“Andrew—”

“You’re the one who can actually fix the problem,” Andrew pointed out, cutting off whatever Neil was about to say. “And I don’t know if the shots will work on you. It has to be me.”

“You trust me to bring you back?” asked Neil.

“It seems I have little choice.”

“We could wait,” said Neil hesitantly. “See if anyone comes for us.”

“While the oxygen continues to rise? I’d rather never wake up from a kill shot than slowly die of oxygen toxicity,” said Andrew.

“How long can you last in vacuum?”

“Not long. Just over four hundred microts.”

“Four hundred microts to depressurize, fix the problem, repressurize, and bring you back?” said Neil. “Are you sure you don’t want to make this harder? Tie one arm behind my back or actually chop my foot off or something?” He exhaled. “You think this will work?”

Andrew shrugged. “You fixed the power but you couldn’t fix the propulsion. I put the odds of success at 50-50.”

“That’s… that’s _not_ how probability works,” said Neil.

“Sure it is,” said Andrew. “There are two options: success or failure. Therefore each one has a fifty percent chance of occurring.”

“I cannot wait until you say that to Kevin and his head explodes,” said Neil. There was a pregnant pause. “Right. Gotta kill you first before that can happen.”

They silently pulled their EVA suits on. Andrew found some loose cabling and secured himself in the pilot’s chair, not wanting to be thrown around by the depressurization. Neil approached once he’d tied himself in place, carrying both the kill shot and the nerve shot.

“Okay,” he said, visibly nervous. He moved to inject Andrew, before stalling. “Wait. Nebari believe— well, some Nebari; I’ve always thought it was complete dren— believe that when you die you travel to a peaceful place where everyone you’ve ever loved will be waiting for you.”

“Are you attempting reassure me? Even if that were true, nobody would be waiting for me.”

“I was just wondering if you had any similar beliefs.”

“Sebaceans believe that when you die you die. You go nowhere; you see nothing.”

“That is… oddly comforting,” said Neil before steeling himself.

“What are you so nervous about?” asked Andrew. “It’s not like you’ve never killed anyone before.”

“Are you sure you should be providing me incentive to _not_ bring you back?” said Neil, and injected Andrew before he could reply.

Andrew clenched his fists. He had been given kill shots during training and they were awful; leaving him conscious for much longer than seemed necessary. His lungs seized and he convulsed. The depressurization alarm was the last sound he heard before the darkness took him.

* * *

As Renee and Wymack explained Andrew and Neil’s predicament, Kevin noticed that Allison became increasingly tense, coiled like a snake.

“I’ve heard of something like this,” said M’Att thoughtfully. “I used to run with some guys who knew some _other_ guys who bragged about having a magna-drift mesh that they set up in out-of-the-way transit lanes to snare unsuspecting spacecraft.”

“These _other_ guys wouldn’t happen to have giant, black tattoos across half their faces, would they?” said Allison, her tone dripping with false sweetness.

“Yeah,” said M’Att, blinking in surprise. “Zenetan pirates.”

“Friends of yours, are they?” said Allison, still sounding sweet but that didn’t mask her anger since her hair was slowly changing to a bright red colour.

“No!” said M’Att. “I was just a drug smuggler.”

“A drug smuggler?” repeated Kevin. “You told me that you were all innocent!”

“It was only turbot leaf,” said M’Att. “It’s only because I’m a Luxan that the Peacekeepers imprisoned me instead of giving me a warning or a fine. And I certainly don’t belong in a lifer’s colony!”

“But you associated with the Zenetans,” said Allison.

“I never worked with them. Those guys were nasty.”

“Oh, I know,” said Allison. “They trap ships to loot them. And if anyone’s left alive after the initial collision, they sell them to Peacekeeper prisons in exchange for bounty.”

“Is that how you…?” said Dan delicately.

“Ended up here? Yes,” sneered Allison. “I was on a multi-civilization tour before I started my fourth degree.”

“Oh my God, you were taking a gap year in Europe,” muttered Kevin incredulously.

“My parental pod were all very against me leaving our planet. ‘The galaxy is full of criminals and vagabonds,’ they kept telling me.”

“It’s not like they were wrong,” said Nicky.

“This trip down memory lane is very heart wrenching but we have to do something about Andrew and Neil who are caught _right now_ ,” Kevin pointed out.

“Should we try to rescue them?” asked Dan.

“ _Of course_ we’re going to rescue them.”

Everyone stopped and stared, because it was Allison who had spoken.

“Even that blond monster doesn’t deserve to be sold into captivity,” she said defensively. “Ugh, what is this feeling?” She scrunched up her face unhappily.

“Empathy?” suggested Dan.

“Well, I don’t like it,” griped Allison. “Let’s save those two tiny drelks so I can go back to not feeling it.”

* * *

Andrew took a great, gasping breath. He felt as if he’d been hit by a transport pod. Even the hardest day in simulation training, when the instructors had been trying to break as many of them as possible, hadn’t made him feel so lousy. His chest ached and it felt as if his brain was hammering against the inside of his skull in an attempt to escape. Frell, he hated kill shots.

Neil was looking down at him, his black eyes expressionless.

“Sitrep?” croaked Andrew, before dissolving into a hacking cough. “Environmentals are fixed?”

Neil took a step back. “No,” he said. “I didn’t finish the repair.”

“What? Why not?”

“Your time was up.”

Andrew stared at him.

Neil avoided his gaze. “I estimate we have a little more than half an arn of usable air left.”

“Why would you do that?” Andrew wrapped his hand around the collar of Neil’s suit and tugged until Neil looked at him.

One of Neil’s shoulders raised slightly. He looked as bewildered as Andrew felt.

“You keep saying that you need no one; that you’re better on your own,” said Andrew. “That you prefer to live alone, survive alone. Die alone.”

“I don’t want to die alone,” said Neil so quietly that it was almost inaudible.

Andrew gave in; he may as well do what he usually pretended he didn't want if he was going to die soon. He dragged Neil down and leaned up to meet him. Just as their lips touched the transport pod shuddered.

“Is that…?” said Neil, pulling away. “Are we _moving_?” He stumbled over to a viewing port. “It’s Exy!” he said. “She’s pulling us in; we must be in her docking web.”

Andrew closed his eyes and shook his head. He was relieved that they'd live and it probably best that they’d been interrupted before anything actually happened.

The inertial dampeners were clearly damaged, leading to a very bumpy ride back into the docking bay. They were both already banged and bruised from the initial crash; Andrew grit his teeth and ignored the pain.

Kevin, still pale and overly sweaty, was waiting for them in the maintenance bay, excitedly bouncing on the balls of his feet. “It worked!” he said excitedly. “It was my idea! We ran a current through the defense screen and overloaded the field that was holding you.” He looked proud of himself, that for once he was not the dumbest person on board. “What about you?” he asked. “Did you get any readings of the electromagnetic radiation?”

Neil glanced at Andrew and then stalked forward to punch Kevin.

“Hey!” said Kevin angrily, cupping his chin. “If you hit me again…”

“You’ll what?” said Andrew tiredly.

Kevin pouted and crossed his arms. “So you _didn’t_ get any readings…?”

“I thought you were confined to your room,” said Neil.

“No more favours for a while,” added Andrew.

* * *

Andrew hovered outside of Neil’s quarters, watching him move around the room stiffly, noticeably sore from their ordeal.

“Oh, hi,” said Neil, catching sight of him and straightening. “Clean bill of health? Dying didn’t give you any nasty side effects?”

“All good,” said Andrew. “Listen, about what happened—”

“Heat of the moment,” said Neil, waving a hand dismissively. “I’m aware it wasn’t about me. I know Peacekeepers don’t, with aliens.”

“And I hear Nebari don’t at all.”

“Exactly,” said Neil. “It was a fluke. It’ll never happen again.”

“Good,” said Andrew, nodding but feeling oddly bereft. He turned to leave before pausing and slowly turning back to Neil. “What could I give you to convince you to stay?”

“What?” said Neil, blinking rapidly. “Why?”

“You’re not useless in a crisis,” hedged Andrew. “Your presence has made Kevin more tolerable lately. He told me what you did when the two of you were with Ferdinand. I could protect you, like I protect him.”

“And all you want in return is for me to agree to stay?” Neil’s tone was skeptical.

“That, and a truth.”

“Depends what truth,” said Neil, waving him on.

“Who is your father?”

Neil flinched. “Why do you ask?”

“Kevin said that Ferdinand taunted you about him.”

Neil swallowed and looked away. Andrew thought at first that he wouldn’t answer. “He’s a prominent member of the Nebari Establishment— the rulers of my people,” he said. “He’s sadistic, the type of person that mental cleansing was invented to eradicate, but he’s well-connected and he hides it well. My… rebellion is an embarrassment for him and he’s desperate to capture me; to prove that he’s so devoted to the Establishment that he’s willing to destroy his own son.”

“Give your back to me; if you agree to stay I’ll protect you from him.”

Neil snorted. “You can’t. What I want is this: if my father’s people ever get me, shoot me. A single shot between the eyes is a better fate than what they have in store for me.”

“I can do that,” said Andrew.

Neil looked relieved. “Then I’ll stay. For now.”

“You know, it says a lot about you that you find my willingness to kill you comforting,” Andrew remarked.

“Just…” Neil’s face took on a darkly amused cast. “Just make sure it’s a last resort, yeah? Try to shoot _them_ first.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains violence and murder, loss of autonomy, major character injury, non-con kissing, and references to past dub-con. As always, if any of this concerns you feel free to contact me for more information.

“There’s a ship on long range sensors,” reported Wymack. “It’s changed course to intercept us.”

“Hostile?” asked Dan from her place in command. “Call everyone here.”

Kevin looked up from where he’d been studying Exy’s synaptic wiring systems, trying to figure out how Hawking had gained control over her all those months ago. “Is there anyone in this entire region of space who _isn’t_ hostile?”

“Unknown,” said Wymack, answering both Dan’s and Kevin’s questions simultaneously. “They are signalling distress, but their ident signal is Peacekeeper.”

Kevin tensed, while Dan swore. “What I wouldn’t give for some offensive weapons,” she said. “Starburst?”

“Not for three arns,” said Wymack.

“What should we do?” asked Dan.

“Shoot the lot of them, of course,” said Seth, zipping into command on his hover chair.

“Exy doesn’t have cannons,” Dan reminded him.

“We could go into our shell like a turtle,” offered Kevin. Dan looked perplexed; likely the word ‘turtle’ wasn’t translating properly. “Close the outer docking bay doors, turn on the DS, and wait for them to leave?”

“So they can report our location?” scoffed Allison, arriving with Renee. “Next thing we know it’ll be a Command Carrier bearing down on us.”

“What do you think they’re up to out here?” asked Renee.

“We could ask them,” said Kevin.

“They won’t tell you,” said Andrew from the doorway.

“They might tell _you_ ,” sneered Allison.

“Only if they don’t know I’ve defected,” replied Andrew. “What kind of Peacekeeper ship is it?”

“It identifies itself as a Marauder class vessel,” answered Wymack.

“Which is…?” prompted Kevin.

“Used for medium range transport or long range exploration,” said Andrew. “This far out and alone it’s probably a Special Ops team. Five to eight commandos.”

“We are _not_ letting five to eight Peacekeeper commandos on board!” said Dan.

“Too bad,” lamented Renee. “It would be prudent for us to learn what they’re doing out here.”

“Um…” said Allison hesitantly, raising her hand. Kevin looked at her in interest. Allison was brash and outspoken and never displayed any uncertainty. “I have a _really_ bad idea,” she said.

* * *

Kevin shifted nervously. The pulse rifle that Andrew usually favoured was surprisingly heavy; he wondered if all Sebaceans were naturally strong or if it was only Andrew who was stronger than he looked.

“Stop fidgeting,” said Andrew. His lips barely moved and his eyes stayed trained on the door that connected the maintenance bay and the docking area. “And remember—”

“Don’t speak,” hissed Kevin. “Yeah, I got it.”

He hated Allison’s plan and he wasn’t the one who was chained up in a cell. All he had to do was put on a Peacekeeper uniform (which was entirely made of leather despite the fact that no one here knew what a cow was. Andrew gave him a flat look when he brought it up— _you wear the skin of dead animals?_ — and said it was synthetic tactical fabric. In retrospect it made sense. Kevin _had_ been wondering why Andrew’s entire wardrobe consisted of leather pants), stand around and look big and menacing while avoiding saying much, as it would quickly become clear to anyone paying attention that he wasn’t speaking one of the Sebacean languages. He’d been around Andrew long enough to know several words that he repeated a lot— words like _no_ , _go away_ , _leave me alone_ , _are all humans this useless, you are an idiot_ — but not enough to fool anyone. Andrew was the one who actually had to trick them into thinking he was still a Peacekeeper in order to find out what they were doing— although, seeing as he’d been a Peacekeeper for his entire life, he _should_ be able to pretend to be one.

Kevin was resolutely ignoring the second part of their plan, which involved isolating the commandos from each other and incapacitating them.

“Halt,” ordered Andrew, as four outfitted Peacekeepers entered the maintenance bay in formation. They were dressed in full tactical gear, complete with helmets that obscured their faces. “Identify yourselves.”

“Captain Leverett,” said the soldier on point; the voice sounded female. “Peacekeeper Special Ops. And you’re a Minyard. We’ve got one, too. Which one are you?”

“Captain Alistair Minyard, Ustar regiment, Special duty assignment.”

“Out here?”

“You’re out here,” said Andrew, his tone leading.

“Classified,” said Leverett. She pulled out a chip that she wore on a chain around her neck. “I am on a priority red-one mission; I am taking command of this ship.”

“No,” said Andrew. “You aren’t.”

Kevin shifted his rifle as the commandos surrounding Leverett, who had started to relax, tensed again and trained their weapons on Andrew.

“We are on a new technologies training flight,” said Andrew calmly, “testing the use of Leviathans without control collars.”

“I’ve heard rumours of such things,” admitted Leverett, “but none that were successful.”

“It’s simple, really,” said Andrew. “The pilot controls the Leviathan and I have sole control over the pilot. It won’t respond to your commands. I suggest that you ask for my help instead of trying to force me out of your way.” He gestured at the large number of DRDs that had gathered, all of them pointing their little blast weapons at the newcomers.

Leverett huffed in annoyance. “Our ship is leaking cesium fuel and we have dangerous, classified cargo. We need to get it to the nearby Gammak base.”

Kevin schooled his face. They knew of the Gammak base; Katelyn had told them about it. They’d been keeping away from it, but their latest cargo haul had brought them back into its general vicinity.

“Very well,” said Andrew. “We will set a course. Starburst will not be available for several arns.”

“Alright,” said Leverett, finally lowering her weapon and taking off her helmet. Her subordinates followed suit. Kevin blinked in shock when one of them looked exactly like Andrew, although he supposed he shouldn’t be. She _had_ said that they had a Minyard.

“Lieutenant Herrera and Science Officer Lakes,” said Leverett, nodding to the man and woman on her left. “And our medic, Aaron Minyard.” Aaron was watching Andrew with unconcealed dislike.

Andrew tensed as soon as the last name was spoken and he seemed to freeze. It was almost imperceptible; Kevin doubted the commandos noticed, he only did because they had spent lots of time in close proximity. Kevin cleared his throat. Andrew glanced over, inclining his head toward him. “This is Lieutenant Sparks,” he said.

“There are only the two of you? On a ship this size?” asked Leverett.

“Any more personnel would be wasted,” said Andrew. “As I said, the pilot controls the ship and the DRDs do the tech work. For comfort, we each have a non-regulation servant.”

Leverett nodded in understanding and turned to her subordinates. “Lakes, Herrera,” she snapped. “Unload the cargo.” The two Peacekeepers turned and headed back to their ship. Leverett turned to Andrew. “We need a secure room to keep it and would appreciate a meal.”

“Of course,” said Andrew. “Sparks, instruct our servants to show them to the lower storage room and then patrol the containment block. I don’t want the prisoners trying anything while we’re distracted by our visitors.”

Leverett raised an eyebrow. “Prisoners?”

“They attempted to take control of the ship,” said Andrew blandly. “Obviously they failed. Captain,” he continued, pausing for a microt before also addressing his brother, “Medic, if you would follow me?”

* * *

Neil watched the Peacekeepers with interest, wondering what was in the chest that was so special. It was probably valuable, he figured. Maybe something that would be worth stealing.

He and Nicky were standing near the entrance to a storage room, acting like docile servants. It had been Nicky’s idea as an addition to Allison’s plan. He’d revealed that his adopted family had pretended that he was a servant they’d purchased whenever Peacekeeper patrols came by, knowing that they’d get in trouble for treating an alien as part of the family. Since servants were expected to speak in a Sebacean dialect— even though everyone had translator microbes so it didn’t actually _matter_ what language they spoke— only Neil and Nicky were able to pull off this ruse. Not that anyone would believe that a Luxan was acting as a docile servant if M’Att had been able to speak one of the Sebacean languages.

The others had been surprised at Neil’s ability to speak the same language as Andrew, but Neil had always liked languages and was a skilled mimic. Learning the languages of both his allies and enemies made good tactical sense. Even with translator microbes there could be misunderstandings when speaking different languages. He’d already made progress in learning Kevin’s strange Human words.

Neil was not happy with this plan that the others had conceived. He didn’t understand why they had willingly invited their enemies aboard and put themselves at a disadvantage by confining half the crew in their cells. They should have just ambushed the commandos when they came onto the ship; between the nine of them and the DRDs they had an advantage. The only part of the entire plan that Neil actually approved of was the end, when they were going to incapacitate the Peacekeepers and get them off of Exy.

The male commando, Herrera, pulled a key off his belt. Neil perked up when he saw it. It was an intricate key, but it was simply a key. Keys could be stolen or duplicated. No biometrics on the locking mechanism meant he wouldn’t have to cut off a finger or steal an eyeball, which would have been messy.

Herrera used the key to open the crate to check the contents, before grunting in approval and resealing it.

“If you will follow me,” said Neil, stepping into Herrera’s path as he moved to leave.

“Learn your place,” replied Herrera, slamming his shoulder into Neil’s. “We don’t need some foreign tralk to find our way around a Leviathan.” Lakes snickered as she followed him out of the room.

Neil lowered his gaze and stepped back. Beside him, Nicky was shaking in anger.

“I hate them,” he said lowly when the two Peacekeepers were out of earshot. “I’ve known so many good Sebaceans but these arrogant Peacekeepers ruin their reputation.”

Neil was barely listening, his attention on the crate. He cocked his head. “What do you think is in the box?”

“Who knows?” said Nicky. “Probably something dangerous.”

“So we should check it out, right?” said Neil. “For the good of the ship? Make sure it’s nothing that’s going to hurt us?”

“It’s a moot point. We don’t have the key.”

Neil brandished the key he had slipped off the Peacekeeper when he’d knocked into him.

“Oh,” said Nicky in surprise. “I’m not sure we should, Neil.”

“Nonsense. What if it’s something valuable? Or something that’ll hurt Exy,” he tacked on hastily when Nicky frowned. “Really, we’re performing a public service. We need to know whether to keep it or space it.”

“Quickly, then,” said Nicky fretfully.

“What are you two doing?” came a voice from the shadows.

“Seth!” hissed Neil angrily, annoyed at himself for flinching in fear.

“Wymack told us that they were bringing something on board,” said Seth. “I came to investigate.”

“You came to see it if was worth stealing you mean,” complained Nicky. “You’re supposed to be in your cell!”

“Do you really think I spent cycles imprisoned on this ship without having a way out of my cell? Remember that it was me that freed the rest of you.”

“Fine,” said Neil. “But _be quiet_.”

“I want half of whatever you find,” said Seth.

“Wouldn’t that be a third?” asked Neil.

“ _Half_ ,” repeated Seth.

“We were here first _and_ we have the key,” said Neil. “What exactly have you done that entitles you to half?”

“Both of you shut up and open the crate,” said Nicky. “We’re going to get caught! Do you think the Peacekeeper commandos are going to react _well_ if they find us poking at their cargo?”

“Calm down,” said Neil, but he conceded that they should get a move on. He pushed the key into the lock as Herrera had done and smiled when the box opened with a hiss.

Nicky helped pull back the cover. “It’s some kind of… cryogenic stasis pod?” he said. The inner container snapped open; inside, there was a small, yellow alien lifeform that Neil didn’t recognize.

“Ugh, it’s worth nothing,” said Seth, heading back farther into the room toward the access shaft.

“Is it still alive?” said Nicky, reaching out to touch the yellow alien.

“What are you two doing?” demanded Herrera. Neil whirled to find the Peacekeeper had returned and was glaring at them. His eyes drifted to where the crate was open. “What have you _done_?” he demanded, aghast.

Neil put his hands up in surrender, already working on an excuse, when Nicky leapt across the room, knocking Herrera down with more force than Neil thought he was capable of using. Nicky relieved Herrera of his weapon and shot the slumped man in the head.

“Exy reports weapons fire in the cargo hold,” Wymack’s voice filtered through the ship’s communication system.

“Nicky…!” whisper-shouted Neil, stuck in place by pure shock. “Why the frell would you do that?”

Nicky turned to look at him. “He was going to hurt us.”

“You think that the others just _won’t notice_ that he’s dead?” said Neil, trying to keep his voice quiet. “They’re all coming here right now! This is very, very bad; we have to come up with a plausible story to explain what happened.”

“They’re not going to know what happened,” said Nicky. He caught Neil’s shoulders and pushed him up against the bulkhead. Neil struggled, but Nicky’s grip was iron, holding him in place.

“What are you doing? Nicky, stop!” he said, trying to push free. Nicky took a step toward him, caught his chin in his fingers, and forced his head back. The kiss was harder than Neil expected and he felt numbness overtake him.

* * *

Andrew had been in the centre chamber trying to subtly interrogate Leverett about her cargo while simultaneously ignoring Aaron’s presence (and trying not to give Aaron any clues about his true identity— honestly, what were the odds that one of the only people in the galaxy who could recognize him was one of the commandos?) when Wymack had let them know about the weapons fire. The three of them and the other Peacekeeper who had just arrived, Lakes, snapped to attention, unholstered their weapons, and moved without hesitation. It was strange, being around other Peacekeepers again. It felt familiar, moving in tandem with people trained the same way he was, but he wasn’t sure he liked how easy it was to blank his mind and fall back into old routines.

The door to the cargo hold was closed when they got there. Aaron and Lakes flanked the door while Leverett and Andrew waited with their guns at the ready. At Andrew’s nod, Aaron hit the door control. It opened to show the fourth commando, Herrera, lying in a pool of his own blood. Nicky was against the far wall, blinking dazedly, and Neil had collapsed and appeared to be unconscious beside the crate that Leverett had brought aboard. The crate was open and holding a dead-looking lifeform.

Kevin showed up behind them, coming from the direction of the holding cells, his pulse rifle held up in front of him.

“It’s escaped,” breathed out Lakes.

“ _What’s_ escaped?” asked Andrew harshly. He moved into the room, intent on checking on Neil.

Leverett pointed her weapon at him. “Stay back!” she ordered. “Don’t approach them.”

Andrew hesitated. “What are you so afraid of? What have you let onto my ship?”

Leverett broke eye contact. “We were sent on fugitive recovery. Only the fugitive wasn't a person, it was a virus. An Intellant virus.”

Andrew swore. He’d heard of Intellant viruses: they could take complete control over their host, using them like meat puppets to cause havoc and allow the virus to spread. Peacekeeper protocol for dealing with an Intellant virus was obliterating everyone and everything that had come into contact with it. Entire colonies had been destroyed to stop their spread.

“When we tracked it down, the virus was using that creature as a host,” said Leverett, indicating the container. “I used a specialized stasis gun to stop it, then cryogenically froze the host.” She swallowed and looked up at him. “It killed two of my crew before we captured it.”

“Why didn’t you just _kill_ the host?” asked Andrew.

“Peacekeeper command wants it captured for study,” said Leverett shaking her head. “It has potential to be weaponized.”

Kevin gasped in horror, but Andrew wasn’t surprised. That sounded like Peacekeeper command.

“Fortunately, it’s at the single host infection stage,” piped up Lakes. Andrew now understood why a Science Officer held such an elevated position on the team. “It can only infect one host at at time and it passes from host to host through bodily fluids, like saliva or sweat.” She pointed her gun at Nicky. “Meaning it’s in one of your servants.” She sneered the last word.

“Who...?” said Nicky, sounding completely out of it. “What happened?”

Andrew turned to look at him. “That’s what I want to know,” he said.

“I don’t… I don’t remember,” said Nicky, looking around in confusion. “I touched the frozen alien and then… nothing until you came in.”

Lakes breathed in sharply. “The virus leaves behind a mild hallucinogenic that disrupts the host’s short term memory. They're unable to remember what happened while they were infected.”

“So it _was_ in Nicky?” asked Kevin. Aaron sent him a baffled look, clearly recognizing that he wasn’t speaking a language he recognized.

“Where is it now?” asked Andrew.

“Seth,” groaned Neil, sitting up and clutching his head. “It’s in Seth.”

“Who’s Seth?” demanded Leverett, her gun swivelling to point at Neil.

“The Hynerian prisoner,” said Andrew. “What happened?”

“Nicky and I were outside this room so we could monitor who was accessing the cargo— as you instructed, Captain— and we heard odd noises from inside. It was Seth; somehow he’d escaped from his cell. He opened the crate— I don’t know where he got a key. Nicky and I tried to stop him. I grabbed him, but he struggled and the two of us knocked Nicky onto the crate. That’s when Herrera appeared. Nicky leapt up, disarmed him and killed him.”

“I what?” cried Nicky, staring in horror at the dead Peacekeeper. “I didn’t! I… couldn’t.”

“It wasn’t you,” said Andrew, briskly. “Your body was being used against your will.”

Neil paused before resuming his recitation of what had happened. “Seth and I were frozen in shock. Nicky turned to us and spat on Seth, who in turn knocked me out to free himself from my hold.”

“Seth did?” asked Kevin, sounding dubious.

“The virus can make its host’s muscles fire all at once, exponentially increasing their strength,” said Lakes.

“Of course it can,” said Andrew dryly. “Where is Seth now?”

“He must have come into this room through the access shaft,” said Neil, pointing. “I’d guess he retreated into it; it makes a good hiding place for someone his size.”

“We have to find him,” said Lakes urgently. “If the virus is allowed to stay in one host for more than an arn it will be able to move into its multi-host infection stage by producing spores which will infect _all_ of us. ...Well, not him,” she corrected herself, pointing at Nicky. “It’s unable to infect someone more than once.”

Andrew noticed that everyone was instinctively looking at him for directions, as he was the purported captain of the ship. He’d never been groomed for command, never wanted it, but it found it easier to take charge than he’d expected. “Wymack, have the DRDs begin a search,” he said. “Meanwhile, we’ll search for Seth in pairs. That way the virus can’t slip into someone else unnoticed. Neil, you stay with Sparks.” That would keep him and Kevin together and away from the Peacekeepers. “Nicky, go explain the situation to the prisoners and release them; they can help with the search. Then stay with the Delvian.” Renee would know how to deal with Nicky’s obvious distress about his body being used to kill someone.

“What?” asked Leverett, appalled. “What if your prisoners attempt to take over the ship?”

“We’ll all be dead if we can’t find that virus, and we’ll take out a large portion of this part of space with us, including the Peacekeeper Gammak base,” Andrew pointed out. “We have a common goal; do you really want to stand around arguing over whether we should trust the help of inferior species?” When she didn’t respond, he nodded. “I’ll partner with Captain Leverett.” He had some pointed questions about the virus to ask.

“I have the stasis gun,” said Leverett. “If anyone finds the Hynerian you are not to approach him. Call me and I will neutralize the threat.”

“Better to just shoot him on sight,” said Neil.

“Our orders are not for you to question,” snapped Aaron.

“No, orders are to be followed,” said Andrew. “And I believe I gave some? Everybody get moving.”

* * *

Kevin thought that Neil was acting off, but it was hard to put his finger on exactly how. Neil was always a little strange, his alienness sometimes unnerving. It was probably just the knowledge that there was a virus that could _take over people’s bodies_ loose on the ship that coloured his thoughts.

“How long will it take us to get to the Gammak base?” Neil asked.

“We’re only pretending to go to the Gammak base,” said Kevin impatiently. “We want to stay _far away_ from the Peacekeepers, remember?”

“Yes, obviously,” said Neil. “I just meant how far away are we, and should we be farther?”

“I think it’ll take a couple starbursts plus some FTL travelling to get there,” said Kevin.

“How fast can a Leviathan travel outside of starburst?”

Kevin knew that most species here had faster-than-light travel and that starburst was even faster than that; he wasn’t exactly clear on the physics but he knew that they travelled through a pocket in spacetime when they starburst.

“Hetch nine,” provided Allison, wandering around a corner. Anything faster than hetch four was FTL.

Kevin raised his weapon. “What are you doing, walking around alone?”

“I couldn’t handle Nicky’s whining to Renee,” she said. “I figured that searching with you two would be better than listening to his woes.”

“You don’t like us,” said Kevin.

“Exactly,” she replied. “Imagine about how irritating he was being that I prefer to be with _you_.”

“How do we know you didn’t run into Seth when you were alone? Maybe you’re a virus right now,” said Neil.

“She’s always a virus,” said Kevin.

Allison rolled her eyes. “Wymack,” she asked, looking in the general direction of the ceiling, “did I encounter anyone in the single corridor I passed through alone?”

“You did not,” replied Wymack.

“There. Happy?”

“Fine,” said Kevin, lowering his pulse gun. “See, Neil? I’m being cautious.” Neil had still not yet stopped complaining about how Kevin had gotten them trapped by a soul vampire. He expected Neil to make a quip about his low intelligence, but for once he didn’t take the opportunity to disparage Kevin’s character.

Unfortunately for him Allison was also present, and pointing out how stupid Kevin was happened to be one of her favourite pastimes. “Maybe _you’re_ the one infected by a virus. That’s the only explanation for you being slightly less stupid than usual.”

“I’m so glad you decided to join us,” said Kevin sarcastically. “Wymack, have the DRDs found Seth yet?”

“No.”

“Maybe he went down to the maintenance bay?” suggested Neil. “The virus might decide to leave the ship.”

“I would think that being on a Leviathan would be preferable to a transport pod,” mused Kevin. “But maybe.”

They’d only gotten halfway there when Andrew contacted them. “Found him. He’s trapped in a hatch in the centre chamber.”

Neil started in surprise, his eyes darting around. “Shoot him now, Andrew,” he said. “Don’t let that virus spread.”

“Leverett’s got the stasis gun,” said Andrew.

“Use your pulse pistol,” said Neil.

“You’re being particularly bloodthirsty,” remarked Allison.

“It’s an _Intellant_ virus,” said Neil. “Kill Seth now before it attacks the rest of us.”

“Stop arguing and come here,” ordered Andrew.

Neil opened his mouth again, before closing it and grimacing.

“On our way,” replied Kevin.

* * *

Andrew didn’t like Seth and wouldn’t have minded having to kill him to stop an Intellant virus— there was pretty much nobody Andrew wouldn’t kill to stop an Intellant virus— but putting him in stasis to allow Peacekeepers to experiment on him in the hopes of controlling the virus (and probably release it by mistake and kill everybody at the Gammak base in the process) seemed very wrong.

He never should have agreed to Allison’s stupid plan; it was frelled the moment that Aaron had come on board. The original plan was to separate the commandos and incapacitate them, either using M’Att’s Luxan whip-tongue sedative or just bashing them on the head, piling them in their damaged Marauder, and starbursting away.

Andrew had argued for killing them outright— it seemed kinder than leaving them to slowly die on a malfunctioning vessel— but the others hadn’t agreed. For all that they were perfectly happy leaving Peacekeepers to die, executing them made them squeamish. Andrew scoffed at their double standards.

Of course the plan was no longer viable. Aaron was here, and Andrew had no intention of killing Aaron. They may have a rocky personal history but he wasn’t about to kill his brother in cold blood. Or hot blood. His brother was one of the few people in the galaxy that he would never willingly kill.

He’d worry about it later. First they had a virus to contain. They’d cornered Seth in an access shaft where he had nowhere to escape. He’d been trying to hide from them at first, but now that it was clear they were aware of his presence, he was arguing with them. It was unnerving how much he sounded exactly like Seth. That the virus could imitate him so completely was terrifying.

There was a racket at the doorway, and Andrew glanced up to see Allison, Kevin, and Neil enter. Allison and Kevin were bickering; it was a little odd that Neil wasn’t joining in to help Allison tease Kevin as he usually did. He’d been getting a lot friendlier with the others ever since he and Andrew had come to an agreement and he’d decided to stay. Instead, his eyes kept darting nervously to where Seth was hiding.

“It’s not me! I wasn’t even there anymore!” Seth was yelling while Leverett lined up her shot.

Allison shuddered. “Can you imagine having something inside you that can mimic you so well? Using you as an incubator for spores? Hopefully I’m immune.”

“Why would you be immune?” asked Kevin in annoyance.

“Because I’m a Queen, of course,” said Allison haughtily.

“Being royalty didn’t help the Dominar over there,” said Kevin acidly, stalking away from her.

Neil took Allison’s hand in one of his. “Your highness,” he said, and brought her hand up to his mouth to kiss the back of it.

Andrew looked away. It was fine. He didn’t want Neil anyway. There was no reason to be jealous of a chaste, joking kiss to a hand.

He was drawn out of his thoughts by Leverett firing her weapon.

“Got him,” she said. “Let’s get him into cryofreeze.”

“And then what?” challenged Dan. “You expect us to let you experiment on him?”

“You are a prisoner; who are you to question me?” said Leverett, pulling herself to her full height, which was still quite a bit shorter than Dan’s.

“Let’s make sure we have the virus contained before we decide anything,” said Andrew. “Is there a way to detect its presence?”

“It’s an acidic lifeform,” said Lakes. “I can make a substrate to perform a litmus test.”

“We have supplies you can use in the science lab,” said Renee.

“Which is where?” asked Lakes, giving Renee an obviously unimpressed once-over.

“Next to medical bay,” said Andrew. “Neil?”

Neil looked completely dazed. He blinked a couple times when Andrew said his name and shook his head sharply. “What?” he asked, sounding incredibly suspicious.

“Show Lakes to the medical bay,” said Andrew, deciding he’d ask Neil what was wrong later. First he’d questioned him over the comms, despite the fact that he was supposed to be pretending to be a servant, and now he was spacing out. Andrew had expected Neil to be better at playing a role than this.

Neil nodded a couple times, still looking around warily, before gesturing her out of the room.

“In the meantime, the danger has passed. The four of you will be returned to your cells. Sparks?”

M’Att and Dan both glared at him, but Renee nodded in understanding and Allison didn’t react at all. Strange. He would have expected Allison to have something to say about him ordering them back into containment.

He turned to Leverett and Aaron. “Let’s get the little toad into cryostasis.”

* * *

Renee didn’t want to leave Nicky alone. He was taking the fact that he’d unwittingly killed someone very badly. Renee understood the guilt that came from killing, although for her it was quite different. She had always made the conscious decision to kill her victims.

Guilty as she felt for abandoning Nicky when he was upset, she didn’t have a choice. They’d committed to the ruse with the Peacekeepers. She knew things would eventually come to a head, but first they had to ensure that they were safe from the Intellant virus. She remembered stories from her youth of a Delvian colony that had been attacked by an Intellant virus. The ruling Delvian Priestesses had nuked the entire planet to stop its spread, killing millions of innocent civilians in the process.

Kevin closed her in her cell, grimacing apologetically. She shook her head slightly; she had spent many cycles behind these bars. A lot of that time had been spent meditating as Stephanie had taught her, but the memories were still unpleasant. She could see her unhappiness at being detained again mirrored in M’Att and Dan’s faces.

“Ow!” said Kevin from farther along the corridor. “Did you just bite me?!” He pushed Allison roughly into her cell, causing her to stumble. He locked the door behind her, then locked the other three cells for good measure before stalking off angrily.

“Did he just _lock us in_?” asked Dan incredulously. “Kevin!” she called. “That drelk,” she grumbled when there was no response.

“Wymack?” asked Renee.

“It appears you are locked in,” said Wymack. “I cannot override from down here.”

“Can you call Nicky or Neil to come unlock the doors?” asked M’Att. “Being locked in was definitely not part of the plan.”

“What the frell?” said Allison loudly. “Why am I back in my cell? What the hezmana is going on?”

“You don’t remember?” asked Dan cautiously.

“The last thing I remember is being in the centre chamber. That Peacekeeper tralk was about to shoot Seth. What happened?”

“Oh,” said Renee, in realization and dawning horror. “Oh, no.”

* * *

After showing the Peacekeeper to the science lab, Neil retreated to his favourite part of the ship: the observation lounge. Sitting by the viewport, he stared sightlessly out into the void. He had no idea what was going on. One minute Nicky had been shoving his tongue in Neil's mouth and the next he'd been in the centre chamber watching as Andrew let the intruding Peacekeeper captain shoot Seth with some kind of modified weapon. He was confused and didn't know what had been done to him or who was responsible. He hoped it wasn't Andrew. Neil had just been starting to— not trust, he knew better than to trust. He could still clearly hear his mother's words, instructing him to never trust anybody— to believe him when he said he'd protect Neil.

If it weren't for Nicky uncharacteristically murdering a Peacekeeper right before he kissed Neil, Neil would have assumed that he was collecting the price that Neil had to pay for safe passage. It wouldn't be the first time. He wasn’t a stranger to people wanting his body; whether or not they recognized his species he was unique, and he'd learned that a lot of people were willing to give him something for the chance to have sex with a rare species of alien.

Neil wasn't interested in copulation any more than the rest of the Nebari were, but his mother had taught him by example how to recognize interest and how to manipulate it for his own gain. She had done it frequently and after she’d died he’d learned how to grit his teeth and pretend he was enjoying himself, not that many cared if he was.

He'd tried his usual methods when he'd ended up on Exy— Andrew, M'Att, Dan, and Nicky all looked at him with desire— but no one had taken him up on his implied offers, despite the fact that they'd let him stay. Even when Andrew had almost kissed him, it hadn’t been like his past experiences. He'd just started to get comfortable here and he didn't want anything to ruin it.

Nicky hadn't been in the centre chamber when Neil gained awareness of his surroundings. Neil wanted to ask him questions about the chest and its contents; on the other hand he absolutely didn't want to draw attention to the fact that he'd opened it or that he was missing memories, especially in front of the intruders.

“There you are,” said Andrew, coming into the lounge.

“Shouldn't you be keeping an eye on our visitors?” asked Neil. He felt strangely numb; what if Andrew was somehow responsible for the unwanted kiss or the blank in Neil's mind?

“I left Aaron and Leverett with Kevin in command,” said Andrew.

“He looks like you,” said Neil. “Aaron.” It was strange that they looked so similar while having completely different mannerisms.

“Well we are clones of the same person,” said Andrew dryly. “On top of that he and I are also monozygotic twins. Obviously we look alike.” He paused for a beat. “Are you going to tell me why you're acting strangely or am I going to have to continue with this inane small talk?”

“I'm acting strangely?”

“The kiss was a little out of character.”

Neil looked up angrily. “You know about that? Did you tell him to do it?”

Andrew stared at him. “What are you talking about?”

“Nicky! Did you tell him to kiss me?”

“Why would I…” Andrew trailed off. Something like understanding passed over his face and he set his jaw. “When did he kiss you? In the cargo hold?”

“How would you know that if you didn't—”

“The virus wasn't in Seth it was in you,” said Andrew, cutting him off.

“Virus?” echoed Neil. “What virus?”

“The Intellant virus that Leverett brought on board and you and Nicky set loose.” Andrew glared.

“There's an Intellant virus aboard?” said Neil, hopping to his feet. “Frell this, I'm out of here.” The transport pods didn't have great range but they certainly beat being on a ship with an Intellant virus.

“No you aren't,” said Andrew, gripping his wrist and dragging him out into the corridor. “You passed it on to Allison; we’ve got to get to the containment cells.” He passed Neil a pulse pistol. “Try not to shoot me in the back.”

Neil gave him a flat look. “I know how to use a gun.”

Andrew didn’t look convinced but he didn’t argue, either.

About halfway to the containment level, they ran into their shipmates that were supposed to be in their cells. Nicky was with them; Neil averted his eyes.

Andrew aimed his pulse pistol at Allison. “The virus isn't in Seth,” he said.

Allison rolled her eyes. “Yeah, we’re aware.”

“It's no longer in Allison either,” said Renee. “We believe it's in Kevin.”

Andrew swore. “Wymack, is Kevin still in command?” he asked.

“Yes,” said Wymack. “He appears to be trying to speed our progress toward the Gammak base.”

“Are you going to kill him?” asked Nicky in trepidation.

“I don’t know,” said Andrew. Neil could see his conflict: Kevin was under his protection, but the threat of the virus couldn’t be ignored.

“Maybe he’s transferred it to one of the Peacekeepers,” said M’Att hopefully.

Neil wasn’t sure that that was a comfort to Andrew; something about Andrew's expression when he'd spoken about his brother made Neil suspect that Andrew wasn’t likely to kill him, either.

“We’ll figure it out,” said Dan, leading them to command at a brisk pace.

They spilled into command, all of them with weapons at the ready. “Step away from the console,” commanded Dan.

Leverett and Aaron responded by pulling out their own weapons.

“What’s going on?” demanded Leverett.

“We have reason to believe that the virus is still loose and currently inside Kevin,” said Renee.

“Who’s Kevin?” asked Aaron, bewildered.

“Sparks,” said Andrew. “Step away from the console.”

Kevin turned. He was visibly sweaty and had an eerie grin on his face. “Oh, well,” he said, raising his hands slowly. “I guess you got me.” He moved his hands to his head like he was surrendering, but at the last moment he wiped both hands across his sweaty brow and flicked his hands towards the rest of them. Everyone flinched back but the damage was done. The virus had travelled through his sweat into someone else.

Kevin stumbled a couple steps and blinked in confusion. He looked to Andrew. “Andrew?” he said, hesitantly. “What happened?”

Aaron’s horrified gaze snapped to Andrew. “Andrew?!” he demanded. His jaw tightened. “Traitor.”

“Yeah, yeah, maybe let’s worry about that later?” drawled Allison. “And find the virus now?”

At her reminder, everyone started trying to point their weapons at everyone else simultaneously.

“Everyone stay calm,” said Dan. “Let’s go about this logically.”

“It can’t be in Kevin, Allison, Neil, or Nicky,” said M’Att.

“Or Lakes,” said Aaron. “She’s still in your science lab.”

“She was working on a test to confirm the presence of the virus,” said Renee. “Let’s all go there, _together_ , and we can figure out where the virus is.”

“Any objections?” asked Andrew, his eyes narrow as he surveyed the others.

“Let’s move this six-way Mexican standoff to the science lab, shall we?” said Kevin, still swaying a little on his feet.

“No one knows what you’re talking about,” said Allison.

Kevin glared at Allison. “You _bit_ me!” he accused.

“Ew,” said Allison. “ _That’s_ why I have a gross taste in my mouth?”

“Focus, you two,” sighed Dan.

The six potentially-infected headed down to the science lab in a hexagonal formation, keeping their weapons trained on each other.

“Lakes!” called Leverett as they finally reached the lab. “We have a situation.”

There was no answer. Neil caught Andrew’s eye and grimaced. They found Lakes lying on the floor, her neck snapped, the pieces of the stasis gun beside her. Apparently virus-Kevin had made a pit stop before he’d gone to command. Kevin stared at her body with devastated eyes.

“Okay,” said Dan. “Okay, okay. That’s not great. Allison, you know biochemistry. Can you make a substrate like Lakes described?”

“I don’t know what she described,” said Allison.

“Right, you were the virus at that point,” conceded Dan.

“The virus is acidic,” said Renee. “She said something about a litmus test?”

“Easy enough,” said Allison. She gingerly stepped over Lakes’ body to reach the lab bench and began mixing chemicals.

“Your shipmates get injected first,” said Aaron. “To make sure you don’t poison us.” His weapon had been unerringly pointed at Andrew since he’d heard his name. “You know,” he said. “I’d heard that one of the Minyards had defected. I should have known it was you. You proved yourself disloyal cycles ago.”

Andrew didn’t reply, his face impassive.

“Who do you think it is?” whispered Nicky from beside Neil. Neil flinched and pulled back. He’d been too busy watching the others to notice that Nicky was beside him.

Nicky’s brow creased in concern. “Neil? You okay?”

“I’m fine,” said Neil shortly. “You startled me, is all.”

Nicky frowned as Neil took another step away from him, but didn’t have the chance to say anything because Allison announced that the test was ready.

She held out her arm and injected a substance into it. A light pinkish colour appeared. “My blood is still slightly acidic because I was the host for a short time,” she said. “The current host should turn a dark red.”

“Lucky it can’t be in me or we’d never see it,” muttered Nicky, indicating his red skin.

Allison stepped forward and injected Renee. Nothing happened. Dan, Aaron, and M’Att followed. With only Leverett and Andrew remaining to be tested, they faced off tensely.

“Clearly it’s in him,” said Leverett, her eyes darting from side to side. “Minyard, shoot him.”

“Oh, have you stopped wanting to _capture_ and _weaponize_ the dangerous virus?” asked Allison snidely. “Have you finally lost enough members of your crew?” She shook her head in disgust. “Who’s next?” she asked, brandishing her syringe.

Andrew was placid and calm, as opposed to Leverett who was getting more and more agitated. “Medic Minyard, I gave you an order!” she said. “If you won’t shoot him, I will.” Neil pressed the trigger of his pistol before she even finished speaking, shooting her gun out of her hand.

“Neil!” shouted Dan, as Leverett cradled her bloody hand to her chest. “What are you doing?”

“She was going to shoot him,” said Neil. “I say we find out where the virus is before we start shooting.”

“Hypocritical of you to advocate for less shooting,” sneered Aaron.

“She’s still alive,” said Neil. “I only disarmed her.”

“Nice shot,” said Andrew, his eyes flicking to the pistol he’d lent Neil.

“Told you I knew how to use a gun.”

“Let’s bond about Neil’s exciting new talent later,” said Allison. “Minyard, hold out your hand.”

“No!” shouted Leverett, sliding a knife from her sleeve and throwing it at Allison. Andrew tackled her out of the way. M’Att, Dan, and Neil all fired at Leverett as soon as she loosed the knife; she was hit by multiple pulse blasts and collapsed to the floor.

“Don’t touch her,” said Renee, disarming and holding Aaron to prevent him from attacking the rest of them. “We’ll suit up and put her out the airlock to make sure the virus is gone.”

Andrew groaned in pain. Neil looked over at him in concern.

“Minyard’s been hit,” said Allison from the floor beside him. She breathed in sharply. “Looks bad. Also good news: I double checked and he’s not the virus.”

“We already figured that out,” said M’Att.

“Let me go,” said Aaron, struggling against Renee’s hold. “I’m a medic; I can help.”

“Why should we trust you?” said Dan. “You clearly don’t like him.”

“Then he dies either way,” said Aaron.

Dan visibly hesitated before nodding at Renee to let Aaron go. He rushed forward to check Andrew’s wound.

“You two,” he said, pointing at M’Att and Kevin. “Help me get him to the medical bay.”

Neil watched them carry Andrew out; he found Andrew’s pale, still face unnerving. He felt the intense need to escape, to run and hide. Instead, he made himself stand firm. He had promised that he’d stay.

“What now?” he asked.

Dan sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “Allison and Renee, can you take care of spacing the bodies? Make sure that virus is gone for good.” At their nods, she turned to Neil and Nicky. “You two can show me how you opened the crate in the first place. We should probably thaw Seth.”

* * *

Seth was grousing at anyone who would listen, angry at having been shot and frozen. Kevin ignored him, as did everyone else. They were waiting to hear whether or not Andrew would survive. Aaron had decreed that he needed a surgical procedure to repair the damage from where the knife had pierced his stomach. Allison and Renee had assisted him to keep an eye on what he was doing.

Kevin was trying to pretend that nothing was wrong. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if Andrew died; he’d been depending on Andrew since they’d met. He wondered if Neil would disappear without Andrew’s promise of protection.

Renee entered the centre chamber, looking weary.

“The wound is not fatal,” she announced.

“But…?” prompted Dan.

“His paraphoral nerve has been damaged. It won’t regenerate on its own and it's necessary for filtering toxins from his blood.”

“Is there a cure?” asked Nicky softly.

“A tissue graft from a compatible donor,” said Renee.

“We have one of those,” said Kevin. “Is Aaron refusing to donate his tissue?”

“No,” said Renee. “But we are missing an enzyme that’s required for the graft. If we can’t get it within sixty arns… Andrew will die.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has character illness, non-graphic torture, and references to past dub-con.

Andrew blinked awake, surprised to be alive. He was in Exy’s medical bay. Large tubes ran from the ceiling into him; he frowned at them in confusion.

“How are you feeling?” asked Renee, from where she was sitting by his bedside.

Andrew didn’t bother answering the question. They both knew he felt like he was dying. “What,” he said instead, indicating the tubes.

“Exy is removing toxins from your blood,” said Renee. “She’s buying you some time.”

“Don’t bother,” said Andrew. “Just help me get to my Prowler. I was always meant to die in space.”

“Pessimist,” said Renee fondly. “We’ve come up with a plan to get the enzyme you need.”

“What plan?” he asked in resignation.

She hesitated.

“That bad?” he said dryly.

“We’re going to infiltrate the Gammak base to get it,” she said quickly, as if he might not notice what she said if she said it fast enough.

“Oh, good, you’ve all gone insane,” he said, lying back and closing his eyes. “You expect me to believe that you all voted to save me by putting yourselves in danger?”

“You won’t be surprised to learn that Seth and Allison voted against the plan,” said Renee. “But the majority of us were in favour.”

“Unexpected,” said Andrew. He opened his eyes again. “Where’s Aaron?”

“He’s been… detained,” said Renee delicately. “We thought he might try to contact the Peacekeeper base while we’re so close to it.”

“We’re there already?”

“Yes,” said Renee. “You’ve been asleep for over two solars. It’s on a small moon that orbits a gas giant. Exy is able to hide from their sensors by skimming as close to the planet as possible.”

Andrew shook his head. “You should just let me take my Prowler out. Much less trouble.”

“That may be, but your Prowler isn’t currently on board.”

“Where’s my Prowler?” He tried to sit up; she pushed him back down, gentle but firm. “Renee, where is my Prowler?”

“Well we couldn’t very well infiltrate the Gammak base in a Leviathan transport pod, could we?”

“Who’s flying it?”

“The only one of us who can pass for a Sebacean.”

Andrew closed his eyes tightly, hoping this was a bad dream. “You let _Kevin_ fly my Prowler? You sent _Kevin_ to infiltrate a Gammak base? _Alone_?”

“Of course not,” said Renee. “Neil went with him.”

“Oh, well, that’s fine then,” said Andrew sarcastically. “You’ve sent Kevin and Neil off on a dangerous adventure. I’m sure everything will go smoothly.” He shook his head. “Should have just let me die.”

* * *

“I still think that I should be flying,” grumbled Neil from the backseat of the Prowler.

Kevin scowled. He wasn’t doing _that_ badly. Neil was just a worrywart. Sure they’d been a little upside down for awhile but they were in _space_. It wasn’t like there actually was an up and down. “It’s not that—”

“Ah,” said Neil, chidingly. “You’re mute, remember? That’s why you have a non-regulation translator. No talking.”

“I remember,” said Kevin sullenly. This plan was stupid and dangerous and the only way to get the enzyme that they needed to save Andrew, so it was completely necessary. He wished someone else could have taken the role of Peacekeeper soldier, even though he was aware that he was the only one who looked the part. And Neil was the only one who could go with him, since the others all had criminal records in the Peacekeeper data spools.

There had been a pitched battle about whether to attempt to get the enzyme or not. Kevin may not be enamoured with the idea, but he had voted to save Andrew, as had Neil, Nicky, and Renee. Wymack had been apologetic but had voted to keep Exy away from the Peacekeepers and their control collars. Allison and Seth had obviously had no interest in helping Andrew, and Dan had voted with them, not willing to risk the lives of everyone else on board.

“For what it’s worth,” she’d said when she’d cast her vote, “the part of me that wants Andrew to live is greater than the part that wants all Peacekeepers to die.”

“It’s not worth a lot,” Neil had replied.

Dan had spread her arms expansively. “It’s all I have.”

M’Att had been the deciding vote. “I want to go home,” he’d said, “and see my mother again, more than anything. But I want to be able to look her in the eye when I do.”

Seth had angrily stalked off, but Allison and Dan had actually been helpful in the creation of their ridiculous plan to infiltrate the Gammak base.

The moon had a mostly liquid oil surface, with only a couple areas of solid ground. The coordinates of the base, reluctantly provided by Aaron, brought them to what appeared to be an abandoned refinery.

“Really?” Kevin asked, when he caught sight of it. “Here? Do you think Aaron was lying?”

“Nope,” said Neil, flicking a couple switches in the backseat. “Seven targeting systems just locked onto us.”

The radio crackled to life. “Unidentified Prowler, provide your credentials.”

“Identity will be proven after landing,” said Neil.

“If you don’t identify yourself immediately, we will—”

“Shoot us down?” interrupted Neil. “You’ll gun down a superior officer without checking his ident chip?”

There was a brief pause. “Follow the landing vector.”

Kevin let out a breath. Renee had taken Leverett’s identity chip and had managed to rewrite it so that Kevin’s information was stored on it, but they didn’t know the proper landing codes. This plan really was very, very stupid.

“Gently,” hissed Neil as Kevin landed the Prowler a little jerkily. “If we manage to save Andrew he’ll kill you if you damage his ship.”

Kevin grimaced and didn’t answer. He couldn’t speak, he reminded himself. He’d received a wound to his throat (Allison was unsurprisingly talented with makeup and had made a realistic-looking scar) that had destroyed his vocal chords.

He gathered his courage before exiting the Prowler, holding up Leverett’s high level ident chip out in front of him.

Neil scrambled to follow. “This is Captain Leverett,” he said to the officer who had come to greet them. “He sustained an injury while on special assignment in the Uncharted Territories and can no longer speak.”

The officer raised an eyebrow, but took the ident chip from Kevin and scanned it. The scanner lit up green and the office nodded.

“The captain should take advantage of our medical facility,” he said, passing it back. He hadn’t once looked at Kevin, keeping his eyes on Neil. “You need to be granted visitor access to the base.”

Neil inclined his head. “I am the captain’s personal property. He purchased me to act as his translator.” Kevin stopped himself from recoiling at the thought of owning another person and suppressed his disgust that the officer found nothing out of the ordinary about the situation.

“You must be very talented,” the officer said, a predatory gaze lingering on Neil.

“I am able to discern his wishes and give him what he desires... _whatever_ he desires.”

“Perhaps you and I could have a talk about your talents later? In the lounge?”

“Perhaps,” said Neil, his look and manner coy. Kevin glared at him. They were there to save Andrew, not… not whatever game Neil was playing.

Neil ignored him and followed the officer.

“I’ve never seen your species before,” said the officer.

“We’re very rare in this area of space,” said Neil. “One could say that I’m practically unique.”

The officer’s eyes were hungry. “What brings you here?”

“I found my home planet too… stifling. I enjoy new experiences. Meeting new people.”

Kevin hadn’t seen Neil acting seductive since he’d first arrived on Exy and the way the Peacekeeper’s eyes dilated in response to Neil’s words made him feel vaguely ill. He loudly cleared his throat. Neil turned to him in annoyance. Kevin narrowed his eyes and made several gestures, hoping to convey that he wanted to do what they’d come here to do and leave.

Neil sighed. “Captain Leverett would like to go to our quarters,” he said. He ran a finger up the officer’s arm. “Maybe I’ll see you in the lounge once I’ve got him settled in?”

“I look forward to it,” said the officer hoarsely. He waved over another Peacekeeper. “Take them to their quarters. Level four.”

“Yes, sir,” she said. “This way, sir.”

She led them briskly through the base. Kevin memorized their route; luckily it was quite straightforward, the base was laid out like a grid. He was beginning to relax a little and was thinking that this absurd plan might actually work when they came across another security checkpoint.

“I’ll need your ident chip, sir,” said a security officer.

“Again?” asked Neil contemptuously. “You’re all officious and stuffy, aren’t you?”

The security officer didn’t spare him a glance. “Your ident chip,” he said snippily.

Kevin handed it over, hoping that it would continue to work.

“Place you hand in the scanner,” continued the security officer, gesturing.

Kevin balked. “Why?” said Neil.

“DNA verification is required beyond this point,” said the security officer. “Your hand, _sir_.”

Kevin looked at Neil helplessly, who shrugged, which was really very unhelpful. Seeing no other options, Kevin put his hand in the scanner. He wondered what would happen to them when they were captured, if the others would come to rescue them. Probably not.

The scanner blinked green.

“Very good, sir,” said the security officer. “Your room is just down this corridor.”

Kevin hurried away, followed by Neil.

“How the frell did you pull that off?” muttered Neil.

“No idea,” Kevin said, scratching his nose so no one could see his lips moving. “Renee?”

“I don’t think so…”

Kevin found their quarters and ushered Neil inside. “Well, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.”

Neil squinted. “ _That_ didn’t translate,” he said. “What is a… whore?” He had a strange, lilting accent when he attempted to speak English.

“Horse,” corrected Kevin. “An animal. Herbivorous beast of burden that can be used for transport. Speaking of whores, though… or should I say tralks?”

He could tell that Neil understood _that_. He cocked his head in the loose, flirty way he’d been using when speaking with the officer earlier. “What, you don’t like it?” he said. His expression hardened. “The more they’re looking at me, the less they’re looking at _you_ and realizing that you don’t quite fit.”

“I think there are easier ways to—”

“ _Don’t_ tell me how to lie, Kevin,” said Neil. “It’s one of the things I’m best at.”

“Fine,” said Kevin petulantly, “but I don’t think that throwing yourself at them will work. They’re not allowed to be with aliens.”

“You think high ranking officers in power do anything except exactly what they want?” snorted Neil. “You saw how that man was looking at me.”

“If he’s so powerful, he’ll be angry when you don’t follow through.”

“Who says I won’t follow through?”

Kevin gaped. “You said you didn’t. You said your species was asexual.”

“Culturally asexual,” corrected Neil. “And I don’t need to desire him to have sex with him.”

“You’d do that?”

Neil shrugged. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

Kevin felt that he’d been punched in the solar plexus.

“Oh, don’t give me that look,” said Neil angrily. “You don’t get to judge what I’ve done to survive.”

“I’m not—” started Kevin, before abruptly cutting himself off. He tried again, “You know that we don’t require you to do that, right?” he said instead.

Neil’s response was cut off by a knock on the door. They shared a confused look. Kevin moved to open the door, Neil at his shoulder.

He only glimpsed auburn hair before he was being pushed back into his room.

“What—?” he started, before he caught sight of his assailant’s face. “Katelyn?!”

“You know her?” asked Neil. That brought Kevin up short. It seemed like Neil had been with them when they’d found the Terrapin. He’d integrated into the ship so completely in the months he’d been with them that Kevin had forgotten that he hadn’t been there since the beginning.

“Clearly,” said Kevin. “Since I just said her name. She’s a friend.”

“You have friends?”

Kevin was more than a little insulted by how disbelieving Neil sounded. “ _You’re_ my friend.”

“Eh,” said Neil doubtfully.

Kevin waved him off. “Katelyn, what are you doing here?”

“That’s what I’m here to ask you!” she said in a furious whisper. “I may have helped you on the Terrapin, but that was to protect myself and Aaron. I’m not going to sit by and let you infiltrate a Peacekeeper base.”

“But we’re here because of Aaron,” Neil cut in smoothly. Katelyn’s eyes snapped to him. Kevin started to correct him, but Neil elbowed him in the kidney. “We came across his ship, it was damaged. His crew had all been killed by an Intellant virus.” Katelyn breathed in sharply. Neil continued, with what Kevin knew to be false sympathy. “He managed to kill it; he’s a hero. But his paraphoral nerve was damaged. Andrew’s willing to donate his tissue, but…”

“But he needs the binding enzyme,” finished Katelyn. Her eyes narrowed. “Why did you help him? I know most of you think that the only good Peacekeeper is a dead Peacekeeper.”

“We’re not completely immoral,” defended Kevin.

“Andrew wanted us to,” said Neil.

“Andrew hates Aaron,” argued Katelyn. “He reported him to Peacekeeper command and got him demoted.”

“And now he wants to make amends,” said Neil. Despite the fact that Kevin knew he was lying, he half-believed what he was saying.

Katelyn drew a breath in shakily. “Alright. I can get the enzyme. It’s easy enough for me to fake a work order and requisition it from medical.”

“Won’t they be suspicious as to why you need it?” asked Kevin.

“As long as I have the proper orders, they won’t question it.”

“You can do that?” said Kevin.

Katelyn gave him a flat look. “I managed to override the system that required your DNA, didn’t I?”

“That was you?” asked Kevin. “But why? You said you weren’t going to let us infiltrate the base, but you actively helped us?”

“Yes, well,” said Katelyn, shifting. “I wanted to see why you were here before I reported you. I know we didn’t spend too much time together but I… I thought we were friends.”

“We were,” said Kevin earnestly. “We _are_.”

“You got us through security?” asked Neil. “You are a _very_ good friend.”

* * *

With Katelyn headed off to medical, Neil insisted that he and Kevin head to the lounge. Kevin balked.

“The first rule of stealing something with an accomplice is that you remain visible when the accomplice is doing the stealing,” said Neil impatiently. It really wasn’t that hard of a concept to understand. “If for some reason the Peacekeeper tech gets caught we can’t let them suspect us or we’ll never get what we need.”

Kevin was still resistant. “Why can’t I stay here? You go.”

“Because my presence might make them question where you are,” said Neil. “You don’t have to stay long. Have a drink, scowl at everyone, then you can leave.”

Kevin hesitated. “What are you…?”

“Calm down, you prude,” said Neil. He really didn’t understand Kevin’s obvious revulsion at Neil’s stated willingness to use his body to his advantage. Sure it wasn’t his favourite thing to do, but there were worse things that could be asked of him.

“I’m not a… a _prude_ ,” said Kevin. “I’ve had sex. With multiple people! …Not at the same time.”

Neil held his hands up. “It wasn’t an insult. You’d make a good Nebari.”

“I would _not_ ,” huffed Kevin.

“Let’s just go,” said Neil, forcing him into the hallway only a little because Kevin wasn’t allowed to speak outside of their room.

The officer from the docks wasn’t in the lounge, so Neil found a couple other officers to ingratiate himself with. They weren’t quite as obvious with their leering as the other man had been but he could tell that both his alienness and the taboo against mixed-race liaisons intrigued them. He briefly wondered if those things were what kept Andrew interested in him, but then shut that thought down. He didn’t care for people’s reasons: he only cared _if_ they wanted him and how he could use that to manipulate them. He didn’t want to manipulate Andrew, so his attraction didn’t matter.

A hush fell over the lounge. A man— although his [deformed facial features](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/farscape/images/3/35/Scorpius250.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20070124133908) indicated that he wasn’t a Peacekeeper— stood in the entrance way. He was dressed head-to-toe in what Kevin referred to as _leather_ and Andrew called _tactical fabric_. His eyes lingered on Kevin for a couple beats before passing over Neil and landing on one of the officers Neil was drinking with. A shiver went up Neil’s spine. He was practiced at recognizing predators.

The officer drained her cup and stood. “Duty calls, I’m afraid,” she said, taking her leave.

Neil watched her leave with the dangerous man and headed over to Kevin under the guise of getting another drink. “You should go now,” he said under his breath.

Kevin made an inquisitive noise.

“That guy gave me a woody,” said Neil.

Kevin choked on his drink. “He _what_?” he whispered hoarsely once he’d gotten air to his lungs again.

“A woody,” repeated Neil. “It’s a human expression I’ve heard you use before. You know, when you don’t trust someone or they make you nervous?”

“Gave you the _willies_ ,” corrected Kevin. “And what guy? The weirdo in the gimp suit? I did think that was strange.”

“Stay away from him.”

“You know him?”

“No,” said Neil gravely. “But I can recognize danger when I see it.”

“Okay, I’ll head back,” said Kevin. “Are you coming?”

“It’ll be suspicious if I suddenly leave now,” said Neil, jerking his head back to where the officers were waiting for him. “I’ll see if I can find out who that was and follow you soon.”

Kevin nodded and finished his drink, leaving the lounge. Neil pasted on a relaxed smile and returned to the officers. Luckily, they were already talking about what he wanted to know about.

“I still can’t believe that Admiral Moriyama claims that… _thing_ as family,” sneered one of them.

“He _is_ his sister’s son,” argued one of the others. “And this base has become much more productive ever since he took charge.”

“Although all we ever get to study now is wormholes,” complained the first officer.

Neil’s attention was piqued. Kevin would be interested to know about the wormhole research; Neil was undecided over whether to tell him. Maybe he’d mention it when they made it back to Exy so Kevin couldn’t do anything that would interfere with getting the enzyme for Andrew.

Neil wanted to ask questions, but his desire to leave the base as soon as possible was overwhelming. Katelyn should be back from medical shortly.

“I hate to cut this short, but I’ve got places to be,” he said, starting to rise.

“Not so fast,” said a voice from behind him. Hands landed on his shoulders, keeping him in his seat.

He looked up at the officer who had left with the dangerous man earlier. “Sorry,” said Neil. “No free samples.”

“As pretty as you are, that’s not what I want,” she said, tightening her grip. “My boss has a couple questions for you.”

* * *

Kevin was restless, waiting for Katelyn and Neil to return. He was twitchy, Neil’s fear unsettling him. And he had been frightened. Kevin could see it, underneath his usual sarcasm and bravado. It made Kevin anxious. He wanted to get the enzyme and leave here forever.

The sound of the door opening had him looking up. It was Katelyn, her face slightly flushed, as if she’d been rushing.

“Your companion’s been detained,” she said. “I saw a base-wide alert. They’re looking for you, too.”

Kevin stood, not sure what he should do with his hands, not sure where he should go. “I need to…” he trailed off. He had no idea what to do. This wasn’t a situation that he felt prepared to deal with.

“You _need_ to get this enzyme to Aaron,” she said forcefully. “He can’t have much time left.”

“You just said they’re looking for me,” he argued. “How am I supposed to get to the Prowler without being seen? Even if I do, they’ll just shoot me out of the sky when I leave. And I’m not going anywhere without Neil.”

“You’re going to have to,” she replied mercilessly. “I am helping you to help Aaron. You take the enzyme to him right now, or I’ll report your location.”

Kevin’s eyes narrowed. “I’ll tell them you were helping me.”

“So. Either you save Aaron or we all die.”

“I can’t help but suspect that _this_ is why love is forbidden,” snapped Kevin. “Fine. Do you have a _plan_ to get me out of here, or should I just hope nobody’s looking?”

“Of course I have a plan,” she said. “Has anyone ever told you that you get mean when you’re worried?”

“ _Yes_ ,” said Kevin harshly. He took a deep breath. “Sorry,” he said. “I didn’t want to be here in the first place, and now… I don’t want to leave Neil behind. Or you. What if they find out you helped me?”

“I’ll be fine,” she said. “And… and Neil has somehow gotten the attention of Ichirou. Forget about him; he’s as good as dead.”

* * *

Neil knew that he had terrible luck, he just hadn’t thought his luck was quite this bad. He wasn’t even sure what he was doing here; no small amount of safety was worth this. He never should have agreed to sneak into a Peacekeeper base. He’d never considered being a martyr before. Why had he cared about one person’s death? He should have let Andrew die. Never mind that he still rebelled against that thought, even though he now found himself strapped in some kind of interrogation chair. The leather-clad man regarded him as if he were some kind of insect that he wanted to pull the wings off of.

“I am Ichirou,” said the man. “You are a species I do not recognize and the man you came in with is an imposter.”

Neil said nothing.

“You needn’t bother trying to hide it,” continued Ichirou, his voice completely calm and controlled. “He looks like a Sebacean, true, but his energy signature is completely different. I’ve never seen his species either.”

“And what species are you?” spat Neil. “Some kind of mutant hybrid?”

“Yes, actually,” said Ichirou. “I am half-Scarran, half-Sebacean.”

Neil squinted. “But that’s impossible. Scarran resting body temperature is high enough to debilitate Sebaceans.”

“Hence the cooling suit.” Ichirou paused, somehow managing to make the silence menacing. “In polite conversation this would be where you introduce yourself.”

“In polite conversation I wouldn’t be strapped to a chair and at your mercy.”

“True,” said Ichirou mildly. “But seeing as you’ve attempted to infiltrate my base, I believe you’ll be at my mercy for some time.”

“ _Your_ base?” asked Neil incredulously. “Do the Peacekeepers know you think it’s yours? I imagine that they don’t like you very much— they are really against mixed-species children. They probably only keep you around like a pet. Something on a leash that they can turn on their enemies.”

“Fascinating,” said Ichirou, still preternaturally calm. “You are attempting to anger me. Perhaps so that I will lose my temper and kill you before the interrogation begins? It is a good tactic; dying is easier than what is going to happen to you.” He took a step closer. Neil struggled in his bindings. “It won’t work. I learned the value of patience long ago and I had a much crueller teacher than you can possibly imagine.”

Neil swallowed and tried to hide his fear with bravado. “So you _are_ someone’s pet.”

Ichirou shook his head, as if he were disappointed with Neil. “What is your name and species?” he said.

Neil cocked his head and grinned.

“Very well,” said Ichirou. “Commence extraction.”

It was like nothing Neil had ever felt before, like needles sticking directly into his brain. He was hot and cold and trembling uncontrollably, but above everything else was the relentless pain in his skull, pressure so intense that he was sure his brain was going to start leaking out of his ears. Memories flashed through his mind, mostly indistinct and unordered. He saw flashes of his mother, of different places he had been, of his childhood.

The pain ceased suddenly and Neil fell as far forward as his restraints allowed, panting heavily.

“Well?” said Ichirou, turning to the tech who stood at the nearby control panel.

“His neural pathways are quite different from those of a Sebacean,” replied the tech. “It will take some time to map them in order to access his memories.”

“Memories?” repeated Neil in horror. “Stay out of my mind!”

“It’s ingenious, is it not?” asked Ichirou. “My Aurora chair, of my own design. It allows me to see your memories.” He indicated a nearby screen.

“Frell you,” said Neil, starting to shake.

Ichirou ignored him. “Map his pathways but take your time,” he told the tech. “We don’t want to damage anything that may prove useful.”

The intense pain returned with more visions of his childhood— his mother, his father, Lola. He struggled to force his mind away from them; he tried to think of nothing at all.

“He’s fighting it,” said the tech, giving Neil a reprieve. “But I found something recent that might be interesting.”

He twisted a couple knobs, and Neil fell into a memory...

(Andrew’s golden brown eyes bore into him. “Who is your father?” he asked.

Neil flinched. He hadn’t been expecting that question. He hadn’t thought that anybody on board had any reason to question him about this. “Why do you ask?”

Andrew did not look impressed. “Kevin said that Ferdinand taunted you about him.” Figures that Kevin was paying more attention than Neil had assumed. Of course he would have told Andrew what the soul vampire had said.

Neil swallowed and looked away. He weighed his options. Andrew was unlikely to let this go. “He’s a prominent member of the Nebari Establishment,” he eventually said. At Andrew’s confusion he elaborated, “The rulers of my people.” The words tasted like ash in his mouth. “He’s sadistic, the type of—”)

...the memory abruptly ended.

“Nebari,” said Ichirou thoughtfully. “You _are_ interesting, aren’t you?”

Neil resolutely did not think of other people who had called him interesting.

“That man he was speaking with, he looked Sebacean,” said Ichirou. “Run his face against known Peacekeepers.” He stepped closer to Neil and cradled his cheek. Neil tried to jerk away but he was held fast. “I want to know everything there is to know about you, little spy.”

* * *

Kevin kept his head down and tried to take deep breaths through the panic that kept bubbling in his chest. Katelyn had procured a tech jumpsuit for him; the olive-green garment was slightly too small and was riding up uncomfortably as he walked.

“Keep your gaze lowered and stay to the side of the hallways,” Katelyn had advised. “Soldiers pay no attention to techs, so there should be no reason for anyone to look at or recognize you.”

She’d given him the enzyme and picked up her case of tools. “I can’t access the main grid from here,” she said. “Follow me and don’t look suspicious.”

Kevin suspected that his tension made his attempts to remain inconspicuous subpar, but at least Katelyn was correct that the soldiers who were searching the base barely spared a glance for a couple of techs. He dutifully followed Katelyn through the maze of hallways until she climbed into an access shaft.

“I should be able to setup a bypass and access main control from here,” she murmured.

“Then what?” he hissed.

“Then I’ll create a distraction so you can get back to your Prowler.”

“What good will that do? They’ll shoot me down before I even make it half a kilometre— metra.”

“Easy enough,” shrugged Katelyn. “I’ll program a blind spot into the targeting system. As long as you stay on a certain trajectory they won’t be able to see you.”

“Are you sure it’ll work?”

“Pretty sure,” said Katelyn, getting to work hooking up her instruments to the surrounding panels.

“How will I know if it’s working?”

Katelyn gave him a look that meant he wasn’t going to like what she had to say. “You won’t get shot out of the sky.”

“Comforting,” huffed Kevin. He quieted down as she got to work, watching her clever fingers in fascination. He couldn’t help fidgeting nervously. He didn’t let himself think about Neil. Once Andrew was better he’d fix it, somehow.

“Alright,” said Katelyn. “Down this corridor, two lefts, and a right will get you to the hanger bay. I’ll give you a three hundred microt head start before I start the diversion.”

“Katelyn,” he said hesitantly. “They’ll know someone helped me escape.”

“Never mind that,” she said. “I’ll be fine; I can take care of myself. Just make sure that Aaron lives, okay?”

He felt guilty for the lie Neil had told her but not guilty enough to correct her. “He’ll live,” he promised. At least that was the truth. Aaron was currently locked up on Exy and in no danger of dying at all.

Kevin clapped Katelyn on the shoulder and left the access shaft. He walked quickly down the corridor, trying not to look like he was hurrying. As he approached the hanger bay, an ear-splitting siren sounded.

“WARNING, WARNING, WARNING,” came an announcement over the base’s PA system. “REACTOR CORE OVERLOAD. EVACUATION MANDATORY. REPEAT. REACTOR CORE OVERLOAD.”

Kevin couldn’t quite suppress a smile as he watched everyone in the hanger bay evacuate with military precision. It was a very effective distraction.

* * *

Neil panted heavily as the chair finished its latest round of sifting through his thoughts. He was covered in sweat, one of his eyes hurt enough that he suspected he’d burst a blood vessel, and his face was wet with tears and saliva. He didn’t care. There were times he had wished that he were dead before, but never seriously. He was a survivor; he did whatever it took to stay alive. Now, he could feel that part of him shatter. All he wanted was for the pain to stop.

“The reactor core overload was a false alarm,” said Ichirou, completely without emotion as he returned to the room. “During the emergency a Prowler left the base but we were unable to track it.”

Neil didn’t respond. Kevin had gotten away, then. At least Andrew would live.

Ichirou turned to the tech. “Clearly our spy has accomplices. I want to know who they are.”

“He’s still blocking a lot of our access,” the tech replied. “Especially to his childhood. He’s stronger mentally than I expected.”

“We will get the information we need eventually,” said Ichirou. “I want to know everything he knows about the Nebari; we’ve never caught one in order to interrogate it before. In the meantime, his more recent memories are easier to extract?”

“Yes,” said the tech. “We’ve identified the Peacekeeper as Officer Andrew Minyard. He defected and joined a group of escaped prisoners almost three quarters of a cycle ago.”

“I vaguely remember the briefing,” said Ichirou. “I believe a Command Carrier received special dispensation to follow them into the Uncharted Territories?”

“Yes,” said the tech, reading information from his console. “A Command Carrier _was_ sent, although Peacekeeper High Command has since unsuccessfully attempted to call it back.”

“Has the captain defected as well?”

“The Carrier is captained by… Riko Moriyama,” said the tech, looking up fearfully.

“Interesting,” said Ichirou. “Does the Nebari have any information pertaining to my brother?”

Pain seared into Neil’s head as a memory began…

(Ferdinand the soul vampire looked gleeful. “Riko, why are you so interested in Kevin over here?”

“He has knowledge that I want,” said Riko, sneering. “Peacekeepers get what we want.”

“I don't!” argued Kevin. “I have no idea how to summon or control wormholes.”

“And what do you say to that?” asked Ferdinand.

“That he's lying. The secrets you possess _will_ be mine.”

“And if he's hypothetically telling the truth?” said Ferdinand.

“You _know_ I'm telling the truth!” protested Kevin.

“It doesn't matter. I've staked too much on this; he won't escape me again. If he doesn't know anything then we'll cut him open and strap him down and take out all of his memories one by one until we find the answers we want.”

Neil knew he should stay silent, should stay beneath everyone’s notice, but he saw Kevin’s distress and couldn’t help himself.)

“Interesting,” said Ichirou again. “Put out a broad range communication. Call Captain Moriyama here.”

“He may ignore the summons,” cautioned the tech.

“Tell him that we’ve captured his quarry,” said Ichirou, turning his unsettling eyes back to Neil. “And resume extraction. I want to know everything this spy knows about wormholes.”

All Neil could do was laugh helplessly as the machine whirred back to life and turned his laughter into screams.

* * *

Andrew blinked awake. He was no longer hooked up to the tubing from Exy and his breathing felt deep and even. Despite all odds, he was healed.

Renee was again sitting by his bedside. She smiled when she saw he was awake.

“Welcome back,” she said.

“I’m not going to die?”

“Of course you’re going to die,” she replied. “Just not today.”

“Kevin and Neil succeeded?” He let his disbelief colour his words.

There was an infinitesimal pause. “Yes.”

“And Aaron donated the tissue, despite the fact that you imprisoned him?”

“We didn’t offer him much choice.”

“Where are Kevin and Neil? I want to see them.” He didn’t believe that they could have infiltrated a Peacekeeper Gammak base without some kind of catastrophe befalling them. He promised both of them protection and he needed to make sure he hadn’t broken his promise.

“Resting,” said Renee. There was something off about her tone, something she was keeping from him, but he was so drowsy he couldn’t quite focus on it properly. “As you should be. Sleep now; you can see them when you wake up.”

“You’re hiding something.”

“It can wait until you’re back on your feet.”

A terrifying thought occurred to him. “My Prowler? Did something happen to my Prowler?”

“Your Prowler is fine,” Renee soothed. “Sleep.”

Andrew wanted to ask follow up questions, but he could feel sleep dragging him down. No matter. As long as Kevin and Neil were back on Exy it couldn’t be too serious a problem.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains torture, murder, and references to past rape/non-con.

Neil came awake to someone’s hands on him. He lashed out; he couldn’t remember where he was or what was happening, but he knew that he didn’t want anyone touching him.

“Don’t touch me,” he snarled, rolling to avoid the hesitant contact. He pushed himself away from the other person, sliding across the concrete floor until he was braced up against the wall. He surveyed his surroundings: he was in a small, unfurnished, concrete cell. He vaguely remembered being dumped in here once Ichirou had decided he needed a break from the chair. He’d apparently passed out without even noticing that someone else was sharing the room.

He focused on the other occupant of the cell. He was tall and Sebaceanoid, with skin so dark he disappeared into the shadows, and a metal mask that covered half his face. He was dressed in rags and looked as beaten down as Neil currently felt.

“Who are you?” Neil rasped, his throat raw from hours of screaming.

“Another one of Ichirou’s illustrious guests,” said the man. “My name is Jean.” He examined Neil curiously. “I had forgotten that other people existed.”

“I’m Neil,” he responded. There was always the chance that this man wasn’t really a prisoner, was instead an affiliate of Ichirou’s sent to subtly question him, but Neil was far too exhausted to care. Besides, what need did Ichirou have for trickery? He would forcibly pry all of Neil’s secrets out of his head eventually.

“What brought you to Ichirou’s attention?” Jean asked.

Neil barked a single laugh, the sound completely mirthless. “I broke in to steal something.”

“That was very stupid.”

“Yeah,” said Neil, hanging his head. “It was.”

* * *

Kevin couldn’t look at anyone. He remembered the looks of disgust that Dan and M’Att had shot him when they’d found he’d left Neil behind. He couldn’t think of anything to say to defend himself.

“What are we waiting for?” demanded Seth. “It’s been over two solars since the human returned. Let’s starburst the yotz away from here.”

“There’s the little matter of Neil being held captive,” said Dan acidly.

“What do we care about that? It’s his own fault for attempting to infiltrate a Gammak base. He’s only gotten what he deserves.”

“There is also the matter of Moriyama’s Command Carrier showing up and blocking our escape route,” said Wymack.

“Do they know we’re here?” asked Nicky fretfully.

“No, we’re still hidden in the gas giant’s upper atmosphere,” said Renee. “But we’re not going anywhere until it does.”

“And we’re certainly not going anywhere without Neil!” said M’Att forcefully.

“And where, exactly, is Neil?” asked Andrew. Everyone jumped in surprise. As far as they’d known he’d still been sleeping off his injury in the medical bay. His face was placid and his words had been calm, but there was something coiled and angry about him like a panther waiting to strike.

“Still in the Gammak base,” said Dan. “He was captured by the Peacekeepers.”

Andrew’s gaze shifted to Renee. “Was he,” he said blandly.

“There was nothing you could have done while recovering from your injury,” she said, not apologetic. “You should still be resting.”

“I’ll rest when I’m dead,” said Andrew. “Right now I’ve apparently got a Gammak base to infiltrate. Kevin?” he said, turning to look at him.

“Yes?” Kevin replied fretfully, wondering if Andrew was angry with him.

“Stay here and try not to get into any trouble while I’m gone.”

Kevin lowered his eyes and nodded.

“That’s it?” said Seth. “You’ve just unilaterally decided to mount a rescue mission? What about democracy and consensus? Shouldn’t we have a vote?”

“You stay here and vote,” said Andrew. “I’m going to get Neil.” He turned to where Aaron was sitting, chained up, sneering at all of them. They’d brought him here to ask questions about the Command Carrier but so far he’d refused to speak to them. “Anything to say?”

Aaron’s eyes were intense. “I knew you were a traitor, but I had no idea how much of a traitor you actually are.”

“Anything useful?” said Andrew. “You have knowledge of the base.”

“I know that your… _friend_ —” the disdain he placed on the word was palpable “—has been in the hands of Ichirou Moriyama for two solars. Don’t throw your life away to save a corpse.”

Andrew’s jaw worked, the only visible indication that Aaron’s words affected him in any way. “I am going for him. So I ask one last time: do you have any recommendations?”

Aaron sighed in exasperation. “I recommend you take down a bucket without any holes so that his liquid remains are not lost. He’s already dead, Andrew.”

Andrew didn’t reply, simply turning and striding away, his back tense. Dan and M’Att shared a long look before following him, Renee joining them.

“Even if that Command Carrier moves, you’re not to starburst away until we’re back on board,” said Dan. She seemed to be directing her remark to Allison.

“Yeah, yeah. Try not to die,” said Allison, waving one of her hands. She hesitated before adding, “Bring the little monochrome weirdo back home, will you?”

* * *

“This is not who I want,” said Captain Riko Moriyama imperiously, looking down at where Neil was strapped into the Aurora chair.

“Said everyone, ever, when they see you,” said Neil, grinning. He’d bitten through his lip during the last memory extraction so he imagined his teeth were bloody.

Riko struck his cheek. “You will speak to me with respect,” he snarled, leaning close.

Neil spat in his face. He’d been right: the spit was tinged with blue.

Riko raised his arm again. It was caught it what appeared to be an iron grip by Ichirou.

“Do not damage my prisoner,” said Ichirou. He was completely calm and controlled; Riko shrank a little under his gaze. “He is goading you. Learn restraint.”

Riko shook him off and straightened his uniform. “Your message said you had the one who knows about wormholes.”

“Odd that you’ve taken an interest in what I have been studying for years, brother,” said Ichirou.

Riko flushed angrily. “I am _not_ your brother,” he hissed. “Your father was a Scarran and your mother was a weakling who allowed herself to be violated by him.”

“Our father took me in and calls me his son,” said Ichirou dispassionately. “He would not be pleased to hear you say such things about his late sister.”

“ _My_ father must have been hoodwinked by you in some manner. _I_ should be his favourite as I am his only true son.”

“No one would be proud to call you son. You are reckless and headstrong and much less intelligent than you believe,” said Ichirou. Riko looked ready to protest, but quailed at something in Ichirou’s expression. “You should have contacted me about the fugitives as soon as possible, but you tried to snatch glory for yourself. All might have been lost if I had not caught this spy.” Ichirou’s voice was melodious. Neil felt as if he were luring his brother into a trap. “I know that Kevin Day currently resides on a Leviathan called Exy. I know that he is under the protection of a defected Peacekeeper named Officer Andrew Minyard.” He looked at Riko. “I wish to know more about him.”

“His species is primitive, only one planet—”

“Not Day,” said Ichirou. “Minyard. He was under your command, was he not?”

“Am I to know all the grunts who serve under me?”

“One of your senior officers had Minyard and Day in his grasp before they escaped.”

“Commander Spear, yes,” said Riko. “He was punished for his failure.”

“Bring him to me,” said Ichirou, gesturing to where Neil was sitting. “I want to question him.”

“In the chair?” asked Riko. “Preposterous! Senior officers are not to be subjected to—”

“You spout rules at me? When you have so blatantly disregarded them in your pursuit of the escaped Leviathan?” said Ichirou. “They matter little. I have been given supreme command of this Gammak base; what I say is law. Give me Spear or I will be forced to question _you_.”

Riko scowled, but his eyes gave away his fear.

* * *

It would have been faster for Andrew to take his Prowler, but M’Att, Dan, and Renee insisted on accompanying him. They couldn’t come into the base with him without drawing notice, but he wasn’t about to deny backup; however, it would be preferable if Renee would stop giving him worried looks.

“Save your worry for Neil,” he said. “I imagine that he won’t be in very good shape after whatever interrogation he’s undergone.” He dismissed Aaron’s words that echoed in his thoughts. Neil wasn’t dead.

“I am capable of worrying for both of you,” she said.

Andrew shook his head and refocused on the transport pod’s trajectory. “Any sign they’ve spotted us?”

“The scanning blind that Katelyn created seems to be holding,” said M’Att.

“Katelyn?” asked Andrew, wondering what she had to do with anything.

“She’s the one who helped Kevin escape with the enzyme,” said Dan.

“Why would she do that?”

“Apparently Neil led her to believe that it was Aaron who had a damaged paraphoral nerve.”

“Of course he did,” said Andrew. He wasn’t sure why Neil had agreed to infiltrated the base instead of running, but it was unsurprising that he lied as much as possible once he did.

M’Att landed the pod on top of the base. Up here there weren’t any sensors since their presence would give away the location of the base. It didn’t take long before Andrew found an access shaft.

“We’ll stay and guard your exit route,” said M’Att.

“I will plant explosives,” added Renee. Andrew gave her a look. She appeared unrepentant. “I spent most of my youth as an anarchist. Of course I know my way around explosives.”

Andrew shook his head. “Stay alert. I’ll try to be quick.”

He was more exhausted then he was letting on. He wanted nothing more to be resting in comfort aboard Exy, but he wasn’t about to let Neil martyr himself for him. He steeled himself and headed down the stairs of the access shaft.

The base made him feel vaguely homesick. He’d only ever served in space, but the utilitarian lines of the hallways were familiar, as were the uniforms and personnel. He headed away from the access shaft, not quite sure where to begin searching as he had a vague idea of the layout of the base. He was still weighing his options when a flash of auburn hair caught his attention.

He followed the tech into a secluded access corridor. She didn’t clock his presence until he moved directly behind her. He pushed her into the wall as she whirled.

“Aar— Andrew?” she said. “What are you doing here? Where’s Aaron? Is he alright?”

“He’s alive,” said Andrew. “I’ll even return him to you once I’ve retrieved my crewmate.”

“No!” she said desperately. “You can’t!”

Andrew raised an eyebrow in question.

“They’ve put out a decommission notice for all Minyard clones,” she said, lowering her voice. “If he reports for duty he’ll be killed.”

Andrew was surprised. There weren’t very many Minyard clones— only about six still alive, he thought, or maybe seven— but to have them all killed because of his actions… And why now? Why not when he’d first defected?

Those concerns were secondary; he was here on a mission. “I’m here to rescue my crewmate,” he said.

“You want my help?” she correctly guessed, her tone scornful. “Why would I _possibly_ help you?”

“Two reasons,” said Andrew. “Aaron’s continued welfare and this gun.” He shoved it into her ribs for emphasis.

Tears glistened in her eyes. “This is all your fault!” she said. “I’ll never see him again because you’re a traitor.”

“You could,” he said, making a split-second decision. “Help me retrieve Neil and I’ll take you with us when we leave. You and Aaron can live together happily ever after,” he sneered.

She faltered. “This is everything I’ve ever known. You want me to leave?”

“I don’t care what you do,” he told her honestly. “It’s your choice: help me or never see Aaron again.”

* * *

Neil could feel himself trembling uncontrollably. He didn’t know how much more of this treatment he could endure.

“How long have you been here?” he asked Jean, his voice completely broken.

“I don’t know exactly,” said Jean. “Cycles.”

Neil wheezed before laughing hysterically. “How…” he gasped, trying to talk through his panicked giggles. “How are you still alive?”

“It’s easier once you stop resisting.”

“What more could they possibly want from you?”

“I am a Banik,” said Jean.

“I’ve heard of your people,” said Neil. “You serve the Scarrans.”

“Not willingly.” Jean inclined his head. “The Peacekeepers are frightened of the Scarrans; they want to find a way to defeat them.”

“And you know a way to beat them?” asked Neil dubiously.

“I do not,” said Jean. “But the chair doesn’t work properly on someone with my… unique abilities. That has provided a source of frustration to Ichirou. He is determined to break my mind open.”

“Unique abilities?”

Jean moved to where Neil lay prone, shivers wracking his body in intervals. He sat, and pulled Neil into his lap, almost cradling him. Reaching up, he undid the straps that kept his metal mask in place, and lowered it. The left side of his face was not made up of flesh and bone, but of light. Warm, golden light, which seemed to infuse into Neil’s bones, wrapping him in peace and warmth.

“What is that?”

“It is an uncommon ability, among my people,” said Jean softly. “I can soothe troubled minds or help people peacefully pass into death. And it masks my thoughts from the chair.”

Neil closed his eyes, letting indistinct memories of joy and happiness roll through him. He didn’t know if they were his memories or Jean’s.

“Rest, Neil,” said Jean softly, stroking his hair.

Neil had no idea how long the two of them sat together. They were roused by a muffled conversation outside the cell door.

“—no reason. You cannot just muscle your way in; you have no authority here,” said an officious voice.

“I am from Captain Moriyama’s ship and we have picked up strange signals emanating from this cell.” The voice that replied sent a thrill through Neil. He felt safe, although that was probably a side effect from whatever Jean had done.

“I don’t care whose ship you’re from; I’m not opening this cell for any—” the voice cut off abruptly. “That’s odd. Neither of the prisoners should have—”

“And yet they must,” said the voice that made Neil think he was dreaming. “Clearly the prisoners have something they shouldn’t. Open this cell now.”

There was a clinking noise and the cell door swung open. A guard took a step in, before slumping unconscious having been knocked out by the man behind him.

Andrew looked down at Neil, something in his expression that Neil didn’t recognize. “Neil.”

“Andrew,” croaked Neil, from where he was still draped across Jean. “You’re better. Why are you here?”

“Why do you think?” said Andrew. “Get up and get moving before anyone else shows up.” He pulled Neil to his feet. Jean stood too, and steadied Neil as he wavered. Andrew looked between them. “Keep him upright and follow me,” he said. Jean hesitated slightly. “Or stay in your cell. Makes no difference to me.”

It was a harrowing experience, sneaking through the hallways of the base. Andrew took point, ushering Jean and Neil from hiding spot to hiding spot. Neil wanted nothing more than to collapse but his pure stubbornness kept him on his feet and moving toward freedom.

“Almost there,” said Andrew, who really should have known better than to test their luck. An alarm started blaring as soon as he spoke. Andrew swore. “Guess they noticed you were gone,” he said, and picked up the pace.

Katelyn was waiting for them at the end of the next corridor. “Problem,” she hissed, and directed them to a grate in the floor.

“It worked?” she asked breathlessly, holding up the grate to reveal a crawlspace underneath. “The guard picked up the false readings?”

“Obviously, since I got them out of their cell,” said Andrew shortly, as he pushed Neil down into the hiding spot.

Dropping down into the crawlspace, Neil curled up as small as possible so that all four of them could fit in the cramped space. Katelyn pulled the grating down over top of them and they all fell silent.

They could hear boot steps on the floor above their heads and muffled commands, but they were not discovered. The searchers moved away before long.

“The access shaft?” asked Andrew in a whisper.

Katelyn shook her head. “The base is in lockdown,” she whispered back. “Only a senior officer’s ident chip can override it.”

Neil groaned and started to hoist himself up. “Guess we’ve got to bag a senior officer.”

Andrew caught his shoulder and pushed him back down. “ _I’ll_ go bag a senior officer,” he said. “You rest so that when we inevitably have to run from people shooting at us, you won’t collapse.”

“You can’t lift a chip without being seen,” argued Neil.

“I blend in better than you do,” said Andrew. “Besides,” he continued, adjusting his pulse weapon, “who says I don’t want to be seen?”

* * *

Andrew headed back the way they’d come, assuming that he wasn’t going to come across a senior officer doing grots’ work like methodically searching for escaped prisoners. It was only chance that he came across the room housing the Aurora chair— the memory extracting chair that Katelyn had told him about.

He had half a thought of dismantling it somehow— anything that could make Neil look so broken deserved to be smashed into tiny pieces— but he couldn’t spare the time. As he passed the seemingly-empty room, it caught his eye that someone had been left strapped in the chair while the others responded to the alarm.

Andrew took a couple steps closer and inhaled sharply when he recognized the man in the chair. “Commander Spear,” he said, the words slipping out without his permission.

“Who’s there?” demanded Drake Spear, his eyes wild. He was completely dishevelled. He’d bit his lip and he had tear tracks down his face. It was a good look for him.

Andrew stepped into his line of sight. Spear’s face morphed into recognition and then anger.

“Get me out of this chair,” he spat. “Minyard.”

Andrew watched him passively.

Spear’s expression turned pleading. “They want to kill you, you know? You Minyard clones are defective. You were bred to be loyal… but they can’t genetically program who you’re loyal to. Too many of you chose loyalty to something that wasn’t Peacekeeper command for them to keep you around.”

Andrew still did not react, although his thoughts were churning. It hadn’t just been him, then, although he supposed that he already knew that. Aaron had forbidden loyalty to Katelyn, didn’t he?

Spear was getting desperate. “Three, is that you? I know it’s you, I can recognize you anywhere. I’ll get them to lift the order against you. You won’t be irreversibly contaminated, you won’t be decommissioned. You can come home.” When Andrew still didn’t move to help him, he became angry. “I _order_ you to—”

“You order me?” said Andrew, cutting across his words. “You have no authority over me. I am no longer a Peacekeeper. You cannot order me to do anything ever again.” So many times this man had taken advantage of Andrew’s lower position in Peacekeeper hierarchy. He was never again to be ordered into his bed, never again to be ordered to beg and plead for Spear's sick satisfaction. He was free.

“When I get out of this chair, I am going to—”

“You are going to do nothing,” said Andrew, taking a step forward and snapping the cord that held Spear’s ident chip around his neck. “This chair, it dredges up memories, yes?” He walked over to the control console. “If I show you your life maybe you can pinpoint exactly where you went wrong with me. Hint: it was the first time you touched me without permission.” He examined the console; Katelyn had told him that the chair could be fatal. “I hear it’s a very painful process. I hope you die in agony.” He flipped all the switches and turned up the dial into the red zone.

He couldn’t help the small smile that came over his face as he left the room, Spear’s agonized screams echoing in his ears.

* * *

“Who are they?” asked Dan, pointing at Jean and Katelyn as the two of them followed Andrew and Neil out of the access shaft that Andrew had accessed using the ident chip he'd stolen. Neil had wanted to ask him how he'd gotten it but he was too tired and Andrew didn't seem willing to share.

“They’re coming with us,” said Andrew.

“What?” asked M’Att.

“They helped us escape. Are you just going to abandon them here?”

“Abandon?” echoed Katelyn.

Dan rolled her eyes. “Come on; it’s high time we got off this oily moon.”

“I also vote for leaving,” said Neil. He had a tremor in his hand that he was ignoring and his throat still sounded raw.

M’Att winced and lifted Neil securely into his arms.

“I’m fine,” said Neil. “I can walk.”

M’Att’s expression was fierce. “You are clearly in pain. If we had time I would track down the person who did this and break him into pieces.”

“I would prefer you stayed far away from him,” said Neil. “Damaging his base is good enough.” He decided against struggling further and let M’Att carry him onto the transport pod. He meant to only close his eyes for a moment; he wanted to see the explosion that Andrew had promised him. A soft touch on his arm made him thrash and blink around in confusion. Everyone was on the pod and they’d taken off; he could see stars through the viewer.

Andrew was in front of him, backing up a couple steps with his hands raised in front of him. “Neil, you’re safe,” he said.

“How do I know I’m not still in the chair?” said Neil desperately. “Maybe this is just a memory. Or maybe my mind is so broken that I’m imagining it. There’s nothing you can say—”

“I love you,” said Andrew.

Neil felt a swooping sensation in his stomach. “What?”

“I said I love you, Neil.”

“Oh, so I did hear you properly,” said Neil, his heart beating wildly. “I repeat: what?”

“You’re not in a memory,” said Andrew. “This is not something you imagined. This is real and you are really here.”

“But—” Neil gaped at him.

“Don’t look so worried; it’s not true,” said Andrew, cutting off Neil’s floundering.

Neil’s heart rate recovered. Of course it was a lie. Which was good; he didn’t want Andrew to be in love with him. “Then why…?”

Andrew shrugged. “You needed to be shocked out of your panic spiral. An outlandish lie was the easiest way to achieve that.”

“I mean, you probably could have said that Kevin has decided to give up studying wormholes,” said M’Att, suppressed laughter in his voice.

“Or that Seth was adamant we send a rescue party,” added Dan.

“Or that Allison and Aaron are now best friends,” said Renee.

As the others continued coming up with increasingly absurd situations, Andrew approached and pulled Neil against him, his hand on the back of his neck. He adjusted his stance to better support his weight. “You’re safe now,” he said quietly.

Neil let himself lean on Andrew, closing his eyes and trying to believe him.

* * *

Kevin couldn’t stop staring at Neil. It had been less than three solars since they’d last seen each other and Neil looked wrecked. He wasn't visibly wounded, but his eyes had veins of light blue running through them (Kevin assumed that this was what bloodshot looked like for a Nebari) and he had dark circles underneath them, dark enough that it looked almost like ink. He was holding himself stiffly and his eyes darted around. It was the jumpiest Kevin had seen him since his first few solars aboard.

“There is an incoming transmission from the Command Carrier,” announced Wymack.

“Have they found us?” asked Dan.

“They are aware we're here somewhere,” said Wymack, “but we're still hidden for the moment. It is a broad range communication.”

“Go ahead and play it, please, Wymack,” said Renee.

“Attention crew of the Leviathan Exy,” said a smooth, male voice. Neil and the metal-masked Phantom of the Opera lookalike that had returned with him both shuddered at the sound. Kevin guessed that this was their captor. “This is Ichirou Moriyama. I have a proposition for you. Send the human Kevin Day to me and the rest of you can leave without incident. Your records will be wiped clean and you will be free to return to your homes. You have one arn to decided.”

Kevin gulped as a brief silence followed the end of the transmission.

“Is there anything we can do?” asked Dan helplessly.

“They're completely blocking our exit path,” said Allison. Kevin was amazed that she hadn’t advocated for handing Kevin over to the Peacekeepers.

“Can we make a run for it? Let our DS protect us?” asked M'Att.

Kevin started shaking his head immediately, as did Katelyn. “The DS we scavenged from the Terrapin was only partially functional,” she said. “It'll only withstand one, maybe two, hits from the frag cannons.”

Allison glared at Katelyn, who glared back. Neither Allison nor Seth had been pleased that when the others returned with Neil they'd also brought two strangers with them. Katelyn, in turn, had been furious to discover that Aaron was being held prisoner. He'd been freed once Katelyn had explained about the decommission order of the Minyard clones, since now his only option for survival was to stay with them.

“So we have to draw the Command Carrier out of position,” said M'Att.

“Or destroy it,” said Renee. “Tell them we’re sending Kevin in a transport pod but instead send one filled with explosives and ram it into them at high speed.” It seemed a remarkably violent idea to come from Renee.

“That won't work,” said Aaron. At Allison's furious glower, he shrugged. “Well it _won't_.”

“He's right,” said Andrew. “Peacekeeper protocol is to shoot down the pod as soon as it veers away from a docking trajectory. It won’t get close enough to do any damage.”

“What if we sent the pod to the moon,” said Neil, without inflection. “Destroy Ichirou’s base.”

Katelyn's eyes widened. “The moon is covered in oil. A big enough explosion and…”

“Boom,” said Allison. “Would the Command Carrier move to stop the pod?”

“Possibly,” said Katelyn. “It's a high value research base. The Moriyamas are convinced that wormhole technology will allow Peacekeepers supremacy over this region of space. They really want to protect that base.”

“What's the idea here? One of us will sacrifice ourselves by flying the pod into the moon in the hopes that the others can escape?” asked Nicky.

“They don't need to fly _all_ the way there,” said Renee. “Once it's in the moon's gravitational field they can plot the collision course and eject.”

“And I can retrieve them in my Prowler,” offered Andrew.

“Who is going to go?” asked Nicky.

“I will,” said M'Att stoutly. “I can survive up to a quarter arn in vacuum.”

“One problem,” said Neil, his voice hoarse. “Ichirou wants Kevin and his wormhole knowledge. Unless Kevin's on the pod, I’m not convinced they'll go after it. He won't want to chance Kevin’s escape.”

“I _don't know_ how to make a wormhole,” said Kevin in frustration.

Neil looked at him for the first time since he’d been rescued. “Taken out of context, the memories he managed to pry from my head indicate the opposite.” He sounded completely detached.

Kevin closed his eyes. “Okay,” he said. “Into the flying bomb I go, I guess.”

* * *

“Kronite shavings?” said Kevin, eyeing the large containers that M’Att, Andrew, Renee, and Dan were lugging on board one of the transport pods. “They’re explosive?” The containers had been filled by DRDs collecting the metal shavings from the floor of the cargo holds.

“Not until they’re mixed with lutra oil,” said Renee, gesturing to several syringes of yellowish fluid. “Once you get close enough to the moon, inject the oil. The containers will become highly volatile. They’ll explode at the slightest provocation.”

“Such as slamming into the surface of a moon?” Dan’s voice wavered.

“We’ll be out of the pod by then,” said M’Att, his tone reassuring.

“You’d better be,” said Dan, fiercely. “I’d never forgive you if you made me care about you and then got yourself stupidly blown up.”

Kevin stepped back to give them some privacy. Andrew exited the pod as well, heading to grab another container. He raised an eyebrow when he caught Kevin watching him.

“I thought I’d live much longer than this,” said Kevin.

Andrew’s bored expression didn’t waver. “I never thought I’d live this long,” he replied. He let that sit for a couple beats before continuing, “But you’re not dying today. You’ll float in space for several hundred microts and I’ll come get you. I promised you, didn’t I?”

“You did,” admitted Kevin.

“I don’t break my promises,” said Andrew.

Kevin looked at him, trying to absorb some of his courage and certainty. He closed his eyes tightly and nodded.

Dan exited the pod, giving quick, last-minute instructions as Kevin pulled on his EVA suit. “There will only be about a quarter arn before M’Att loses consciousness,” she said.

“I’ll be there,” said Andrew.

“There may be other Prowlers from the Command Carrier—”

“I’ll be there,” repeated Andrew, his tone finite.

Dan grimaced. “Alright…” she said slowly. She looked to M’Att.

“No goodbyes,” said M’Att. “We’ll be back in half an arn.” He paused. “Or we’ll be tiny flaming bits. Either way, a goodbye won’t help.”

“That’s great, M’Att, thanks,” said Kevin sarcastically, heading into the transport pod.

“Kevin,” said Andrew. Kevin turned back. “Don’t forget to breathe.”

* * *

“Peacekeeper voice traffic indicates that they’re aware of your presence and destination,” Wymack’s voice came over comms.

“Are they following us?” asked M’Att.

“No.”

M’Att tapped a couple buttons on his console. “How about now?”

“What did you do?” asked Kevin.

“I dropped the scanning block so they can determine our identities.”

“Command Carrier is breaking position to pursue,” said Andrew over comms.

“Hey, uh,” said Kevin. “I forgot to ask before. What’s to stop them from just shooting us out of the sky?” His breathing had picked up a couple notches.

“Neil’s belief that Ichirou wants you alive,” said M’Att.

“Well, that’s fine, then,” said Kevin in a strangled voice. “Neil’s known to be pretty trustworthy.”

M’Att grinned. “It’ll be fine. Besides, you’re the one who once said you’d rather go down on a swing.”

Kevin tried to parse that. “Go down swinging,” he corrected.

M’Att shrugged and indicated the lutra oil. “Renee said to inject it into the largest container to start a chain reaction.”

“How much time do we have after that before it explodes?”

“She was vague to the point that I suspect she doesn’t have a clue,” said M’Att, weirdly cheerful.

“There is a Prowler squadron in pursuit,” came Andrew’s voice. “Formation suggests that they’ve been instructed to capture you alive.”

“Huh,” said M’Att. “I guess Neil was right. Inject the lutra oil. It’s time to skedaddle.”

“Seriously?” said Kevin, getting up to do as M’Att had instructed. “You don’t know what a cow is but your language has a word that translates as skedaddle?”

M’Att shot him a surprised look. “Why wouldn’t we? It’s a common word.” He rose from the pilot’s seat as Kevin finished the injection. “I’ve set a collision course. Get your helmet on.”

Kevin nodded, put on his helmet, and followed M’Att to the airlock, securing himself to M’Att with a cable.

“Ejecting now,” said M’Att, as he hit the release.

The next little bit was a blur to Kevin as he focused on keeping his breathing calm and even. The inside of his mask fogged up almost instantly. Everything seemed to happen in flashes: he and M’Att were blown out of the airlock; he was unable to get his bearings as they flipped around from the force of decompression; minutes later (each of which seemed to last an hour), the nearby moon turned bright orange as the transport pod hit it and ignited; a black beast of a Prowler appeared as if from nowhere, scooping them out of space; Andrew expertly piloted back to Exy, weaving and dodging. It was like nothing Kevin had ever experienced, not even flying fighter jets. The Prowler moved in a way that wasn’t possible in gravity and Andrew was extremely talented. He evaded or shot down the pursuing Prowlers.

“Get ready to lower the DS,” Andrew told Wymack as they approached Exy’s outer docking door. “Five, four, three, two…”

The red shielding around Exy winked out of existence. Andrew flew down the docking tube.

“We’re aboard,” he reported.

“Prepare for immediate starburst,” said Wymack.

Kevin closed his eyes and braced himself. He couldn’t believe that their plan had worked. They had escaped.

* * *

Andrew had been searching for Neil for over an arn when he found him in the observation lounge, staring blankly out into space. He’d already checked there, twice, given Neil’s preference for the view.

“I thought you’d have given up by now,” said Neil, without turning from the viewport.

“Were you here before?”

Neil wordlessly pointed at the vent in the ceiling. “What do you want?” he asked tiredly. “Everyone can stop checking up on me; I’m fine.”

“I doubt you’ve ever been fine in your life,” said Andrew.

Neil huffed but didn’t correct him.

“Why did you do it?” demanded Andrew.

“Is this a thank you?” replied Neil. “I went because Kevin was going and I knew he’d need help. No one else could do it and lying is what I’m best at.”

“Clearly,” said Andrew dryly. “You keep claiming that you’re fine.”

“I am,” said Neil. “Worse things have happened to me.”

Andrew didn’t want to think about that. “Next time let me die.”

“If I do that, who will kill me when the time comes?” said Neil sardonically.

“I was being serious.”

“So was I,” said Neil. He turned to pin Andrew with a sharp look. “No. I’m not losing you; not if there’s something I can do about it.”

“I hate you,” said Andrew. He had a strange feeling in his chest that he didn’t recognize.

“Good,” said Neil, turning back to the viewport. “It’ll be easier that way.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pssst. It's my birthday! I'm keeping up my birthday tradition of posting a new chapter in an ongoing WIP.

“Wymack, where’s Neil?” asked Kevin.

“I’m… not sure,” said Wymack slowly. “None of the DRDs know his location and he’s only answering his comm to claim that he is ‘fine’.” Wymack was generally hard to read, easily the most alien being on Exy, but right now his sarcasm was evident.

“At least he’s still on board,” said Kevin; he’d been worried that Neil might run following his recent ordeal.

He sighed and surveyed his module. Katelyn had been invaluable in helping him successfully integrate the Leviathan upgrades. She and Aaron were still on board; Jean, too. There had been a massive argument about letting them stay. Allison and Seth had wanted to dump the Peacekeepers as soon as possible and had only agreed to let them stay once Katelyn promised that she was working on repairing the cesium fuel leak in the malfunctioning Marauder. After it was fixed, the agreement was that she and Aaron would leave. In the meantime, they didn’t have a say in where they went or what they did. The rest of them had voted that Jean, as a former prisoner with nowhere to go, was allowed to stay without conditions.

It had been tense for the last fifteen or so solars since their destruction of the Gammak base. Neil was pretending that he was completely fine and unaffected by his brief captivity, but he was jumpier than he had ever been and was spending a lot of time hiding. Andrew and Aaron were resolutely ignoring each other; in fact, Aaron was making his dislike for all of them very clear. The only one who he was even slightly friendly with (other than Katelyn) was Nicky.

“Have the DRDs prep my module for launch and tell Neil to meet me in the maintenance bay,” Kevin said, making up his mind. If Neil didn't show up then he'd go alone.

Wymack's resulting silence was very judgmental. “Are you sure—”

“Yes,” said Kevin. “I need to take readings.”

He busied himself getting ready to take his modified module out.

It was Andrew, not Neil, who appeared in the maintenance bay before long. “Wymack says you're acting even stupider than usual and being stubborn about it,” he said tonelessly.

“I highly doubt he used those exact words.”

Andrew didn’t reply, instead watching Kevin expectantly.

“This planet’s sun is producing solar flares,” Kevin explained, doing a final pre-flight check of the exterior of his module.

“I'm aware. Communication with the transport pod on the surface is shot.”

“I think it was a solar flare that produced the radiation wave that created the wormhole,” said Kevin. “I'm taking my module out to take readings.”

Andrew gave the module a look of distaste. “You haven't tested your modifications yet.”

“They should be fine. I had Katelyn check my work.”

“You're planning on going alone?”

“Neil's coming with me,” said Kevin.

“Neil's hiding in the vents,” said Andrew dryly.

“Then yes, I'll go alone,” replied Kevin. He set his chin stubbornly.

Andrew rolled his eyes. “I'm flying,” he said, moving to where the flight suits were stored. “And if we get caught in some invisible net again I'm ejecting you into space. Without a suit.”

Kevin did not particularly want to let Andrew touch his module but he knew this was the best offer he'd get. Plus, without Neil, he'd have to calibrate his own data recorders and Andrew _was_ a much better flier and more familiar with Leviathan technology than he was.

Less than a quarter arn later, they were zipping through the nearby planet's upper atmosphere, trying out the slingshot manoeuver that Kevin had invented.

“You really think a solar flare was responsible for your unplanned trip?” asked Andrew.

“Some combination of the radiation from the solar flare and the slingshot manoeuver, yeah,” said Kevin distractedly, adjusting his instruments.

“The slingshot manoeuver I'm currently doing?” said Andrew, slightly alarmed. “Kevin, are you trying to make a wormhole _right now_?”

“Well, yeah,” said Kevin. “A proof-of-concept would be nice.”

“If we end up on the other side of the universe I'm going to…” Andrew floundered. “I don't even know, but it's going to be bad.”

“Uh huh,” replied Kevin. He was barely listening. “Turn three degrees port.”

Andrew swore but did as he said. They encountered some turbulence and when Kevin was sure he wasn't going to vomit, he glanced up through the cockpit window… into a swirling, silvery-blue tunnel.

“That's a wormhole,” he said, dazed. He squinted into it. Was Earth on the other side? Had he found a way home?

“It's unstable,” said Andrew, his voice tense. “Full reverse thrusters.”

Kevin wasn't paying attention, he was mesmerized by the sight of the wormhole. His module started vibrating violently.

“Kevin,” said Andrew sharply. “Full reverse thrusters, _now_.”

Kevin snapped himself out of his daze and engaged the reverse engines. Andrew, grumbling about primitive technology, managed to get them clear of the wormhole just as it collapsed.

“A wormhole,” marvelled Kevin. “A wormhole! Andrew, did you see? We made a wormhole!”

“I saw that if you'd been the one in control you would have flown directly into it, no matter who was in the module with you or how unstable the wormhole was.”

“It could have been my way home,” protested Kevin.

“You could have either killed me or stranded me somewhere I've repeatedly said I've no interest in being,” said Andrew. “I’m not sure which is worse. We're heading back to Exy.”

“Andrew, no! We've got to stay! I promise I only want readings; we can't leave now, we just made a wormhole!”

“Wymack, do you copy?” said Andrew, ignoring him. “Open the outer doors, we're on our way back.”

“Exy is reading external damage to your ship,” said Wymack.

Andrew paused and examined his readouts. “Confirmed,” he said. “There’s a plasma leak in the starboard propulsor.”

“I can fix it if we isolate it in the maintenance bay,” said Kevin.

“Not without risking an explosion that could seriously damage Exy,” said Andrew.

“Prepare to eject and I'll pull you in with the docking web,” said Wymack.

Andrew nodded, despite the fact that Wymack couldn’t see them. “Is your helmet on?” he asked Kevin.

“No!” said Kevin. “We're not doing that! I’m not losing my module! I can fix the damage.”

“Not in space you can't,” said Andrew.

That stymied Kevin for an instant before he caught sight of the nearby planet. “The planet!” he cried. “The others went down to trade, right? Katelyn went looking for parts; there must be a mechanic or something.”

“I can send you the coordinates where the transport pod landed,” offered Wymack.

“Good,” said Kevin. “We need to get the module fixed.”

“No, actually, _you_ need to get the module fixed,” said Andrew.

“I need your help.”

“As usual,” Andrew scoffed.

“Andrew, please,” said Kevin.

“Don't use that word.”

“I know you're annoyed with me, but this may be my chance to _go home_.”

“And then what?” said Andrew. “You still owe me. How will I collect once you're gone?”

“I…” Kevin trailed off.

“I thought so,” said Andrew blandly, but he changed their bearing toward the planet.

* * *

Kevin fidgeted uneasily as the mechanic examined his module. The mechanic, Knox, had sparkly golden skin and irises so light they were almost white. He had a constant smile on his broad face, as if he were actually a ray of sunshine.

“Blown gravis conductor,” he said cheerfully, wiping his hands on a rag and coming over to where Kevin and Andrew were waiting none-too-patiently. “Maybe an ionized frankel. Easy fix.”

Kevin felt himself relax. “How soon?”

Knox cocked his head side to side. “Nightfall at the latest. Are you sure you want me to?”

“What do you mean? Why wouldn’t I?”

Andrew coughed, although it sounded suspiciously like the word _garbage_.

“It’s hardly spaceworthy, is it?” asked Knox. “Primitive alloys, no hetch drive… it belongs in a museum.”

“It’s fine,” said Kevin, unable to keep the annoyance out of his voice. “Just fix it. I need to get back up there before these solar flares die down.”

Knox grimaced. “You may be out of luck. They’re gonna be gone before the solar’s out.”

Kevin’s breath caught. “Do you expect them to occur again?”

“Sure,” shrugged Knox. “They come around like clockwork, every four, four and a half cycles.”

“Four years!” shouted Kevin. “Listen, you’ve got to speed up these repairs. I really need to collect data.”

Knox watched him with his strange pale eyes. “You research unusual space phenomena?” he asked. “Like, for example, wormholes?”

Andrew narrowed his eyes. “What interest do you have in wormholes?” he asked.

“Only a theoretical one,” said Knox. “I noticed that some parts of your ship showed signs of broad face destruction… like they’d been close to a proto-wormhole. Which would track with the readings I picked up earlier that showed strange gravity waves in the upper ionosphere.”

“Well there’s a good reason for me to get back up there, then,” said Kevin cautiously.

Knox smiled at him brightly. “Tell you what! Stay here and tell me what you know about wormholes and I’ll rush your repairs!”

Andrew briefly glaced upward. “ _Another_ wormhole junkie?” he groused. “I’m going to go find the others to tell them we’re here since comms still aren’t working. Don’t do anything stupid.”

“Wait,” said Knox, handing over a pair of dark goggles. “Wear these. If you don’t have them on when a flare hits, you’ll be blinded.”

“Wonderful,” said Andrew. “What a marvellous planet. I’m so glad we’ve come here.”

“It’s not too bad,” said Knox. “If you head due east there’s a truly outstanding expanse of sand.”

Andrew turned and left without another word.

* * *

Dan and M’Att were easy to find, M’Att standing at least a head taller than anyone else in the marketplace. Andrew made his way over to them.

“Andrew?” said Dan when she noticed him, jumping directly to threat management. Andrew was vaguely impressed that she could tell he wasn’t Aaron. “What are you doing here? Is everything alright? I _knew_ we shouldn’t separate when communication is impossible!”

“Nothing’s wrong,” said Andrew, before reconsidering. “I did leave Neil unsupervised, so Exy’s probably on fire or overrun with pirates.”

M’Att shook his head. “Sounds about right. What are you doing here, anyway? I thought you were avoiding your brother.”

Andrew ignored the reference to Aaron. He was ignoring everything about Aaron’s sudden, unexpected presence in his life. “Kevin,” he said instead, with no further qualifiers. Both Dan and M’Att nodded in commiseration.

“Did you finally snap and kill him?” asked Dan.

“I left him with a fellow wormhole fanatic,” he replied, gesturing to Knox’s garage.

Dan sighed. “Are we going to end up with _another_ shipmate?”

“Not if I have anything to say about it,” said Andrew.

M’Att response was cut off by Aaron pushing his way toward them through the crowd, Katelyn following closely in his wake. He briefly glanced at Andrew before turning to Dan. “We have a problem.”

“Ah,” said M’Att sagely. “You’ve learned our catchphrase.”

Dan rolled her eyes, but her lips quirked slightly. “What’s wrong?”

Katelyn held out a flat metal disc.

“And that is…?” said Dan when no explanation was forthcoming.

Katelyn glanced around. “Come here,” she said, leading them into a covered area with almost no foot traffic. “It’s a wanted beacon,” she said once they were alone, turning a couple knobs of the disc. A holographic image of Riko Moriyama appeared.

“Attention bounty hunters,” he said. “The Peacekeepers are offering an award for the return of several fugitives.” Pictures of Dan, M’Att, Renee, Allison, Nicky, and Seth flashed, accompanied by information about them. “We believe them to be travelling aboard an uncollared Leviathan. Payment will be given whether they are returned to us alive or dead.”

“Strange that he didn’t mention Neil, Kevin, or you three,” mused Dan.

“No it isn’t,” said Andrew. “They want Neil and Kevin alive to question them. As for the three of us…” He looked to Aaron. “Why don’t you play the rest of the message?”

“The rest?” asked Katelyn.

Aaron didn’t answer. He sneered at Andrew and then reached out to take the wanted beacon from Katelyn. He pressed a series of buttons, inputting a code. “Greetings, Medic Aaron Minyard,” said Moriyama. “We are aware that your association with the fugitives is unwilling. Unlike Tech Katelyn Renaez, _you_ are not the one who helped them escape.” Katelyn tilted her chin defiantly. “Unlike Officer Andrew Minyard, _you_ are not the one who murdered Commander Drake Spear.” Aaron send Andrew a look of pure shock. “Return to us and you will be granted a full pardon and be allowed to retire. Ignore this message and we will send genetic hunters after you.”

“How do they know Aaron didn’t join us by choice?” asked M’Att.

“They’ve seen Neil’s memories,” said Andrew, ignoring the hot curl of anger that affected him every time he thought of Neil’s time in the Aurora chair.

Dan squared her jaw. “What are you going to do?” she asked Aaron.

Aaron stared back angrily. “Why, are you going to abandon me on this backwater planet if I say something you don’t like?”

“Aaron,” said Katelyn chidingly. “Obviously he’s not going back.”

“We’re supposed to trust your word?” asked Dan.

“He’s not,” said Andrew with certainty.

“How do you know? He clearly hates you,” said M’Att tactlessly.

“Because when Moriyama says retirement, he means radiation-induced heat treatment in order to bring on the Living Death,” said Aaron angrily.

“Living Death?” echoed Dan.

Aaron didn’t answer and Katelyn avoided eye contact.

“Sebaceans lack the gland necessary for regulating extreme thermal temperatures,” said Andrew. Aaron looked at him askance for sharing information. “In very hot environments we suffer from heat delirium: as our cells heat up, the nervous system shuts down. First short term memory, then motor functions. Long term memory is the last to go.”

M’Att looked horrified. “That sounds like an awful way to die.”

“It doesn’t end with death,” said Andrew. “Our bodies remain in that state until the cure is administered.”

“At least there is a cure,” said Dan.

“There isn’t a cure!” exclaimed Katelyn, her expression perplexed. “The Living Death is the one thing that our medics can’t fix.”

“A bullet to the brain cures everything,” said Andrew.

M’Att swallowed. “I knew Sebaceans were heat-sensitive, but I didn’t know _how_ intolerant you were. Well, not to heat, at least,” he amended.

“You expect us to advertise our weaknesses?” said Aaron, with a vicious glare at Andrew.

“It’s why Scarrans and their ability to emit heat waves are so dangerous for us,” said Andrew. “Sebaceans really do not like the heat.”

“...We’re in a desert,” Dan pointed out needlessly.

“It is quite unpleasant,” said Katelyn. “But it’s only optimum plus eight. We don’t start having real problems until at least fifteen above.”

“Katelyn!” hissed Aaron.

“What?” she said. “They are our allies.”

“For now,” said Aaron darkly.

* * *

Neil wandered into the centre chamber. He’d been avoiding meal times but with almost everybody down on the planet he decided to take advantage of it being empty. He knew that retreating into the access shafts where no one could easily find him was not helping the others believe him when he told them he was fine. He _was_ fine, he was just having a little trouble controlling his memories.

He’d survived for so long by repressing and ignoring anything he didn’t want to think about; he’d become an expert at shrugging everything off. His time in Ichirou’s chair, however, seemed to have broken down the rigid barriers in his mind that he’d spent his life building.

Ever since he’d returned to Exy he’d been having trouble differentiating his memories from reality. He’d been avoiding everyone in an effort to disguise this fact, but he had a sneaking suspicion that Andrew had an idea what was going on.

Jean had helped, a little. He at least understood what Neil was going through, although his mystical powers had afforded him protection from the chair. Neil was also the only one that Jean knew, until he and Renee had hit it off, bonding over their similar mental abilities. Allison, too, had recently taken Jean under her wing.

“Oh, hi, Neil,” said Nicky in surprise, coming into the room. “I haven’t seen you for solars! I thought you were gone with Andrew and Kevin.”

“They went out in the module,” said Neil. He’d heard Kevin’s request but he didn’t trust himself not to succumb to memories in the middle of their flight so he’d ignored it.

“Hmmm,” said Nicky, distractedly, searching through their stores for food cubes. He popped a couple in his mouth. “I thought you’d be in the observation lounge,” he continued, chewing loudly.

Apparently Neil was becoming too predictable. He’d have to vary where he spent his time.

“Renee’s a plant,” he said.

“So?”

“So, the nearby sun is producing solar flares,” said Neil. “The observation lounge is the best place to be exposed to the sunlight.”

“She wants to catch some rays? Why didn’t you stay with her? I find her presence restful.”

“Do you know what happens to Delvians who are exposed to increased radiation?” asked Neil. When Nicky shook his head, he said, “I heard the word ‘photogasm’ and I made myself scarce.”

Nicky scrunched up his nose. “Ew,” he said. “So she’s…”

“Jean and Allison are with her,” said Neil. “I suggest staying far away.”

“The three of them…?” asked Nicky, trailing off.

“Seems so,” shrugged Neil.

“Huh,” said Nicky. “Good for Jean. Still,” he pouted, “I can’t believe there’s an orgy happening on board and I’m not invited.”

“You don’t like females,” Neil pointed out.

“That’s a technicality…” Nicky sighed. “Oh, well. At least you and I can spend some time together. I don’t think I’ve seen you for more than a couple microts since we unleashed an Intellant virus by mistake.”

Neil was hit by a vivid memory of Nicky pushing him against the bulkhead and forcibly kissing him.

“What?” asked Nicky. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m fine,” said Neil quickly.

“You flinched. Why did you flinch?” Nicky came over to sit by Neil, who shied away slightly. Nicky’s face creased in concern and hurt. “What did I do?”

“You did nothing,” said Neil.

“Then why—”

“I know it wasn’t you,” Neil clarified. “When the virus transferred from you to me it was… rough about it.”

Nicky looked devastated. “I hurt you?”

“You didn’t do anything,” said Neil decisively. “You didn’t kill that Peacekeeper and you didn’t hurt me.”

Nicky slumped. Neil awkwardly patted his shoulder, attempting to comfort him.

“Allison said I shouldn’t worry because it was ‘just a Peacekeeper’ that died,” said Nicky.

“I assume that her sage advice wasn’t useful?”

“You know,” said Nicky quietly, “I’m not like the others. I don’t hate all Peacekeepers. There are good ones and bad ones just like in all species. Every single person I’ve ever loved has been Sebacean.”

“You were raised by Sebaceans,” prompted Neil.

Nicky smiled sadly. “I loved them and they loved me. They never made me feel less than they were because of my heritage. They were my family.”

“What happened?”

“My birth father found where I was. My adopted family, the Kloses, tried to protect me from him but they couldn’t when he discovered my marriage.”

Neil looked up sharply. “You’re married?” he asked.

“To Erik,” said Nicky, nodding. “The son of the Kloses. We fell in love as children and never fell out of it. Our marriage was a secret known only to a few.”

“Marriage between Sebaceans and other species is—”

“Strictly forbidden. We were both arrested.” Nicky seemed to wilt. “I don’t know where Erik is, if he’s even still alive.”

Neil breathed in deeply. “I thought that no one could possibly have as terrible a father as I do, but you’re really giving me a run for my money.”

Nicky laughed wetly. “Do I get a prize?”

“Do mental trauma and nightmares count?”

Nicky sobered. “You know you’re safe now, right? Here, with us?”

“I’m safe nowhere,” corrected Neil, “but I appreciate the lie.”

* * *

“...wave particles,” Kevin concluded. He and Knox had been having a terrific discussion about wormholes and particle physics. Knox had dragged over a large board and they’d scribbled equations and diagrams together. It made Kevin happy; Neil would usually humour him with similar conversations, but he always spent a lot of time denigrating Kevin’s intelligence and lately he’d been hard to pin down. Although Kevin had also been avoiding him, feeling guilty about leaving Neil behind at the Gammak base even though Neil didn’t seem to hold it against him.

Knox was much more pleasant company. He was probably the only truly kind person that Kevin had met since his trip through the wormhole. He hadn’t tried to kill him at all; instead he grinned and joined in with Kevin’s talk about physics with unrestrained enthusiasm.

“What about…” Kevin started saying, before realizing that he’d lost Knox’s attention. He followed his sightline and saw someone leaning over his module. “Is that one of your staff?” he asked.

“No,” said Knox. “Hey you! What are you doing there?”

The person, who was wearing a full mask, straightened and turned to go, but Kevin saw a glint of silver in his hand. “He’s stealing something!” he yelled. The person took off running and Kevin sprinted after them, not willing to lose anything out of his module. He could hear Knox yelling something behind him but he couldn’t make out the words as he ran out of the garage and into the surrounding courtyard. The thief wasn’t far; Kevin was faster than he was. Kevin leapt at him, tackling him to the ground, where they struggled for control of what had been stolen— the flight data recorder.

Kevin had just retrieved it when there was a flash of light that blotted out his vision. Blinking furiously, he rolled away from the thief. He was kicked viciously in the ribs and then punched in the face. He tried to defend himself but he couldn’t see where the attacks were coming from.

There was a sudden cracking noise and Knox’s voice rang out, “Got him! You okay, mate?”

“I can’t see!” Kevin spat angrily.

“Ah,” said Knox, sounding almost delicate. “You caught a flare in the face, yeah? You’ll be good as new in no time.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, like… ninety-five… no, ninety percent sure,” said Knox. “You’ll be ready to fly by the time I fix your module. I’m eighty percent certain.”

“Those numbers keep going down,” said Kevin suspiciously. He picked himself off the ground, wavering on his feet. Someone grasped him and he shied away until Knox identified himself.

“Come on back to the shop,” he said, propelling Kevin forward.

It was disorienting trying to walk without sight. It didn’t help that Kevin’s mind was informing him that he didn’t actually _know_ Knox and that he very well could be in league with the person who had tried to steal the flight recorder.

“I heard a commotion; what have you done now?” asked Andrew’s bored voice and Kevin exhaled in relief. Andrew wouldn’t let anyone hurt him.

“Someone tried to steal our flight recorder,” he said, thrusting out the object he was gripping tightly.

There was a beat. “What’s wrong with him?” asked Andrew.

“My ears are working fine!” protested Kevin.

“He went out without protective goggles,” said Knox. “He’s temporarily blinded.”

“Are you sure its temporary?”

“Probably!” said Knox enthusiastically. “There’s a sixty percent chance that he’ll recovery fully.”

“Sixty?!” shouted Kevin. “You said eighty before! I need my sight!”

“And I’ll say there’s a fifty percent chance you’ll see again,” said Knox soothingly.

“If you don’t, we’ll find a Diagnosian and get you new eyes,” said Andrew.

“Seriously?” sputtered Kevin. “Is that a real thing? I can’t tell if you’re kidding or not.”

Andrew didn’t enlighten him. “How soon can you get this module repaired?” he asked Knox instead. “We need to get going.”

“Give me three quarters of an arn and a copy of all the wormhole data you’ve collected and I’ll get you on you way.”

“Deal,” said Andrew. Kevin could hear Knox move away.

“Good idea,” said Kevin. “We need to get up there to take more readings.”

“Change of plan. We’re leaving the system immediately.”

“What? Why? I need those readings!”

“We found a wanted beacon,” said Andrew quietly. “I’m guessing that the person who stole the flight recorder saw me speaking with Dan and M’Att and overheard your ship was here. They were probably trying to track us back to Exy. We need to leave; we’re all in danger.”

“But…” said Kevin helplessly.

“There will be other stars with solar flares, Kevin,” said Andrew, and Kevin could hear the finality in his tone.

Kevin slumped. “I hope so.”

* * *

Andrew fixed a minor relay in the neural cluster. Basic maintenance like this was far beneath him but he found it relaxing. He was surprised to find that outside of rules and orders he liked to have a puzzle for his mind to work on. Plus, the neural cluster was private and he enjoyed being alone. If Neil had started showing up frequently to sit in silence or exchange stories with Andrew, well, that was neither here nor there. He certainly wasn’t waiting for Neil to appear; he cared nothing for him.

A shuffling sound from the passageway leading to the neural cluster caught his attention. Neil would never make so much noise. To Andrew’s quickly-hidden surprise, it was Aaron.

“The Leviathan’s pilot told me you’d be here,” he said, looking around. “Why are you doing tech’s work?”

“Does your girlfriend know how inferior you find techs?”

“There’s nothing _wrong_ with tech work,” said Aaron. “I didn’t think you knew how.”

“You know very little about me.”

“Clearly.” Aaron chewed his lip and crossed his arms before uncrossing them. “What are we going to do about the genetic hunters?” he finally asked.

“‘We’?”

“If they’re after me, they’re after you,” said Aaron. “And Katelyn, too.”

“Nicky has enough Sebacean DNA that they’ll pick him up as well.”

Aaron grimaced. “I still can’t believe that he’s a half-breed.”

Andrew hummed but didn’t respond.

“Well?” said Aaron impatiently. “The hunters?”

“What can we do? They’ll send them; we’ll kill them.”

“You sound confident about that.”

“The only other option is for them to kill us. Would you prefer that?”

“It’ll be easier for the hunters if we stay on the Leviathan,” Aaron pointed out. “It’s big and noticeable and will help them narrow down the search area.”

“Staying in a fixed location will make it even easier for them.”

“Katelyn’s working on fixing up the Marauder. We could leave.”

“Again, ‘we’?” asked Andrew. “What makes you think I want to go with you? And do you really want to be on a cramped ship with me?”

Aaron looked as if he’d bit into something sour. “Genetic hunters mean that we’re in this together.”

“Wouldn’t separating be smarter? Give them multiple targets to track?”

“You just don’t want to leave that tralk Nebari,” snapped Aaron. “I’ve seen the way you look at him. I knew you’d fallen, I just hadn’t thought it was this far.”

“Out of the two of us, I am not the one who risked everything because I was thinking with my dick,” said Andrew crudely.

“No, you only use your dick to get ahead.”

Andrew felt his brow crease in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“Everybody knows that the only reason you got assigned to Prowler detail was because of all the time you spent in Spear’s bed. Did you kill him because he wasn’t useful to you anymore?”

Andrew felt nauseated. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said in a low, dangerous voice.

Aaron ignored the warning in his tone. “Was it worth it? All you had to do was sell yourself and betray me.”

“Get out,” said Andrew. When Aaron didn’t move to leave, he pulled out his pulse pistol. “Get out,” he repeated, steel in both his eyes and words.

Aaron’s eyes widened fractionally before his expression shuttered and he stomped out of the neural cluster.

“That was dramatic,” said Neil, dropping down from the vent in the ceiling.

Andrew considered chasing him out as well, but decided against it, holstering his weapon.

Neil sat in his usual spot across from him. Andrew continued his basic maintenance, ignoring him. Neil checked some of the nearby connections, letting the quiet between them settle.

“Was Aaron telling the truth?” Neil finally asked to break the silence.

“I’m sure he said something that was true,” replied Andrew.

“Spear…” said Neil thoughtfully. “I’ve heard of him. Ichirou was going to put him in the chair to find out what he knew about you.”

Andrew wondered how many of Spear’s memories Ichirou had accessed before the alarms had sounded. He shuddered that Ichirou may know of their shared past.

“I know,” said Andrew roughly. “It was his ident chip I stole. I left him in the chair with the extraction set to maximum.”

Neil flinched slightly at the reference to extraction. Andrew wondered if he was bothered by Andrew using the way he’d been tortured to hurt someone else.

“Did he deserve it?” asked Neil, no judgment in his voice.

“Yes,” replied Andrew with certainty, looking up to meet Neil’s eyes. They kept eye contact for several microts. Andrew felt as if Neil was seeing through him and into his past: Spear’s obsession with him; how many times he had ordered Andrew into his bed; how Spear had prevented Andrew’s advancement and blocked any transfer away from him; Spear’s excitement when Aaron had been transferred to the same division as Andrew; Andrew’s subsequent decision to report Aaron’s relationship with Katelyn to keep Spear away from him; how his betrayal of Aaron had resulted in a demotion for Aaron and a promotion out of Spear’s control to Prowler detail for Andrew, cementing Aaron’s belief that Andrew had done it selfishly.

Neil nodded once. “Good.” They worked in silence again for some time. “Was he right about the way you look at me?”

Andrew felt cornered. “You’re attractive,” he said, shrugging one shoulder. “It doesn’t mean anything; I’m not that stupid.”

“I offered—”

“I don’t want payment from you.” Kevin had told Andrew about what Neil had said about his past encounters; based on Neil’s behaviour Andrew wasn’t overly surprised.

“What _do_ you want from me?”

Andrew met his eyes. “Nothing,” he said. Neil raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Nothing that you don’t also want,” Andrew corrected.

“So you _do_ like me.”

“I hate you,” said Andrew. He could feel the anger bubbling in his stomach; Neil had no right to make him want him. “I’d still have sex with you. It wouldn’t mean anything.”

“I wouldn’t mind having sex with you,” said Neil.

“‘Wouldn’t mind’ isn’t the same as wanting to. I’m not going to be like others we’ve been with, taking without true consent,” replied Andrew. “I’m not going to let you let me be like them.”

“But—”

“No,” said Andrew. Neil subsided. It was something that Andrew appreciated about him: he might poke and prod but he’d never challenged a boundary that Andrew had made clear. “Go away, Neil,” he said tiredly. “Leave me alone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, we're about a third of the way through this behemoth. Hang on to your hats because it only gets more intense from here.


	10. Chapter 10

Kevin was bored. Exy had been hanging out in empty, deserted space for the past several weeks as her crewmates argued in circles about what they were going to do about the bounty on them. He didn’t really get why everyone was so up in arms. The Peacekeepers had been hunting for them before; although the beacon they’d found was new all it meant was that none of the six original prisoners should show their faces in populated areas. As far as he was concerned nothing had changed.

He was in his quarters, repetitively tossing a ball in the air and catching it. There was little else for him to do. His module was in tip-top shape, recent repairs and modifications had been double and triple checked to ensure their efficacy; Wymack had forced him to stop fiddling with Exy’s internal systems; Neil had spent the morning talking wormholes and physics with him, but had disappeared after lunch— he was probably off with Andrew somewhere. The two of them had been spending a lot of time sequestered together ever since Neil’s capture. They thought no one noticed, but Exy wasn’t _that_ big. Everyone was convinced they were sleeping together but Kevin expected that Andrew would be in a better mood if that were true.

“Kevin,” said Dan over comms. There was something in her tone that he couldn’t quite place. “There’s something you might want to see.”

“On my way,” he said in excitement, getting up and running for command. Something to do! He didn’t care if Dan was tricking him into performing busy work for her; he’d much rather _do_ something than sit around idly.

Skidding into the room, his eyes widened when he caught sight of the viewscreen. A familiar silvery-blue tube was floating just off the starboard bow.

“A wormhole,” he breathed. “Wymack, take readings! Complete spectrum, diffuse electron analysis across the electromagnetic range. And ask the DRDs to prep my module.” He turned to run back out of the room. “Neil! Meet me at my module; there’s a wormhole to scan!”

“Wait—” said Wymack.

“I can’t!” replied Kevin frantically. “I need to run scans!”

“No, wait,” said Wymack more harshly, in a tone he usually didn’t take with any of them. Kevin skidded to a stop and retraced his steps. “I think there’s a ship approaching.”

“You _think_?” said Dan, checking her console. “I don’t see it.”

“It’s moving too fast… this is impossible…”

“Wymack, where is it?” said Dan.

“I think… in the wormhole.”

On the viewscreen, the wormhole seemed to convulse. A ship, a strangely-shaped spiral ship, slowly materialized, as if they were in an episode of Star Trek and it was uncloaking. Kevin watched, mouth open in horror as it hurtled toward Exy.

“Starburst!” he yelled.

“Not enough time,” grunted Wymack, clearly straining as Exy attempted an evasive manoeuvre.

“Brace for impact!” Dan yelled over the comms.

Everything in Kevin’s vision briefly went white. He must have lost consciousness because the next thing he knew, he was blinking awake. He was still in command, but it was very changed. It was bisected by a column of a white metallic substance, and there were a couple unfamiliar colourful consoles that had popped up around him.

He sat up, making himself dizzy. He groaned and clutched his head. “Dan?” he said, looking around for her.

She was crumpled near the panel she’d been standing beside. Kevin made his way over; before he got there she started moving. He helped her to her feet.

“Are you alright?” she asked. At his nod, she hit her comm. “M’Att?”

“Neil?” Kevin tried with his own comm when M’Att didn’t respond. “Andrew?”

“Wymack?” called Dan.

“What the frell happened?” demanded Allison, stumbling into command. She was the most dishevelled Kevin had ever seen her, even more so than when he’d first met her and she’d just escaped from captivity. She looked past Kevin and Dan, her eyes widening. She pulled out a pistol. Kevin had no idea where she could have been keeping it; it’s not like her clothing left a lot to the imagination.

“Who are they?” snapped Allison.

Kevin whirled. There were two people— humans, he thought, his heart leaping— lying near one of the white columns. They both had bronze skin and dark hair and were wearing white uniforms. One of them was possibly the most beautiful woman that Kevin had ever seen.

Dan also pulled a weapon.

The unknown woman crawled over to her companion. He had a piece of Exy’s interior pierced through his abdomen. He coughed up greenish blood. “Alien penetration of our vessel!” he said, weakly.

“There was an impact during phase resolution,” said the woman. She looked up at Dan fiercely. Kevin stared, gobsmacked.

“Who are you and what did you do to our ship?!” Dan’s angry voice knocked Kevin out of his reverie.

“Thea, the aliens have weapons!” said the man, struggling to move.

“Stay still,” replied the gorgeous woman— Thea, apparently. She looked down at the man’s wound, her expression grim. “You’ll be alright,” she lied. She turned her own weapon on Dan.

“Calm down,” said Kevin, stepping forward with his hands raised. “We mean you no harm.” Allison huffed, muttering something about _as long as they don’t try to hurt us first_. “We’re just trying to figure out what is going on.”

“I think it’s trying to communicate with us,” Thea said to her companion.

“You don’t understand us?” said Allison. “DRD, inject them with translator microbes.”

A nearby DRD whirred to life and darted forward. Thea jumped in surprised. “Their robot injected me with something!”

“Fight it!” cried the man, struggling and gasping in pain.

“Shh, shh,” soothed Thea. The man went limp in her arms. “Your journey is finished,” she said solemnly, reaching out a hand to close his eyes. Once done, she stood and gave them a threatening look. “What did you do to me?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” said Kevin. “We’re just letting you understand us. Can you?”

Thea looked confused. “You speak and I comprehend.”

“Kevin, what have you done now?” asked Andrew, coming into command, Neil on his heels. His weapon was up in a heartbeat when he saw the intruder. “You’re Sebacean,” he said.

"Or human!" interjected Kevin.

Andrew ignored him. “What kind of vessel is this?”

“Sebacean?” said Thea. “What is Sebacean?”

“He is,” said Allison, indicating Andrew. “Intellectually suited to carry weapons and die marching in formation. What are you?”

“I am Pathfinder Thea Muldani of the Acquaran Research and Exploration Division.”

“I’ve never heard of Acquarans,” said Dan.

“They came through a wormhole,” Kevin pointed out. “They may not be from around here.”

Just then the comms sputtered back to life. Command filled with the panicked shouts of everyone else on board. Kevin was able to distinguish the voices of Seth, M’Att, Nicky, Renee, and Katelyn.

“I haven’t heard from Wymack,” Dan said, cutting through the chatter. “Someone go check on him.”

“On it,” said M’Att.

“I’m on my way, too,” said Renee.

“Jean, Aaron, you two still alive?” Dan asked next, getting two affirmatives. “Okay, everyone start doing damage assessment. Meanwhile,” she said, giving Thea a piercing look, “you tell us _exactly_ what just happened.”

* * *

Andrew stayed around long enough to hear the words ‘photonic distortion’ and ‘phaztillion generator’ before deciding that listening to what sounded like gibberish was not an effective use of his time. He’d let the science-types decide how to fix their predicament while he focused on assessing damage and sealing breaches. It was times like these that he wished that more of their problems could be solved by shooting things.

The situation was bad. From what Andrew could gather, the Acquaran ship had been out of phase with normal spacetime and had rematerialized right in the area that Exy was occupying. Both ships had fused together, the spiral-shaped one poking through Exy like a spear. The pain and disorientation had knocked Wymack unconscious, leaving them without an easy way to control or access Exy’s systems. According to Thea, the collision had ricocheted them into the ‘distorted region that divides a wormhole from normal spacetime’ or, as Neil had clarified upon seeing Andrew and Dan’s blank expressions, they were stuck in the ‘wall’ of the wormhole.

Andrew headed down to tier three, following the line of the Acquaran ship through Exy’s interior. He stopped about halfway down the corridor, finding a person. Or half a person. The look of their face indicated they’d died in agony; the corridor bisected them almost exactly in half. They looked Sebacean or Human; only the green blood flowing from their wounds marked them as alien.

“Dan, I’ve found a body,” he reported. “It looks like they phased into being in the middle of one of Exy’s bulkheads.”

There was a brief pause. “I’ll tell Thea,” Dan replied. “How’s the status of tier three?”

“Full of ruptures,” he reported. “I’ll get to work fixing them.”

* * *

“So,” said Kevin, pretty sure he understood, “if you activate your phaztillion generator at the same moment as we starburst, we should separate?”

“In theory,” said Thea. “But unless we time it precisely for when we are closest to the edge of the distortion zone, we’ll be flung apart and atomized.”

“Let’s not do that,” said Dan. “How can we prevent it?”

“I need empirical information about our position in the wormhole in order to do calculations,” said Thea.

“We can’t access our external sensors with Wymack unconscious,” said Dan.

“And who knows if they even work in this region of space,” said Neil. “Someone will have to take the module out to get the readings.”

“We can’t open the docking bay doors without Wymack,” Dan reminded him.

Kevin still didn't understand Leviathan technology as well as he wanted to, but Katelyn had been teaching him since she'd come on board. “Katelyn,” he said, hitting his communicator, “can you use Wymack’s console to open the docking bay doors?”

There was a pause. “...I think I can figure it out,” she answered.

“This module of yours, it’s small?” asked Thea.

“Two person capacity,” nodded Kevin. “Neil and I will go.”

“Nice of you to volunteer my services,” muttered Neil, but he didn’t argue further.

“Good,” said Thea approvingly. “Once outside of the ship you’ll have to head along this vector,” she said, pointing at a display, “and loop around us, travelling through the distortion zone between the wormhole and normal space. Each time you pass us, take appropriate readings. At least seventeen loops are required to calibrate our position properly.”

“Take readings with what?” asked Kevin.

Thea handed him a large, metallic sensor array and started showing him how to use it.

“We’re going to need to deploy the docking web to get you back on board,” said Dan, examining the display. “You’ll be moving too fast for your own engines to slow you down enough.”

“Let’s hope that Katelyn can figure that out, too,” said Neil.

* * *

Kevin turned on Thea’s weird gizmo and started taking readings as soon as Neil made the first loop. He had wanted to be the one flying but he had to admit that Neil had more experience flying in space. It was very disorienting, travelling from the distortion zone into the wormhole back into the distortion zone and then into normal space. His module shuddered as they passed each barrier.

“Your home is probably somewhere down here, if you knew where you were going,” said Neil as they passed into the wormhole.

“Yeah,” said Kevin wistfully. Thea had explained that wormholes gravitate toward each other, meaning that he could travel through this wormhole until it joined with a wormhole that could bring him back to Earth. It would be like looked for a needle in a pile of needles, however, without some kind of direction. He’d learned a lot about wormholes in the short period he’d spoken with Thea. He wouldn’t mind if she stuck around (the fact that she looked like a gorgeous, human woman didn’t deter him, either).

“Or,” said Neil, sounding troubled, “we could stop circling next time we hit normal space. Just escape and leave them behind.”

Kevin sat up straighter. “You wouldn’t do that,” he said.

“Wouldn’t I?” said Neil. “Cutting and running is what I’m good at.”

“You’d just leave them all— leave _Andrew_ — to be atomized?” asked Kevin.

“He’s nothing special,” said Neil, but he didn’t sound convinced. “Peacekeeper soldiers like him are commonplace.”

“You know that’s not true.”

Neil sighed and looped them around again. “My mother would be so mad,” he absently, almost as an afterthought.

“Survival can’t be your be-all, end-all,” said Kevin. “Take it from someone who lost every single person I’d ever cared about in a heartbeat: life’s not worth living without people you love to share it with.”

“You’re sounding a little suicidal there, Kevin.”

“No,” said Kevin. “I want to go home, more than anything. But if I can’t? If I’m stuck here forever? I’d be alright. I have you guys.” It was the first time he’d ever admitted it to himself.

“I’ve never had friends before,” said Neil. “I’ve never had a future.”

“Then what was the point of all the running?”

“As you said: survival.”

Kevin scoffed and shook his head. “You can be more than a frightened child on the run by himself.” The sensor on his lap beeped, indicating that it had enough data. “You already are.”

* * *

Once Andrew repaired the breaches on tier three he decided to go find out what Neil and Kevin were up to as he hadn’t heard their voices over the comms recently. In command he found Allison and Dan deep in discussion, with Katelyn chiming in over the comms, and the alien woman Thea poking panels on one of her ship’s consoles and frowning at the readouts produced.

“Where are Neil and Kevin?” he asked.

“They’re not back yet,” said Dan, distractedly. “Speaking of, Katelyn, have you figured out the docking web yet?”

“I think so,” said Katelyn.

“Docking web?” repeated Andrew. “Are they off the ship?”

“They went out in Kevin’s module to collect positional data.”

Andrew wasn’t quite sure what his face did in response to that, but judging by the defensive reactions of the others it wasn’t friendly. He kept his voice neutral as he pointed out, “I’m the best pilot on board.”

“You were busy,” said Allison.

“How do you know Kevin won’t take the opportunity to use the wormhole to get back to his precious Earth?” asked Andrew.

“He wouldn’t do that,” defended Dan, although she sounded slightly unsure.

“Because he’s never been irrational about wormholes before,” said Andrew.

“No,” said Dan forcefully. “He wouldn’t. Besides, Neil’s flying.”

“And Neil’s never run away from trouble,” said Andrew dryly.

“If I recall correctly, Neil willingly infiltrated an enemy base in order to save your life,” said Dan pointedly, “so you could probably stand to disparage his character a little less.”

“I didn’t ask him to do that.”

“He still did it,” said Dan. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. It’s done. They’ll be back, or they won’t. We have other things to worry about.”

“Such as?”

“We’re going to need to starburst out of this mess,” said Dan. “Which we can’t do without Wymack. Katelyn can figure out the controls to initiate starburst, but none of us can do the calculations necessary since they require being able to perceive six dimensions.”

“We need him to be awake and alert for at least half an arn, maybe longer,” said Allison.

“What about adrenaline?” suggested Andrew. “In battle, Peacekeepers carry a shot of adrenaline to administer if we’re injured or incapacitated.”

Allison narrowed her eyes in thought. “Wymack and Exy share a symbiotic connection. If we flood his system with her adrenal secretions he might wake up long enough to do the calculations.”

“How would we do that?” asked Dan.

“Exy’s adrenal system runs through the neural cluster,” said Allison. “It could be spliced into her connection with Wymack.”

“On it,” said Andrew, already familiar with the neural cluster. “Get Neil or Kevin to contact me when they get back.”

“I’m not your secretary,” said Dan, but she nodded in acquiescence before turning to Allison. “We have to get the outer hatches closed and sealed. If there’s a decompression during starburst we’re all done for.”

“It’s great that this plan only has about seventeen things that can go wrong resulting in all our deaths,” replied Allison.

* * *

Kevin breathed out a sigh of relief when he felt the docking web engage.

“Good catch,” he said to Katelyn.

She laughed shakily. “Thanks,” she replied. “Now you two get back in here and figure out how to get us all home safely.”

Nicky was in the maintenance bay once the shuttle rolled to a stop and Kevin and Neil hopped out. He was giving verbal instructions to the DRDs, since without Wymack they couldn’t be communicated with en masse.

“Andrew was looking for you,” Nicky said without looking up. “He was annoyed you left without telling him.”

Kevin whirled on Neil. “Did you tell him where we were going?”

Neil shrugged. “Didn’t you?”

“I thought you did! You’re much better at getting him to agree than I am.”

“We don’t need his permission, Kevin,” said Neil in exasperation. Still, he asked Nicky, “Where is he?”

“Neural cluster,” replied Nicky. “Port side tier two, fix relays,” he said to one of the DRDs.

Kevin waved Thea’s scanning device in the air. “I’ll get this to command. You smooth things over with Andrew.”

“Careful on tier four,” said Nicky. “There was a decompression along two of Exy’s ribs while you were gone. That area’s vacuum for now.”

Kevin halted and turned to stare at Nicky. “Is Exy going to survive this?”

“We don’t know,” said Nicky, studiously not looking at him. “We’re doing all we can, but the strain may be too much for her.”

Neil swallowed. “What are we—”

“We’re going to give her and Wymack every chance we can,” interrupted Nicky. He closed his eyes. “And if it’s not enough, we’ll have to leave on the Acquaran ship.”

“You mean… abandon her?” asked Kevin in shock.

“If the choice is between that and dying… wouldn’t you?” asked Nicky. He still wouldn’t look at them, his expression ashamed.

“I…” said Kevin, trailing off.

“No sense worrying about it now,” said Neil. “Get that data to Thea and we’ll see if _any_ of us will survive this.”

* * *

“Need any help?” asked Neil, entering the neural cluster. Andrew was at work, furiously splicing different synapses together. It looked like several of them had been yanked out in a hurry. Neil assumed that someone had done it earlier in an effort to cut Wymack off from external stimuli that were hurting him.

Andrew pointed. “Splice and hook, nothing permanent,” he said. “We need to reconnect Wymack to Exy’s external sensors and hook him up to her adrenal system.”

Neil got to work.

“How’s it looking outside?” asked Andrew after a couple microts.

“Bad,” said Neil. “The Acquaran ship is harpooned through Exy completely.” He paused, not sure if he should say what else he had noticed. “The Leviathan parts on Kevin’s module were basically shredded by our loops.” He chewed on his bottom lip. “Andrew, I’m not sure that Exy will—”

“I know,” Andrew cut him off. “It would be smarter for us to abandon ship. I don’t think it would even be up for discussion if it wasn’t Exy.”

“I can see where they’re coming from,” said Neil quietly. “She brought them all together, gave them a home. Protected them, sheltered them.”

“Don’t act like you’re not one of them.”

“If I am, then so are you.”

Andrew inclined his head.

“I never really saw myself as a ‘going down with the ship’ type guy,” mused Neil.

“Of course you are,” said Andrew. “You’re the martyr that no one asked for.”

“I could have escaped, you know,” said Neil. He was still unsure why he hadn’t even considered it; he’d only told Kevin to see his reaction. “Part of the loop was in normal space. I could have just flown away.”

“With Kevin?” said Andrew. “You and Kevin alone in a tiny module for forty arns, or however long it took you to run out of power and die? Sounds much better than dying quickly.”

“Point,” said Neil. “Still, the fact remains that less than a cycle ago I would have gone without looking back or caring.”

“Are you having an existential crisis?” asked Andrew.

“No,” said Neil helplessly. “I just never expected that when you told me to stay, it would end up like this.” He studied Andrew, not quite sure what he was feeling. “You gave me a home.”

“Stop looking at me like that,” said Andrew, without taking his eyes off the synapses he was splicing together. “Your mental breakdown is poorly timed.”

“Well, we’ll probably be dead soon. It’s now or never.”

Andrew shook his head, then reached over and grasped the back of Neil’s neck to drag him into a kiss. He kissed like they were fighting, like he was a drowning man who needed the air from Neil’s lungs. Neil floundered a little before settling into it and letting his eyes fall shut. He’d been kissed before, by men, by women, by people without gender, but it had never been like this. His skin had never sparked with sensation nor had it felt like there was fire in his veins.

Andrew pulled back before long and got back to work. Neil gaped at him for several microts before following suit.

“Are you only ever going to kiss me when you think we’re about to die?” he asked, his voice hoarse.

There were spots of colour on Andrew’s cheeks. “If we get out of this alive...” he said, his voice also rough but full of promise. Neil was gratified to know that he was similarly affected by their kiss.

“Yeah,” said Neil breathlessly. “Yeah, let’s do that.”

* * *

Kevin returned the scanning device to Thea and watched as she downloaded the data into her computer banks.

Thea clearly her throat delicately. “It occurs to me that there is one more problem that we must address before we attempt to separate,” she said.

“What?” said Dan suspiciously, from where she was coordinating things nearby, “What other problem?”

“My ship,” said Thea, “is not designed to be controlled by a single crew member. I alone cannot do everything that’s required.”

Dan swore. “So you need one of us to go with you?” she asked.

“Two of you, actually,” said Thea. She had been nothing but brusque and cold toward them, but she did sound slightly apologetic. “I’ll need to control the Phaztillion generator while someone navigates using the collected data and someone else pilots.”

“And what? We go through the wormhole to where you’re from?” asked Kevin. Thea’s people knew wormhole technology, at least. Maybe they could help him find his way home if he went with her.

“No,” said Thea. “If everything goes according to plan, we should be able to find our way back to your living ship. I can infuse her superstructure with a beacon so that we’ll know where to exit the wormhole.”

“Do it,” said Dan with a nod. “But then how will you get home?”

“I won’t,” said Thea. “That was never the plan. Going forward through a wormhole is easy; it’s almost impossible to backtrack. We always knew it was a one-way trip.”

“But… why?” asked Kevin. “Why would you do that voluntarily?”

“Scientific advancement,” said Thea. “We know how to send _information_ back to our home. Sometimes sacrifices must be made for knowledge.”

Kevin nodded in understanding. “I agree,” he said. “I’ll go with you; I already know how your scanning device works. I can navigate.”

“Andrew won’t let you go without him,” Dan warned.

“He’s a pilot,” Kevin pointed out.

“You’re volunteering him without even discussing it with him?” asked Dan incredulously. “We don’t even know if you’ll ever be able to find your way back to Exy.”

“We don’t know that Exy will survive,” Kevin countered.

“Frell you,” said Dan savagely. “Exy will be fine.”

“I only meant that going with Thea isn’t inherently more dangerous.”

“You still have no right to make Andrew’s decision for him.”

“What decision?” asked Andrew, coming into command with Neil. “Everything’s ready for the adrenaline shot,” he said as an aside to Dan.

Kevin quickly explained the issue about Thea needing help to fly her ship. Andrew watched her with flinty eyes; she stared back, unintimidated.

“Fine, I’ll fly,” said Andrew after Kevin’s explanation. “Show me the controls.”

“I’m going, too,” announced Neil.

Andrew looked back at him and the two of them had a brief nonverbal exchange.

“I am,” said Neil defiantly. “What if something happens to one of you? I can be your backup.”

“Stay here,” said Andrew.

“Without you? No.”

It was as if they’d forgotten that other people were present; they only had eyes for each other.

“Besides,” said Neil, dropping his aggressive stance to smile lopsidedly at Andrew, “wouldn't you rather have me in sight to ensure I'm not doing anything ridiculous?”

Kevin wasn't sure if it was the smile or the words that disarmed Andrew, but he relented almost immediately.

Thea nodded and showed the two of them the pilot's console, giving perfunctory instructions before letting Andrew explore the controls.

“Once I prime the generator we'll have less than an arn before it's fully charged,” she said, coming back to speak with Dan. “Then we'll only have microts to release the energy and starburst before it overloads and kills us all.”

“Smart design,” replied Dan snottily.

“I've overridden the safeties,” Thea admitted. “This is _not_ its recommended usage.”

“We're only going to get one shot at this,” said Kevin.

“We'll divert the adrenal secretions to Wymack as soon as you prime the generator,” said Dan. “He's going to be groggy; let's hope he can finish the calculations in time.”

Thea poked around her console for a few microts before straightening. “I'm ready when you are.”

“Everyone check in,” Dan sent shipwide. After listening to what everyone said, she began giving instructions. Kevin wondered whether it was just because of the crisis or whether everyone unconsciously accepted that Dan was their captain. “You have half an arn to finish what you're doing,” she said, “then brace for starburst. Renee, we're going to be flooding Wymack's system with adrenaline soon; your job is to keep him focused and on task, no matter how cruel you have to be to keep him awake.”

“Tell him to die later,” said Seth. “Save us first.”

“Shut it,” said Dan. “Katelyn, stay where you are; we may need you to use Wymack's console if he can't. Aaron, are you in position to unblock the adrenal gland?”

“Affirmative.” Kevin was reluctantly impressed with how completely uninterested Aaron sounded in the proceedings. Even Andrew had displayed minimal emotions about their predicament.

“Stand by,” said Dan, glancing at Thea. “Ready?” she asked.

“Are you?” returned Thea. “This is the point of no return.”

“You heard them,” said Dan. “We're as ready as we're ever going to be.”

“Then, yes, let's begin before your ship deteriorates any further.” Thea punched a pattern into the control panel of the Phaztillion generator. “Generator is primed.”

“Now, Aaron,” said Dan.

All Kevin could do now was wait and listen over the comms. It seemed to take forever before Renee reported that Wymack was awake and, although in pain which Renee was trying to mitigate, had accessed the data from Thea's device and was beginning calculations. He didn't think he was alone with his exhale of relief.

Thea beckoned him over to the navigation console.

“Make sure all of you are touching a panel,” she said, “or else the Phaztillion generator won't know you’re part of the ship and you won't phase properly.”

Kevin immediately grasped the panel with his right hand while continuing to use it with his left. He had no interest in experiencing an improper phase shift. Neither did Neil or Andrew based on the way that they, too, were holding onto panels with white-knuckled grips.

“A quarter arn until the generator is primed,” said Thea.

Time seemed to slow down. Kevin wasn't sure he'd experienced anything in his life that had taken so long before. Sweat dripped down his back slowly and his hand cramped from how tightly he was holding the panel.

“Two hundred microts until starburst,” said Katelyn.

Dan caught Kevin's eye from across command. “Be careful,” she said, “and come home soon.”

At twenty microts she started counting down for them, as Thea got ready to release the energy built up in the generator.

“Three… Two… One… Now!”

Everything around Kevin went fuzzy, like a clear film had been put across his vision. Exy's command faded out of view until all he could see was the interior of Thea's ship.

“Separation complete,” said Thea. “Brace for impact.”

They hit the division between the wormhole and the distortion zone hard, much harder than anything that he and Neil had experienced while flying the module. The ship spun briefly before Andrew regained control. Kevin yelled out a vector, following the beacon back to Exy.

“What's—” cried Thea. “Impossible!”

Kevin didn't have time to ask what was impossible before it felt like they hit a brick wall. For the second time that day his vision went white and he passed out.

He came to lying on his back. He blinked his eyes open, then rubbed them in disbelief and opened them again. The sight was the same. He was surrounded by darkness, only able to see several metres in every direction. Andrew, Neil, and Thea were all present, lying nearby on what looked like snow. From what Kevin could see the four of them were stranded on an iceberg, drifting lazily thought an endless expanse of black.

The other three were stirring now, and looking around in confusion and wonder.

“Toto,” said Kevin shakily, unsure whether he was addressing Neil or Andrew or both, “I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has violence, murder, and character death (but it's scifi, so...)
> 
> Those of you who follow me on Tumblr may have seen that I've finished the full first draft of this fic! I've updated the chapter count to reflect this. Updates will continue to occur on Wednesdays.
> 
> Thank you to everyone for your support. You guys keep me motivated to keep producing new content.

“What have you done now?” asked Andrew. He wasn’t sure how but he was certain their current predicament was Kevin’s fault.

“I didn’t do anything!” protested Kevin.

“Likely story.”

“Instead of assigning blame, why don’t we figure out where we are and how we got here?” suggested Neil. “Although, I agree that it’s obviously Kevin’s fault.”

“Hey!”

“We’re in a construct,” said Thea, assessing their surroundings.

“Construct?” echoed Kevin.

“It’s not real,” said Neil. “Or, not real as we understand it. Like with Ferdinand, remember? Our bodies remained behind but mentally we were in a construct of her design.”

“So our bodies are…?”

“Hopefully still on the ship,” said Thea.

“Considering that no one’s flying the ship, I’m not sure we should hope to be there,” said Andrew.

“Time in a wormhole is not the same as regular time,” said Thea.

“Is that why you can’t go back?” asked Kevin, his eyes desperate.

“Yes,” said a new voice. They all jumped and whirled on the newcomer.

Andrew pulled out his pulse pistol, only to watch it disintegrate in his hand. Right. They weren’t in charge here.

“Who are you?” asked Neil.

The newcomer appeared to be a pale, Sebacean man, except his eyes. Like Neil’s they were pupiless black; unlike Neil, he had no eye whites. Andrew wondered if his form was chosen to try to put them at ease, appearing to be the same species as either Andrew, Kevin, or Thea. The black eyes made the attempt worthless, being incredibly unsettling.

“My name is unimportant to our encounter,” said the man. “I come from a realm that adjoins but does not insect with yours.”

“Then how are you here?” asked Thea.

“Wormholes are the one features that traverse both our realms. A perforation of one will allow for the incursion of material from your existence into ours.”

“So?” asked Andrew.

“The species in your realm are infinitely more aggressive than in ours,” Black Eyes said.

“Why have you brought us here?” demanded Andrew.

“For a lesson.”

“You’re going to teach us how to navigate wormholes?” asked Kevin, hope bleeding into his voice.

“I am going to teach you why you shouldn’t.”

* * *

Andrew blinked. He had an uneasy feeling that he had been somewhere else a microt ago, but he dismissed the thought. He’d been right here: in the Captain’s ready room of his Command Carrier. He smoothed his hands down the front of his uniform as the door chimed.

“Enter,” he said, turning from where he’d been gazing out the viewport.

“Sir,” said one of his subordinates, entering. Andrew thought his name might be Jackson. “We’ve brought you the Nebari spy, as you commanded.”

A bound Nebari was brought in to the room, flanked by two guards. There was something familiar about him. Everything inside Andrew rebelled against this man being a prisoner.

“Release him,” he said, his words spilling out before he’d registered what he was going to say.

“Sir?” asked Jackson, sounding bewildered.

Although Andrew didn’t understand his reasoning, he doubled down. “Are you questioning my orders?”

“No, sir,” said Jackson smartly. He nodded to the guards.

Once out of his restraints, the Nebari man looked around, a hunted look passing through his eyes. He visibly forced himself to relax and smiled slyly.

“I think there’s been a mistake,” he started, holding up his hands. “I can’t provide the answers you want; I’m not a spy.”

“Then why did we find you in our data centre?” asked Jackson sarcastically.

The look the Nebari gave him was filthy. “Seemed like a good place for a… liaison.” He took a step closer to one of the guards and ran his hand from the guard’s shoulder down his arm in a sensual manner. The guard’s eyes dilated and he breathed in deeply; Andrew’s stomach twisted in discomfort and something like jealousy. “Don’t you think?”

Before anyone could answer, the Nebari relieved the guard of his weapon from his lax hand and shot him. He followed by taking out the second guard before she could react. He dodged Jackson’s shot and returned a more accurate one. Jackson slumped to the ground, his glassy eyes staring sightlessly.

Andrew got his gun up before the Nebari man turned on him. He and Andrew paused when they hit a standoff, pulse pistols aimed at each other.

“Neil,” said Andrew, not sure where the name had popped into his head from but knowing that it belonged to the man in front of him.

The Nebari man blinked in confusion. “That is not my name,” he said, but he sounded shaken.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” said Andrew. There was something tickling at the back of his mind, something that meant that he could never harm this person. That this ‘Neil’ was important. He lowered his pulse pistol.

Neil cocked his head in consideration. “Good to know,” he said as he fired his weapon directly into Andrew’s chest.

* * *

Kevin stumbled as the floor underneath him lurched. He was walking through the familiar corridors aboard Exy, but something was wrong. He was wearing his orange IASA jumpsuit that he hadn’t worn since he’d acquired more suitable clothing, and he was being herded by several DRDs.

Tripping into command, he looked around in wonder. The viewscreen showed several attacking Prowlers and Dan, M’Att, Renee, Nicky, and Allison were all desperately punching commands into consoles and yelling at each other. Kevin could recognize individual words from exposure— Allison was swearing _a lot_ — but beyond that he couldn’t understand them.

“Wow,” he said in awe. “Day one.”

Everyone turned to glare at him and he took an uncertain step back. He wasn’t used to seeing such hostility aimed at him from Dan, M’Att, or Renee. He’d forgotten how much they’d hated him when they thought he was a Peacekeeper.

“Hi, I’m Kevin,” he said, waving sheepishly. “I don’t have translator microbes so I can’t understand you, but I’m pretty sure you have to disable to synapses in that console—” he pointed to where Allison was standing “—to remove the control collar.”

Dan said something to the DRDs and Kevin felt a sharp pain in his ankle.

“—what type is it?” demanded Dan.

“My ship? Primitive compared to yours,” said Kevin. “I’m not a Sebacean; I’m human. My planet is on the other side of the universe. I just got here; I mistakenly travelled through a wormhole.”

“You seem remarkably well-informed for someone who just got here,” said Nicky suspiciously.

“I don’t know what kind of trickery this is but we won’t fall for it, Peacekeeper,” spat Dan.

Kevin looked around for support before realizing that no one here knew him. On top of that, neither of his two biggest allies/friends were on board yet. Neil was somewhere out in the Uncharted Territories and Andrew… Andrew was one of the Prowler pilots currently attacking Exy.

Kevin swallowed his hysteria. “No, I’m not lying—” he started to argue too late. M’Att lashed him with his tongue, knocking him unconscious.

He woke in a familiar cell. He closed his eyes tightly, wishing to return to the strange construct. This was just a vision, right? He wouldn’t have to live through everything again. He _couldn’t_ go through it all again.

He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Andrew sitting in the corner of the cell, still in his flight suit.

“Andrew,” he said, sitting up. “Do you have any idea what’s going on?”

Andrew removed his helmet and fixed Kevin with a calculating look. Kevin could tell instantly that this Andrew had as little memory of future events as the others did. He was used to getting unimpressed looks from Andrew but they were rarely so cold. His blood felt chilled.

“How do you know my name?” asked Andrew. “Identify yourself.”

“This is going to sound crazy but I think I’ve come back in time,” said Kevin quickly. “For me, this encounter happened about a cycle ago.”

“Time travel is an impossibility,” said Andrew.

“You’re Officer Andrew Minyard, Special Peacekeeper Commando, Icharion Company, Pleisar Regiment,” said Kevin. “You’re a genetic clone and you have a twin named Aaron. The Command Carrier you’re assigned to is captained by Riko Moriyama and you are part of its Prowler detail.”

Andrew froze. “How do you know that?”

“I already told you,” griped Kevin. “Time travel is the only explanation for how I know all that.”

Andrew stared at him for several beats, before his face smoothed completely. He got up and walked over to Kevin.

“Or you could be a spy,” he said, reaching up to put his hands on either side of Kevin’s head. Kevin was surprised— was Andrew about to kiss him? _Why?_ — and didn’t react at first, believing that Andrew would never hurt him.

“I can’t take that risk,” said Andrew. Kevin realized what was about to happen and how badly he had miscalculated a fraction of a second before Andrew twisted his hands sharply, snapping his neck.

* * *

Junior stood where Lola had directed him to stand, alone in his father’s private meeting room. He wasn’t sure why he was standing here except that he had been told that doing so was what his father wanted. He knew that serving his father was serving the Nebari Establishment, which was his purpose. Therefore, standing where he’d been directed gave him a warm glow of fulfillment.

He knew that something was happening; everyone in his father’s house had been tense all morning, but he didn’t concern himself with such things. He existed simply to serve, so he stood and waited for further instructions.

“Junior!” called the man Junior had been told was his father. “Come here.”

Junior obeyed, as always. His father was waiting for him in the next room, a large, open space. He was standing at attention, staring at something. Junior didn’t follow his gaze, didn’t feel any curiosity. He had been called and his focus was entirely upon his father, waiting for his next command.

“Do you know her?” his father asked, pointing in the direction he was staring.

Junior followed his gaze. There was an unfamiliar woman being held between two men that he vaguely recognized from around his father’s property. She was also a Nebari and was struggling wildly. There was a gash on her forehead and blood was dripping down her face. She stopped moving as soon as she caught his gaze, her eyes and mouth opening wide into large circles.

“No,” he said. Junior only knew what he was told, and he’d never been told about this woman. The only woman he knew was Lola.

“Abram,” gasped the woman, her expression frantic. “Abram, _you know me_.”

“Why is she calling me that?” Junior asked his father.

“She’s mistaken,” said his father. “She thinks you are her son.”

“I do not have a mother,” said Junior, turning to address the woman. “I have never had a mother.” He had been told this, so he knew it to be true.

The woman’s grey skin paled further as he spoke. “I knew you were a monster,” she said, her voice shaking, “but how could you do that to _your own son_?” She screwed up her face and spat at Junior’s father.

“Junior required correction,” said his father, his face triumphant.

“I was wilful and disobedient,” supplied Junior, having been told this several times. “I needed to be fixed.”

“You will pay for this,” snarled the woman. Junior was discomfited by the emotions she was displaying. Emotions were forbidden.

“You are badly outnumbered,” said Junior’s father. “Come along quietly and it won’t hurt.”

“I won’t make you the same promise,” replied the woman, a glint in her eyes. The windows surrounding the room all simultaneously exploded inwards, showering them with glass. Junior flinched at the noise, but otherwise didn’t move, having not been given instructions for this occurrence.

People with weapons entered the room, shooting all the occupants save Junior and the captive woman. Once everyone was down, lying in pools of blood, a man removed the mask he was wearing and went to unchain the woman.

Junior surveyed the dead bodies. Who would give him instruction on how to best serve the Nebari Establishment now?

The woman approached him, the man following close behind.

“Abram,” said the man in relief. “We thought we were too late.”

“You _were_ ,” snapped the woman.

Junior looked from one to the other. “My name is Junior,” he said. “Will you give me instruction?”

The man’s face slackened with an emotion that Junior didn’t recognize.

The woman reached out to caress the side of Junior’s face. “I’ll take care of you, alright?” she said.

Junior nodded. He was perfectly happy to do as he was told. There was a twinge in the back of his mind, something that was almost a feeling. It happened sometimes; he had been cleansed to remove his memories and his wrongness, but every so often he got what could only be described as echoes. He ignored them and they inevitably went away, leaving his easy existence unmarred.

The woman held out her hand, asking without words for the weapon the man was carrying.

The man shifted uneasily. “Mariana…” he said.

“Shut up, Hatford,” replied the woman as she snatched his gun. “It has to be done.”

“It doesn’t have to be you,” he replied.

“Yes it does,” she said resolutely. “Close your eyes, Abram,” she said. “Junior,” she amended when he didn’t respond.

He did as she instructed. Something cool and metal touched his forehead. He waited for further instruction until the sound of the pulse pistol echoed and he knew no more.

* * *

Neil had a splitting headache when he opened his eyes to find himself back on the iceberg construct. All the emotions that he’d been incapable of feeling during the— vision?— swamped him at once. Fear, disgust, horror… and a bone deep grief at seeing his mother alive again. He clutched his skull to try to make the pain stop.

Andrew was absent-mindedly rubbing his breastbone and giving Neil a considering look. Thea and Kevin were also looking a little shell-shocked, Kevin with a hand around his throat and Thea rubbing her hands along her arms.

“What just happened?” Neil asked them.

He was met with silence. Thea spoke first, her tone brusque. “I was back on my ship, just after the collision with yours,” she said. “My two crewmates hadn’t died and our calculations showed that one of our two ships would be dispersed as soon as we separated.” She gave them a haughty look. “I instructed my crewmates to use the Phaztillion generator to become invisible and sabotage your ship so you would choose mine to survive.”

Kevin sputtered. “Was that a _possibility_?”

Thea shrugged, looking a little discomfited. “Theoretically, yes, but I like to think not. Scientific achievement is important for me, but I still value and respect life.” She looked to Kevin. “When you found out what we were doing you confronted me. We fought and I ended up being disintegrated by the energy built up in the generator. What did you see?”

Kevin was subdued and hesitant. “Nothing like that. I was back on my first day on Exy,” he said, “but I still had my memories of everything that’s happened to me since then. Once we were locked up together the fact that I knew Andrew’s name made him not trust me.” He glared accusingly at Andrew. “You snapped my neck!”

Andrew raised an eyebrow. “It wasn’t me.” He considered. “It wasn’t current me,” he amended.

“Could we have been shown glimpses of the past?” wondered Kevin.

“I was not in the past,” said Andrew. “I was the Captain of a Command Carrier with no memory of ever being anything but a Peacekeeper. A Nebari spy— Neil— was brought before me. I was reluctant to kill him which allowed him to kill me instead.” He rubbed the spot over his breastbone again.

“Was that something from the future, maybe?” said Kevin, still grasping at straws.

“My vision or whatever it was wasn’t from the past _or_ the future,” said Neil. He swallowed and forced the words out. “I was mind cleansed,” he said. Andrew took an abortive step toward him. “Which, sure, could be the future, but my mother was there.” He rubbed his forehead. “She shot me in the head.”

There was a slightly awkward pause. “...That’s…” said Kevin helplessly.

“Yeah,” said Neil, suppressing a wild chuckle. “And she’s my _better_ parent.” He turned to Andrew. “It’s what I want to happen if I’m ever in that state again.”

“I don’t understand,” said Kevin in annoyance, “what was the point of showing us these visions?”

“They were not visions,” said the black-eyed man. He was standing in their midst, but it didn’t feel like he’d just appeared. It was as if he’d always been there and they hadn’t noticed. “The events you experienced were all real events.”

“Yet we still live,” said Andrew.

“I pulled you out before your deaths were permanent,” said Black Eyes. “Space and time are fused. A set of coordinates for each are required to locate a specific event.”

“Right,” said Kevin. “Everything happens at a time in a place. That’s the theory of relativity.”

“Movement at speed through space becomes movement in time.”

“Meaning wormholes bridge spacetime,” said Thea. “It’s why we never travel back.”

Black Eyes regarded her blankly.

“What do you mean?” asked Kevin.

“Wormholes connect two separate points in space as you know,” said Thea. “You can travel between them instantly no matter how far apart they are. But wormholes also bridge _time_. You can emerge at any point in time.”

“So what you’re saying is that everything that’s happened to me since I got here could _actually_ have happened a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away?” asked Kevin. “That I could be billions of years in the past or future compared to when I was on Earth?”

“Or it could be the same time, or last cycle, or ten thousand microts ago,” nodded Thea. “My people have a little understanding how to navigate _space_ in wormholes, but we never figured out time. If you go backwards you might end up in a time before you left.” She looked directly at Black Eyes. “Which is a big problem. That’s what you’re trying to warn us about, isn’t it?”

“It is like a rock thrown into a still pond,” said the man tonelessly. “Near the point of impact the ripples are small, but they grow as you get farther from the event.”

“Like parallel realities?” asked Kevin. “There are millions of each of us running around somewhere, making different decisions?”

“One of you, infinite possibilities,” corrected Black Eyes. “These unrealized realities only exist while you inhabit them. I showed you some of them. Things that could-have-been if different choices were made or if you crossed back into your own timeline.”

“But those things _didn’t_ happen,” protested Neil. He still felt itchy from the blank slate he’d been, from how he’d been unquestioningly obedient.

“If you remain in those realities they will eventually become your reality,” said Black Eyes.

“Are you saying… are you saying I _can’t_ go home or else I might ruin the universe?” asked Kevin.

“The knowledge you have gained about wormholes is very little in the grand scheme of things,” said Black Eyes. “But it is just enough to make you dangerous.” He cocked his head. “Perhaps I should kill you.” He did not phrase it as a threat; more like it was a benign query that puzzled him.

Andrew stepped between Black Eyes and Kevin. “I won’t let you.”

“You can’t stop me.”

“I thought your species was infinitely less aggressive than ours,” said Thea.

“Hmmm, yes,” said the man. “My purpose here is to make you afraid.”

“We are not afraid of you,” said Andrew.

“Not of me. Of the damage you can cause.”

“I just…” said Kevin helplessly. “I just want to go _home_.”

“Then there is still more for you to see.”

* * *

Again, Kevin found himself just outside of Exy’s command, the deck under his feet unsteady as the ship rocked from being attacked. This wasn’t an event he recognized, though: he was dressed exactly as he had been while on the iceberg construct as were Neil, Andrew, and Thea who all appeared slightly disoriented.

“Where are we now?” griped Thea.

Andrew led them into command before stopping short. Kevin almost ran into him, before catching sight of what had caused Andrew to hesitate. He looked around, his jaw dropping in shock.

There were six people in command, six people who were at once incredibly familiar and wildly alien. It was as if everyone on board had merged with another person. Seth was there on his hover chair, speaking loudly. Only he wasn’t quite Seth. He had Dan’s physical attributes: her skin colour, her hair, her tentacles, and her face tattoos. M’Att had Allison’s bright red hair and stretched forehead; the fact that he kept the shape of his own nose made the effect laughable. The Minyards were also present: the one that Kevin thought was Andrew had Nicky’s hair and colouring, while Aaron was bald and blue like Renee.

Kevin did a double take when he caught sight of bizarro Neil: he looked completely human. He had merged with Katelyn, inheriting her auburn hair and blue eyes and peach skin tone. Andrew was staring at this false version of Neil intently.

Neil elbowed him in the side. “I’m not going to be impressed if you’re more attracted to me as a Sebacean,” he hissed.

“No,” said Andrew instantly, although Kevin noticed he didn’t stop staring. “I just wasn’t expecting it.”

Neil hmphed, obviously not quite believing him.

The final person in command was Kevin, but not quite. His already darkly-toned skin had darkened even further to match Jean’s and he was wearing Jean’s metal mask. He wondered, incredulously, if that meant that half of his alternate’s face was made of light.

“Good, you’re back,” said Seth-Dan when he(? She? They? Kevin couldn’t quite figure out what the appropriate vocabulary was in this situation) saw the four of them. There was no surprise at their presence or their appearance. “Did it work?”

“Uh,” said Kevin intelligently.

“Did you make a deal with the Peacekeepers?” M’Att-Allison demanded. It was so strange. The fused person spoke with M’Att’s voice but their personality seemed more skewed toward Allison’s.

Seth-Dan gestured to the viewscreen. A Command Carrier was visible, its frag cannons pointed inexorably at Exy. Prowlers were attacking.

“If they had, would they still be attacking us?” asked Andrew-Nicky. There was a lot more emotion in Andrew’s voice than Kevin had ever heard before.

Seth-Dan seemed to give up on getting a satisfactory answer about their meeting with the Peacekeepers. “We’ll have to starburst,” they said instead.

“I’d love to,” drawled Wymack over his clamshell viewer. He didn’t seem to be fused with anybody, but there was still something off about him. Sure, sometimes he got annoyed with them when they were fighting each other, but he had mostly remained polite. He rarely showed his frustration, seemingly content to serve them. “Unfortunately, that waste-of-space—” Kevin was frankly insulted when he realized that Wymack meant him “—has installed so many new parts on Exy in an effort to control wormholes that we can’t.”

“Selfish tralk,” muttered M’Att-Allison.

“What about the defense screen, then?” asked Aaron-Renee.

“It’ll never stand up to a Command Carrier,” said Neil-Katelyn.

“It’s our only option,” said Andrew-Nicky, marching over to the DS generator that had been installed in command. He picked up one of the relay cables just as Exy took a hit from one of the circling Prowlers. The generator surged, throwing Andrew-Nicky backward. He landed in a heap, convulsing wildly.

Real Neil made a move as if to rush to his side, but Andrew held him back.

Instead Aaron-Renee checked on him. “He won’t survive,” they reported soberly.

“Kevin,” said Seth-Dan. Kevin’s head snapped up, but they were speaking to the Kevin-Jean hybrid. What the hell did these people think _his_ name was, then? “Put him out of his misery.”

“I’ve had enough,” announced Thea loudly. “Hey, Mr. My-name-is-unimportant-to-our-encounter? Feel free to get us out of here at any time.”

There was no response except from M’Att-Allison, “We _all_ want to get out of here!”

Kevin watched in fascinated horror as the Jean-him darted forward, unbuckling his mask to reveal the yellow glow it usually hid. He bent over Andrew-Nicky, who calmed as soon as the light was on him. His convulsions subsided, and he lay still. Kevin shot a glance at the Andrew and Neil he knew. Neil was clearly grinding his teeth together but Andrew’s face was completely blank.

Kevin-Jean started wailing. “Oh! Such sorrow! Horror! I saw pain! Oakland, Eden, Spear, Luther, Easthaven! Awful places and people!”

“Shut it,” said Wymack, mercilessly. “I thought you all might want to know that Peacekeepers have boarded Exy. I hope they kill you all.”

“ _Any_ time now!” Thea shouted at the ceiling. Kevin agreed with her. He could hear boots marching through the corridors; they were clearly outnumbered.

“I won’t go back!” shouted Kevin-Jean.

“I will never be taken prisoner again,” agreed M’Att-Allison, hefting M’Att’s qualta blade.

“Kill me, kill me,” chanted Kevin-Jean. “I have knowledge that they must never know. Kill me now! Now, _now_ , NOW, NO—” He was cut off by a pulse pistol blast. Kevin turned a shocked look on Andrew, who had been the one to shoot.

“He was being too loud,” said Andrew.

“He was an actual person who you just _murdered_!” shouted Kevin.

“This isn’t real,” replied Andrew.

“It could be,” said Thea darkly. “Remember what the man said: unrealized realities will become your permanent reality if you stay too long.”

“We’re either dying or going back,” said Andrew. “We’re not staying here.”

Peacekeeper soldiers stormed the bridge, shooting everyone in sight. Kevin covered his head and ducked, hoping that this death would be as quick as the last one.

He was surprised to find himself still alive once the shooting wound down. He looked around cautiously. Thea was also unharmed but Nebari Neil was lying dead in a pool of blue blood, making Kevin’s heart squeeze painfully. Andrew crouched over his body defensively, cradling his own bloody hand to his chest— someone had shot the gun out of his hand. The only other survivor was Neil-Katelyn, who sauntered over to join them. Kevin couldn’t help but notice that only the Sebaceans or those who were indistinguishable from Sebaceans had survived.

Riko Moriyama swept onto the bridge. “My perfect court!” he said magnanimously, looking on them with pride that turned Kevin’s stomach. “You have done well to return this vessel to us. I am sure your so-called _friends_ were shocked at your betrayal.” He opened his arms wide and moved toward Kevin to hug him. “Brother,” he said warmly.

* * *

Neil found himself on the iceberg construct again. There were sharp pains all over his body; the Peacekeepers had shot him multiple times. There was a hand on his chest, gripping his clothes tightly.

“Ugh,” he said sitting up. Andrew shuffled back to give him room but didn’t release his hold on him. “I’ve decided I don’t like dying.”

“That whole experience was terrifying,” said Kevin.

“So you have learned fear,” said Black Eyes, soundlessly popping into being in their midst.

Kevin jumped. “You should wear a bell or something,” he complained.

“My power is not infinite,” said the man. “I almost couldn’t bring you back from that reality.”

“Then you shouldn’t have sent us there,” snapped Thea.

“I had to, for you to understand,” said the man. “The changes in these timelines are not easy to repair.”

“Not _easy_ , maybe, but not impossible,” said Neil.

“If you find yourself close to the first change— the first ripple— and if you can reverse it fast enough the timeline will revert. Time is elastic; if given a chance it will revert to its natural form.”

“There’s no way that we could have done anything to change where we just were into something recognizable,” said Kevin.

“No, that reality was beyond any reversion. You do not have control over which reality you find yourself; you can end up somewhere easy to fix or somewhere else. There is too much risk.”

“But you know how!” cried Kevin. “You could teach us!”

“You know how to perform complex mathematics,” said the man. “Can you teach ants how to do so?”

“We are not ants!” protested Kevin. “We are rational, intelligent beings. Why won’t you just _try_?”

Black Eyes took a deep breath, and then spoke in a monotone. “From every point of entry a wormhole branches into multiple paths. The subdivision continues until at last you are deposited back into spacetime. The journey can be random, or with purpose; destination is the key. Every portal has a distinct spacetime signature. The only destinations you can realize by design are those of which you have foreknowledge. The more you travel, the more signatures you will catalogue. Since every destination is surrounded by similar unrealized realities, you must never return to a familiar place prior to the last time you left or else you may find yourself in a permanent unrealized reality.”

The words seemed to hang in the air.

“You mean… we can successfully travel through wormholes as long as we know the _destination_ and the _time_ we wish to go?” asked Kevin.

“Yes,” said Black Eyes. “But you do not possess the means— either biological or technological— to discern the subtle differences. If you continue on this path you will simply blunder down wormholes haphazardly and if you do manage to make it back to your home, you will likely cause a cataclysmic series of events that changes your reality completely.”

“But it’s possible!” persisted Kevin. “I should be able to recognize Earth and get back there?”

Black Eyes closed his eyes, seemingly irritated by Kevin’s persistence. “And then what? Your planet is primitive. Are they really ready to know that they are not alone in the universe? That infinitely superior forces might bear down on them? How will they treat you when you return? You are irrevocably changed from your experiences; what makes you think that you still belong on that planet?”

Kevin stepped back at the man’s sudden vehemence. “But… it’s my home.”

“You cannot always go home,” said Thea, sounding as if she were trying to be delicate with Kevin’s feelings. Neil had not thought her capable of empathy, but he supposed that her cold, businesslike exterior may be as much as a mask as his own flirtatiousness was.

“I have to _try_ ,” insisted Kevin.

“Even if it means being trapped in a different reality? Even if it means bringing death to those you care about?”

Kevin’s expression was pure stubbornness.

“Very well,” said the man in resignation. “I see that you are not going to respond to reason.”

“Whoa, hey,” said Neil, scrambling to his feet. “Not all of us are as ridiculously set on this as Kevin is. Should we all be punished for his personality?”

The man blinked slowly. “I am not going to punish you,” he said, sounding puzzled. It was as if he didn't remember that he'd threatened to kill Kevin earlier. “I am going to help you.”

“How—” started Neil, before everything was blotted out in white light. When it faded, the four of them were back on Thea’s ship in normal space.

“Is this another unrealized reality?” wondered Thea, quickly checking her instruments.

“I don’t think so,” said Neil slowly. “He said he was going to help us. Maybe he sent us back to where we’re supposed to be?” He hit his communicator. “Wymack? Dan? Anybody there?”

“They aren’t,” said Kevin in a strangled voice. He was staring out the viewport at the nearby planet. It didn’t look very impressive. Only one moon, mostly water with brown-green landmasses.

“What do you mean?” said Neil. “Where are we?”

“Home,” said Kevin in a strangled voice. “That’s Earth.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter features minor body horror and character death.

Andrew looked from Kevin’s slackened face to the viewscreen. He’d always suspected that Earth was nothing special, just a planet like any other— albeit more primitive than most— and that Kevin’s strange attachment to it was because it was his place of origin. Even that Andrew didn’t really understand. Sure, he’d known Peacekeepers who had been nostalgic about their home colonies, but Andrew had been born in a lab. His father was a test tube and his mother was an incubator. He had no attachment to the place of his birth.

Frankly he was glad he didn’t, if gazing at one’s beloved home planet put such a dopey look of awe and affection on one’s face. Kevin looked particularly mentally deficient as he stared in a stupor at the viewscreen.

“Are you getting any transmissions?” he asked Thea hopefully, his eyes never leaving Earth. “Anything from the surface? Anything that tells you the date?”

She was quiet for a time, before nodding and telling Kevin what her instruments were picking up.

“Seven months,” said Kevin. “It’s only been seven months since I left.” He looked dumbfounded. “This is what he meant. This is what he meant when he said he’d help us.”

“Help _you_ maybe,” said Andrew. “I don’t see how it helps the rest of us.”

A flash of guilt passed over Kevin’s face, quickly replaced with arrogant superiority. “You can’t go back through the wormhole.”

Neil laughed incredulously. “That’s a little rich coming from you,” he said.

“You remember the unrealized realities,” said Kevin. “You could jeopardize everything.”

“That didn’t seem to matter when it was you who wanted to go back,” replied Neil acidly.

“You could ruin me getting home!” Kevin protested.

“It’s good to know that everything’s still all about you,” said Neil.

“This argument is pointless,” Thea cut in coolly. “My instruments aren’t picking up any proto-wormhole activity. It’s like he sealed the door behind us.”

_Aaron_ , Andrew thought with a pang, before ruthlessly quashing the thought. Aaron was alive, unharmed, and didn’t want Andrew around anyway.

He caught Neil’s eye, surprised to find a momentary stricken expression which Neil quickly hid with a careless smile. “At least I won’t be found by the Nebari here,” he shrugged. “Think the humans will like me?”

He masked it well but Andrew could see the uncertainty underneath. He understood; he remembered what Black Eyes had warned about the humans’ reaction to alien life. At least he and Thea _looked_ human. Neil would forever be recognized as an outsider by sight alone.

“We could keep looking,” said Thea.

“But we can’t go back,” Andrew pointed out, “and we have no idea where we’d end up. There’s no guarantee it would be any better.” He stared down at the blue-green planet and resigned himself. “We may as well land here.”

“This ship isn’t designed to enter atmosphere,” said Thea. “We’ll have to take the escape shuttle to the surface.”

“Shotgun!” said Kevin, practically bouncing on his feet in excitement.

Andrew glanced around, approving that Kevin was thinking of security concerns for once. “Where?” he asked.

“It’s a saying,” said Kevin. “You’re going to have to learn English, all of you. Ha! For once I’m not the least informed! We’ll see how you like being a fish out of water. That’s an idiom that means—”

“It’s clear from context,” Andrew interrupted. “If you don’t stop gloating, we’re not leaving the ship.”

“But—” said Kevin.

“Do you want to die within sight of your home planet?” asked Andrew.

“I don’t want to die at all,” said Kevin mulishly before falling silent.

Thea’s ship was shockingly lacking a weapons' locker and Andrew only had his single pulse pistol and the knives he always kept equipped. Kevin kept trying to insist that they didn’t need weapons but Andrew wasn’t about to walk into potentially hostile territory unarmed. He already felt an itch under his skin without his pulse rifle.

The escape shuttle looked much like the rest of Thea’s ship; the technology was strange and clearly more advanced than what he was used to. It also did not have weapons. Andrew did not understand her race at all. How could you send explorers on missions without adequately supplying them? The universe was a violent place.

“You don’t happen to have a way to hide us from their surveillance, do you?” he asked. The humans couldn’t detect them in space but Kevin had mentioned that they had monitoring systems that used radar on the surface.

“Not in the shuttle,” said Thea ruefully. “I could probably figure something out with the Phaztillion generator for the ship, but the shuttle doesn’t have the kind of power necessary to run it.”

“So we just have to hope they don’t blast us out of the sky?” asked Neil.

Kevin, for some reason, sounded shocked by this suggestion. “Why would they do that?”

“Why would they find an unidentified aircraft from outer space hostile?” said Neil dryly. “Gee, Kevin, I do not know.”

Kevin gaped at him. “You spoke English,” he said, a mixture of pride and confusion. “I didn’t know you could do that.”

“There are lots of things you don’t know,” said Andrew.

“I figured I should practice,” said Neil, his face tense.

“They’re not going to hurt you,” said Kevin, showing more empathy and understanding for Neil’s discomfort than Andrew had suspected him capable of. “I promise.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” Andrew warned.

Kevin shook his head. “Let’s just go. You’ll see.”

Kevin gave Thea directions, sending her to the smaller of the two major landmasses. He was muttering to himself, trying to decide where they should land.

“Not too close to a city… but close enough to civilization that we can get a ride back… maybe the desert? Oh! New Mexico,” he chuckled. “Area 51. Give them a _real_ alien encounter.”

“I’ve got a couple small ships on sensors,” said Thea. “They appear to be chasing us.”

“Probably fighter jets, coming to see who we are,” said Kevin. “Go ahead and land. Then they can see that we’re not dangerous.”

“Speak for yourself,” said Andrew, the itch under his skin increasing. He hated how out of his control this entire situation was.

“Andrew,” said Kevin seriously. “Don’t pull a weapon on anyone. Let me handle it and talk to them, okay?”

Andrew gave him a skeptical look.

“Trust me,” pleaded Kevin.

Andrew clenched his jaw and nodded sharply. Against his better judgment he’d let Kevin handle it. He was the one who belonged here, after all.

Thea landed the shuttle in a mostly-barren region. Nothing could be seen between them and the horizon except sandy soil that supported small scrub plants that were _green_ for some reason. Andrew stared at them in fascination through the viewscreen as the ship touched down.

“Your awful planet is too frelling hot,” he grumbled to Kevin as they emerged into a temperature that was _clearly_ above optimum.

“Not everywhere,” said Kevin, sighing happily. He paced away from the shuttle before abruptly falling on his back to look up at the sky.

“Then you should have taken us somewhere better,” said Andrew distastefully.

“Look at that sky!” said Kevin enthusiastically, his laughter half-hysterical and half-relieved.

Andrew glanced up. The sky wasn’t remarkable in any way. He watched as several small aircraft— Kevin had called them _jets_ — circled lazily above them, likely keeping an eye on them. He could feel his tension ratcheting higher and higher as he waited for something to happen. Antsy at waiting for someone to show up to greet them, Neil was having trouble keeping still. He continuously wandered farther away from the shuttle than Andrew found comfortable before acquiescing to Andrew’s demands that he return. After about three quarters of an arn, a dust plume rose from the south. Andrew nudged Kevin with his foot and nodded toward it.

“Stay back while I talk to them,” said Kevin, picking himself off the ground.

It didn't take long before the haze in the distance resolved into several wheeled black transports. They came to a halt less than a quarter metra away. People in uniforms poured out of the vehicles, pointing weapons at them.

“Kevin,” said Andrew warningly.

“Trust me,” repeated Kevin, walking forward with his hands raised. “I am Commander Kevin Day of the International Aeronautics and Space Administration,” he announced loudly.

“Stay where you are!” a man shouted.

Kevin squinted. “Browning!” he cried in recognition, waving his arms. “It’s me, Browning! I’m back!” He took another step forward.

“I said stay where you are!”

“Tell them to put the guns down, Browning,” said Kevin in annoyance. “You _know_ me!”

Instead of answering the man called Browning jerked his hand sharply. Before Andrew could react several of the soldiers fired their weapons. Andrew dodged, but one of their projectiles hit him in the thigh. Pulling it out, he identified it as a dart of some kind before numbness and blackness overtook him.

* * *

When Kevin regained consciousness he was in a cell, lying on an uncomfortable cot that was up against a cinderblock wall. He was relieved to see that he wasn’t alone; his still-unconscious companions all lay on similar cots. Although he was annoyed and confused at Browning’s actions, he was glad that they hadn’t separated him from his friends.

The cell was reinforced concrete on three sides and thick, likely-bulletproof glass on the other. It looked out into some kind of industrial bunker that seemed familiar. He felt as if he were in a fishbowl. A multitude of people in uniforms and lab coats were milling around outside, monitoring the cell and examining objects that they’d taken from him and the others while they were unconscious.

A great surge of anger almost choked him. How _dare_ they treat them like this, especially Browning who _knew_ him. He was an air force colonel that Kevin had met when he’d been in New Mexico performing test flights on his module.

He sat up on his cot slowly, a little dizzy from whatever sedative they’d shot him with. None of the others were stirring, although Neil shivered from time to time.

His movement caught the attention of the soldiers standing guard. One of them motioned to Browning; Kevin couldn’t hear anything through the glass. Browning approached the cell and pulled up a chair. He sat and relaxed slightly, looking like a television cop about to begin an interrogation. Doubt and fear roiled in Kevin’s stomach.

Browning reached out to press an intercom, letting his voice filter into the cell. “Who are you?” he asked.

Kevin fixed him with his most displeased glower. “I’m Commander Kevin Day of IASA _as I already told you_.”

“You certainly resemble Commander Day,” Browning allowed. “But he was killed in an accident seven months ago. So I ask again: who are you?”

Kevin blinked in surprise. For some reason he hadn’t expected everyone to think he was dead. He’d thought their instruments had picked up the wormhole.

“I didn’t die,” he said. “I… just got a little lost.” The whole story spilled out: his trip through the wormhole, his travels on Exy, his luck in getting back.

Browning watched impassively, interjecting questions now and again. He didn’t seem very convinced. “Your blood work shows foreign microbes,” he said.

“Were you not listening? I was injected with translator microbes,” said Kevin, his limited patience quickly dwindling. “Wait, when did you take my blood?”

Browning paused and gave him a look that made him feel two inches tall. “While you were unconscious.”

“And the others, too?” asked Kevin. “You didn’t have the right! Why aren’t they awake yet? What have you done to them?”

“Their sedative was slightly stronger than your own,” said Browning. “We wanted to talk to you first.”

“Well now you have! So let us out of here,” demanded Kevin.

“We don’t know that you don’t carry any diseases,” said Browning. “Or that your… _friends_ —” the amount of disdain he put on the word caught Kevin off guard “—mean us no harm. Or that you’re telling the truth. So you’ll stay in there for now.”

“If I’m telling— _of course_ I’m telling you the truth! What would be the purpose of lying?”

“I can’t take risks with our global security,” said Browning simply. He turned to the room at large. “Who here speaks another language?”

Kevin watched as several people answered, surprised that he recognized most of the people milling around. It filled him with rage. He’d worked with most of these people during his years at IASA; why were they just standing by and watching Browning treat him like a lying imposter?

A man stepped forward to the glass. “Can you understand me?” he asked in Spanish.

“Yes, Towns, I can understand you,” said Kevin irritably. “I also remember that we shared a beer last year and you spent the whole time complaining that your girl was going to leave you.”

Towns didn’t react other than to nod to Browning. Browning shooed him away, and a woman came forward. Kevin was pretty sure that she’d gone to the same university that he had for his PhD.

She spoke in a language Kevin couldn’t quite identify— maybe Swedish? “Do you understand my language?”

Kevin crossed his arms and glared at Browning.

“Well?” said Browning. “What did she say?”

“She said, ‘Fuck you, Browning’,” snarled Kevin.

Browning merely raised an eyebrow.

“You don’t get to treat me like a criminal. I’m done cooperating.”

“You have no leverage here,” said Browning, his tone reasonable.

Kevin didn’t answer. He laid down on his cot, turned to face the wall, and refused to respond.

“Fine,” Browning eventually said. “Stay in there and think about your situation.”

Kevin stared at the grey cinderblock in front of him and tried not to let any tears fall.

* * *

Kevin stayed facing the wall until he heard the telltale rustling that meant the others were waking up. He sat up to talk to them, quailing a little when he met Andrew’s eyes.

“Remember when Kevin said, ‘It’ll be _fine_ , I _promise_ ,’” said Neil derisively. He looked awful. He was always grey, but he looked haggard and drawn and was shivering uncontrollably.

“What’s wrong with you?” asked Thea.

“Nothing,” said Neil quickly. He unsuccessfully tried to stop shivering. “I’m fine.”

“That is not even slightly convincing,” said Andrew.

“It must be a side-effect from the sedative,” said Kevin. “It probably affected his physiology differently than ours.”

Andrew’s gaze swept over the cell and through the glass appearing uninterested, but Kevin knew him well enough that he was cataloguing threats.

The two guards standing at attention outside their holding pen had both leaned in when they started speaking; Kevin assumed that the speakers were currently set to allow sound out but not in. It must be strange for them, hearing these alien languages. He let himself listen to the actual words instead of the translations; at least the Sebacean and Nebari languages that Andrew and Neil spoke sounded almost like they could be foreign but still Earth-based languages. M’Att or Renee’s languages wouldn’t have sounded like speech to them.

“Why are they treating us like this?” asked Thea. “We are not criminals.”

“Depends who you ask,” said Neil.

“You’re the first aliens they’ve ever seen,” said Kevin.

“Their fear makes them dangerous,” said Thea.

“Why are you locked up?” Neil asked Kevin. “They should at least recognize you.”

“They think I’m lying about who I am.”

“I can’t believe they’re even stupider than you are,” said Andrew. “You always claimed to be a comparatively intelligent human but I assumed you were lying.”

Browning returned to the cell window. “What are they saying?” he asked.

Neil answered before Kevin could, speaking near-perfect English. He had an strange accent and he spoke with a precision uncommon among native English-speakers, putting effort into making himself clear and understandable. “We want to know why we are locked up and why I am sick.”

Browning was clearly taken aback at Neil’s response. Kevin noticed that he wasn’t looking at Neil directly, his eyes shying away from him. “You had a reaction to the sedative,” he said. “We can give you something to make you feel better.”

“Or you can suck my dick,” said Neil.

“Neil!” hissed Kevin.

Browning just stared.

“Did I not get the saying right?” asked Neil, sounding innocent. He switched back to his native language. “They’ve already poisoned me once,” he pointed out. “I’m not exactly keen to let them try again.”

Andrew stood and approached the glass. Something in his expression made Browning take a step back. He then grimaced and glowered to cover up his fear with bravado.

“Let us out or you will be the one the first one I kill,” Andrew said, his tone flat.

Browning looked past him to Kevin.

“He requests that we be let out of this cage.”

“We haven’t yet discerned whether or not you pose a threat to our population. You may be carrying some kind of disease.”

“I was perfectly healthy before you shot me,” said Neil, in English again.

“Their medical technology far surpasses our own,” Kevin told Browning. “Their societies have mostly eradicated illness. I understand caution, but you are being unreasonable.”

“That may be—” started Browning before he was distracted by a commotion in the back of the bunker. He turned to see what was happening. Several soldiers were trying to block someone from accessing to the room. Kevin’s eyes widened as the person pushed her way through them and he saw that it was his mother.

“Mom!” he yelled, throwing himself forward to hit the glass that was keeping him from running to her.

“Cut the sound,” snapped Browning, before striding away to deal with the situation.

Kevin couldn’t stop himself from hitting the inside of the glass and calling for his mother. He saw her meet Browning with a haughty look and a stubborn set to her jaw. He smiled despite his predicament: his mother always got whatever she wanted when she wore that expression. She was both an immovable object and an unstoppable force when she was in the correct mood.

Browning ran his hands through his hair, looking exasperated, but it didn’t take long before his shoulders slumped and he nodded. He directed Kayleigh Day over to the cell, looking completely resentful.

The sound was turned back on. She stepped up and pinned Kevin with a look. It was another one he was very familiar with: she was trying to catch Kevin in a lie, wearing the expression she would turn on him when he tried to explain away the broken vase or the missing cookies.

“Mom,” said Kevin, dangerously close to sobbing. His voice cracked on the word.

Her chin trembled for a second before she squared it. “Tell me what happened on your tenth birthday,” she said. It was not a request.

“My tenth—” said Kevin, wracking his brain. “I don’t— I was ten! It’s not really the clearest memory I have. Give me a hint?”

“We were living in Bethesda at the time.”

“Right…” said Kevin, the fuzzy memory slowly coming back to him. “You were… you were in Houston for a training exercise. I remember being jealous because I was sick of winter. You called the night before my birthday to say that you were detained and wouldn’t be able to make it back in time. Nana said we’d have a cake anyway, even if you couldn’t be there.”

“You were angry,” said his mother, her eyes softening minutely as he spoke.

“It wasn’t the first time I was angry at you for being away.”

“No, it wasn’t,” she replied. “What happened next?”

“You woke me up before dawn; I thought I was dreaming at first. I told you to go away and let me sleep.”

“You’ve always been terrible at mornings,” she said, her eyes glistening. She cleared her throat. “I caught the red-eye back. You made me realize that being with you was more important than anything else.”

“You promised that you and I could spend the day together, just the two of us.”

“You argued that you couldn’t miss school.”

“Education is important,” Kevin grumbled.

His mother smiled tremulously. “I let you decide where we were going. You picked the Smithsonian. We spent all day at the Air and Space Museum.”

“Mom…” Kevin said slowly. “It was the Museum of Natural History. I wanted to see the fossils and the space exhibit always made me sad to think about you being away.”

Her composure broke. “Oh, Kevin,” she practically sobbed, reaching out to spread her hand across the glass. “I thought I’d lost you.”

“This is all very touching,” said Browning, “but—”

She wheeled around on him. “You will let my son out of this enclosure,” she said fiercely.

“We don’t know what kind of—”

“You will let him out now.”

The two of them stood off against each other.

Browning broke first. “Fine. But only him. The others stay.”

Her eyes narrowed. “For now.”

“Mom, we can’t leave them here,” argued Kevin.

“I’ll work it out, Kevin,” his mother replied; the softness she’d displayed before had all but disappeared. She was back in Colonel Day mode, all business. “But first I want to spend some time alone with you, without everyone else watching us.”

He turned to the others, taking in their resigned and slightly hostile expressions. “I’ll be back and I’ll get you out of here soon,” he said. “I promise.”

“Your promises mean very little if you never keep them,” said Andrew.

Kevin was stung but he had to admit that his position of being locked in a cell didn’t give him much of a leg to stand on. He swallowed around the lump in his throat and nodded. “I’ll be back soon,” he said, and headed to the secure exit of their sealed chamber.

* * *

Once Kevin was out of the cell he realized that he _did_ recognize where he was; it was the bunker that had housed his module when he was doing tests at the army base in Area 51.

“Come on,” he told his mother after the longest and most satisfying hug ever, leading her up to a place he’d found by chance the last time he’d been here: a secluded break room that had a large picture window that looked out over the landscape. If you ignored the thick walls and razor wire, the view was beautiful.

He raided the break room’s cupboards, looking for anything edible. He lucked out by finding a box of chocolates. It was only cheap milk chocolate but he moaned in ecstasy as it ate it. Food cubes had kept him alive but he hadn’t had anything with _flavour_ since he’d left home.

“They have the most amazing technology, Mom,” he sighed, slumping down on a slightly suspect couch and taking another bite of chocolate, “but they do _not_ have chocolate.”

His mother was watching him, with fond amusement in her eyes. Behind that there was something else, something deeper hiding beneath. Grief, Kevin thought, grief and despair and fragile hope. He assumed his expression mirrored hers.

She’d never let him see her emotions before. Being a woman in a male-dominated profession meant that she had to be twice as good to get half as much and couldn’t afford to display what her superiors would refer to as a woman’s weakness. She’d always been a brick wall, never letting anything outwardly affect her. Seeing beyond the veil was disconcerting.

Shying away from his mother’s emotions, he flipped through the magazines that were spread across the lounge table. They were mostly scientific journals, although there were also a few popular titles.

“These are all seven months out of date,” he realized, scattering them so he could get a glimpse of all of them. “I was looking forward to hearing who won the World Series.”

“I didn’t watch,” said his mother.

Kevin couldn’t believe it. They’d always watched the World Series together.

His mother looked away. “It was too painful,” she admitted quietly, before brusquely changing the topic. “Look, Kevin, it was easy enough for me to get you out of Browning’s greedy paws, but you’re human and my son. It’ll be a pitched battle to free the others.”

“You have to, Mom,” he replied. “They deserve better than what Browning’s doing. I don’t understand it! For years we’ve wanted to know we’re not alone in the universe and as soon as we find out we’re not, we treat them like _this_.” He shook his head in disappointment.

“Imagine it from our perspective,” she said. “Two of the aliens you brought with you look _exactly_ like humans. And you say they’re more advanced than us? What stops them from walking around freely, sabotaging us from the inside? I may not like Browning’s methods, but his fear is justified.”

“So we should never give them a chance? Treat them like criminals or worse— animals? Something to be locked up and studied?”

“People need to feel safe.”

“This isn’t the way.”

She looked away from him. “Are you sure?” she asked. “You don’t know what you’re up against. Are you sure you want to risk everything for these… creatures?”

He pulled back from her. “Creatures?” he repeated. “They’re people. And, yes, I’m willing to risk anything for them. They’ve saved my life, more than once.” He swallowed. “They’re my friends.”

His mother met his eyes searchingly. “Alright,” she said quietly. “Alright.” Her face turned thoughtful. “Browning has complete control over this facility; there’s very little I can do right now.”

“You have friends in high places,” Kevin pointed out. “Call in all the favours you’ve amassed over your career. Please.”

“I’m not sure that anyone will help,” she admitted.

“You’ll make them,” he replied. He felt like a small child again, believing completely that his mother could fix anything.

* * *

After another couple hours catching up and basking in each other’s company, his mother reluctantly left to start making phone calls and Kevin headed back down to the cell where his friends were being held. The sun had set in the interim. It didn’t make much of a difference in the bunker, except that the night shift had started. It was eerily empty; there were only two guards in the room, both of them people Kevin recognized.

Something seemed off but it wasn’t until he was halfway to the cell that he realized what it was: Neil was nowhere to be seen. Andrew was sitting on his cot and now that Kevin was closer he could see that he was practically vibrating with rage. He had a thousand-yard dead-eyed stare and a livid bruise blooming beside his left eye.

Kevin tripped forward, feeling oddly disconnected from his body. One of the guards on duty said something but he couldn’t distinguish the words. In a panic, he hit the control on the outside of the cell that let him speak to the occupants.

“What happened?” he demanded.

Andrew slowing raised his eyes to meet his. Kevin flinched; the eye next to the bruise was completely filled with blood. “They took Neil,” Andrew said, his voice raspy and expressionless.

“Where? Why?”

“You tell me.”

“Once you left he got sicker,” said Thea, also sounding upset. “That man, the one you called Browning, said that they had something to cure his illness.”

“That’s good, isn’t it?” asked Kevin.

“Except Neil told them— in your human language so they could understand him— that he didn’t trust them. That he wanted to wait for you to come back so you could go with him to oversee what they were doing to him,” said Thea.

“No one told me,” protested Kevin. “Of course I would have—”

“They took Neil,” Andrew cut in. “They took him from me by force.” He stood and stalked over to the glass. “I am going to get him back.”

“Wait, Andrew, I’ll see if I can find out what’s going on—”

“I have waited and trusted you as you asked. And I was shot and put in a cage and _they took Neil_ ,” said Andrew, his eyes no longer blank but filled with fathomless anger. “I have had enough. I am going to get him back from these monsters.”

“I know these are your people,” said Thea, more diplomatically. “And there are likely good people on this planet, many of them. But these men are _not_.”

“You are either with us or with them,” said Andrew as an ultimatum. “Which is it?”

Kevin looked to the two guards, both of them watching him impatiently. “What are the aliens saying?” said the one on the right; Kevin was pretty sure his name was Kurt.

“Where did they take the other one? The grey one?” asked Kevin.

“He was sick,” said Kurt, his expression shifty. “They took him to the medical suite.”

Kevin turned back to Andrew. He spoke in French, knowing that the translator microbes would let Thea and Andrew understand, but that the guards wouldn’t. “Of course I’m with you.”

He struck suddenly, before Kurt knew what was happening. He disarmed him, taking advantage of his surprise, and then shot both him and the other guard with tranquilizer darts.

Using Kurt’s keycard, he unlocked the cell.

“Andrew…” he said as Andrew stalked out. Kevin flinched back, sure that Andrew was going to attack him. Instead, he went straight to the unconscious guards and took a handgun off Kurt.

“These are still my people,” said Kevin. “Don’t kill anyone.”

“Only if they haven’t hurt Neil,” replied Andrew, which Kevin knew was as good as he was going to get. Andrew gestured with the gun he was holding. “They took him this way.”

“I know where the medical suite is,” said Kevin, leading the way.

The halls were deserted. Even knowing how late it was, it was strange. This base had always been buzzing with activity when Kevin had been there. Granted, he’d never been there outside of normal daily operating hours.

Pushing his way into the medical suite, he stopped short when he found it dark and deserted.

“Maybe they left him undisturbed to sleep?” suggested Kevin, not really believing what he was saying. He checked all the beds, making sure to push aside privacy curtains, but there was no sign of Neil. Deciding to see if there was any paperwork or a medical chart that might hint at Neil’s whereabouts, he headed back across the room, pausing when he heard a door open farther in the suite.

He looked over and saw that Andrew had pulled open an insulated door— the kind that led to a refrigerated room. Like a morgue.

Dread settled in his belly as he made his way over, feeling like he was in a dream. Cold air spilled past the door and took up residence in his bones. The room was misty and dimly-lit; there was a single, metal table in the middle of it on which lay a sheet-covered form. Kevin wanted to grab Andrew and make him leave— leave this room and go elsewhere to find Neil and never, ever have to see what was under that sheet.

Andrew seemed frozen at first, before taking a couple steps forward and lifting the sheet. Kevin couldn’t see what was under it from his vantage point but Andrew’s face went completely blank.

“You promised,” said Andrew, his flat voice echoing in the dark room. “You promised that they wouldn’t hurt us.” He threw back the sheet violently.

Neil was unmistakably dead, but that wasn’t the worst part. No, the worst part was that after his death he’d been cut open to be studied. His skin was still pulled back, and all his internal organs were on display.

Kevin gagged. People that he knew and had even once liked had killed his friend to cut him open and study his insides. Kevin turned away, doubling over and retching. He managed to reach a garbage can before he brought up all the chocolate he’d eaten earlier.

Andrew leaned close to Neil— to Neil’s _body_ , Kevin thought, dry heaving— and started making a slew of promises: that he wouldn’t leave him there, that he’d kill everyone who’d laid a hand on him, that he would burn this world down for what had been done to him.

“Andrew,” said Kevin, spitting the sour vomit taste from his mouth, “there’s nothing you can do now.”

“I can kill them all.”

“There are hundreds of them,” argued Thea. “They’ll kill _you_.”

“Then I will take as many of them with me as I can.”

“We can regroup, come up with a better plan,” pleaded Kevin. “I can sneak you out but we have to go now.”

“What are your words worth?” said Andrew. His blank look was gone, replaced with rage. Kevin could tell that there was no hope of getting him to act rationally, blinded as he was with grief and anger.

He opened his mouth to try anyway when the entrance to the medical suite was pushed open and a young woman in scrubs bustled in. She gasped when she saw them and tried to backtrack, but Andrew shot a single, precise bullet in her head. She fell like a puppet whose strings had been cut, blood leaking from the small hole between her eyes.

“Christ, Andrew!” swore Kevin, ducking and feeling ill again.

“I told you what would happen,” said Andrew. “Why are you surprised? You’re lucky I didn’t shoot you.”

“You don’t know that she had anything to do with it!”

“She was here. That is enough.”

Kevin glanced back at the woman and did a double take. “I know her,” he said slowly.

Thea tsked. “You’ve known everyone so far.”

Kevin held up a hand, his mind whirring. It felt like he was on the cusp of understanding something very important. “But she shouldn’t be here; we went to elementary school together.”

“And she grew up to work here,” said Thea, clearly not understanding what he was getting at.

“I’ve known or recognized every single person since we’ve landed. Every. Single. One. What are the odds of that happening? And I’ve been in this facility before: I’ve even been in the morgue during the tour I was given. I haven’t seen _anything_ that I haven’t before. Even the magazines in the break room were all things I’d already read.”

“What are you saying?” asked Thea.

“What I’m saying is that I haven’t seen anything new; everybody here and every place we’ve been could have been taken directly from my memories. It’s statistically impossible! This has got to be a trick of some kind! Another construct or something!”

The room faded out of sight until they were standing in a completely dark area, lit by a spotlight that seemed to come from nowhere.

“Impressive,” said his mother, stepping into the light.

Andrew moved to shoot her, but his gun had disappeared with the rest of the environment.

“You are not my mother,” spat Kevin.

“No,” she admitted. “But the deception was necessary.”

“Necessary? How could this be necessary?” demanded Kevin. “How could making me think I’d come home—” he choked on his words. “How could _killing Neil_ be necessary?”

“Your friend is unharmed,” said the woman who wore his mother’s face.

“Prove it,” said Andrew sharply.

The blackness dissolved and they were back aboard Thea’s ship, the viewscreen showing the silver-blue tunnel-like interior of a wormhole. Neil was sitting and watching them, whole, alive, and alert.

Andrew exploded into motion as soon as Neil came into view. He shoved Kayleigh aside as he made his way to Neil. He took Neil’s face in his hands, tilting his head back so that Neil was looking up at him. Kevin could see his knuckles turning white from how tightly he was gripping Neil’s skull.

“I’m fine,” said Neil. He reached up to tap the bruise beside Andrew’s eyes. “Less injured than you.”

The intensity with which they were staring at each other made Kevin a little uncomfortable. He shifted and averted his eyes, feeling like an intruder.

“ _Why_ ,” Andrew ground out. His eyes never left Neil but he was clearly talking to Kayleigh.

“As I said, it was necessary,” she replied.

“Take off my mother’s face,” implored Kevin.

“Do you wish to say goodbye first?” she asked. He shook his head and her features seemed to melt, turning into the familiar sight of the black-eyed man who they’d dealt with before.

“So it was another unrealized reality?” asked Thea.

“No,” said Black Eyes. “It was a simulation. Using your memories of Earth, I showed you what would happen if you ever returned to your place of origin. The human reaction.”

“You don’t know that’s what would happen!” argued Kevin.

“Did it seem unreal to you? Did anything strike you as impossible?”

“I noticed that everything was slightly off, didn’t I?” countered Kevin.

“But if you hadn’t recognized everyone, would their actions have been surprising to you? Truly?”

Kevin automatically opened his mouth to argue before he caught sight of Neil’s dark eyes watching him intently. Neil, who had been murdered by people Kevin knew after Kevin told him that he’d be safe. Kevin had been horrified when he’d seen his dead body, and angry and disgusted. But not surprised, not really. Humans often couldn’t even find common ground with other people who were from a different part of the same planet. He knew, deep down, that even if Neil hadn’t been killed he would have been detained and studied, probably for the rest of his life. As would Andrew and Thea. And Kevin would never again be free to do as he wished.

“You understand now,” said the black-eyed man.

“I can't go home,” Kevin whispered. He felt empty inside, blank, numb.

“You can return to _a_ home,” said Black Eyes. With that he disappeared and Thea’s ship exited the wormhole into normal space.

Thea turned to her console, but Kevin already knew where they were due to the welcome sight that was showing on the viewscreen.

Kevin’s communicator came to life. “I can’t believe that worked,” said Dan, sounding breathless. “Everyone okay?”

“Yes,” replied Kevin, dully. “Sorry we took so long.”

“What are you talking about? It’s been less than five hundred microts since we separated.”

“Oh,” said Kevin. “It felt like longer for us.”

* * *

It felt strange that their shipmates had no sense of intervening time since they’d last seen each other. From Neil's perspective, several solars had passed. He had died _three_ times. It was odd to go back to normal without acknowledging all that had happened.

Although they weren’t quite back to normal. Thea was still around; both her ship and Exy were still damaged and in need of repair from their recent ordeal. She tethered her ship to Exy and came aboard to make plans.

Kevin was obviously affected by what had happened, his face sad and drawn. He was subdued, letting Allison and Dan boss him around without bristling. Dan kept shooting him worried glances when he wasn’t looking while Allison kept coming up with more and more outrageous instructions in order to provoke him. Still, he took it all silently, like he was in a stupor.

Andrew clearly had not forgotten that Neil had died twice in front of him. His reaction upon seeing Neil alive and whole after their time on fake Earth had taken Neil aback. He knew that Andrew was attracted to him and trying not to be but he hadn’t thought that he would care much if he lived or died. He supposed it had to do with Andrew’s promise to protect him; Andrew was the type of man who kept his word.

Andrew had been mostly silent since their return to Exy, which no one else noticed as odd. Neil had seen him give Aaron a surreptitious head-to-toe examination to check his well-being once they got back, but he hadn’t paid any attention to any of the others. Instead, he seemed content keeping within arm’s reach of Neil.

It wasn’t until Neil returned to his quarters, Andrew following behind and closing the door after them, that Andrew moved to touch him. He reached out and drew Neil against him.

“Yes or no?” he asked, their faces just a breath apart, his eyes seeming to shine gold.

“Yes,” Neil breathed, surprising himself with _how much_ he wanted.

The kiss had a tinge of desperation to it, as if Andrew was proving to himself that Neil was unharmed.

“I’m fine,” Neil whispered, when Andrew pulled back. He had a hold of Neil’s hips, his grip almost painful. “It wasn’t real.” He wound his fingers through Andrew’s hair.

“They took you and I couldn’t stop them,” said Andrew roughly, pressing his forehead against Neil’s. “You died. I saw your body.”

“I’m sorry.”

Andrew’s grip tightened even further. “Don’t,” he said sharply. Then, softer, “Don’t do it again.”

Neil chuckled dryly. “I’ll do my best not to.” Andrew started to pull away but Neil held on to him. “Stay,” he requested, his tone low and suggestive so Andrew knew what he was asking for.

Andrew gazed at him steadily. “Are you sure? You’re not asking because you think it’s what I want?”

“You do want,” Neil pointed out, with as much certainty as he was capable of infusing into his tone, “but so do I. Not to pay you or reward you but because _I_ _want_ _you_.”

“This means nothing,” said Andrew, leaning in to kiss him again.

“I know,” replied Neil before he lost himself to sensation.


	13. Chapter 13

Andrew was mostly trying not to get in the way as Thea, Kevin, and Katelyn bustled around Thea’s ship making repairs. They had enough supplies on board the two ships to complete all the repairs they required but both of them were vulnerable while they worked. Luckily, they had chosen this region of space to hide from bounty hunters because it was mostly deserted. Furthermore, they’d retreated into a nebula which masked them from any sensors in the area.

Kevin had thrown himself wholeheartedly into helping Thea fix her ship. Now, with Katelyn’s help, they were trying to modify it so it could be flown through wormholes with fewer than three people. Andrew wasn’t sure if Thea was planning on leaving once they were finished. He also wasn’t sure what Kevin’s future plans were, now that it seemed that he had no options for ever returning to Earth. He _had_ noticed that Kevin had started following Thea around like a pet.

It was different, he told himself, from how he wanted to stay within reach of Neil. Even now, knowing that Neil was perfectly safe on Exy helping with repairs, he felt unsettled. It was only because of seeing him dead, he decided, no matter that it hadn’t been real. It had looked and felt and smelled real. Neil may be completely unharmed but that didn’t stop the clear memories that Andrew had. His brain kept helpfully reminding him how Neil’s dead body had looked, splayed and mutilated, whenever Neil wasn’t in his direct line of sight.

He didn’t feel anything for Neil; he just didn’t like breaking his promise of protection. That was what sent a wave of nausea through him when he thought of Neil’s death, nothing else. It certainly didn’t have anything to do with how they’d been having sex since then, that was just recreating. It had never meant anything to Andrew before and it didn’t now.

Andrew wasn’t of particular use aboard Thea’s ship. He knew more about tech work than he had as a soldier, thanks to his hands-on approach with Exy and spending so much time around Kevin and Neil, but the Acquaran technology was still beyond him. He and Nicky were there to fetch tools and supplies for the others. He’d only agreed to help in order to keep an eye on Kevin, although it seemed he didn’t need to. Thea had both her eyes on him.

A small alarm suddenly chimed. Andrew perked up in interest. Everything had been going pretty well since they’d exited the wormhole. It was about time that something disastrous happened.

“Wymack,” said Thea, checking her instruments, “are you getting up these readings?” She spouted off coordinates.

“Exy’s sensors are picking up debris at that location,” Wymack answered.

“Debris doesn’t move like that,” said Thea. “Here, look.” She pulled up an image on the viewscreen. There was a cloud of what looked like normal space dust but Andrew agreed that it was behaving unnaturally. Almost as if it were moving with direction and purpose. It darted from side to side, getting closer to Exy every time it did.

“Wymack, take evasive manoeuvres,” Andrew suggested. He didn’t like the look of the dust.

Wymack acquiesced but even as Exy moved, the debris changed course and moved with her.

“Maybe it’s harmless?” suggested Thea tentatively.

“You haven’t been around us long enough,” said Nicky with a dry laugh. “Most things want to harm us.”

The debris surrounded Exy, enveloping her completely.

“Wymack?” asked Thea, but static was the only answer.

Andrew closed his eyes and sighed. Another solar, another problem. “I’ll take my Prowler out, see if I can get a better idea of what we’re dealing with.”

* * *

The last time they’d been hit by something and lost internal communications, another ship had skewered Exy. Neil really hoped that whatever caused their current predicament wasn’t nearly as serious this time. They still hadn’t finished their repairs from the last incident.

He’d been working with Dan and M’Att to fix the damage from the last collision. He was in the ducts, being the only one other than Seth who could easily fit in them. Technically one of the Minyards could probably shove his way in but they were too bulky and not flexible enough to be useful once they did.

“Neil!” shouted M’Att from the corridor beneath the duct. Neil could see his worried eyes peering up at him. “Are you okay?”

Neil shook himself; he’d gotten a little rattled but he wasn’t hurt. “I’m fine. I think this has been our shortest time between disasters yet. What happened?”

“Not sure,” said M’Att. “Dan went up to command to try to fix the comms.”

His words were followed by feedback which made Neil clutch his head in agony.

“Sorry about that,” said Dan’s voice. “But internal comms are back up, yay! External comms are still patchy.”

“What’s happened?” asked Allison crossly.

“I’m not sure,” said Wymack slowly. “Exy and I were tracking some debris which hit us and completely covered all of Exy’s external sensors. We’re flying blind.”

“I can’t see any stars out the viewport,” said Dan.

“Did we get caught by pirates again?” asked Neil, remembering when he and Andrew had been stranded in a transport pod. That had been the first time that Andrew had kissed him. He couldn’t help but smile at the memory. However, the rest of that experience had not been fun and he wasn’t keen to repeat it.

“I don’t think so,” said Wymack. “This is something new.”

“What fun adventures we have,” grumbled Seth from wherever he was, probably being useless.

“I have an incoming message from Officer Minyard,” said Wymack, before Andrew’s garbled voice came over the comms.

“—read me?”

“Now we can,” said Dan. “Can you see what’s hit us?”

“Exy is completely covered in what looks to be some kind of plant-like organism,” reported Andrew.

“A plant?” repeated Renee, sounding interested. “What type of plant?”

“One that appears plant-like,” replied Andrew.

“That isn’t helpful,” said Allison.

“Did you mistake me for a botanist?” asked Andrew.

“Quiet,” commanded Dan. “Can someone get a sample for analysis?”

“I’m pretty close to the outer hull,” said Neil. “I can climb up and see if anything’s penetrated Exy’s skin.”

“Carefully,” added M’Att.

“I’m always careful,” said Neil. He didn’t think his comment should have generated as many disbelieving snorts as it did.

He pulled himself along the duct until he reached an upper exit hatch.

“Wymack, are your internal sensors working?” he asked. “Can you tell if there’s atmosphere beyond the F10 hatch?”

“I… think so,” said Wymack hesitantly.

“Seems safe,” muttered Neil. He gingerly opened the hatch, really hoping that the plant hadn’t broken the seal of Exy’s skin and exposed this area of the ship to vacuum. Luckily, the air was breathable; however, the entire area was filled with long, hanging tendrils that shouldn’t be there.

“Yeah, everyone, the plant’s in the ship,” he reported. “It’s bluish with some bits of red and it’s ow—” he pulled his hand back from where he’d reached out to touch the plant “—spiky.” He sucked his bleeding finger into his mouth. “Ew, and sticky,” he said, carefully breaking off one of the tendrils which was covered in a sap-like substance. “I’ve got a sample.” The tendrils started moving wildly, reaching out for him. He dropped back into the duct. “I don’t think it liked me doing that.”

“It’s a plant,” said Dan. “It doesn’t have desires.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” said Renee. “I’m a plant and I have a great many desires.”

“Right,” said Dan sheepishly. “Sorry, Renee.”

* * *

“What have we got?” asked Dan, entering the science lab where Renee, Allison, and Aaron were all running tests on the plant while Neil looked on.

“Not sure,” said Renee. “We’re getting some weird results.”

“Shocking. What kind of weird results?”

“We figured out it secretes an acid that dissolves metal, which it then consumes,” said Allison.

“Which makes sense,” Aaron said.

“ _But_ ,” continued Allison, “the genetic analysis is showing that it has markers in common with Nebari.”

“Which does not.” Aaron rolled his eyes.

“Also, there’s something else we can’t identify in the sap,” said Renee.

“Is anyone else frelling hot?” asked Neil irritably. He felt like he was boiling. He’d been far too warm ever since he’d brought the plant for analysis and being told that the plant was apparently his long-lost cousin was not improving his mood.

“Yes,” said Aaron. His hair was damp at his temples.

Dan gave him a considering look and then headed to the console by the door. “Optimum plus six,” she said. “No wonder Aaron’s feeling the heat but this shouldn’t bother you, Neil.”

“Well it is,” he groused.

“Hmm,” said Renee. “You said you cut yourself when you collected the sample?”

“I just pricked my finger,” said Neil. “It’s no big deal. I’m fine.”

“Still, we should test you for toxins that make you more susceptible to the heat. Maybe that’s what’s in the sap?”

“It’s already gone up to optimum plus seven,” said Dan.

“We have to fix the temperature,” said Aaron.

“We have to figure out how to get rid of the plant or it’s going to eat all the metal on Exy,” countered Dan.

“Since it’s in the ship, the plant is probably blocking Exy’s exhaust ducts,” said Allison. “Getting rid of the plant should also fix the problem with the heat.”

“Is there anything we can do to slow down the heat increase?” asked Aaron. “I’ll get heat delirium if it keeps rising at this pace.”

“Wymack?” asked Dan.

“Manually closing the vents on each tier will help stabilize the heat,” said Wymack. “But I must request that we prioritize getting the plant off Exy’s skin; without her external sensors I won’t be able to detect a hull breach.”

“Great,” said Dan. “Ideas, anyone?”

“Andrew’s out there,” said Neil. “He loves shooting things.”

“There aren’t words to describe how much he likes shooting things,” agreed Aaron.

“Andrew,” said Dan, through a grin. “Is there any way you can shoot the plant off of Exy without damaging her?”

There was a pause. “My sensors aren’t good enough to make the distinction,” he said. “Let me ask the tech.”

“She has a name,” grumbled Aaron, wiping his brow.

As they waited for Andrew to get back to them, Aaron came over to take a sample of Neil’s blood. He glared at as he did it, seemingly as unhappy as Neil about the whole process. Dan messaged M’Att and Jean and Seth to tell them to start manually closing the vents.

“Katelyn thinks she can patch Thea’s sensors to my Prowler,” reported Andrew. “It should take about an arn before I can kill the thing.”

“Okay, good,” said Dan. “In the meantime, Allison can you find some kind of substance that will kill the plant that we can apply from in here?”

“I can try,” said Allison.

“I’ll help with the vents,” said Neil, jumping up. Having something to do might distract him from how hot he was.

He’d managed to close most of the vents along the second tier when the general comm channel sputtered to life.

“I told you!I told you he was nothing but trouble and would double cross us all one day!” shouted Seth, his voice strangely muffled. “I told you, but none of you would listen!”

“Calm down and tell us who you’re talking about,” said Dan sharply.

“That Nebari! He attacked me when he was brought on board and I warned you he’d do it again!”

Neil cocked his head in confusion. He was feeling irritable enough to attack Seth but he didn’t remember doing so and he didn’t have any gaps in his memory.

“Neil attacked you?” asked M’Att in disbelief.

“Uh, no, I didn’t,” Neil felt compelled to defend himself. “I’ve been closing the vents on tier two.”

“You knocked me off my thronesled and opened all the vents I’d closed on tier six, you liar!” shouted Seth. “You left me all sticky— I don’t even want to know what with— and you didn’t even tell me _why_ you were suddenly attacking!”

“That’s because _I wasn’t_.”

“Neil, what are you doing?” asked M’Att, something off in his tone.

“Closing vents on tier two, _like I said_ ,” huffed Neil in irritation.

“I’m on tier four. I think we have a problem,” said M’Att, his voice forcibly controlled.

“What kind of problem?” demanded Dan.

M’Att didn’t answer her. “Hey,” he called instead, “who are you and what are you doing? Step away from the vent.” Silence followed, before the comm relayed the sound of a scuffle, grunts, and M’Att swearing.

“M’Att, _what is going on_?” asked Dan, her words short and her breathing heavy as she presumably ran to where M’Att was. Neil also took off running to M’Att’s location.

“Ugh,” said M’Att. “That’s not normal.”

“Oh,” said Dan, sounding horrified.

“ _What_?” demanded Allison, completely impatiently. “Will one of you tell the rest of us what is going on?”

Neil rounded the corner and found Dan and M’Att staring down at what appeared to be a dead body. His dead body.

“What,” he said, glad that Andrew wasn’t on board. He’d probably be annoyed at Neil for managing to die again, despite that this wasn’t even him. He wasn’t sure exactly what it was. At first glance he assumed it was a bioloid, a mechanical copy that was commonly used by Scarrans, but why would they make one of him and how would it get here?

“ _Neil_ ,” said M’Att, turning and pulling Neil into a crushing hug.

“Wait, how do you know that’s the real Neil?” said Dan suspiciously.

“He said something,” said M’Att. “This one was completely silent. And, well…” he pointed at the dead Neil. In its fight with M’Att, its arm had been pulled off. Inside, instead of blood and bones it was filled with blue and red tendrils. Sap oozed out of the wound.

“Huh,” said Neil. “Maybe that’s why the plant had Nebari DNA?”

* * *

They dragged the fake Neil back to the medical bay, Dan and M’Att being careful not to touch the trailing plant tendrils or getting any sap on them.

“Well, that’s creepy,” said Allison when they arrived.

“Yes it is,” agreed Dan. She gestured at the replica. “How?”

“An excellent question,” said M’Att. “I also propose: why?”

“You said the the replica Neil was working against us?” said Renee. “Opening the vents that Seth and M’Att closed? I’d guess that’s why; maybe the plant likes heat?”

“It was in _space_ before,” griped Aaron. “Space is cold.”

“Maybe it needs a high temperature for reproduction or something, I don’t know,” said Renee. “As for how, we do know that it had a sample of Neil’s DNA from when it cut him. Oh,” she continued, turning to Neil, “and there’s some kind of engineered virus in the sap, that’s why the heat’s bothering you so much.”

“Virus?” asked Neil, feeling slightly hysterical. He had the _worst_ luck.

“It’s making you a little more susceptible to the heat than usual,” said Renee. “It shouldn’t affect the rest of us too much but if any Sebaceans are exposed they’ll start suffering from heat delirium.”

“Hooray,” said Aaron sarcastically.

“Aaron, stay away from that plant,” said Dan sharply.

Aaron rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to tell me twice.”

Dan ignored him. “Wymack, what’s the temperature now?”

“Optimum plus fifteen,” replied Wymack. “You’ve managed to slow the rate of increase, but at the current rise in temperature Exy will become incapacitated by the heat in less than two arns. Medic Minyard will begin suffering from heat delirium much sooner.”

“Can you do anything to slow it down?” asked M’Att. “What if we open the docking doors? Our excess heat could vent into space.”

“I cannot open the docking hatches with the plant in its current location on Exy’s surface.”

Dan sighed. “Of course you can’t,” she said. She hit her communicator. “Andrew, you can shoot the plant _any_ time now,” said Dan.

“It’ll be another quarter arn,” said Andrew. “Stand by.”

“Easy for him to say,” muttered M’Att. “Now what?”

Dan shrugged helplessly. “Keep manually closing the vents? Don’t touch the plant? Shoot any fake Neils you see?”

“Make sure the fake Neil is actually fake,” added Neil dryly. He was going to be very upset if one of his crewmates accidentally shot him.

Aaron snorted. He looked awful; his face was completely flushed and his eyes were bright and glassy. He’d shed layers so that he was only in an undershirt and his skin was slick with sweat. “I need to cool off,” he said crabbily, heading to the exit of the medical bay.

“You need to stay here,” corrected Dan.

“Those are your orders, your majesty?” Aaron said grumpily.

“You’ll be safer here where you can’t accidentally encounter our plant invader, especially since it can walk around,” said Dan, with admirable patience.

Aaron looked over at the fake Neil and shuddered. “I can’t believe there are more of you. Just what we need.”

“I’m not happy about it either,” said Neil testily.

“Stop it, you two,” said Dan impatiently. “I know you’re hot and crabby but try to keep the bickering to a minimum.” She turned to Aaron. “As soon as Andrew blasts the plant off of Exy we’ll be able to open the docking doors to cool Exy down. Then we’ll put you in a transport pod and get you off the ship.”

Aaron was visibly taken aback. “That’s kind of you,” he said warily, as if it were some kind of trap.

“We may not have wanted you but we’re stuck with you now,” said Dan. “We’re not going to let you succumb to heat delirium if we prevent it.”

“ _We_ are not heartless like Peacekeepers,” said Allison pointedly.

Dan turned to Allison. “Even if Andrew successfully blasts the plant of the exterior of Exy, some of it’s inside,” she said. “Have you found anything to kill it yet?”

“Nope,” said Allison. “It’s immune to common poisons and plant growth inhibitors. I tried everything we had.”

“Which is why it smells like death in here,” said Renee darkly.

“Anyway, I have a few more ideas to test out, but maybe just try shooting it?” suggested Allison. “Most living things don’t like be hit with pulse blasts.”

Dan huffed. “Okay, we’ll try it. M’Att, Neil, let’s get back to— Seth?” she asked, spotting Seth as he lurched uncoordinatedly into the medical bay. He looked as if he were going to be ill. “What’s wrong? Did you come into contact with the plant?”

Neil remembered Seth’s words about how the plant-Neil had attacked him and left him sticky. “Look out!” he said, jumping up, but he was too late. Fake Seth opened his mouth and explosively vomited up what appeared to be the same sticky sap-like substance that had coated the tendrils directly at Aaron, hitting both M’Att and Dan as well.

Neil shot the replica, but the damage was already done.

“Well,” said Allison frankly, gaping at where Aaron was covered in a substance that contained a virus that would leave him brain dead in short order, “that’s not optimal.”

* * *

Andrew did not like anyone touching his Prowler but out of everyone on board he did trust Katelyn the most with it. She was a trained tech, after all. She should know how to modify it without wrecking it. Still, the thought of her mistakenly destroying the one thing he actually cared about from his old life left him antsy as she made quick adjustments to his sensor array.

“Alright,” she said. “That should work. You should be able to distinguish between the plant and Exy and only shoot what you want to. Theoretically. Maybe start with somewhere nonvital?”

Andrew gave her a flat look.

“Well, get shooting!” she said, grinning at him. Her grin faded slowly as she realized that they weren’t actually friends.

“I do love shooting things,” he said, offering an olive branch, before climbing in his Prowler.

He circled Exy a couple time taking scans before he took a shot. He wasn’t willing to mistakenly injure anyone on board, nor was he willing to harm Exy. Fortunately, Katelyn’s modifications to his sensors worked and his weapons fire was able to vaporize the plant without hurting Exy.

He spent the next half arn carefully getting rid of all the plant structures on Exy’s hull. Once that was finished, he flew down the docking tube that had opened once he’d cleared it. With the spotty communications, he hadn’t heard anything that was happening inside the ship, except for the few exchanges he’d had with Dan, and he wanted to check on both Neil and Aaron.

It was ridiculously hot inside the ship, the plant obviously having somehow disrupted the environmental controls; he felt as if he were melting. He removed his flight suit and stripped down as much as possible before leaving the maintenance bay.

“Wymack, where’s Neil?” he asked.

“...It’s difficult to say,” Wymack replied after a pause. “Officer Minyard, it might be best if you left the ship. The environment is not—”

“I noticed the heat,” said Andrew. “I’ll get Aaron and we’ll leave.”

There was another long pause. “That might prove difficult.”

Andrew waited for an explanation but none was forthcoming. A little curl of worry wound its way around his gut. _Something_ was clearly going on but he wasn’t sure what. He opened his mouth to ask further questions when Neil rounded the end of the corridor.

He was listing slightly to the side and his eyes were unfocused.

“Neil?” asked Andrew, not liking how he couldn’t mask the worry in his voice. “What’s going on?”

Neil turned to look at him. Andrew took an involuntary step back; Neil’s eyes were completely void of anything, blank and dead. Something was very wrong. Neil opened his mouth but before anything could happen the sound of a pulse pistol echoed through the corridor. Andrew shouted and pulled his own weapon up as Neil fell forward, revealing another Neil standing behind him with a smoking gun.

“Frell, Andrew, be careful,” the second Neil scolded. “Why are you on Exy anyway? It’s not safe for you.”

The standing Neil was sweaty and his grey skin had taken on a blue flush. The dead Neil on the floor was leaking some kind of clear fluid and had plant tendrils poking out of the wound from the pulse blast.

“What,” said Andrew, his words deliberate, “The frell. Is going on?” He was getting awfully tired of seeing Neil’s dead body.

“The plant can make replicas,” said Neil, herding Andrew away from the dead Neil. “The sap carries a virus that increases sensitivity to heat. It’s dangerous for Sebaceans. Get off the ship; we’re dealing with it.”

“I have to get Aaron.”

Neil rubbed the back of his neck, a fairly obvious nervous tell. “It’s too late for that,” he said. “He’s not dead,” he hastily added when Andrew’s steps faltered. “Or even suffering from heat delirium. But he also isn’t exactly conscious and can’t leave the ship.”

Andrew planted his feet to prevent Neil from ushering him to the maintenance bay. “Explain.”

“He’s infected with the virus, too,” said Neil.

“Too?” echoed Andrew.

“Well, so am I, obviously,” said Neil. “The plant infected me when it took my DNA to make replicas. According to Allison it shouldn’t affect me too much. The virus is specifically engineered to incapacitate Sebaceans.”

“Why wasn’t I told any of this?”

“What would have been the point? You were busy and couldn’t help anyway,” shrugged Neil. “Anyway, when Aaron was infected we knew that it wasn’t long before he started suffering from heat delirium. So we froze him.”

“You froze him?” repeated Andrew.

“We still have that cryostasis pod that those commandos brought on board,” said Neil. “Aaron is safe and secure until Allison can figure out how to neutralize the virus.”

Andrew put his hands on his hips. He still should have been told about what was going on with Aaron. He didn’t like the thought of leaving Aaron in cryostasis, but he did understand that it was the only thing that had halted Aaron’s descent into severe, irreversible brain damage.

“I don’t like—” he started to say.

“Look out!” shouted Neil, tackling him to the floor. They rolled and Neil popped back to his feet, shooting a Dan replica before it could spit any of the sap at Andrew.

“You have to get off the ship now,” said Neil. “It seems like they’re specifically targeting you.”

“Maybe they are,” said Andrew. “What is the likelihood that a malicious space plant that has an engineered virus to take out Sebaceans just happened to find us?”

“Peacekeepers, you mean?” said Neil, understanding at once. “Makes sense. We know they’re searching for us and we have evidence that they’ve tried to harness biological systems as weapons before. All the more reason you should get off the ship.”

“You’re coming with me.”

“Nah, I’ve got to help kill the plant,” said Neil. “Allison has an idea.”

Andrew didn’t want to leave him behind.

“Hey,” said Neil quietly. “Trust me.”

“I trust you with my life,” said Andrew, realizing as soon as he said it that he was speaking the truth. He checked to make sure they were alone and pulled Neil into a bruising kiss. “I’m not sure I trust you with yours.”

* * *

“I am a genius, just so you all know,” said Allison. “I expect to be pampered and rewarded once we’ve saved Exy.” She gave a pointed look to both Renee and Jean.

“Of course we will treat you as you deserve,” said Jean.

They’d all gathered in Wymack’s den to hear the plan to kill the plant.

“How about less self-adoration, more explanation?” asked Dan with an eye roll.

“Right,” said Allison. “When we were putting the grumpier Minyard in the deep freeze I noticed that the plant, although present in the cargo hold, was avoiding the vapour put off by the tank.”

“ _Is_ he the grumpier Minyard?” wondered M’Att. “You’d think not, since he’s the one who has sex regularly.”

Neil pointedly didn’t look in M’Att’s direction.

“Andrew’s less grumpy and more blank,” said Allison.

“Back on topic,” said Wymack.

“Anyway,” continued Allison, not skipping a beat, “I analyzed the different components of the vapour and I found that the plant reacts negatively to solanterum, especially when it’s in high enough quantities to be mildly radioactive.”

“Great,” said Dan. “Do we have solanterum?”

“It’s a toxin-absorbing regulator that’s in abundance in Exy’s air filtration system,” said Wymack.

“So all we have to do is release a large quantity of it into atmospheric control, let it diffuse through the ship, and ignite it!” said Allison proudly.

“Go back,” said Dan. “Ignite it?”

“In gaseous form it won’t kill the plant,” said Allison. “We need to activate its radioactivity. A small blast from the DRD pulse weapons should be enough.”

“I will send them to evenly space themselves out throughout Exy,” said Wymack. “Once the solanterum mist had diffused throughout Exy’s interior, I can command the DRDs to fire simultaneously to ignite it.”

“What about us? Won’t the radioactivity hurt us?” asked Seth.

“Or Exy?” added M’Att.

“Exy and I are quite immune to radiation,” said Wymack.

“Me, too,” said Neil. “Nebari skin reflects low level radiation.”

“Renee must be kept far away from the plant-killing radiation, though,” said Jean.

“All but a couple of us can go out in a transport pod,” said Dan. “Neil and someone else can go to atmospherics to spread the solanterum through the ship while the rest of us wait in safety.”

“I’ll stay,” offered M’Att immediately. “I can survive in vacuum without a suit; there’s no way that the radiation will be higher in here than out in space.”

“What about Aaron?” asked Neil, knowing that it mattered to Andrew.

“They built that cryostasis unit to hold an Intellant virus,” said Renee. “Nothing is going to hurt him while he’s in it.”

“I mean, unless a couple nosy, greedy drelks decide to open it up,” said Allison, giving Seth a pointed look.

“We _said_ we were sorry for that,” grumbled Seth.

“Did you?” said Dan. “Apologize? _You_?”

“It was implied.”

“I think I got punished enough, given that opening the crate kickstarted a series of events that led directly to me being tortured,” said Neil.

“Plus you got me out of the bargain,” said Jean. “All’s well that ends well.”

* * *

“We probably should have expected this,” said Neil, stabbing another oncoming M’Att replica. The fake plant versions of them were putting a lot of effort into trying to stop what M’Att and Neil were doing. Neil had jammed a metal pole into the intake fan in atmospherics control while M’Att held a pipe spewing solanterum into the outtake fan. That way the radioactive mist would spread throughout Exy without being pulled back into atmospheric control and scrubbed clean. Everything had been going according to plan before about twenty replicas had shown up to stop them.

“If they’re here, they’re probably also in Wymack’s den,” grunted M’Att. He was using his qualta weapon as a sword instead of a gun, not wanting to ignite the vapour by accident.

“They could stop him from giving the signal to the DRDs,” said Neil.

“I can hold them off here, Neil,” said M’Att.

“Are you sure?”

“Go!”

Neil dispatched another two of the replicas as he ran out of the atmospherics room, sprinting at full speed. He felt like laughing wildly, despite their current danger. He’d lived on ships for so long; shoved into cargo holds and hidden in vents when he travelled with his mother, more of the same when he’d been alone after her death. And now, he’d been on Exy for almost three quarters of a cycle. It had been cycles since he’d been able to run flat out. Even though he was running into danger as opposed to away from it (which was a change, one his mother would never forgive him for) he still felt wild and exhilarated and free.

M’Att was right; the replicas were swarming Wymack. He was batting them off with his claws quite efficiently. He’d skewered a large number of them, throwing their remains into the dark pit below his den. Neil unsheathed his knife (it was foolish, perhaps, to carry a knife when everyone else had pulse pistols, but it was a weapon he was intimately familiar with and had saved him more than once) and leapt into the fray.

He didn’t have any training, not like Andrew, as the Nebari didn’t have a military or engage in physical altercations. Instead he had what he’d learned on the run: scrapping, really. Fighting dirty so that he couldn’t be pinned: fingers to the eyes, fists to vulnerable internal organs, knees to the genitals. None of those tactics worked against the replicas. Instead he slashed and kicked and used some of the moves that Andrew had taught him the few times Neil had happened upon him in the training room.

“I’m reading optimal dispersion of the solanterum,” said Dan over comms.

“Little busy right now, Dan,” panted Neil, ducking a punch from a lumbering Aaron replica and pushing it away from him.

There was a pause. “Why do you sound like you’re fighting?” asked Andrew suspiciously.

“M’Att and I are having it out,” snapped Neil. “Lovers’ spat, you know. It’s not at all that the replicas object to us trying to kill them.”

“Are you hurt?” Andrew asked instantly.

“Not yet,” said Neil. He jumped onto the back of one of the M’Atts, scrambling up until he was stood on its shoulders. Using the extra height, he launched himself over the replicas swarming Wymack’s console.

“What’s the sequence?” he shouted, stabbing out at everything that wasn’t him or Wymack.

“Left console,” said Wymack, gasping with exertion. “Seven, two, one, one, three, six, seven.”

Neil punching in the code to command all the DRDs to fire and waited.

And waited.

“Are you sure that was—” The air around them lit up, turning a white so blinding that Neil could still see it when his eyes were closed. He blinked cautiously once it faded, worried about the possibility of being blinded, but the only damage was a brief after-image. The attacking replicas were gone, leaving behind piles of what appeared to be decomposing vegetation. Neil wrinkled his nose in disgust. The DRDs had a lot of cleanup work to do.

“That did it,” said Wymack. “All the sensors are clear and the blockages are gone. I’m venting the excess heat into space now.”

“Good,” said Dan. “Still alive, M’Att, Neil?”

“Still alive,” said Neil wearily.

“So alive!” added M’Att. “All irradiated and ready for anything!”

Dan laughed. “Alright, we’re on our way back. We’ll have to do a damage assessment and figure out what the hezmana we’re going to do about Aaron.”

“Um,” came Katelyn’s tentative voice over the comms. “What do you mean, ‘what we’re going to do about Aaron’?”


	14. Chapter 14

“So,” said Allison, addressing the rest of them and clearly enjoying being the centre of attention. “I’ve determined that the virus affecting Aaron is definitely an engineered virus, specifically one that attacks Sebaceans. Although it was able to initially infect the rest of us, our immune systems eventually killed it off. His won’t be able to.”

“Meaning?” asked Katelyn tightly.

“Meaning that even if we thaw him out, he’s still infected and will begin suffering from heat delirium even at optimum temperatures,” concluded Allison.

“Isn’t there anything you can do?” Katelyn implored.

Andrew was attempting to appear completely unaffected, but he couldn’t help how his hands kept tightening into fists as Allison spoke. The worst part was that he was fairly certain this was just an opening salvo from the Peacekeepers who hunted them. This was a shot in the dark; genetic hunters would be next.

“I don’t know enough about viruses or Sebacean biology or medicine,” shrugged Allison. “Ironically, the person who could most be of use is Aaron himself.”

“So, what? Our plan is to leave him frozen forever?” demanded Katelyn.

“We could throw him out the airlock,” suggested Seth idly. “Rid ourselves of the burden.”

“Yes, thank you for your input, Seth,” said Dan quickly, before Katelyn could drop kick the Hynerian. “Anyone else have any ideas?”

The silence that followed was heavy. Andrew understood. These people weren’t sure if they wanted to put any effort forth to save Aaron; he certainly hadn’t spent his time trying to endear himself to any of them. It was surprising enough that they’d agreed to save Andrew when he’d been injured and Aaron was even less engaged with the rest of them. Only Katelyn (and Andrew) cared about Aaron’s continued survival. Katelyn was popular enough that Andrew suspected the others would agree to help for her sake. Dan, M’Att, and Renee, at least, always tried to do what they thought was right.

“Proust,” said Jean in a quiet voice. Andrew started slightly, having forgotten the quiet man’s presence. That happened often when they were in the same room together. He knew that Jean had helped Neil while they were in captivity together but he couldn’t make himself remember his continued existence.

“Bless you?” said Kevin, nonsensically.

“No, he’s a… doctor, of sorts. A researcher. He is the one who designed Ichirou’s coolant suit.”

“We can’t expect a Peacekeeper to help us—” said M’Att.

“He’s not a Peacekeeper,” interrupted Jean. “He’s not Sebacean so they don’t want him. He’s a free agent. One of his… test subjects was sent to Ichirou for questioning. I helped him pass over when he died, which allowed me to share his memories. Proust is terrible, a mercenary. But he is very intelligent and has had a hand in many breakthroughs for many different species. He’s worked on mind control for the Nebari, and bioloid production for the Scarrans, and heat resistance for the Peacekeepers. He may be able to help Aaron… for the right price.”

“We are not overly flush with credits,” said Dan. “I don’t know if we can afford his services.”

“We could have something else he wants,” said Katelyn. “We should at least contact him.”

“I doubt his price will be something anyone is willing to pay,” said Jean.

“We’ll see,” said Andrew, speaking up for the first time. “Do you know how to contact him?”

“I know his research facility is secret and well hidden,” said Jean. “But I also know how Ichirou used to send him coded messages whenever he needed maintenance for his suit.”

“Set up a meeting,” said Dan. “It can’t hurt to ask.”

“You’d be surprised what can hurt,” said Neil ominously.

* * *

Kevin was in the maintenance bay, checking over his module, when he heard loud banging and swearing from inside the docked Marauder. He hadn’t known that anyone else was around; it was in the middle of Exy’s ‘night’. Even Neil and Andrew, neither of whom slept a lot, weren’t around. Although that may have something to do with the fact that they now slept together. Kevin wasn’t particularly surprised; he’d spent enough time with them to suspect they’d get together, especially after what had happened on fake Earth.

He personally hadn’t gotten much sleep ever since he’d seen the imposter versions of his mother and of Earth. Thea helped a little, but he still saw images of humans doing terrible things to his friends and his friends doing terrible things to humans whenever he closed his eyes.

“Katelyn?” he called, approaching the Marauder’s exit ramp and knocking on its hull as he entered the ship. “Is that you?”

More swearing met his enquiry, so he slowly made his way into the ship. The Marauder was comparatively quite large; he found Katelyn on the lowest tier, sitting among what looked like an exploded panel, clearly having taken it apart for some reason. Her long, auburn hair, was messier than he’d ever seen it, and stuck to her head with sweat. She sagged unhappily, dark circles underneath her eyes.

“Katelyn,” he said again, much quieter. He wished that Dan or Renee was here. They were much better at empathy. “Why aren’t you asleep?”

“I wasn’t born a Peacekeeper, you know,” she said, not answering his question. “I didn’t even volunteer. But my technical aptitude brought me to their attention and you can’t say no to being recruited.” She shuddered. “I never asked for this life.”

“None of us asked for what’s happened,” said Kevin, carefully sitting down next to her, making sure he didn’t disturb the tiny pieces of console that were strewn everywhere.

“I know,” she said. “I’m being selfish.”

“It would be hypocritical of me to judge you for that.”

“I didn’t know you had such self-awareness,” she teased, knocking her shoulder into his.

“Well, if you get called something enough times you eventually start to believe it.”

She smiled faintly. It faded as she looked down at her hands. “I met Aaron during my first posting,” she said. “He was… not very friendly.”

“I’m not surprised.”

“To be fair, soldiers are never friendly to techs. Mostly they act as if we’re invisible or in the way. As long as their equipment works properly they don’t even see us.” She turned her hand over, examining the permanent grease stains under her fingernails. “Aaron at least saw me.”

Her eyes were far away. Kevin watched silently, afraid that if he said anything he’d ruin everything. This was not something he was good at.

“It was just supposed to be normal recreation when we started having sex, nothing out of the ordinary. By the time I realized that I had feelings I was already too deep. Aaron tried to fight it at first, like the good little soldier he was, but you can’t fight your own nature.”

“His nature? Wasn’t he bred to be a perfect soldier?”

Katelyn replied to his question with one of her own, “What makes a good soldier?”

“Obedience,” said Kevin. “Which is not something I associate with either of the Minyards I know.”

“They were bred to be perfect Peacekeepers,” said Katelyn. “They were cloned from a highly respected Admiral and then genetically modified so his most desirable traits were amplified. Intelligence, problem solving, quick thinking, rationality, loyalty. They were meant to be competent and emotionless and completely devoted to the Peacekeepers.”

“What went wrong?”

“Nothing,” shrugged Katelyn. “What they wanted were robots and what they got were people. People are emotional.”

“Neither Andrew nor Aaron strike me as particularly emotional.”

“Then you’re not paying attention,” she chided. “Sure, their nature and childhoods mean that they’re emotionally stunted, but when they do feel emotions, they feel them strongly. Loyalty, devotion, love… it is overwhelming to be loved by a Minyard.” She fell silent again, staring at the components that surrounded her. “I guess I could compare notes with Neil.”

“You think Andrew’s in love with Neil?” asked Kevin. He knew that the two of them had some kind of strange, intense connection but he wouldn’t have called it love.

“I think he’ll deny it until he’s bluer in the face than Renee,” said Katelyn. “He’ll figure it out eventually.”

“You don’t seem disturbed,” Kevin pointed out. “Most Sebaceans we’ve come across can’t help but grimace when talking about relationships between Sebaceans and aliens.”

“It’s true, my instinctive reaction is one of disgust,” she said. “But I learned that from Peacekeepers. I already know they’re wrong about so many things, who’s to say they’re right about this?”

She fell silent again. Kevin cast around for something comforting to say.

“We’ll figure out how to get Aaron well again,” he settled on, wishing he wasn’t always so awkward.

“I know,” she said. “Andrew won’t give up until we do.”

Kevin furrowed his brow in confusion. “I thought he hated Aaron. You’re the one who said he got him demoted.”

“He did,” she conceded. “I was bitter and angry but I should have guessed there was a reason for it. I understand Aaron so I should have understood Andrew. I thought at first that he was angry or jealous but that doesn’t add up with what I know about him.”

“What actually happened?”

“There are different ranks and roles for a Peacekeeper soldier and they each have different levels of prestige. People who make it high up into command positions almost always come from the navy, for instance. Medics and other support roles are basically the lowest in status, barely above techs. Aaron applied for a transfer to serve on Commander Moriyama’s ship as a stepping stone to pilot training, the same path that Andrew took. When he did so, Andrew reported our relationship. Aaron got shuffled into medic training as a punishment and I got sent out to the Gammak base in the Uncharted Territories. We thought at the time that Andrew was just being petty.”

“You don’t think that anymore?”

“I know Andrew better now and I can tell he’s just like Aaron: so fiercely devoted to his chosen few that he’d destroy the universe to keep them safe,” she said. “And although they’re the worst at communication the two of them would do anything for each other. There must have been some reason that Andrew didn’t want Aaron on Moriyama’s ship. In retrospect it even makes sense, given that we now know Moriyama is even more megalomaniacal than the garden variety Peacekeeper captain.”

Kevin smiled ruefully. “I’m so lucky to have caught his attention.”

“Andrew will protect you,” she said. Her simple, complete belief in this fact was evident.

Kevin hummed thoughtfully and looked around. “How are repairs going?”

“They’re almost done,” she said. “I’ve integrated a lot of Leviathan technology, trying to get the best of both worlds. It’ll be ready in a couple solars.”

“That soon?” he asked, surprised. “Then what?”

“Well, the initial plan was that Aaron and I would leave, since we weren’t particularly welcome, and find somewhere to settle and live our lives.” She breathed in deeply. “But now Exy feels like home and Aaron is possibly dying and I don’t know what’s going to happen and there’s nothing I can do to help.” Her voice wavered slightly. “So I just keep taking things apart and putting them back together and hoping that everything will turn out okay.”

“I’ll help,” said Kevin, picking up a couple components from in front of him. She leaned against him gratefully and the two of them spent the next few arns working together in silence.

* * *

Jean’s knowledge had paid off. Proust responded to his message, agreeing to meet them in a neutral location. For payment, they scrounged up most of their remaining credits as well as several valuable items that they had either scavenged or previously purchased. Thea also volunteered blueprints to several pieces of her own technology that was more advanced than anything else in this region of space, making them almost priceless. Andrew hoped it was enough.

He wasn’t entirely sure why everyone had agreed to save Aaron and to use their meagre resources to do so, but he thought that he was beginning to understand. They’d started off as reluctant and unwanted companions but their time had inevitably bound them together. Thea hadn’t been with them long but they’d already undergone several stressful situations together. He felt more kinship with her than he would have expected following their time imprisoned on fake Earth.

Dan didn’t want to take Exy to the rendezvous point in case it was an elaborate trap. Instead, Thea was taking Aaron there on her ship which could phase out of normal space time if attacked. Andrew and Katelyn were going along, since no one was about to tell them they couldn’t, as was Jean who was the first point of contact with Proust. Dan and M’Att were accompanying them for extra security.

Neil wanted to come, too.

“No,” said Andrew, packing a bag of supplies in his quarters before departing. Neil, perched on his bed, gave him a reproachful look. “I can’t focus on Aaron if I have to keep an eye on you.”

“You don’t have to keep an eye on me,” said Neil. “I want to have your back, the way you always have mine.”

“Watch Kevin’s back instead,” suggested Andrew. “I need to know that the two of you are safe. If this is a trap, I don’t want you anywhere near it.”

“And what happens if Exy is attacked while you’re away?” asked Neil.

“Exy won’t be attacked.”

“You sound awfully confident about that,” said Neil. “Considering how many strange things we’ve run into in our time out here, I would think you’d know better.”

Andrew sighed and pulled Neil off his bed. “Exy is not going to be attacked,” he said, with confidence that he didn’t feel.

“How about we make a bet?” said Neil. “You owe me if she is. And you owe me double if she’s attacked and I’m the hero who saves the day.”

“What will I owe you?”

“What will you give me?”

“Don’t ask stupid questions,” said Andrew, and kissed Neil to drown out his response. “What if I win?” he asked.

Neil looked a little dazed. He blinked several times to clear his head. Andrew liked that he could elicit that response from Neil just by kissing him. It made him feel powerful.

“Anything you want,” said Neil.

“Anything?” asked Andrew, feeling breathless.

“Anything,” confirmed Neil. “Now go and save your brother. I’ll be right here waiting for you to come back.”

* * *

Kevin was looking for something to do. It had been about two solars since the others had left on Thea’s ship to go meet Proust, and there were still at least two or three solars until they returned. He’d already been over his module six or seven times, fiddled enough with Exy’s systems that Wymack had forbidden him from touching them again, and tried to get into the Marauder but Katelyn had locked it up tight. He and Neil had spent time together; however, Neil was now nowhere to be found, which was probably for the best since uninterrupted time together always led to bickering. Kevin had also irritated both Nicky and Allison enough that they’d banned him from their quarters and watched Renee as she replenished their stockpile of explosives, asking her so many questions that even she, with her seemingly infinite patience, had sent him away.

He planted himself in command, using the instruments to take readings for wormholes, even though he knew now that he could never go home. His chest throbbed as he remembered the fake version of his mother, so close to the real thing yet still so far. He shook his head. In order to keep his mind off of things he didn’t want to think about he either needed to be busy or to drink himself into a stupor. There wasn’t any alcohol on Exy, so keeping busy it was.

Wymack seemed to be indulging him, letting him get away with using Exy’s sensors to scan the most frivolous things and patiently explaining why all of Kevin’s ideas were terrible. Maybe he should go down to Wymack’s den and get him to explain how his numerous panels worked? When he voiced that thought, Wymack seemed strangely reluctant.

“Wait, there’s a transmission on comms,” he said instead, sounding suspiciously relieved.

“From Thea’s ship?” asked Kevin.

“No…” said Wymack slowly. “It’s not specifically directed at us. It’s a broad range communication from what appears to be a trading vessel. They are advertising their wares and broadcasting to find potential buyers, I believe.”

“Hmm,” said Kevin. They’d run into several trading vessels before. Some they’d ignored, some they’d contacted and had managed to procure useful supplies. “Anything interesting?”

“Mostly the usual. Food, fuel, star charts, weapons, other—”

“Wait, star charts?” said Kevin. “What kind of star charts?”

“The message doesn’t specify.”

“But they could be useful, correct?”

There was a pause. “There is a chance they could be, yes.”

“Then we should check it out.”

“I really don’t think that we should engage with strangers while most of the crew is away…” said Wymack doubtfully.

“We’ll vote,” said Kevin. “Call everyone to command.”

Five hundred microts later almost everyone had gathered. Allison breezed in haughtily.

“This had better not be a waste of time,” she said. Her tone was light but her eyes narrowed at Kevin menacingly.

“Where’s Neil?” asked Kevin.

“Didn’t he go with the others?” said Nicky. “I thought he went with the others.”

“No, I saw him earlier,” said Kevin. “Wymack?”

“He’s disabled his comms and his location is not known to the DRDs,” said Wymack.

“One of these solars he’s going to die while he’s hiding and we’ll only find him by following the smell,” sneered Seth. “Personally, I anticipate it greatly.”

“You’re so charming,” said Nicky.

“I also look forward to your death,” replied Seth, barely looking at Nicky. His attention was on Kevin. “Stop wasting our time. Why have you made us gather here?”

“Were you very busy?” drawled Nicky. “Ruminating on how you’re so arrogant that your cousin was able to steal your throne easily?”

“What’s happened, Kevin?” cut in Renee, neatly cutting off Seth’s reply.

“There’s a trading vessel,” said Kevin. “They may have star charts.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” demanded Seth. “Bring them on board and let us see what they have.”

“We still have a few credits and other salvage to trade,” said Nicky.

“Wymack wants us to vote before we let them aboard,” said Kevin. “Anyone against it?”

“I am,” said Renee. “With Andrew, M’Att, and Dan away, we’re short on intimidation. I’m not sure we should be treating with strangers.”

“I’m plenty intimidating,” said Allison. “Besides, majority rules. Sorry, love.” Kevin stared at her. Allison coloured slightly. “I mean… no,” she said, straightening. “I meant what I said. I love Renee and I call her pet names. I’m not ashamed of it. I’m sweet.”

“Sure you are,” said Nicky. “That’s the number one word I think of when I think of you. Sweet.”

“Oh, shut up,” muttered Allison.

* * *

The traders’ ship was small, smaller even than the Marauder, easily fitting into their docking bay. Allison and Seth took charge of negotiations with the head trader, while several of his crewmates looked around the maintenance bay with interest. Kevin was starting to feel slightly uneasy about letting these people on board now that he saw that they outnumbered him and his friends. Out of all of them, only Renee was useful in a fight; Kevin knew how to use his pulse pistol, but he didn’t particularly like shooting people.

From what Kevin could hear, the star charts that the traders were offering weren’t exactly what they were looking for, but could still prove useful. Seth, for all his faults, was actually a fairly good negotiator, obviously having acquired _some_ skills as the former ruler of an empire. Kevin suspected that his innate selfishness was actually helpful in this situation.

“So we’re agreed?” said Seth. “The star charts in exchange for the Trivellian gems?”

One of his companions came over and whispered something in the lead trader’s ear.

“Hmmm,” he said, turning to Seth. “I think not.”

“Why not? I thought we were in accordance?”

“My associate had brought to my attention that there are ways to get far more money that what you’re offering. Turning over this Leviathan to the Peacekeepers for one.” Kevin tightened his grip on his pulse pistol but he didn’t move, watching Renee for cues.

“Whoa,” said Allison, raising her hands. “We have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t play stupid, princess,” sneered the trader. “This Leviathan and her occupants can fetch a substantial bounty.”

“Not us,” said Seth. “We’re not the ones they’re looking for. They won’t pay for us.”

“We’ll see,” said the man shortly, giving a signal to his companions. They all brought their weapons up. Renee attacked first, taking out the two closest to her in short order. Kevin dove behind cover and began trading shots with another two of the traders. Allison punched the lead trader in the throat and then screamed; the high pitched noise started melting the metal in her vicinity. The lead trader pistol whipped her to shut her up and she slumped to the floor.

Renee froze momentarily when she saw Allison go down, which was all the time the lead trader needed. He hoisted Allison’s dead weight into his arms and pressed his pistol against her temple.

“Lay down your weapons and cooperate,” he said, “or the princess gets it.”

Renee’s expression was half-fury and half-desperation but she stopped fighting and let one of the traders cuff her. With no other options, Kevin followed suit.

“So,” said Nicky dryly, as he was also grabbed and restrained, “this wasn’t one of our _best_ ideas.”

* * *

Proust’s ship was already waiting for them at the agreed upon rendezvous point. Jean went aboard to act as their spokesman; Andrew and M’Att went with him as backup.

Andrew could see right away why Proust had not been recruited to the Peacekeepers on a more permanent basis. It was common for Peacekeeper to have non-regulation servants from among alien species and, less commonly, they recruited particularly intelligent or useful aliens into their ranks. These aliens were usually Sebaceanoid and not overly exotic. Proust would have never been accepted.

He was a Saltici, a species Andrew had only come across in training classes where young Peacekeeper soldiers were introduced to the natural defenses of other species. It had been there that he’d learned about the adaptive sedative that Luxans stored in their whip-like tongues, about the mystical powers of Delvian Pa’us, about the metal-melting screams of Interions. Saltici were insectoid, with hard blue-green exoskeletons and poisonous spines on their heads.

Proust seemed excited to see them, inciting Andrew’s suspicions.

“Did you bring the blood I asked for?” he asked eagerly. He’d asked for a sample of Aaron’s blood, complete with the engineered virus. Jean nodded hesitantly, clearly also taken aback by Proust’s attitude. “I love mysteries,” continued Proust in a confidential voice, seemingly oblivious to their unease. “Honestly, I dropped the price just because I wanted to see this virus.”

“About the price…” said Jean.

Proust waved him off. “Let’s not worry about it until we know if I can do what I think I can.” He hummed to himself as he took the blood and retreated to his workbench. He ran the blood through some kind of analyzer and put a couple drops of it under a microscope.

“Is the patient a clone?” he said after a while, glancing at the output from the analyzer. “How fascinating!”

“Does that matter?” asked Andrew, his hackles rising.

“No, no, of course not,” said Proust, his head spines extending slightly in response to Andrew’s aggression.

Andrew let it go, watching as Proust continued fiddling with his instruments.

“Interesting,” said Proust.

Andrew had a large amount of patience but it was rapidly dwindling with Aaron’s life on the line. “Well? Can you cure him?”

“Let’s see, let’s see,” muttered Proust. “Here,” he said, pulling up the microscope view on a nearby screen. “The green particles are the virus. If I’m correct— and not to be self-aggrandizing, but I am often correct— they should be destroyed by the addition of this anti-viral I’ve just created.” He pulled a vial out of the analyzer and used a dropper to add a small amount of blue liquid to the microscope slide. On the screen, the green particles were disappearing as the blue liquid spread through the blood. “Excellent!” said Proust, clapping his hands. “Excellent, excellent!”

Andrew breathed out in relief, but he didn’t let himself relax entirely. “And the price?”

Proust wasn’t phased. He pointed at Jean and M’Att. “You two, go get my patient from your ship,” he ordered. Turning to Andrew, he continued, “And you, follow me to negotiate the payment. I’m sure we can work something out.”

Andrew nodded to Jean and M’Att and followed Proust back into a connected room. Proust ushered him into a chair. Andrew sat uneasily, not liking how exposed he felt alone with Proust.

He swallowed his discomfort and opened the negotiation. “We offer blueprints of unique technology,” he said.

“What unique technology?”

“You’ve scanned the ship we arrived in,” said Andrew. “I’m sure you’re interested.”

Proust tilted his head to the side. “I am,” he admitted. “But that’s not quite enough.”

“We also offer a corvidium crystal from the control nexus of a Leviathan,” he said.

“Rare,” murmured Proust.

“So we’re in agreement?” asked Andrew.

“Yes, yes, those are both good offers,” said Proust, dismissively, “but I require one more thing before I agree to cure your brother.”

Andrew was instantly on alert. He hadn’t mentioned that Aaron was his brother. “What do you want?” he said flatly.

“Just something small,” said Proust, smiling as if he’d told a joke.

“Stop playing games,” said Andrew impatiently.

Proust only continued to smile, his pointed teeth unnerving.

* * *

Neil was napping. He’d never been able to sleep easily, too tense to ever fully relax, but the last few solars with Andrew away were even worse than usual. He was getting soft, used to having someone around who had his back, allowing him to let up on his constant vigilance for short periods.

He’d disabled his comms, climbed into the upper ducts, found an area where he couldn’t easily be found or cornered, and fallen into a restless sleep.

He was awoken by shouting, which wasn’t uncommon aboard Exy, and shooting, which was. There were also voices he didn’t recognize. He shook his head. He had been mostly joking when he’d made the bet with Andrew but honestly, if they didn’t have bad luck they’d have no luck at all. Of course they’d been boarded while he was sleeping.

Annoyed, he pulled himself to the ducts above command, peering down at the stranger who was barking orders at the others.

“Report!” he snapped.

“The prisoners were correct, they are the only ones on board,” said a subordinate. “Logs indicate that the rogue Peacekeepers are due back in a couple solars.”

“We will wait and ambush them when they come aboard,” declared the leader. “We will not signal Captain Moriyama until we have them all in custody. Has the pilot agreed to obey us?”

“He has not.”

“Tell him that if he continues to be disobedient, we will start executing the prisoners and making him watch.”

Well, thought Neil, this was less than ideal. He wondered how exactly these people had gotten aboard Exy. He also considered that the reason that everyone complained when he made himself completely unreachable was due to the possibility of similar situations arising. Oh, well. Too late to change things now.

He decided he’d heard enough and slowly started making his way down to the detention level, careful not to make any noise that might alert the intruders to his presence. He kept an eye on them, taking note of how many of them were wandering through Exy’s corridors.

There were two intruders standing guard in the corridor outside the containment cells. Neil went down another tier and circled around until he was positioned at a small vent in the back of Renee’s cell. He knocked lightly to get her attention.

She turned at the noise, her eyes lighting up when she caught sight of where he was waving to her. Restlessly, she paced the cell a couple times and then came and sat beside the vent, in the crossed-legged position in which she normally prayed.

“Things seem to be going well,” remarked Neil.

“Are you alright? Where have you been?” she asked quietly. When one of the guards out in the corridor passed her cell, she begin reciting prayers. The guard sneered at her and moved on.

“Napping,” said Neil. “Nothing so exciting as what’s been happening to you. Do you know how many are on board? I’ve counted five so far.”

“Six, I believe. There were eight and I took care of two of them when they first attacked.”

“If I let you out of there can you take out the rest of them? Or do you need one of the others to help? I’d rather he stayed safely in his cell but if you need help I’ll let Kevin out.”

“Do you doubt my ability?”

“You _did_ get yourself locked in a cage,” Neil pointed out.

“They had a gun to Allison’s head,” said Renee, her voice full of repressed rage. “I will have no problem incapacitating all of them permanently. I assume that you’re going to create a diversion?”

“Andrew _does_ say that I’m distracting.”

“I bet he does,” she chuckled.

“I’ll need something explosive that won’t harm Exy.”

“In the science lab, I have a stockpile. Use any of the purple coloured ones. They’re all flash, no substance.”

“I was going to make a joke but it’s just too easy,” sighed Neil. “Give me a thousand microts to distract the guard and open your cell. Then go nuts.”

“These people came on board under false pretenses and locked us up in our own home,” said Renee darkly. “They will not see me coming and they won’t know what hit them.”

Neil couldn’t help the shiver that went up his spine at Renee’s expression. He was very glad that she was on his side.

* * *

“I’m receiving a transmission from Thea’s ship,” said Wymack. “They’ll be at the rendezvous point in half an arn.”

Kevin looked up at the holoclam from where he was sorting components into storage containers. They’d spent the last two solars systematically stripping everything of value from the traders’ vessel before placing their bodies on board and ejected the small ship into space, rigged to explode. It was a little disconcerting to realize that Kevin found this a completely normal thing to do. When he was still on Earth he would have been horrified by what was essentially piracy. He wondered when exactly his moral compass had shifted. Had it been the first time that someone had tried to kill him, or the twentieth? Sometimes he was relieved he couldn’t go home; he didn’t want to expose the people of Earth to the things he’d experienced.

“Did they cure Aaron?” asked Renee serenely. Looking at her Kevin could hardly believe that twenty arns previously she had mercilessly killed the traders who had taken them hostage like a righteous and vengeful angel. She looked innocent and peaceful.

“Yes; he is expected to make a complete recovery,” said Wymack.

“What did we have to pay for that?” drawled Seth.

“Whatever it was, we’ve likely made a profit with all this,” said Neil, gesturing to the cargo containers they’d filled.

“Well they shouldn’t benefit from _that_ ,” said Seth. “ _We’re_ the ones who did all the work.”

“Technically _Renee_ and I are the ones who saved you,” said Neil. “I could have left you in that cell to be sold off to the Peacekeepers.”

Seth grumbled but didn’t argue further.

Kevin was bouncing on the balls of his feet waiting for the others to return. He’d missed Thea more than he’d expected and the ship didn’t feel quite right when Dan and M’Att and Andrew weren’t there, not only because they were their best fighters and would have come in handy with the traders.

Unexpectedly, it was Jean who came through the docking bay doors first, making a beeline for Renee and Allison, who hugged him tightly in greeting. M’Att and Dan were next, followed by Thea, then Aaron. He was pale and leaning on a beaming Katelyn. Bringing up the rear was Andrew.

“So what’s the damage?” Allison asked when she pulled away from Jean.

“It’s not bad, actually,” said Dan. “A couple blueprints from Thea’s ship and a corvidium crystal.”

Allison blinked. “That’s _much_ less than I expected,” she said.

“Us, too,” said M’Att. “Andrew took forever negotiating it.”

Andrew looked up at the sound of his name. “He drove a hard bargain but eventually gave in because he wanted a challenge.”

Neil had drifted close to Andrew. “You owe me two,” he said archly.

“Alright,” said Andrew blandly.

Neil paused, waiting for something.

“I’ll give you what you’re owed,” Andrew said.

Neil stared at him intensely for a moment. “You owe me your Prowler, as per our agreement,” he said. Kevin raised his eyebrows and saw the others make similar outward expressions of surprise. It seemed unlikely that Andrew would barter away his Prowler; he was extremely possessive over it.

Andrew nodded once. “Whatever we agreed,” he said.

“You were alone with Proust while you negotiated the payment?” asked Neil, veering sharply to a new topic.

“I was,” confirmed Andrew. “He ended up being reasonable.”

Kevin stopped paying attention to their conversation as Thea had come to greet him.

“Have a good time?” she asked.

“Not in so many words,” he replied, smiling back at her.

“Hey, Kevin, can I borrow your pistol for a second?” Neil asked, appearing at Kevin’s side.

Kevin distractedly handed it over, his attention still on Thea.

“Thanks,” said Neil, before he turned and shot Andrew in the head.

There was a stunned silence. Kevin gaped before his brain came back online and he tackled Neil to the ground. Had one of the traders done something to him? Was this still one of those plant replicas?

“How could you?” he snarled.

“That _thing_ is not Andrew,” shouted Neil, struggling wildly underneath Kevin. “How could you _not notice_?”

“Kevin, _look_ ,” said Thea.

Kevin looked over and felt ill. There was a hole blown in Andrew’s head, but where there should be blood and brains was only circuits and wires.

“Goddess,” breathed Renee. “What is that?”

“It’s a bioloid,” said Jean, horror struck. “I knew Proust worked with them, but I never considered—”

“None of us did,” said Dan heavily.

“Where is he?” demanded Aaron, his eyes wide and panicked. “Where is the real Andrew?”

Only silence answered his question.

* * *

“I examined the bioloid,” said Renee soberly. Kevin looked over to where Aaron and Neil were sitting, completely tense. The three of them had been silently waiting for Renee to finish her examination, not making eye contact with each other. “I was able to gain access to its memory core before it sensed an intrusion and wiped itself.”

“Did you find anything useful?” asked Kevin.

“Only a single word: Easthaven. I think it may be the bioloid’s base of origin.”

The name pinged something in Kevin’s brain, but he couldn’t recall where he’d heard it before.

“Does anyone know where it is?” asked Aaron.

“No,” said Renee after a brief pause. “No one’s heard of it and we don’t even know if that’s where Proust has taken Andrew.”

“But it’s our best bet,” summed up Kevin. “What are we going to do?”

“We’re going to find the base,” said Neil.

“How?” sneered Aaron. “Locations of _secret bases_ are not usually easy to find.”

“What’s your plan, then?” asked Neil. “Give up? Leave Andrew there?”

“It’s not like we have much choice—”

“If it had been you that was taken Andrew would stop at nothing to rescue you,” chastised Neil. “Same goes for you,” he admonished Kevin, despite the fact that he hadn’t argued about mounting a rescue.

“Andrew doesn’t care about me,” replied Aaron but he sounded unsure.

“Did you miss the part where he just traded his life for yours?” snapped Neil.

Aaron looked as if he’d been slapped. “He didn’t… he wouldn’t,” he stammered.

“Well he did,” said Neil. “Keep that in mind while you’re giving up.”

“Neil—” said Kevin.

“No,” said Neil. “He wouldn’t leave any of us behind. He came for me at the Gammak base. We are going to do whatever it takes to find this Easthaven and burn it to the ground.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: murder, minor character death, reference to non-consensual medical procedure

Neil was dreaming. He was aware of this fact, but the knowledge seemed far away, unimportant. He knew he was dreaming but he didn’t want to stop.

He was in his quarters, in his bed. The lights were off, except for the emergency auxiliary lighting, which provided a red glow. He could hear someone moving in the darkness, but he was completely relaxed and unconcerned. To his sleeping mind it was obvious that it was Andrew in his room with him. He had no reason to fear Andrew.

“Come to bed,” he entreated.

“Not yet,” Andrew replied, his voice gravelly. Neil had only heard his voice take on that register rarely; it was a tone that was reserved for Neil when the two of them were alone. Neil idly wondered if that was true. Andrew had certainly had other partners; had they ever seen him completely at ease like Neil had? Had they seen Andrew’s eyes when his pupils were blown open with desire? Had they felt him whisper praise and admiration into their bare skin?

“Why not?” said Neil, letting himself whine. He reached out to where Andrew was only an outline moving in the dark. “Why won’t you come here?”

Andrew took a single step forward into the red light. “Easthaven,” he said.

Neil sat up. “Where is it?” he asked.

“Ask Kevin,” said Andrew.

“Kevin?”

“Easthaven,” said Kevin materializing outside the doorway, the left half of his face obscured by shadows.

“Easthaven,” said Andrew again, his skin bathed in red light, before he was blown backward by an explosion.

The dream shattered. Neil opened his eyes to his dark bedroom. When Renee had said Easthaven he’d been sure he’d heard the word somewhere before but he couldn’t remember where. Kevin, too, admitted to it sounding familiar. They’d both been right. He thanked his subconscious for figuring it out.

It didn’t take him long to reach Kevin’s quarters. The door was locked, but that had never stopped him before. He stalked over to where Kevin was sleeping, grabbed one of his ankles, and pulled him onto the floor.

Kevin squawked in indignation and tried to cover up his nakedness. Neil averted his eyes.

“I’m not a particularly violent person,” said Thea, sitting up and covering herself with the sheet. “But I’ll make an exception just this once.”

“In all fairness, I didn’t know you were here,” said Neil. “And that _is_ the best way to wake Kevin up.”

“You make a good point,” conceded Thea.

“This had better be an emergency,” groused Kevin, scrambling to put some pants on.

“It is,” said Neil. “I know how to find Andrew.”

* * *

“Andrew is in an alternate reality?” said Allison, in disbelief. “This is what you woke us up to tell us?”

“That’s not what I said,” said Neil, trying to keep a rein on his temper. Shouting wasn’t going to help his credibility. “What I said was that an Andrew we met in an alternate reality knew about Easthaven.”

“Okay, let’s go back to the alternate reality,” said Dan. “ _When_ exactly were you there?”

“When Thea’s ship got pushed into the wormhole after we separated it from Exy.”

“You came out of the wormhole five hundred microts, _max_ , after we did,” said Dan.

“Time doesn’t work the same way in wormholes,” said Kevin. “He’s telling the truth. We visited several alternate realities and even a fake Earth.”

Dan looked to Thea. “They are correct,” she said.

Neil rolled his eyes that they trusted Thea more than him, but it may be that they suspected she was less biased about finding a way to save Andrew.

“I knew I’d heard the word Easthaven before and then I realized that it was in the other reality.”

“Oh!” said Kevin in realization. “The weird one with all the merged people? I remember now.”

“Merged people?” asked M’Att.

“It was really strange,” said Kevin. “Instead of twelve of us, there were six but we’d all merged. Like, Neil and Katelyn had merged, so Neil looked Sebacean. Andrew and Nicky had merged so Andrew had Nicky’s red skin and yellow eyes.”

“Ugh,” said Allison, clearly trying to picture it. “Who was I merged with?”

“M’Att,” said Neil. “And Seth and Dan were merged, and Aaron and Renee, and Kevin and Jean.”

“Right,” said Kevin. “And the Andrew-Nicky hybrid got fatally injured, so the Kevin-Jean hybrid helped… him? Them? Whatever. Kevin-Jean shone his head light and started babbling about Easthaven.”

“My Stykera ability allows me to help people pass from this plane,” said Jean slowly. “When I do so, I am able to share their memories. It is not called my ‘head light’.” He gave Kevin a reproachful look. Kevin shrugged helplessly.

“I don’t see how this helps us,” said Dan. “We can’t travel to an alternate reality.”

“Actually, using the wormhole, we might be able to,” said Neil.

“But we shouldn’t,” Thea reminded him. “Remember the warnings we received.”

“He also said that every place we’d been had a unique signature. We’ve been there, so we can maybe find a way to return. Since we’re not planning on staying for long, we won’t accidentally make it our permanent reality,” said Kevin, visibly warming to Neil’s idea.

“What exactly are you proposing?” asked Renee. “Exy can’t navigate the wormhole.”

“No, but Thea’s ship can,” said Neil. “We go back to that particular wormhole, pop over to the alternate reality, get our Jean to help the Andrew-Nicky hybrid pass over and then we’ll know where Easthaven is.”

“There are so many things wrong with this plan that I can’t even begin listing them,” said Dan, clearly lying since she immediately started doing so. “One, you don’t know that Easthaven is in the same place in the two different realities; two, you don’t know that you can actually get there and get back; three, your plan is to _murder_ someone!?”

“Technically,” said Kevin slowly, “that reality doesn’t exist if we’re not in it. Besides, we already know that basically everybody ends up dead when Captain Moriyama boards. We’d just be hastening the inevitable.”

“We don’t have any better ideas and every solar we waste is a solar that Andrew is in the hands of someone that we know experiments on people,” said Neil. “We might as well _try_.”

“I vote we try Neil’s plan,” said Aaron, speaking up unexpectedly.

“Me, too,” added Katelyn quickly.

“You two don’t get votes,” said Allison acidly.

“I’m willing to lend my ship for the attempt,” said Thea. “I’m curious to see if it’s possible to do as he suggests.”

“I’m also willing to go,” said Jean quietly. “As it was Andrew who released me from my long imprisonment.”

Renee looked from Jean to Neil and back again. “I will go with you.”

Dan looked askance. “You _approve_ of the murder plan?”

“I believe that doing distasteful things is sometimes necessary.”

Allison threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. “If you die in an attempt to save that monster, I will be very annoyed with you.”

“Don’t call him that,” said Neil, bristling.

“Dying to save someone is a worthwhile death,” said Renee placidly. “But I’ll do my best to stay alive.”

“Yeah, you’d better,” grumbled Allison. “I don’t fancy having to avenge you.”

* * *

Neil was banking on Thea’s instruments being able to direct them, and they could, more or less. Kevin claimed he could sense where they were headed, hearing it like a hum, faint and almost inaudible, that he could only hear if he concentrated. Kevin was convinced he could follow it, like a homing beacon.

“Destination is the key,” said Kevin, quoting Black Eyes. “If I can recognize where we’ve been before we should be able to follow the signal to the bizarro universe and back again.”

They were on board Thea’s ship, sitting at the mouth of the wormhole where they’d first met. Jean and Renee were looking at it with wonder, never having travelled through a wormhole before.

“One chance,” said Thea. “I’ll give you one chance before returning; I don’t want to risk ruining everything.”

“One chance,” agreed Neil, privately planning on doing this however many times it took to find Andrew. “Let’s go.”

He was in charge of piloting the ship, and he followed where Kevin navigated. Up, down, left, right, until the sensors shrieked in warning.

“Now, Thea!” Kevin said, as Neil pulled them out of the wormhole.

They were in an area of space that appeared remarkably similar to where they’d just left. Exy was drifting in the distance, looking just like she always did.

“Did it work?” asked Renee. “Or are we back where we started from?” She hit her communicator. “Allison?”

“Oh, _now_ you’re talking to me,” grumbled M’Att’s familiar voice. “Stopped your tantrum, have you?”

“That’s promising,” said Kevin.

“Hmmm,” said Thea, “bad news.”

“That’s less promising,” said Kevin.

Thea shot him a look, but continued. “My instruments are getting weird readings from the wormhole. I want to stay here to make sure we have a way back. You take the emergency shuttle and I’ll keep my ship here to act as a doorstop.”

“I’ll stay with you,” said Kevin. “I think I had enough of this reality last time we were here.”

“Keep your eyes open,” said Neil. “Don’t forget that a Command Carrier was here last time.”

“You’d better hurry,” said Kevin, completely unnecessarily.

Neil rolled his eyes. “I never would have thought of that on my own,” he said. He waved Jean and Renee to the emergency shuttle. “Come on.”

* * *

 

Kevin knew he was hardly being subtle with the glances he was sneaking at Thea as she studied her instruments but he couldn’t help himself.

Thea sighed, her shoulders slumping a little. “What is it?” she asked.

“I think we should discuss our relationship,” he said without preamble, deciding to take the bull by the horns.

Thea stared at him for a beat. “Thank you,” she said dryly, “for waiting until this appropriate time and place.”

“This isn’t so bad,” defended Kevin. “We’re just waiting for Neil and the others to get back.”

“And making sure we don’t lose the wormhole, and keeping an eye out for hostiles…”

“Well, if you don’t want to,” said Kevin, turning away feeling stung.

“I didn’t say that,” said Thea. “What’s wrong? I thought we were enjoying ourselves.”

“We were,” agreed Kevin. “We are. It’s just… what now? I like labels and definitions, so I want to know what this is. Is this just fun for you?”

“We’ve only known each other for a matter of solars,” Thea pointed out.

“I know,” said Kevin. “But we’ve already been through a lot together. I guess what I’m worried about is… your ship is fixed now. Are you going to leave?”

Thea didn’t answer at first, staring instead at the screen in front of her although Kevin got the feeling that she wasn’t taking in any of the information displayed. “I should,” she said, her voice low. “It’s my mission; to travel wormholes to record and transmit data. We always knew it was a one-way trip, that we’d be stranded once we left. I thought I’d prepared for that, but… I’m not sure anything can prepare you for that.”

“I understand,” said Kevin. “Even if I’d had warning about what was going to happen…” he trailed off and shook his head.

“We accepted the risks,” said Thea, sounding bleak. “We knew that we’d end up somewhere alien, perhaps somewhere hostile. We knew we could end up dead. But I never thought I’d be alone.”

“Were you close?” asked Kevin. “With your crewmates?”

“We were all we had. We were close by necessity; I’m not sure we would have ever associated with each other in normal circumstances.”

“I can appreciate that.”

“I’ll bet you can,” said Thea, shaking off her melancholy. “Somehow I’m not surprised that you wouldn’t choose Seth or Allison if you could help it.”

Kevin smiled thinly. “Maybe I can go with you?” he suggested. “If you decide to leave.”

Thea looked torn. “You have friends, commitments—”

“Well, we’ll save Andrew first, of course,” said Kevin. “But as for my promise to him… I’m not the one who can help him with that.”

“You’ve built yourself a home with these people,” said Thea bluntly. “Do you really want to leave another home forever?”

Kevin sucked in a breath. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I want both: to stay with my friends and to study wormholes.” He looked up at Thea. “I want to stay with you, too.”

“You say that now…”

He shrugged. “Maybe I’ll change my mind, I don’t know,” he said. “What do you want?”

“I don’t know,” said Thea. “I don’t want to be alone but it’s my duty to carry on.”

“Take some time before you make a decision?” Kevin half-suggested, half-requested.

“The longer I stay, the harder it will be to go.”

“It’s a decision you can’t ever take back. Might as well give it serious thought.”

“If I stay with you,” said Thea stiffly, “whenever I see my ship I will know that I should be somewhere else.”

“You’re never allowed to stop travelling?”

“Not as long as the ship is operational,” said Thea.

“Let’s not worry about it now.”

“You’re the one who wanted to talk.”

“Let’s wait until we’ve got Andrew back,” said Kevin. “I owe him; I won’t leave him in captivity. Once he’s safe, I’ll think about going with you.”

“I hope you do,” said Thea, so quietly that it was almost inaudible.

* * *

 

“Wymack, let us in,” Neil commed when they got close to bizarro Exy.

“You’re the most demanding little tralk, aren’t you?” sneered Wymack in response, but the docking bay doors opened.

Renee shot him a surprised glance.

Neil shrugged. “Wymack seems to have been merged with a bad personality here.”

They were met in the maintenance bay by M’Att-Allison and Seth-Dan.

“Oh,” said Renee, as they exited the shuttle. “Despite your words, I was not prepared.”

“ _Why_ did you bring him here?” demanded M’Att-Allison, glaring at Jean. “He’s a puppet of Riko Moriyama!”

“He’s defecting,” said Neil. He remembered that last time the hybrids had mentioned something about Neil, Kevin, and Andrew trying to broker some kind of deal with the Peacekeepers. “We need to speak with… uh…” he wasn’t quite sure what name to use. “The red skinned one?” he tried.

M’Att-Allison was completely unimpressed. “You mean Andrew?” they said.

“Sure,” said Neil, more or less giving up on understanding the organization of this reality.

“Why?” asked Seth-Dan. “He hates you.”

“As in actually hates me, or do you mean his weird Peacekeeper flirting thing?” asked Neil. He knew that his Andrew did hate him at least a little, for being someone that Andrew found attractive when he didn’t want to, but that his constant reminders were mostly for show.

“Did you just call him a _Peacekeeper_?” said M’Att-Allison.

“I guess he’s not one here?” said Jean.

“What do you mean, ‘here’?” asked Seth-Dan suspiciously.

“Nothing,” said Neil. “We just really need to see him. Where is he?”

M’Att-Allison smirked. “He’s with his brother’s lover up in the neural cluster.”

“Allison!” hissed Seth-Dan. “You’re going to start a fight!”

“Secrets have a way of doing that,” said M’Att-Allison, levelling a glare at Renee.

“Great,” said Neil, itching to get what they’d come here to do over with. “Let’s go.”

“You know,” said Jean, hurrying along after him as they headed for the neural cluster. “I’m suddenly very glad that no relationship drama has happened in our own universe. It seems like it would be uncomfortable in such a restricted space.”

“Haven’t you ever learned anything about tempting fate?” asked Neil. He rounded the corner into the neural cluster and came up short, his heart thudding in his chest. The Neil-Katelyn hybrid was there, shirtless, sitting in the Andrew-Nicky hybrid’s lap and kissing him passionately. It was stupid to feel as if he’d been punched; this Andrew was clearly not his Andrew, and Neil-Katelyn was _him_ , sort of.

“Oh,” gasped Renee in surprise.

“Neil,” said Andrew-Nicky, pulling away from Neil-Katelyn. “I wasn’t expecting you back so soon.”

Neil blinked a couple times before responding. “ _You’re_ his brother’s lover?” he asked Neil-Katelyn, surprising himself with the question. That wasn’t important and wasn’t why they were there.

Sebacean Neil pushed himself away from Andrew-Nicky. He looked up at Neil and smirked. It was strange, looking into what his own face would have been if he’d been born a Sebacean. It was odd seeing his skin so pink. He also really wanted to smack the smirk off of Neil-Katelyn’s face. Was this what his actual expression looked like? No wonder he’d been punched so many times in his life.

“What can I say?” drawled Sebacean Neil, wiping a thumb along his lip and then licking it, as if he wanted to get all of Andrew’s taste. “Minyards do it for me.”

Neil’s revulsion was visceral and he was suddenly glad that it was Renee and Jean who were witnessing this. None of his other friends would ever let him live it down. “Ew,” he said, shaking his head. “We don’t have time for this.”

“It’s your own fault,” said Andrew-Nicky, sitting back and looking completely at ease. “I wouldn’t have to look elsewhere if you gave me everything I needed.”

Neil clenched his jaw, trying not to let the words bother him. It was something he’d worried about, not being enough for Andrew, and to hear Andrew’s voice confirming his fears…

“Get out,” he said sharply to Neil-Katelyn, who was still looking smug. He shrugged insolently, pulled his shirt back on and left the room, stopping only to whisper, “He’s so good with his tongue, isn’t he?” to Neil as he passed.

“You’re planning on betraying him to the Peacekeepers!” Neil hissed in response.

Neil-Katelyn only shrugged in response. “It doesn’t mean anything.”

Neil screwed his eyes closed tightly. When he opened them, he levelled his weapon at Andrew.

Andrew-Nicky was visibly amused at the sight. “Gonna shoot me, Neil?” he taunted. He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. “Put one right between my eyes?”

That _had_ been the plan, but Neil could feel himself wavering. This was _Andrew_. Sure he had red skin and his eyes weren’t right, but underneath he was still Andrew. The hand holding the gun trembled.

“You can’t do it, can you?” taunted Andrew-Nicky.

“I can,” said Neil stubbornly. He still didn’t shoot.

“Neil,” said Renee softly, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“We need to know where Easthaven is,” said Neil, shaking her off. “This place isn’t real and he’s going to die soon, anyway. I can do this.”

Andrew-Nicky scoffed. “You can’t kill me. Despite everything, you love me.”

“I don’t,” said Neil sharply.

“Neil, why do I think I came with you?” said Renee gently.

“To protect Jean.”

“I came because you shouldn’t have to do this,” she corrected.

“I can,” protested Neil. “I killed the bioloid.” But even though the bioloid looked like Andrew, its eyes were dead. He’d known right away that it wasn’t his Andrew looking out at him. This was different. For all the dissimilarities between Andrew-Nicky and Andrew, Neil could still see Andrew in the hybrid’s eyes.

He should be able to kill him anyway. He’d grown up knowing that to trust someone was to give them undue power. His mother had taught him to never trust anyone, to never stop running, to never be soft. After her death at the hands of someone they’d conned out of money, he’d kept going, keeping her instructions in mind. He’d been so tired by the time Lola had caught up with him, he was almost ready to give in as long as he could rest. Exy had literally appeared from nowhere to cripple Lola’s ship, save him, and give him a home. It had happened so gradually that he almost hadn’t noticed. But now, looking into almost-Andrew’s eyes, he realized that he couldn’t leave if he tried. He could never leave Andrew. Once they got him back, he’d have to tell him that he’d broken their agreement and fallen for him. He knew Andrew only wanted him physically, nothing more.

His hand was shaking so badly he could barely hold the gun. Andrew-Nicky was watching him with a very familiar intent gaze.

“You’re right,” Neil whispered. “I can’t.”

Renee’s hand wrapped around his as he lowered the gun. “It’s alright,” she said. “I can.” She raised his gun and shot Andrew-Nicky twice in the chest.

Neil felt completely numb, watching the Andrew hybrid slump to the ground. He felt like he was outside of himself, observing from a distance. Renee was still behind him, her eyes closed as she whispered prayers of love and forgiveness to her goddess. Jean took two strides across the room, unbuckling his mask. He knelt by Andrew-Nicky, exposing the warm, calming light that made up the left half of his face. Murmuring, he leaned over the body.

“Easthaven,” he said, his one eye glazed and his voice monotone. “Research base inside a shadow depository. Hides itself by mirroring the orbit of one of the moons of Columbia.”

“Wait, Columbia?” said Neil. “I know of the shadow depository at Columbia. I’ve never heard it referred to as Easthaven.” His mind whirled with the seeds of a plan he didn’t like and wasn’t sure he could pull off.

“Columbia should be on our recently acquired star charts,” said Jean without inflection, still blank from his trance.

“Come on,” said Renee, forcibly turning Neil away from Andrew-Nicky’s dead body. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Yes,” said Jean, getting to his feet. “Let’s leave this horrible place.”

* * *

Kevin could tell that Neil was shaken when he returned to the ship; Renee and Jean both looked wrung out as well.

“Did it work?” he demanded, not letting himself think about what they’d gone to do. He understood the necessity but he was still less complacent about killing than most of his crewmates seemed to be.

“Easthaven is located near a planet called Columbia,” said Neil. “Can we go home now?”

“Assuming we can,” said Kevin.

“You’re such a ray of positivity, Kevin,” said Neil, shaking his head. “We found our way here; let’s find our way home.”

Kevin didn’t like the ‘follow the hum’ method of navigating. He liked cold, scientific facts and it was a little too hand-wavey and wishy-washy for him, but he couldn’t deny that it had worked.

“Focus on arriving _after_ we left,” said Kevin, to remind himself. “That’s the key to making sure we’re in our proper reality.”

Although the wormhole still appeared to be a silvery-blue tunnel, Kevin could see more in it now than he had before. It almost made sense to him, travelling along these paths. With practice, he thought he could come to understand them. It was both frightening and exhilarating to realize; the former because he was scared to actually have the knowledge that the Peacekeepers were hunting him for— he did not want either of the Moriyamas to know what he did; the latter because he wanted to learn everything he could about these strange phenomena.

They were close to their destination when Kevin was brought out of his reverie about wormholes by something he’d never encountered popping up on sensors. It looked almost like a bubble blocking their path.

“Avoid it!” shouted Thea at Neil, who banked sharply to the left. Despite his attempt, they still passed through the edge of the anomaly and into the purple-coloured bubble.

Multiple targets showed up on their sensors; they were suddenly surrounded by other ships.

“What—” he managed to say before they passed through the far edge of the bubble, returning to the wormhole.

Kevin’s panel briefly went dead, before coming back to life to blare warnings at him. It felt like something slammed into them, and the ship began spinning end over end. They burst into normal space, hopefully into the correct time and place. Kevin couldn’t check where they were, having been knocked off his feet. From where he was sprawled, he couldn’t see anyone else. There were more bulkheads in command then there had been, like when Exy and Thea’s ship had merged, and he could see that the Phaztillion generator was sparking dangerously.

He dragged himself over to it, finding Thea. Her green blood was trickling from a head wound.

“Are you okay?” asked Kevin.

“I’ll be fine,” said Thea, shortly, her eyes frantically darting around to survey the damage.

“Where does it hurt?” Kevin pressed, reaching for her forehead.

She slapped his hand away. “Where it’s bleeding,” she said. “Don’t touch.” She tried to use the Phaztillion generator, but received a shock. “This is going to blow,” she said, her tone frantic. “We need to abandon ship.”

Kevin’s eyes widened. “Are you sure? You can’t do anything?”

She looked around again. “No,” she said shortly. “It’s a lost cause.”

Kevin hit his communicator. “Everyone to the emergency shuttle!”

He heard acknowledgement from Renee, Jean, and Neil; he breathed out a sigh of relief that they were all alive and capable of answering him.

The ship lurched, and several small explosions occurred across command. He pushed Thea ahead of him, stumbling as they made their way to the shuttle. Neil was already there, looking a little worse for wear, and Renee and Jean weren’t far behind them.

Thea strapped herself into the pilot’s seat. “Hit the release!” she commanded Kevin.

He went to the back of the shuttle to hit the controls to decouple them from Thea’s ship. He’d just pressed the release panel when he heard Neil shouting, his voice somehow coming from outside the shuttle.

“Hey!” he yelled. “Wait for me!”

A hunched figure appeared out of the smoke, doubled over and rushing for the shuttle. He dove through the closing door, making it just before the airlock engaged and the shuttle blasted away from the ship. Almost as soon as they were away, the ship they’d just been on exploded. Kevin had to close his eyes against the brightness as the shockwave rocked the shuttle.

“I can’t believe you almost left me there,” said Neil reproachfully, lying near Kevin’s feet.

Kevin stared down at him, and then looked to where another Neil was sitting in one of the shuttle’s seats, his eyes confused and staring at the second Neil.

“What?” said the Neil on the ground. “Why are you looking at me like that?” He followed Kevin’s gaze. “Oh,” he said quietly, eyes becoming round as he looked at his duplicate. “Oh, frell me.”

* * *

“I believe it was a time bubble,” said Thea, looking back and forth between the two Neils. They were all gathered in the medical bay, those from Thea’s ship getting treatment for various wounds and the others goggling at Neil 1 and Neil 2 like they were zoo animals.

“A time bubble,” repeated Allison. “That’s how we ended up with a copy?”

“I’m not a copy,” said both Neils simultaneously, then glared at each other.

“Neither of them is a copy,” said Thea. “They’re both Neil.”

“How?” asked M’Att.

“There is a theory that for every action we make, there is an alternate universe where we made a different decision. Say, instead of veering left around a time bubble, the ship veered right,” said Thea. “Normally, those universes never intersect. But in the time bubble, they do. When we entered it, we were separated into multiple ships: each one on a slightly different vector. When we exited the bubble all the possibilities should have merge back into one; clearly it didn’t happen properly and we were made into two separate ships trying to occupy the same space.”

“So you’re saying that _all_ of us were duplicated?” asked Renee.

“Yes,” said Thea thickly.

“Then the others were…” said Dan.

“Still on the ship when it exploded,” finished Thea. Kevin swallowed heavily. He’d unknowingly left another version of himself to die.

“Or they were killed when the ships merged,” said Jean quietly.

There was a ringing silence as everyone tried to digest this.

Dan shook her head, as if trying to dislodge something. “So neither Neil is a copy?” she asked.

Thea nodded. “They were exactly the same person until the time bubble separated all of us. They have all the same memories and experiences and even the same cells.”

“We can worry about that later,” said both Neils. Again, they turned to look at each other, until one of them gestured for the other to go on.

“That’s going to get old quickly,” said the Neil on the left.

“Maybe you should wear different colours?” said M’Att. “Grey Neil and Black Neil, since that is the only colour clothing you seem to own?”

Left Neil waved a hand. “Fine, whatever. It’s not important right now.”

“We have to find Andrew,” said Right Neil. “We know where Easthaven is.”

“Oh, man,” said Nicky. “Shot not telling Andrew that there are two Neils now.”

“Who’s to say he’d be annoyed about it?” said Allison. “Now there are one hundred percent more Neils to fool around with.”

“Stop wasting time,” chided Left Neil. “We need to get Andrew.”

“Well, they’re both certainly set on rescuing Andrew,” said Dan. “Even though we know where he is, we’re not rushing in without a plan.”

“I,” said Right Neil, before glancing at Left Neil. “ _We_ ,” he corrected, “have a plan.”

Left Neil grimaced. “I don’t like it,” he said.

“Me neither, but I wasn’t going to say anything.”

“Yes you were,” said Left Neil.

“It’ll only work with both of us,” said Right Neil.

“I’m aware. You know I’m in.”

“It’s weird,” said M’Att. “Right? I’m not the only one who finds it weird?”

“It’s weird,” confirmed Nicky.

* * *

Andrew’s head felt heavy as he slowly regained consciousness. It took him several moments to remember where he was. Proust had proven treacherous. The sight of what he had assumed was another Minyard clone had caused Andrew to hesitate, which allowed the bioloid to get the jump on him and inject him with a paralytic. After, he’d been kept heavily sedated for the trip back to Proust’s laboratory. He didn’t know what Proust wanted with him but he did know that he just had to endure long enough for Neil to realize the bioloid wasn’t him and to come after him. His absolute belief that Neil would be coming surprised him. He hadn’t realized how much faith he had in him.

He surveyed his surroundings. He was in a small holding room, lying on a slab and secured in place by restraints. He’d already tested them thoroughly; there was no way for him to break free. His head throbbed along with his heart beat and he could see his pulse. He concentrated on not vomiting, not wanting to choke to death.

Proust’s hated face swam into view, hovering above him. Andrew tensed all his muscles, trying to break the restraints to kill him.

“How are you feeling?” asked Proust, seemingly amused by Andrew’s efforts.

“You are going to die for this,” promised Andrew.

“Everybody dies,” said Proust blithely. “I suspect your crewmates may be aware that you’re missing; the bioloid stopped transmitting almost as soon as it was brought on board your Leviathan. It’s really quite impressive that they noticed the deception so quickly.”

 _Neil_ , thought Andrew. He didn’t know where his certainty came from but he was absolutely sure that it had been Neil who noticed the difference.

Proust didn’t seem to care that Andrew wasn’t responding to him. “It will work out nicely for me if they come to get you, actually.”

This gave Andrew pause. “A trap?”

“No, no,” Proust waved him away, the spines of his head spreading outwards. “The truth is, I’m dying.”

“Good.”

Proust chuckled. “I should probably have said this _body_ is dying. My mind, of course, is too precious to lose. That’s where you come in.”

“What do you mean?” said Andrew, dread creeping over him.

“I have a deal with Ichirou, you know,” he said. “He always wanted me as a Peacekeeper, but he couldn’t convince High Command of my usefulness because of my species. Instead he pays me enough to keep me loyal. But it’s not quite the same as being Sebacean, is it? See, with _your_ body, I can make my way up through Peacekeeper Command. And if your little friends come for you, I can turn them over to the Peacekeepers. Can you imagine how they’ll reward me?”

“I am currently using my body.”

“Not for long,” cooed Proust, running a finger along Andrew’s ear. Andrew tried to twitch away, but he was held fast. “I just performed a little surgery to make sure I get what I want.”

“What did you do to me?” growled Andrew.

“Just a little insertion; you’ll hardly notice it,” said Proust. “Did you know that I have long worked on mind control technologies? The Nebari have ways, but their mental cleanse is artless. Completely destroys the person, making them useless. What if, instead of taking the mind away, you _add_ a different mind, one stronger than the one occupying the body? All it takes is a little chip, a neural clone, and the body becomes yours.”

Andrew furrowed his brow, not understanding.

“I put a chip in your head,” said Proust, tsking at his confusion. “It contains a copy of me. And it will sit there, dormant, learning everything about you until it’s time to take control of your body. You won’t be able to fight it; all you can do is sit back and watch. So what’s going to happen is this: either I’ll release you or your friends will come and rescue you. Once you’re back on your Leviathan, the chip will take control of you and signal the Peacekeepers. Your friends will be shocked and dismayed at your betrayal, Ichirou will give me what he promised, and I’ll stay in your body until it ages so much that I need a new one.”

“You’re delusional,” said Andrew.

“I assure you, I am not.”

“As soon as I’m free I’ll put a bullet in my brain to stop you.”

“Why would you do that?” wondered Proust. “My chip is already in your mind, in control. In microts, you won’t remember this conversation. You’ll have no idea that anything is wrong until you suddenly start doing my bidding.” He smiled, showing his pointed teeth. “Maybe the clone will make you watch as you murder someone you care about.” He seemed excited about the prospect. “Although my frail body will be dead soon, my brilliant mind will live on.”

“I won’t let you.”

“You can’t stop me,” smirked Proust as he left the room.

Andrew struggled. _Chip in my head_ , he told himself, desperate to remember. _Shoot yourself as soon as you’re free._ He started to feel a little cloudy and his head began to throb. _There is a chip in my—_

Andrew’s head felt heavy as he regained consciousness. He blinked, looking around the room he was being held in. Had Proust been here? He had an indistinct memory of speaking with him. But, no. He hadn’t seen Proust since he’d been attacked by the bioloid. He shook his head, wondering why he felt like he was forgetting something. It was probably just a side effect of the sedative. He grit his teeth. All he had to do was wait for Neil and the others to come rescue him. He could endure until then.


	16. Chapter 16

“It’s a very secure facility you have here,” said Neil, making sure to keep his voice inflectionless as possible. A good Nebari may _have_ emotions but it was unseemly to display them.

“There are many that take advantage of our services,” replied the shadow depository’s administrator, an oily green-skinned alien named Waterhouse. “As you must know. You would not have found your way here without a recommendation from one of our clients.” His tone was leading.

“My uncle Hatford uses your secure containers to store his valuables,” Neil told him, the words making him feel itchy. He didn’t like telling the truth but it was essential in this situation. At least only Kevin was accompanying him; he didn’t want any of his other crewmates to learn the specifics of his past, especially before he told Andrew.

“And are you interested in the same service, Mr. ...?” asked Waterhouse.

“Abram,” said Neil, suppressing a wince. He could almost feel his mother’s fists beating him for admitting his name out loud in a place he could be tracked. There was every possibility that his uncle would be informed that he was here. “I am. I require short term storage in one of my uncle’s containers.”

“You are aware of the security assessment that your uncle requires before anyone may access his vault?”

“The strannit?” scoffed Neil. “It seems primitive but of course I understand his precautions.”

“It is the most accurate lie detector known in this part of the galaxy,” corrected Waterhouse. “We obviously cannot allow someone access to his possessions without verifying their intentions.”

“Of course not,” said Neil magnanimously. “Let’s get it over with, shall we?”

“Very well, follow me,” said Waterhouse. “Your guard may accompany us,” he added. Neil nodded once to Kevin, who followed Neil and Waterhouse into a plush office.

“Wait by the door,” Neil told him once they’d entered.

There was a console in the middle of the room and the far wall was made up entirely of glass, the outer wall of a giant aquarium. “Place your hand on the scanner and follow the prompts,” said Waterhouse, strolling over to the aquarium.

Neil followed his instructions, despite the fact that all his instincts were telling him to run and hide. The console scanned his hand, sampled his DNA, and took a retinal scan, all while asking him for basic identification information. He spoke only the truth, fighting his natural instincts, knowing that problems would arise if he lied. The console blinked green, identifying him as genetically related to his uncle. After his mother’s death he had never planned to again take advantage of the fact that his uncle provided access to his multiple accounts in different shadow depositories to his genetic relatives.

While Neil was proving his identity, Waterhouse fished a spiny, clawed, aquatic crustacean out of the aquarium with tongs and brought it over to where Neil was standing. “And now for the oath,” he said. “If you lie, you will die. Do you want to proceed?”

_This is for Andrew_ , Neil forcibly reminded himself and choked out an agreement. Waterhouse placed the creature, a strannit, on his head. It was an uncomfortable process; cool water dripped down Neil’s skull as the strannit moved into place using its spindly legs. Kevin made a little sound of protest from across the room. Neil glared him into silence.

The strannit had a unique ability to read the brainwaves of any other species. It was a foolproof lie detector and it was harsh in its assessments: if it detected that someone was lying, it drove a poisonous spike directly into the brain of the person attempting to deceive. Neil knew of no way to fool it; the only way to escape unscathed was to tell the truth.

“Please answer yes or no. Are you the nephew of the Nebari named Hatford?” asked Waterhouse.

“Yes.”

“Do you have permission to access his accounts at this depository?”

Neil hesitated. “Blanket permission to access all of his accounts was explicitly given to my mother and implicitly given to me. This specific depository was never mentioned.”

Waterhouse narrowed his eyes and watched the strannit. When nothing happened, he continued, “I must now ask you specific questions about your plans.”

“Get on with it.”

“Are you or anyone in your employ planning on attempting to steal from this depository?”

“No.”

“Are you going to deposit an item that could compromise our security?”

“No.”

“Are you or anyone in your employ going to take any hostile action against the personnel of this facility?”

“No.”

Waterhouse nodded and removed the strannit. Neil tried not to sag too obviously in relief; he could hear Kevin exhale noisily. Neil hadn’t been sure that would work. Technically, everything he had said was the truth: after he finished this meeting he was going back to the transport pod and staying there while the other Neil deposited something that could get them a backdoor into the shadow depository’s systems and compromise its security. He, personally, wasn’t going to do any of the things that Waterhouse had asked and he employed nobody.

Neil wasn’t particularly _happy_ about his duplicate’s existence. They spent enough time together planning this operation that Neil was convinced that Thea had been right: that the two of them were one and the same. Having someone else walking around looking and acting exactly like him was disconcerting, especially since he wasn’t sure he actually liked the guy. On the other hand, this plan wouldn’t work if he hadn’t been split into two. The biometric scans he’d submitted to were designed to be able to tell between twins or clones, to prevent the exact plan they’d come up with. If a clone of Neil’s now tried to deposit something, the system would be able to tell them apart and would force the clone into undergoing strannit questioning. However, the system wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between him and the duplicate. Fingerprints and retinal scans were always unique, no matter your genetic makeup. His and the other Neil’s matched exactly. The fact that they were completely identical meant that one Neil could undergo questioning with the strannit and the other could break whatever oath he made.

Still, thought Neil mercilessly, once this plan was complete he wouldn’t be overly upset if some calamity should befall the other Neil. There really didn’t need to be two of them.

“Everything seems to be in order here,” said Waterhouse, returning from returning the strannit to its aquarium.

“Excellent,” said Neil. “I must return to my ship to retrieve my deposit.”

Waterhouse bowed obsequiously. “Of course, sir. I will escort you to the docking area.”

Neil had no idea if Waterhouse saw to all potential clients personally, or if Neil’s uncle was an important enough person that Neil was getting special service because of him. Hatford ran a massive criminal organization bent on overthrowing the Nebari Establishment. He funnelled a lot of money and resources through shadow depositories just like this one.

“What’s down there?” asked Neil idly, as they passed a secure door to a passageway leading away from the vault.

“That leads to our research facility,” said Waterhouse.

“Oh?” said Neil, sounding as uninterested as possible. “I wasn’t aware you had a research facility.”

Waterhouse hummed in acknowledgement. “Much like we support individuals whose business dealings are not strictly legal, we support researchers whose research methods are unpopular,” he said delicately. “Scientific progress is paramount, but there are always those who balk at what needs to be done for the greater good.”

Neil refrained from arguing or rolling his eyes. Instead, he simply glanced at the security door and thought, _Hold on, Andrew. We’re coming._

* * *

Kevin followed Neil into the transport pod. The other Neil stepped out to greet them.

“Phase one complete,” the first Neil said, nodding to his double as he passed him.

It was even more disorienting than usual to have both Neils in the same room since they were dressed exactly the same. It made Kevin feel dizzy.

“You’re up,” continued the first Neil.

The second Neil gestured to a small statue that was vaguely Seth-shaped. “The melar gas will only work for another three quarters of an arn,” he said. “Come on, Kevin, let’s go.”

Kevin wasn’t quite sure how he’d ended up in the guard role in this plan, but at least it was better than Seth who was currently knocked out by some kind of gas that suspended his biological functions and trapped inside a statue, only to be deposited into what was basically a high-security bank. He’d only agreed for the promise of stealing a lot of money.

The two Neils had been thick as thieves planning this rescue mission, but they’d both been fairly cagey about what they knew about the shadow depository, as Neil was always secretive about anything to do with his past.

“Have you been here before?” Kevin had asked one of the Neils as he’d piloted them and their cargo to the surface; the other Neil had been busy administering the melar gas to Seth and getting him into the statue, like some kind of Hynerian Matryoshka doll.

Neil had hesitated. “Not personally,” he’d finally answered. “I’ve been to a facility similar to this.”

“Allison told me that shadow depositories are for people who make their money by stealing from others,” Kevin had said bluntly.

“And you want to know if I’m a criminal?” Neil had deadpanned. “I thought we’d already been over this.”

“Your petty crimes, sure,” Kevin had retorted. “I don’t think you would have stayed with us for long if you have enough wealth to merit visits to a shadow depository.”

Neil hadn’t answered for several moments. “Items of value do not necessarily have a large monetary payout.”

Kevin knew that, but he wasn’t convinced that Neil had priceless treasures stashed in places like this. For one, their fee wasn’t small. For another, the Neils had promised Seth that there was money waiting for him here. “You’re not telling me something,” he’d accused.

“Obviously.” Neil had pointed out the viewscreen, effectively distracting Kevin. “There it is.”

It was huge; a giant facility covered in large weapons. Kevin had swallowed. “ _That’s_ the place we’re robbing?”

“If everything goes well, those guns should be disabled,” Neil had said, piloting toward to docking area.

“When, in all our time together, has something gone _well_?”

“Good point,” Neil had replied, with a self-deprecating grin. “At least if I die this time, you still have a backup copy.”

Kevin had been surprised when Waterhouse and Neil had started talking about Neil’s uncle and Neil had called himself Abram. The name had struck a chord with Kevin; he remembered that Ferdinand had once called Neil by the same name.

He wanted to ask questions, but he had a feeling that Neil wouldn’t respond. Also, they were in the middle of a dangerous operation. Now was not the time for an interrogation.

Waterhouse was still waiting for them when they disembarked, wheeling the Seth-statue on a small gurney. Kevin wondered if the man was always so unctuous or if he was only this way with people who he felt he could profit from.

Neil more or less ignored him, continuing the other Neil’s act as a stereotypical Nebari. He was more blank than Kevin had ever observed before. It was odd that he wasn’t being sarcastic in response to the obvious ass-kissing. Kevin missed Neil’s normal spark of personality. Who knew that he actually liked his friend’s contentious behaviour?

“Your guard cannot accompany you into the vault,” started Waterhouse, eyeing Kevin up and down and clearly finding him lacking in some way. “Once your deposit is scanned, he can watch your progress from the surveillance centre.”

Neil snapped his fingers twice at Kevin and turned away, leaving Kevin to push the gurney with the Seth-statue. They were led through a security door, Neil being subjected to a genetic scan before they were allowed through. Past the door, three guards began scanning their statue.

“No explosives,” muttered one.

“No biologics,” added the second.

“No power fields,” reported the third.

“Your statue,” said Waterhouse, “is it Hynerian?”

Neil barely spared a glance to the metal sarcophagus-type statue that Allison had created. Inside of it, aside from Seth, was something Katelyn had called a data spike. Kevin hoped it was enough to do what they needed.

“Neltoth era,” said Neil dismissively. “I liberated it from a deposed Dominar.”

“Really?” said Waterhouse, although Kevin suspected his interest was feigned. “It’s incredibly ugly.” He reached out to touch.

Kevin hid a smirk; the statue looked remarkably like Seth.

“Yes,” agreed Neil, catching Waterhouse’s arm. “But priceless. That means no touching. The vault?”

“As I said, your guard cannot come any farther,” said Waterhouse.

Neil turned his head and nodded once to Kevin, who was then led away. He was brought to a room full of viewscreens and pointed to the one that showed Neil.

Neil was in a large, white room with a blue, sliding, barn-sized door at the far end.

“Place your hand on the console,” directed Waterhouse. “Your uncle’s container is tied to your biometrics.”

As soon as Neil touched the panel, the blue door slid open, revealing a vast warehouse of what looked like large shipping containers, hanging from rails. Kevin could see one in the far distance slide forward onto the room’s main rail, before rocketing forward into the room where Neil was.

Neil didn’t blink as the container almost hit him. His impression of an even-keel Nebari was eerily good. Kevin couldn’t wait until they were back on the transport pod and Neil was acting normal again.

* * *

Neil glanced around the tense faces that waited impatiently in command. Only other Neil was absent, since he couldn’t actively participate in their plans in case he had to be tested by the strannit again. It had been difficult to decide which of the two of them should take what role, both of them wanting the more active one, obviously. Kevin had suggested they play an Earth decision-making game called rock-paper-scissors (which made _no sense_. Especially after Kevin had explained what paper and scissors were. How could a rock not beat a piece of paper?), but after fourteen straight rounds of them picking the exact same thing, they’d given up. Then he’d told them that he was thinking of a number between one and a thousand and whoever guessed closer would get the role they wanted (they both picked number 10). Finally, Dan had asked for a random number to be generated by Exy’s computer banks, with Neil getting what he wanted if it were even and other Neil winning if it were odd. Neil felt guilty for half-hoping that the strannit would kill the other Neil to end the confusion.

He briefly wondered where the other Neil was, but dismissed the thought almost instantly. If he’d been the one barred from being here he would either be in the observation lounge or hiding in the ducts above it. Other Neil was obviously in one of those two places.

“What’s our backup plan?” Renee asked, as the microts ticked away and Katelyn still had no ping from the data spike.

The plan was simple: Seth would power on the data spike, which would allow Katelyn to bypass the depository’s firewalls. The shadow depository had no protection against this kind of infiltration since the security measures should have ensured that nothing living or powered on made it into the vault.

“Go in guns blazing?” suggested Dan after a brief pause. In all honesty, they had no backup plan.

“You guys didn’t see the security on that base,” said Kevin. “Going in like that is synonymous with instant death.”

“Don’t be such a pessimist,” said Nicky. “We’d last a couple microts, at least.”

Neil favoured the rushing in with guns blazing plan, if only because Andrew was _right there_ and he wanted him back as soon as possible. It was ridiculous; he’d survived as long as he had using his brains, not brawn. There was no good reason for him to resort to violence now.

“Hold on,” said Katelyn, straightening from where she’d been hunched over the reception dish of the data spike. A yellow light started blinking. She made a couple connections and slid a chip into it, and a big holographic image of the shadow depository appeared in mid-air above it. “I’m in,” she said happily. “Wow,” she mused. “They have very few internal controls. They _really_ trust their external firewall.”

“Can you shut off their defenses?” asked Dan.

“I can, but I won’t yet,” said Katelyn. “Right now they don’t know I’m here, but they can easily kick me out once they notice me. We’ll have to plan this exactly; we won’t have long once I start actually messing with the system.”

“Right,” said Dan. “Can you pull up the Easthaven floor plan? Do they have a prisoner manifest? We need to plan our route.”

“Uh, wait a moment,” said Katelyn, typing commands. The holographic image zoomed out, showing the research base hidden within the shadow depository. Text started scrolling rapidly to one side of the image.

“How are we going to get Seth back?” asked M’Att. “And the money?”

“I’ll go get him in about ten arns,” said Neil, distractedly, watching Katelyn. “And the container I put him in is already filled with valuables. I just have to take a couple crates with me when I pick him up.”

“Ten arns?” repeated Thea. “That seems like a long time to leave him there.”

“He’s the one who wanted to steal from the depository,” said Dan. “Even though Neil won’t explain why he has access to such resources.”

“To be fair, I was also pro-heist,” said Allison.

“Me, too,” admitted Neil. “And I don’t want to talk about it. Either you trust me or you don’t.”

“Of course we trust you,” said M’Att loyally.

“Keeping secrets like these are why I’ve lived as long as I have,” said Neil, addressing Dan.

She sighed gustily. “Fine. Are you sure you can’t get Seth sooner? I don’t like leaving him there for so long.”

“Even though it’s a short term deposit, they’re going to be suspicious enough that I came back so quickly. Also, based on my subtle questions, Waterhouse won’t be off shift until then and it’ll be safer if I don’t let him see the inside of the container again in case Seth causes any obvious changes.”

“Okay,” interrupted Katelyn. “I found the prisoner manifest. Let’s see… it’s in alphabetical order.” She started muttering under her breath. “Breskin, Dadej, Hosser, Klose, Lamkin, ah! Minyard!”

“Wait,” said Nicky sharply. “Go back. Did you say _Klose_?”

“Huh?” said Katelyn, blinking to awareness. “Oh, yes, I did.” She flipped back to the file. “Klose, Erik. Sebacean test subject; provided by the Peacekeepers.” She looked up at Nicky’s flabbergasted face. “Do you know him?”

Nicky opened and closed his mouth a couple times before he was able to speak. “He’s my husband,” he whispered.

His words caused surprise and confusion among the others. Neil had already known that Nicky was married, but it appeared that no one else did. He wondered if Nicky considered him one of his closest friends to have shared this information with him.

Nicky’s face set into a defiant expression. “I’m going to get him out of there,” he said. “I don’t care if none of you will help me, I’m going—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” said Dan, waving her hands. “You skipped over asking us to help you and went straight to assuming we wouldn’t.”

“Oh,” said Nicky, abashed. “Will you help me save my husband?”

“We’re already breaking in to liberate one of the prisoners,” said Allison, waving a hand dismissively. “We might as well break out two.”

“Okay,” said Dan, turning back to the holographic plans. “We have a highly weaponized impenetrable base to infiltrate, two people to rescue, and less than ten arns to work out a plan. Let’s get to it.”

* * *

Neil couldn’t take it any longer. He had stayed away during the planning sessions but he couldn’t handle not knowing exactly what was happening. Once the other Neil had left in the transport pod to go get Seth out of the vault, he dropped down into command.

Katelyn jumped in startlement as he landed and gave him a reproachful glance. “What if you’d surprised me so much I fainted?” she said. “Who would have done this?”

“Tell me the plan,” he said.

She looked fiercely proud, clearly feeling happy with her own cleverness. She also looked exhausted; she hadn’t taken a break from monitoring Easthaven’s systems since she’d gained access. “Right now, Neil— or, the other Neil,” she stuttered with an apologetic grimace, “is getting his deposit back, which, if we’re lucky, should be Seth and a pile of riches.”

“Cause we’re so often lucky.”

“Hush, you,” she admonished. “Once they’re back on the ship, we have to move fast. Renee, Allison, and Jean went up the waste chutes to the generator, here—” she zoomed in on the holographic map “—once they’re in position, I’m going to open all the base’s security doors and deactivate their outer defenses. Then, Renee’ll blow the generator. After that we have approximately two hundred microts before the auxiliary power kicks in. Everyone else is up on the main level,” again, she pointed, “waiting for the power outage. They’re all equipped with night vision goggles. Their job is to take out as many guards as possible in the confusion of the power outage and then make their way into the research portion of the facility. Then they’ll split into two groups: one going after Andrew and the other going for Erik.”

“Erik?”

“Klose,” she said.

The name sounded vaguely familiar. “Nicky’s husband?”

“You knew he was married?”

Neil shrugged. “He told me once.” He did a quick mental headcount. “Aaron’s going after Andrew?”

“Yes,” she said, sounding almost defensive.

“Good,” he replied. At her questioning look, he expanded, “Other than me— and other Neil, I guess— he’s the only one who I trust to make sure Andrew comes back.” He studied the plans. “After they get Andrew and Erik, they’re heading back to the landing pad?”

“Yes, they’ll meet up with Renee’s team and Kevin will pick them up. He’s going to be circling, waiting for them.”

“What if they scramble fighters to stop them? The transport pod doesn’t have any defenses.”

“The facility only has a couple fighters,” said Katelyn, “they rely mostly on their outer guns, which Thea is going to be taking care of.”

“How?”

“I lent her the Marauder.”

“A Marauder doesn’t have firepower capable of destroying AA guns,” said Neil suspiciously.

“Mine does,” Katelyn boasted. “I’ve been upgrading it.”

“Nice,” said Neil approvingly.

“Also, once the other Neil arrives back here with Seth, he’s going to take Andrew’s Prowler out to provide additional support, since he’s the only one Andrew will let fly it… or you could, too, I suppose.”

Neil let that slide off of him. “And then we’ll starburst away?” he asked.

“Running away from whatever destruction we’ve just caused is how all of our plans end,” she pointed out.

“I wasn’t knocking it,” he said. “I approve of running away.”

She smiled but didn’t answer, her eyes running over the data streams that were hovering in midair. Neil watched her, feeling useless. It wasn’t a feeling he enjoyed. He felt fidgety as he fought the urge to run or to just _do something_.

“Here we go,” said Katelyn, straightening. “Neil and Seth are on their way back. Renee?”

“In position,” Renee whispered over comms.

“Aaron?”

“Ready.”

“M’Att?”

“Nicky and I are set.”

“Kevin?”

“Circling now, ready to provide pickup.”

“Okay,” said Katelyn, cracking her knuckles. “Let’s do it. Sixty microts and then blow it, Renee.”

“Copy.”

“Outer defenses going dark… Now,” said Katelyn, making frantic connections. “Security doors down in… three… two… one…”

Neil heard a loud explosion over the comms and then short staccato bursts of gunfire. His feet itched with the desire to move.

“Neil,” said Wymack.

“Yes, what? Something I can help with?” said Neil, far too quickly.

“The other Neil has landed the transport pod and is getting the Prowler ready to leave,” said Wymack. “Please secure the cargo from the pod before starburst.”

“On it,” said Neil, happy to be given a task. He wondered if Wymack actually needed this done or if he was somehow aware that Neil was going stir-crazy. He took off to the maintenance bay at a sprint, letting off some of his excess energy.

Seth looked frazzled and unkempt when he arrived, brushing himself off and swearing loudly. “There had better be a lot of money in these containers,” he complained. “I am _royalty_. I should not have to work this hard to get rich.”

“Then you shouldn’t have let yourself be deposed,” said Neil, heading into the transport pod to transfer the large containers. They were so heavy he needed help from the DRDs to get them onto rolling dollies. Once they were all in the maintenance bay, he picked up a crowbar. “Let’s see what you found.”

Prying off the top of the closest container, he couldn’t help letting out a little laugh. Borinium ingots filled the container to its brim.

Seth marvelled, scooting forward to look. “We’re rich! Just this one container could keep us in luxury for _years_! I _knew_ this was a good idea!”

Neil backed away from him. “Why don’t you go freshen up a little?” he suggested; the smell coming off the Hynerian was rank.

“With this money I am going to buy myself a phalanx of slaves,” declared Seth. “They will take care of my every need.”

“That sounds great,” lied Neil. “I’m going to check through the rest of the containers and then secure them. Are you going to help or go away?”

Seth narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “You’re going to take these goods for yourself,” he accused.

“They are technically _mine_ , as they came out of my vault,” Neil pointed out.

“I thought I overheard that it was your uncle’s vault.”

Neil rolled his eyes. “Fine, help me with manual labour. I don’t care.”

“Hmph,” replied Seth. “Maybe I will go clean up and nap. But don’t try anything! The DRDs have their beady little eyes on you.” He climbed into his hover chair and zipped away.

Neil moved onto the next crate, hefting his crowbar. As soon as he pried it open, he knew he was in trouble.

“Unauthorized presence detected,” said a robotic voice followed by an ominous, repetitive beep.

Neil barely had time to curse his paranoid uncle before he was thrown back by the force of an explosion, the lid of the container landing on top of him.

“Neil!” he heard Wymack call before he was enveloped in flames and darkness.

* * *

Andrew had been floating in his mind, dissociated from his bleak surroundings when all the lights went off. He’d been visiting a memory. His eidetic memory meant that he could close his eyes and revisit some of his favourites, and he’d been back in one of the only happy memories from his childhood. He’d grown up in a large, institutional facility, always surrounded by other Peacekeeper children. His dormitory had held sixteen boys; fourteen plus him and Aaron. He wondered why he and Aaron had been kept together; family connections were just as frowned upon as romantic ones. Still, he and Aaron had shared a dormitory and classes and training sessions until they’d been old enough to graduate into military training.

The first time he’d flown, Andrew knew he wanted to be a pilot. It had only been in the simulator, but he remembered the feeling of freedom and control that had come to him as he’d sat at the helm of a simulated scrub runner. He’d finished his simulator flight training in record time and would have graduated to flying actual Prowlers right away, except his feet didn’t reach the pedals yet. Instead, he’d been sent to Drake Spear’s command as a prelude to Prowler training and hadn’t been able to escape him until he reported Aaron and got promoted.

But that had all come later and wasn’t important right now. Right now, Andrew was enjoying his memory of flying for the first time. He let the then-new feeling of weightlessness and surety wash over him, let himself get lost in it. He startled when his cell was plunged into darkness. He forced himself back to the present, wondering if this was the rescue he’d been waiting for. It wasn’t long before the emergency backup power kicked in, illuminating his cell with a yellow glow. As soon as the lights were on, a repetitive warning klaxon started up. Andrew noted that his cell door was no longer closed. As he was still restrained in place, he couldn’t do much about it. He started trying to wiggle his way out of his restraints again.

He heard weapons fire in the hallway, followed by Aaron and Dan pushing their way into his cell.

“Get him,” said Dan, in her usual no-nonsense voice. Andrew was embarrassed to realize that he felt soothed and reassured by her presence. He hadn’t thought that he’d missed anyone other than Neil and maybe Aaron. “I’ll guard the door.”

Aaron fumbled with his restraints. “Frell, I can’t break this,” he muttered under his breath.

“Should have brought Neil,” said Andrew, still feeling a little detached from his surroundings. “He’s good at breaking locks.” Was he imagining this, too?

“We did,” said Aaron shortly. “He’s keeping an eye on Exy.”

“He’s also in the Prowler, shooting things,” said Dan, sounding amused. A reverberating boom sounded from above.

“He’d better not bring the whole thing down on us,” grumbled Aaron. “Hold still. I’m going to have to shoot this off.”

“Uh,” said Andrew, not liking the plan, but not having any better suggestions. He closed his eyes, deciding to trust that Aaron’s aim was as good as his own. Luckily, it was.

Andrew hauled himself to his feet, a little woozy after being restrained for so long. Aaron handed over the pulse rifle he had strapped to his back and Andrew instantly felt calmer.

“Alright,” said Dan. “We have to take a left to get out of here and then the first left. Then we’re going down a long hallway and then a right to the landing pad. I estimate there are at least twenty hostiles between here and our exit. Ready, soldier?”

Andrew snapped to attention, letting his mind relax into the blank mindset he’d had as a Peacekeeper. “Yes,” he said, forcing himself to refrain from tacking ‘sir’ onto the end. Dan would never let him live that down.

“I’m point, Aaron you’re bringing up the rear,” said Dan. “Let’s move.”

They stepped out of the cell, only to find Proust. His eyes widened in surprise when he saw them and he opened his mouth, possibly to call for the guards, but Andrew didn’t let him. He shot him, four times to ensure he was dead.

Dan exhaled noisily. “Good reflexes,” she approved. “Now, come on.”

Andrew’s world narrowed into following Dan’s lead and feeling the gun in his hands. Trusting Aaron to cover their backs, he helped Dan clear a path to the landing pad. About halfway there, they came across Nicky, M’Att, and a ragged, blond Sebacean man pinned down behind cover.

“Renee,” said Dan, tapping her communicator and crouching down beside M’Att. “Where are you?”

“At the landing pad,” replied Renee.

“We’re pinned down on the way there. Do you have anything that can help?”

Renee didn’t answer at first. “Give me a hundred microts,” she said breathlessly.

Andrew counted silently in his head, every so often shooting blindly over their cover.

“Close your eyes,” commanded Renee.

A bomb was thrown into the group of guards that was pinning them in place. Andrew was on his feet as soon as it hit, taking advantage of the confusion to take out as many of them as possible, Dan and M’Att at his side.

“Come on!” called Renee from the far end of the hallway, hefting her own weapon.

“Kevin, come get us!” called Dan, as the group of them ran for the landing pad.

“Hold on,” replied Kevin, sounding harried. “I’ve got someone on my tail.”

“On it,” said Neil. Then, “You’re clear.”

The transport pod was just setting down on the landing pad when they reached it. Its docking ramp extended. Jean and Allison stood on either side of it, shooting at the guards who were pursuing the rest of them.

“Come on, come on,” said Dan, ushering them all onto the pod.

Andrew collapsed once he got on board, exhausted from the burst of activity following his captivity.

“I’ve got them,” said Kevin. “I’m heading back to Exy. Neil, Thea, cover our retreat.”

“I can’t believe we did it,” said M’Att in wonder.

“We’re not done yet,” warned Jean.

Aaron crouched in front of Andrew. “Are you injured?” he asked in a low voice. He reached out to take Andrew’s pulse.

Andrew shook his head. “I was sedated and kept restrained but nothing else was done to me.”

“Why did he take you, then?” asked Aaron, his brow scrunched in confusion. “Why go to all the trouble of the bioloid?”

“No idea,” said Andrew. “I haven’t even seen him since the bioloid got the drop on me.”

Aaron shook his head again, but was cut off from saying anything by Renee shrieking in pain.

“Renee!” shouted Allison frantically. “What’s wrong? Where are you hurt?”

“Not… me…” Renee managed to say. “Exy… is in… so much pain.”

Aaron’s eyes widened. “Katelyn?” he asked, frantically tapping his communicator. “What’s happening?”

“I don’t know!” cried Katelyn. “Exy just rocked and the sensors are going insane and Wymack isn’t responding! I’m reading a fire in the lower tiers.”

“I have a visual,” said Kevin. “The area around the port docking bay is glowing.”

“Seal it off and expose it to vacuum,” demanded Dan.

“I don’t…”

“No,” cut in Wymack’s voice, tight with pain. “You can’t. Neil’s still in there.” Dan gasped and covered her mouth with one of her hands.

Andrew’s heart skipped a beat. He wondered if he was hallucinating, because he was pretty sure that Neil had been in his Prowler only microts previously.

“The whole area’s on fire,” said Dan. “You don’t know he’s alive.” She shot Andrew an apologetic glance. Andrew took no note of it; the feelings of numbness and surrealism had not yet left him. There was no way that Neil could be die just before their reunion.

“I don’t know that he’s not,” answered Wymack, his words syrupy and slow. “The DRDs are already suppressing the fire. I’ll open the starboard docking doors for you.”

“Can Exy starburst?” Allison whispered, cradling Renee, who was still tense with pain, and stroking a hand along her bald head. “If she’s too injured to get away…”

“We’ll figure something out,” said M’Att. “We’re not giving up on Exy and we’re not giving up on Neil.”

“I wasn’t suggesting that we should,” retorted Allison. “It’s just—”

“The DRDs have found Neil,” Wymack reported. It seemed as though everyone on the transport pod held their breath. “He is still alive, although badly injured.” There was a collective exhale of relief.

“He needs to be taken to the medical bay; give us his exact location and we’ll get him,” said Aaron, snapping into his medic role and spouting out orders. “Katelyn, get a stretcher and get down there to meet us. Neil, he’s probably going to need blood.”

“I’m right behind you,” replied Neil, his voice clear and strong.

Andrew frowned in confusion. He looked around, but no one else seemed bothered by what had just happened.

“Wait,” he said.

Dan looked over at him and grimaced. “Right,” she said stoutly. “There’s something you need to know…”

* * *

Neil looked down dispassionately at the other Neil. They were still connected by tubing, transferring his blood into his wounded double. Other Neil was covered in severe burns and he had a large gash under his ribs where he’d been skewered by metal, likely during the initial explosion.

It hadn’t been that hard to figure out what had happened: Uncle Hatford had booby trapped his valuables. Luckily, two crates of borindium ingots had survived the blast so they were still rich. Unluckily, Exy was grievously injured by the fire that had resulted from the explosion. She had managed to complete a short starburst to get them away from the shadow depository, but now they were limping along. Wymack was almost out of commission due to the amount of pain he was experiencing through his connection to Exy.

Neil wasn’t sure how other Neil had survived. By all accounts, he should have died.

Aaron had left the two of them alone. He’d gone to make sure that Erik or Andrew weren’t suffering ill-effects from their captivity. Neil wanted to track Andrew down and do his own examination; he’d glimpsed him briefly when he’d landed the Prowler, but he hadn’t had time for anything except a terse nod before heading to the medical bay.

Other Neil stirred and groaned in pain.

Neil knew what he would want to hear if he were the one waking up disoriented. “You’re safe,” he told other Neil. “You’re on Exy. You’re going to be fine.”

Other Neil blinked blearily. His eyes cleared slightly as he looked at Neil. “What happened?” he croaked.

“Hatford decided that hiding explosives in his deposits was a good idea.”

“Paranoid frelling drelk,” muttered Neil. He did a double take when he noticed the tubing that connected them. “Blood?” he asked. “It would have been easier for both of us if you’d let me die.”

“Martyr,” said Neil. Then he admitted, “I thought about it. In the end, I don’t think I could have faced the others if I hadn’t helped you.”

Other Neil closed his eyes. “I understand.”

“Of course you do,” snorted Neil. “Besides, Aaron went into scary doctor mode. I’m pretty sure he would have knocked me out and forcibly taken my blood if I didn’t agree.”

“He doesn’t like me.”

“He cares about taking care of his patients more than he dislikes us.”

“Mmm,” said other Neil, clearly drifting.

“Get some rest.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.” The words were barely a whisper as he nodded off.

Neil shook his head. “I never realized how annoying my need to argue about everything is.”

“Does that mean you’re going to stop being so contrary?” asked Andrew, leaning in the doorway of the medical bay.

Neil started. “How long have you been there?”

“Long enough,” said Andrew, pushing himself off the doorframe and walking forward. He nodded at the now-sleeping other Neil. “He okay?”

“He’ll be claiming he’s fine and irritating everyone by insisting on pretending nothing’s wrong in a couple solars.”

“That’s remarkably self-aware of you,” said Andrew.

“I’m growing as a person,” snarked Neil. He looked up as Andrew came to a stop beside where he was sitting. “How about you? Are you doing alright?”

“Fine,” said Andrew, gripping the back of Neil's neck. Neil narrowed his eyes. “I am; I’m not you. I don’t know why Proust bothered to take me. I was left alone the entire time. It was very boring.” He looked over to other Neil. “Unlike what _you_ got up to.”

“There’s no way you can blame this one on me,” protested Neil. “You think I would do this on purpose?”

Andrew only shook his head. He was quiet for long enough that Neil thought he wasn’t going to say anything else. That was perfectly fine with him; he was simply happy that Andrew was with him. He knew that he’d soon have to tell Andrew about his unexpected feelings but the existence of his duplicate complicated things.

“Thanks for coming to get me,” said Andrew, so quietly that it was barely audible.

“Always,” replied Neil.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all seem very worried for some reason ;)
> 
> Chapter warnings: loss of autonomy, major character injury, non-graphic violence

“What’s a Diagnosian?” asked Kevin, suspicious about the strangers that were going to be invited aboard Exy. Nicky’s husband Erik had told them he’d heard of nearby Diagnosians and Neil had backed him up.

“It’s like a doctor,” said Renee, patiently. “But instead of regular healing, they have different specialties. Neil says that Abby and Betsy have impeccable reputations in this area.”

“Then why didn’t we contact them when Aaron was infected?” asked Kevin peevishly.

“Well, one, we didn’t have the kind of currency they demand for their services,” said Allison, also peevishly. “And, two, that’s not what they do.”

“Abby specializes in tissue and organ replacement and Betsy specializes in ocular and brain disorders,” supplied Dan. “If Aaron needed his eye replaced or his skin regrown, we would have contacted a Diagnosian. Instead, he had a virus so we found someone who could fix that.”

“Yeah, and _that_ went so well,” griped Seth.

“He’s still alive,” said Dan. “In fact, we’re all still alive, Andrew’s not hurt, and Nicky found his long-lost husband. Once we cure Exy, we’ll actually have gained from the whole ordeal.”

“And how much do they want from us to fix her?” said Seth.

“Does it matter?” said Renee. “Whatever they want; we’ll pay it. She has been our protector, our family, our _home_. We owe her _far_ more than we can ever repay.”

“I was asking for information, not because I was going to protest against curing Exy,” said Seth. “I don’t know why you always think the worst of me.”

“Experience,” said Dan.

“How long until we get to the Palmetto system?” asked Kevin.

“Twenty arns or so,” said Renee. “Exy’s injury prevents starburst and she can’t travel at her top speeds.”

“Is there anything we can do for her until then?”

“Pray,” suggested Renee.

* * *

Kevin examined his module, looking for any damage. It had been protected from the explosion and subsequent fire by the docking bay doors so damage was unlikely but he wanted to double check. The maintenance bay and all surrounding corridors were scorched and blackened. He felt guilty for walking through the area, afraid of hurting Exy even though he knew he wasn’t. Her nerves in this area were burnt away.

After a quick survey of his module, he decided to help Neil salvage whatever he could. Almost everything was completely destroyed; he had no idea how the other Neil had survived. Pure dumb luck, he supposed. Neil kind of reminded him of a cockroach.

He and several of the others had come up with excuses to be in the maintenance bay in order to surreptitiously keep an eye on the two Diagnosians as they examined the burned, blackened bulkheads. Dan and Renee were accompanying them but Kevin still felt the need to monitor what they were doing in his home. He didn’t like entrusting Exy’s health to strangers.

Aaron stomped into the room, looking even more irritated than usual. He glanced around and sighed in exasperation as soon as he caught sight of Neil. “No, not that one,” he complained. “The burned one.”

“It’s not like these controls are intuitive,” retorted Katelyn through his communicator. “And there _are_ two of him!”

“Ask Wymack for help,” said Aaron.

“Wymack’s completely high from the numbing agent the Diagnosians applied.”

“I am not high,” came Wymack’s slurred voice. “I am in a fixed position. I have not moved at all.”

“Completely high,” repeated Katelyn.

“Are you looking for Neil?” asked Kevin.

“Clearly,” sneered Aaron. “He’s still supposed to be resting, but he disappeared from the medical bay.” He turned to the Neil who was present. “Do you _like_ being difficult?”

“What can I say?” shrugged Neil. “Being difficult puts the colour on my skin.”

“You are completely colourless, you monochromatic tralk.”

“Give him a break,” said Neil. “It’s not like he was ever allowed to be sick or injured when he was growing up. As long as he’s well enough to be up and about without collapsing, he will be.”

“He’s covered in burns that are still healing,” said Aaron, pointedly. “Burns that can easily get infected.”

“What do you mean you weren’t allowed to be sick or injured?” interrupted Kevin. “You can’t control those things. Everybody gets sick.”

“Is that so?” said Neil. “How about you Aaron? What happens when a Peacekeeper isn’t feeling well?”

“Assuming they have all their limbs, they’re shot full of stims and sent out into the field.”

“Same for me,” said Neil. “Minus the stims. There’s not a lot of downtime when you’re running from a powerful, oppressive regime.”

“Okay,” said Katelyn. “I think I’ve got it this time… wait a second, that’s strange.”

“What’s strange?” asked Aaron. When she didn’t answer right away, his voice got sharper, “What’s strange, Katelyn? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” she said. “I think this is telling me that someone’s rewiring something in the communication nexus?” Her words were uncertain.

“Why would anyone be doing that?” asked Kevin.

“No clue,” said Katelyn. “Unless it’s to send a coded message, and I can’t imagine anyone on board would want to. According to the comm locations I found, I think it’s Andrew.”

“I’ll check it out,” said Neil over comms.

“How…?” said Aaron. “Were you eavesdropping on our comms?” he asked. He turned to Neil. “Can you do that?”

Kevin glanced at the Neil beside him, who looked like he’d sucked on a lemon.

Aaron glared. “You’re supposed to be in the med bay,” he told the other Neil.

“I’m at the communication nexus already,” replied the other Neil. “I promise that I’ll go right back to the med bay afterwards.”

“Somehow I don’t believe you,” said Aaron acidly. “But, fine. Go see what my brother’s up to.”

* * *

Andrew was trapped in a nightmare. He could think of little worse than someone having complete control over him and being unable to fight against it.

It had started when he’d woken that morning; his body had started moving without any input from him. It was like he was stuck in his own mind, shouting and struggling completely fruitlessly, as his body did whatever it wanted.

_That’s right_ , whispered Proust’s voice in his mind, _you didn’t really think that I took you for_ no reason _did you?_

Andrew threw himself around whatever box Proust was keeping him in, but it made no difference. He’d watched as his body had eaten breakfast, exchanged a few words with Renee to enquire after their location and plans, and headed to the communication nexus. He watched as he started rewiring Exy to send out a coded broadband communication. He watched helplessly as Neil, the one who had been injured, came into the nexus to talk to him.

He hoped Neil would realize that it wasn’t him in control.

_I can access your thoughts_ , came Proust’s voice, _I know everything about you. I can fool one distracted Nebari. He trusts you… imagine what can I do with that?_

_Don’t you dare touch him_ , snarled Andrew. The only response he got was the impression of laughter.

“What are you doing?” asked Neil.

“Nothing important,” replied Andrew’s body. “I just need to keep my hands busy.”

Neil nodded in understanding. He sat facing away from Andrew, slightly tense like he had something on his mind. Andrew willed him to pay attention and notice that Andrew was not himself.

Instead, Andrew’s body cleared it’s throat. “I’ve gotten the gist of how you infiltrated the shadow depository,” said Proust through his mouth. Andrew could feel his anger about the way his facility had been broken into and destroyed.

_And I killed you_ , Andrew thought viciously.

_You’ll notice I’m still here_ , Proust returned triumphantly. Out loud, he continued speaking to Neil, “I wanted to ask how you tricked the bioscan?” Proust had designed the bioscan, an upstart runaway shouldn’t have been able to bluff his way through both that and the strannit.

Neil tensed even further. “I didn’t,” he said quietly.

“What do you mean?” said Proust, too sharply.

Neill looked up at him, his brow furrowing in confusion.

_That’s right, Neil_ , thought Andrew, _something is wrong. You are not speaking to me_.

Andrew could feel Proust forcibly tamp down his interest and give Neil a bland, bored look. He knew, because Andrew did, that the best way to handle Neil was to be indifferent. Andrew wasn’t sure if the emotionlessness that Neil craved had to do with his species or if it was personal preference.

Neil studied his face thoughtfully before his shoulders relaxed and he looked away again. “You know a little of my history,” he said, “but I haven’t told you everything.”

_Don’t. It’s not only me here_.

Proust went back to rewiring the communication nexus to give Neil space to confess.

“You know I left because of my father and you know I wasn’t alone at first,” said Neil haltingly. “It was my mother who took me and ran.” He shook his head. “I don’t know why she married him in the first place or why she stayed with him for so long. Her family is one of the biggest opponents to the Establishment’s regime. Maybe she was trying to infiltrate the government, or maybe she loved him once— I don’t know. She never talked about it.” He sighed and shifted a little, still looking away from Andrew who was getting increasingly desperate in his attempts to mentally urge Neil to stop talking. He didn’t know how or if Proust would use this against Neil but he didn’t want him to have the opportunity. “When we first left my father, we went to my uncle Hatford to get us off Nebari Prime. He has a whole network of contacts; he’s one of the leaders of the resistance. We could have stayed with him, but my mother didn't want to. She wanted to be far away from politics and the dangers that came with opposing the Establishment. I don’t quite understand her reasoning, it’s not like we were _safe_ on our own. My uncle’s a real ends-justify-the-means type guy. Sure, he’s working for the good of all Nebari, but he funds his operations through criminal enterprises. He wasn’t happy when my mother decided not to stay with him but he provided her instructions on how to access some of his emergency funds in case she needed to. That’s how I got into his vault at the depository.”

“And you circumvented the strannit security by serendipitously being duplicated?”

“That certainly made it easier,” said Neil wryly. “Andrew,” he said, more seriously, turning toward him again. “I’ve been alone for a long time. My mother taught me how to lie, cheat, and steal my way around the galaxy. I’ve always had and been nothing. No one’s ever given me anything until you let me stay on Exy.”

_Don’t look at me like that_ , thought Andrew angrily. Proust’s presence felt smug.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is that I know we agreed that this thing between us is nothing, means nothing,” said Neil, rubbing the back of his neck, “but as soon as I realized that it wasn’t you who returned from meeting Proust, I knew it means something to me.” He looked up at Andrew uncertainly. “I just thought you should know.”

_Idiot_ , thought Andrew. _Moron.  
_

Proust reacted smugly to the reference to the bioloid.  _That was very clever of me, wasn't it? I was planning on swapping the other Minyard but I could tell you weren't going to let him out of your sight. Good thing you're less vigilant with yourself._

Neil perched next to Andrew, his face concerned. “Andrew?”

_You knew the bioloid wasn’t_ _me_. Andrew was desperate. _Why can’t you tell_ now _?_

Proust used Andrew’s body to reach out to Neil, cupping his hands around his head and pulling him in to kiss him. “I love you,” he whispered.

_I will kill you_ , snarled Andrew. _Slowly. Painfully._

“Wait,” said Neil at Proust’s words, his eyes suddenly sharp and assessing as he finally,  _finally_ realized something was off.

He tried to pull away. Proust didn’t let him, using his hold on Neil to bash his skull into the nearest support beam. Andrew yelled soundlessly as Neil’s unconscious or possibly lifeless body slumped in his grip. He couldn’t tell if Neil was still alive as his head lolled forward.

_Hmm_ , thought Proust, cocking Andrew’s head to examine Neil as if he were a specimen, _he_ is _pretty. For a Nebari. I can understand why you want him_.

_When I get out of here…_ threatened Andrew.

_You never will. There’s nothing you can do to stop me_ , replied Proust. He licked Neil’s face and threw his unresisting form onto the floor.

Proust went back to rewiring, humming merrily and ignoring where Neil was sluggishly bleeding out on the floor. Andrew seethed in his own mind, unable to do anything. He continued to throw himself against Proust’s control, which Proust seemed to find quaint and amusing.

Aaron appeared at the nexus’ entrance. “Andrew,” he said, sounding wary. _Step closer_ , urged Andrew. From where he was he wouldn’t be able to see Neil’s body. “Are you… are you _humming_?”

Proust gazed back. _He’s looking good. Healthy_ , he told Andrew approvingly. _I saved his life, remember? Should I now take it away?_

Andrew didn’t respond, letting his simmering hatred get his message across.

To Aaron, Proust affected confusion. “Was I?” he asked. “I didn’t even notice.”

“Whatever,” sighed Aaron. “Have you seen burned Neil? He told me he was on his way here.”

“No,” said Proust, shaking Andrew’s head. “I haven’t seen him yet this solar.”

“Frelling tralk,” muttered Aaron. “Lying to me and hiding.” He turned away. “Katelyn, how much DRD control do you have?”

“Minimal,” replied Katelyn.

“Enough to help me find him?” asked Aaron, turning and leaving.

It wasn’t long after that that a DRD inquisitively rolled into the communication nexus. Proust unclipped Andrew’s pulse pistol and shot it before it could discover Neil.

_It’s lucky that your pilot is out of commission_ , thought Proust. _It would be a lot harder to escape his notice, otherwise._

He sent his message to the Command Carrier, giving them Exy’s location. He then stood, stretching out Andrew’s neck until it cracked. _You really should do something about your spinal alignment_ , he chastised. _No matter. Once I’m on a Command Carrier I can get all fixed up in medical. Until then…_

Proust prodded Neil a couple times with his foot to ensure he was still unconscious (Andrew thought he might be breathing but he couldn’t be sure) and headed down to the maintenance bay.

“Andrew, hey,” said Kevin, distractedly as Proust passed him. “Have you heard anything about this message?”

“No,” lied Proust. “What message?”

“Katelyn thinks it was meant for Ichirou,” said Kevin, focusing on what he was working on and not looking in Andrew’s direction. “Luckily she was able to scramble it a little.”

“I was in the neural cluster,” lied Proust. He sounded uninterested but Andrew could tell that he was irritated that his message had been discovered and possibly ruined. “I certainly didn’t send it.”

“I wonder who did?” said Kevin. “I can’t believe anyone on board would do it.”

“It’s a conundrum. Tell me when you figure it out.” Proust turned toward Andrew’s Prowler on the far side of the docking bay doors; the massive sliding doors stood slightly open.

“Where are you going?” asked Kevin.

“Surveillance trip in the Prowler,” replied Proust. In reality, he wanted to get off Exy before Neil was discovered.

“You can’t,” said Kevin. “Outer docking doors have to stay closed while the Diagnosians cover Exy in goo.”

Proust backtracked. “What are you talking about?”

“The goo promotes tissue regeneration,” said Kevin.

“I can’t leave?” asked Proust sharply.

“For a couple arns, at least,” said Kevin.

Andrew could feel Proust’s growing frustration as he cycled through options on what to do. _You could surrender and die_ , he offered.

A wry chuckle floated back to him.

“Hey, Kevin, I got those components safely stowed, was there anything…” non-burned Neil trailed off as he entered the maintenance bay. “Andrew,” he said, his eyes narrowing minutely, “you’re here.”

“In the flesh.”

“Where’s other Neil? Aaron’s looking for him and he keeps getting redirected to me. He’s found me three times so far and he’s getting annoyed. Or, actually, he was annoyed to begin with. He’s rapidly approaching apoplectic levels of rage.”

“I didn’t see him.”

“Is that so?” asked Neil. “Odd. He said he was going to talk to you.”

“Guess he was lying.”

“Guess so,” said Neil, his smile cruel. Andrew felt sharp relief. This Neil knew something wasn’t right. That was not the smile that Neil reserved for him and him alone. “We _are_ liars. Hey, quick question? Why is there blue blood on your boot?”

Neil whipped up his pulse pistol but Proust was waiting for him, having realized that Neil was suspicious as soon as Andrew did. Using Andrew’s knowledge and training he was faster. He leapt forward, tackling Neil to the ground and disarming him. A brutal pistol whipping knocked Neil out.

_Two for two with head trauma_ , Proust taunted.

Kevin was staring at Andrew with wide eyes, his face pale and horrified. “Andrew?” he stuttered.

Proust stood smoothly, pointing the stolen pulse pistol unwaveringly at Kevin. “This is not ideal,” he said. “It would be easiest to shoot you, but Ichirou wants you alive.”

Kevin’s face crumpled. “You’re working with him?” he asked, turning angry. “How? Why? For how long?”

“For much longer that you can possibly imagine,” said Proust, taking a few steps back. He was still running scenarios in his head, trying to decide what to do. Staying under the radar was not an option anymore. Getting off the ship and laying low in the nearby asteroid field while he waited for the Peacekeepers to respond to his message was probably the best bet.

“But…” said Kevin, his brain clearly stalled in shock at Andrew’s actions, “that doesn’t make any sense!”

“You really are a precious idiot, aren’t you, Commander Day?” sneered Proust.

“No,” said Kevin stubbornly. “This isn’t you. It… Proust must have done something to you when he had you.”

“Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner,” said Proust. “Your precious Andrew is gone. Dead. He’s not coming back.”

Kevin looked like he’d been sucker punched. “No…” he said, pained. “I don’t believe you.”

Proust shrugged one shoulder. “Believe what you want. It won’t change anything.” He kept moving backwards until he reached the control panel for the maintenance bay doors. Pressing the button to manually close them, he stepped through the giant sliding doors as they began to close.

“Wait, where are you going?” asked Kevin, panicked.

“I’m taking the Prowler for a fly.”

“I already told you that you _can’t_.”

“The Prowler has weapons, doesn’t it?” said Proust carelessly. “I can shoot my way out.”

Kevin lunged forward and grabbed Andrew’s shirt, trying to pull him through the doors before they closed. “No,” he said through gritted teeth. “I won’t let you hurt Exy.”

Proust planted Andrew’s muscle-dense body in place and aimed his gun at Kevin’s head. “Let go,” he said, the exertion of staying in place showing in his voice. The heavy doors slid closer.

Kevin didn’t answer; he simply pulled harder. Proust cocked his gun. “You said Ichirou wants what’s in my head,” said Kevin, his voice shaking. “He'll be angry if you splat my brains all over the maintenance bay.”

“Let go!” said Proust more urgently. Kevin had managed to pull him directly into the path of the doors which were now less than an arm’s length away. They would surely crush him and Andrew to death. Andrew steeled himself. He didn’t particularly want to die, he had promises to keep and reasons to stay alive, but death was preferable to living without autonomy, trapped in his own mind as Proust did what he wanted with his body.

Just as the doors were about to snap closed and squash him, panic gave Proust a surge of adrenaline to pull back. Kevin still had a grip on him; his arm was caught between the two doors as they slammed together. Andrew could hear his agonized screams through the thick metal.

There was a brief pause. Proust panted heavily in exertion and leftover adrenaline for a couple microts before the doors started to open.

Dan and Renee were waiting on the other side, weapons pointing directly at Andrew. Kevin lay whimpering on the floor, clutching his bloody, mangled left arm.

Proust focused on Renee, knowing that despite appearances she was the more dangerous of the two. “Pa’u,” he said, dipping Andrew’s head in greeting. “We have not met but Officer Minyard’s memories have taught me quite a lot about you.”

Dan’s face was angry and set. “Let him go,” she said forcefully.

“No,” said Proust. He then laughed, the sound strange coming from Andrew’s throat. “Are you going to shoot me, brave Danala?” he taunted. “One of your own? How can you hurt me without hurting him?”

“I won’t ask you again.”

“Already, three of the people you want to protect are injured or dead,” said Proust. He lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “I’m not sure both Neils are still alive.” Andrew could feel his face stretch into a wide grin.

Dan looked sick. “Andrew would rather die than hurt the people he cares for,” she said. “I’ll kill you to stop you from using him against his will.” Andrew felt oddly touched; he hadn’t been aware that she knew him so well.

“You can’t hurt me,” replied Proust. “You care too much about him.”

“That may be true,” said Renee, calmly. “Fortunately, we don’t have to. We only had to distract you for long enough.”

“What—” said Proust, whirling around, only to find M’Att had approached from his blind side. He used his Luxan whip-like, sedative-barbed tongue to knock Andrew unconscious.

_They’d better kill me before I wake up_ , was the last thought he had before he passed out.

* * *

Andrew woke gradually, swimming back to consciousness. Apparently his idiot crewmates hadn’t recognized a threat and had decided to keep him alive. Proust seemed to be gone for the moment, or at least settled back to wherever he’d been before he’d taken over Andrew’s body. Andrew was able to wiggle his toes under his own volition and move his head. The restraints kept him from moving much else.

He wasn’t particularly happy about waking up restrained to a flat surface but it was much preferable to watching as his body was made to do things against his will. That thought brought with it the memories of injuring Kevin and both Neils and he forced his eyes open.

He did not recognize the room he was in; it was white and sterile-looking. It was also very cold. It reminded him of an institutional medical bay, like the one where they’d found Neil’s body on Kevin’s fake Earth. He forced his thoughts away from that, not wanting to remember how Neil had looked.

He was not alone: Allison, wearing a large, animal-furred cloak, was wandering around looking bored and poking at various items that lay around the room. Renee sat by Andrew’s side, her eyes following Allison.

Andrew’s made a noise and she turned to look at him. “Neil?” he asked, his voice raspy.

Allison turned from her promenade. “You managed to give them both concussions when you caved their skulls in, but they’re both alive. The burned one’s still comatose but Aaron says he’ll be fine eventually.” Her tone was nasty but her words filled Andrew’s chest with warm relief. He closed his eyes briefly, grateful that Proust hadn’t managed to kill either of them. The fact that there were currently two Neils was something he’d been trying not to think about or deal with. Despite the fact that things would be simpler if one of them had died, the very thought left him nauseated. From his interactions with them it appeared that they were both Neil, meaning he would protect them both.

“Kevin?”

“His arm is—” started Allison, before cutting herself off. “Do you even care?”

“I’m myself again.”

“Which is exactly what an evil chip controlling your brain would say,” said Allison.

“Chip?” echoed Andrew.

“You were examined by one of the Diagnosians, Betsy, while you were unconscious,” said Renee gently. “Scans only,” she reassured when Andrew sent her a flat look. “She discovered that you have a neurochip in your brain; very advanced, very hard to detect. She doubts that without her resources and expertise that anyone could have found what Proust did to you.”

“Did she fix it?” he asked.

“Not yet,” said Renee. “It requires invasive brain surgery to remove and for that she needs your consent. We brought you down to the Diagnosians’ facility on Palmetto so she could temporarily deactivate it.”

“And Kevin?” asked Andrew, wanting to know how badly he’d been hurt. It rankled that he hadn’t been able to protect him, that it had been his body that caused him harm.

“His forearm was crushed and had to be amputated,” said Allison. “Luckily, we’re hanging out with a couple Diagnosians. Abby is crafting him a new arm.”

“Do we have enough currency for all this?” asked Andrew. “Between Exy, me, Kevin—”

“And burned Neil needs tissue grafts,” added Allison. “And yes. But it’s going to take almost all the ingots we stole. We can no longer retire in luxury.”

“Should have just killed me when you had a chance.”

“I still can,” said Allison. “It’s not like you’re in a position to stop me.”

“Allison,” admonished Renee.

Allison ignored her. “I advocated for killing you when you were unconscious, because it seemed like Andrew Minyard was gone, not that I care about him anyway. And I tried to stop Renee from joining her mind to yours to figure out what happened. But now we know what’s going on and how to fix it, so we’re going to because you’re a member of the crew, no matter how much I don’t like you. And there’s no way I’m putting up with Neil’s sad eyes if I kill you, especially in stereo.” She gave him a challenging look. “Besides, if you’re that keen to die you might get lucky and die during the surgery. It’s pretty high risk.”

“That’s not how I usually inform my patients about the risks involved in their treatments,” said a soft voice from the room’s entrance. This must be Betsy. The Diagnosian’s footsteps were light as she crossed the floor. She was a species he wasn’t familiar with, short and squat with white, almost translucent skin. “Officer Minyard,” she said when she was standing beside his head, looking down. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“I would prefer different circumstances.”

Her laugh was a trill. “Of course,” she agreed. “That’s understandable.”

“You want to dig through my brain.”

“I want to remove the abomination that the butcher Proust put into it,” corrected Betsy.

“Go ahead.”

“There are risks,” she cautioned.

“Yeah, I heard. I’d rather die than keep it in my brain.”

“The chip is located close to your memory centres. Severing its connection may permanently damage your memory.”

Loss of memory made him think of Nebari mind cleanses. He turned to Renee. “I want to see Neil.”

She looked apologetic. “He can’t enter atmosphere until his skull fracture is healed.”

“Either of them,” said Allison. “You really had an urge to give him brain damage, huh?”

Andrew closed his eyes at the reminder.

“That wasn’t Andrew; it was Proust,” said Renee. “I could tell.”

“When you went into my head? Joined our minds?” asked Andrew. He didn’t like the invasion of privacy, especially after what Proust had done.

“I would never have done it without asking but we needed to know if there was any hope for you,” said Renee steadily.

“You should be thanking her,” said Allison angrily. “She could have been hurt by that madman in your brain.”

“You should have shot me,” said Andrew. “I almost killed Neil and Kevin; I gave away our location to Ichirou.”

“Katelyn recognized the encryption on the outgoing message and scrambled it as best she could,” said Renee.

“But as far as we know, a Command Carrier is on its way here,” guessed Andrew. “How soon until Exy can starburst?”

“Not for another couple solars,” said Renee. “The treatment is working, but she is still in too much pain. She retreated into the nearby asteroid field for cover in case any Peacekeepers show up. Don’t worry. We have everything under control.”

“The only loose thread is the chip in my head?” said Andrew wryly. “Fine. Renee, if this doesn’t work, tell Neil…” he trailed off. There were many things he wanted to tell Neil but none that he wanted to relay through someone else. “Tell Neil it wasn’t nothing.” He took a deep breath. “Okay, doc,” he said to Betsy. “I guess you’d better try to get it out. Careful with your fingers in my brain. There are certain things I don’t want to forget.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains minor body horror, referenced brain surgery, referenced past noncon, murder and mercy killing. As always, if you have any questions, let me know!
> 
> Thank you everyone who is following along with the story and commenting; I love you guys.

Kevin dutifully followed along as Abby showed him exercises to get used to his new arm. It attached just above his elbow where the amputation had occurred. Although it looked like flesh and blood, it felt clunky and wrong. It was made of metal, some light alloy that he’d never heard of, and covered with his own skin that Abby had grown in her lab. The join above his elbow wasn’t seamless; it looked like he was wearing a metal cuff around his bicep. He could move the arm, but the movement didn’t feel natural. It was still painful but Abby assured him that what he was feeling were only phantom pains that would disappear as soon as he got used to it.

The arm was amazing and, despite living on a spaceship with aliens for over a year, he thought it might be the most sci-fi thing that had ever happened to him. Even if he ever did get back to Earth (something which he had not quite given up hope on) he would be forever marked. His arm would always be different. He was grateful that he’d been given a replacement but he couldn’t help but wish that he still had his original arm.

He wasn’t sure who he should blame for what had happened. He couldn’t blame Andrew; intellectually he knew that Andrew had no control over his actions, but he was still having trouble reconciling himself to the memory of Andrew attacking Neil and laughing about it.

“Like this,” said Abby, getting his attention back and showing him a rotating motion with his wrist. He copied her, although his movement was stiff and unnatural. “It will get better,” she promised. “Just keep practising.” She patted his shoulder and left, probably off to check the progress of Exy’s healing or on burned Neil’s tissue grafts.

Thea came into his quarters as Abby exited; the timing of her entrance made it clear that she’d been waiting out in the corridor.

“I’m left handed,” he told her mournfully, looking down at his hands. They looked the same, despite the fact that he knew they weren’t.

“You’re still left handed,” she replied, her tone no-nonsense. He was quickly learning that she had very little patience for self-pity. “That arm will probably eventually be better than any biological arm could be.”

“It doesn’t feel like mine.”

“Not yet,” she said. “You’ll get there.”

“But—”

“Kevin,” she cut him off. “I’m not a naturally sympathetic person. I don’t want to tell you to quit whining but I will if you don’t stop feeling sorry for yourself. You did what you had to do to stop Proust from blowing a hole in Exy. You did good, okay? I’m sorry this happened but you have to suck it up because we have bigger problems right now.”

Kevin’s attention focused. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “What happened?”

“Wymack’s still a little fuzzy from the numbing agent but he says Exy’s sensors have picked up a vessel entering the system. It looks like the Peacekeepers have answered Proust’s call.”

* * *

“It’s a Marauder,” said Dan after they’d all gathered in command. Renee, Allison, and Andrew, were absent as they were on Palmetto’s surface for Andrew’s chip-removal surgery. The rest of them were there, except for Katelyn who was still helping Wymack in his den (although they were both connected by holoclam) and burned Neil, who had woken from his coma but was still confined to the medical bay. Neil was glad for his absence; it was still too weird to be in the same place as other Neil. His own head was still aching from Proust’s attack but he was finally allowed to be up and about. He wanted to go down to Abby and Betsy’s facility on the planet in order to see Andrew but his injury made it impossible.

Communications with Renee and Allison were patchy due to the asteroid field but they’d reported that Andrew had agreed to the surgery. Neil didn’t trust that everything was fine until he could set his own two eyes upon him. There was a chance of memory loss; the thought filled Neil with horror. When he finally got him back, will Andrew have forgotten him?

He felt the familiar curl of anger for his counterpart not realizing that Andrew wasn’t Andrew as soon as he’d seen him. He’d managed to notice that something wasn’t right; obviously the other Neil was defective and inferior. It was easier to be angry at him than at Andrew or himself for failing to consider that Proust had done something to Andrew while he’d had him in his clutches. He shook his head, not wanting to think about it.

“They only sent one Marauder?” asked Aaron.

“Like the one we have?” inquired Nicky.

“Not _quite_ like the one we have,” said Katelyn archly. “Ours has had a few… upgrades.”

“Technically, they sent two Marauders,” said Dan. “One’s headed to Palmetto.”

Jean paled. “Allison and Renee are down there.”

“And Andrew,” said Neil, scowling.

Dan shrugged apologetically. “There’s not much we can do about it. We don’t know if this is an advance party, or scout ships, or a coincidence.”

“It’s not a coincidence,” said Neil.

“I guess scout ships,” said Katelyn. “I did manage to scramble Andr— Proust’s message. It was likely not completely clear when Ichirou received it so I’d guess the Marauders were sent to investigate.”

“It’ll be a couple teams of commandos,” said Aaron. “Like the one I was with when I first came aboard.”

“There were only four of you,” said M’Att. “We could take on four commandos.”

“We’d lost two in our attempts to capture the Intellant virus,” said Aaron, “and we’d been out there for almost half a cycle. We were all tired. Ichirou would send a full complement of eight; they’ll be rested and ready to go.”

“Great,” sighed Dan. “Any ideas? Exy still needs a solar or three before she can starburst.”

Aaron’s face took on a look of distaste. “I have an idea but I don’t like it.”

“That’s our catchphrase,” said Nicky.

“Ichirou wants Neil, right?” said Aaron.

Neil gave him a flat look. “Talk quickly before I decide you’re a threat.”

Aaron rolled his eyes. “I just saved your life— _both_ your lives— why would I kill you now?”

“You saving _my_ life is a little questionable.”

“Shut up, Neil,” said Dan. “What are you thinking, Aaron?”

“Well, as far as they know, Proust has taken control of Andrew, right? And I happen to look quite a lot like Andrew…”

* * *

It wasn’t until after Andrew had agreed to the chip-removal surgery that Betsy had actually told him what was going to happen. He’d been under the assumption that he’d be heavily sedated (not that he wanted to be; he hated being vulnerable and at the mercy of other people) during the surgery and he’d wake up fixed or brain damaged or dead.

Not so. Betsy explained that he had to be awake while she poked around in his brain; she needed him to tell her what memory areas she was accessing. She had no other way to know how important the different memories were to him or which ones he was willing to lose if necessary.

“I usually know people better before I let them stick their fingers inside me,” he told her, to distract himself from what was happening.

She smiled wanly, but most of her attention was on what she was doing, which he supposed was a good thing.

“What’s this?” she asked, stimulating a certain portion of his brain.

His mind flashed with memories: pictures and knowledge about different species.

“Aliens,” he grunted. “Keep it if you can; it’s useful to know who’s who.”

“And this?”

“Uh,” he said, trying to make sense out of what he was remembering. “My former dormmates’ likes and dislikes. Lose it.” He was never going to see any of those people again; he hadn’t seen most of them since he’d started military training. He had no need to keep useless information about them clogging up his brain.

“How are you doing?” Betsy checked in with him.

“Just get it over with.”

Betsy hummed, prodding something in his brain and he was assaulted with memories of Commander Spear. The times he’d been ordered to his bed, the numerous indignities he had been made to suffer. He breathed in sharply. This was not something he enjoyed remembering but these events had shaped him into the person he was.

“I…” he said, unsure of what to say. It’s not like he _wanted_ these memories but it was important to know what he’d overcome.

“This memory centre is connected to many others,” said Betsy, gently. “Even if I damage it, you’ll be aware these things happened. You just won’t remember the particulars.”

“Then scrap it,” said Andrew forcefully. He would be happy not to have to relive these memories ever again.

“And this?”

“Flying,” said Andrew, concentrating. “Keep it, it’s important.”

“I’m getting closer,” said Betsy. “Only a couple more areas to bypass before I can begin removing the chip. What’s this?”

He saw flashes of his crewmates on Exy and of the few people he had liked when he was still a Peacekeeper.

“My friends. Keep.”

The next memory was of something he’d almost forgotten: when he’d been living in the dorms growing up, he had found a small rodent living in the walls. He’d fed the thing even though it was vermin and talked to it sometimes.

“Ratty,” said Andrew, surprising himself by sounding fond. “My childhood pet.”

“Essential?” asked Betsy.

“No,” admitted Andrew. “But keep it if you can.”

“One more,” said Betsy as Neil flooded Andrew’s mind. Neil lying underneath him, looking coy on the first day they’d met; Neil grinning at him conspiratorially; Neil dying in gunfire on the weird unrealized reality version of Exy; their first kiss on the broken transport pod; their second kiss in the neural cluster; Neil baring his throat when asking Andrew if he would let him stay; burned Neil avoiding eye contact as he told Andrew secrets about his past; Neil, Neil, Neil.

He hadn’t realized how far Neil had wormed his way under his skin. It was dangerous to be so attached to someone that merely thinking of him could leave him breathless. He could stop it; it would be so easy. He could tell Betsy that he didn’t need these memories, that he didn’t need to remember his feelings for Neil. It would be safer.

“I don’t care about those memories,” he said unconvincingly. Betsy’s smile was a little too knowing for his liking. “But if you damage them, I will gut you.”

* * *

“You know they might shoot you as soon as you get there?” asked M’Att, hovering.

“Ichirou wanted me alive before,” shrugged Neil, letting Aaron cuff him. It took all his discipline to hold still without struggling or kicking Aaron in the groin. He didn’t need to make Aaron like him _less_.

“You don’t know that he still does,” said M’Att, wringing his hands in his worry. “This plan needlessly puts you at risk.”

“I agreed to do it,” Neil pointed out.

“Yeah, well, you’ve been acting reckless ever since Andrew got captured.”

“It’s not like you don’t have another copy,” said Neil irritably.

“That doesn’t make you disposable!” argued M’Att, close to shouting.

“If you’re quite finished,” drawled Aaron. “We shouldn’t waste time. The Marauder will find us soon; its search pattern practically guarantees it.”

“You be careful, too,” said M’Att gruffly.

“It’s not like you don’t have another copy,” echoed Aaron.

Neil snorted. “You are _nothing_ like Andrew.”

“I know you mean that as an insult but I’m going to take it as a compliment.”

“You wish.”

“Are you going to bicker all the way there?” asked M’Att, now sounding amused.

“Probably,” admitted Neil.

“Come on,” said Aaron. “Get in the Prowler.”

“Who’s going to break it to Andrew that you stole his ride?” asked M’Att. “Not me.”

“Neil will, of course,” said Aaron.

“Will I?” said Neil dryly.

“You will,” affirmed Aaron. “You have the disruptor?”

“Of course I do,” said Neil testily. “What would be the point of going if I didn’t?”

“Alright, let’s go.”

“Be careful,” said M’Att. “None of us are willing to tell Andrew if anything happens to you. Either of you.”

Aaron didn’t answer as he closed the Prowler. He carefully piloted it out of Exy’s docking bay, his movements very precise.

Neil was suspicious. “You _have_ flown a Prowler before, haven’t you?”

“Not… exactly,” said Aaron, sounding strained. “I’ve used the simulator!” he added defensively before Neil could get a word in. “So be quiet so I can concentrate and avoid flying into an asteroid.”

“You should have let me fly,” muttered Neil.

“Which wouldn’t have been suspicious at all,” replied Aaron. “Since Peacekeepers usually let our prisoners pilot our ships.”

“Careful!” hissed Neil, as they drifted too close for comfort to an asteroid. He decided to be quiet after that, letting Aaron focus.

Finding the Marauder was not difficult: it was following the precise Peacekeeper star crosshatch search pattern. Aaron radioed them to let them know he was coming aboard with a hostage. They were met at the airlock by four heavily-armed commandos.

“Minyard?” asked one of them, the leader.

“Not exactly,” said Aaron. Neil could tell that he was fighting his ingrained instinct to defer to a commanding officer. Aaron had asked Neil, Kevin, and everyone else who had interacted with Proust how he’d acted in order to ape his mannerisms. He wasn’t much of an actor; to Neil’s eyes he seemed to be acting like a slightly-more-irritated-than-usual Aaron. “My name is Proust; perhaps you have heard of me?”

The Peacekeeper commander gave him a look of distaste. “We were told to expect you, yes,” he admitted. “What have you done to Minyard?”

“He was marked for decommission, wasn’t he?” said Aaron. “His life was forfeit and therefore he didn't need his body any longer. I simply… repurposed it for my use.”

Neil could tell that the Peacekeepers didn’t like that, didn’t like the thought of aliens among them that were indistinguishable from Sebaceans. They had very little say in the manner, since Ichirou was issuing the commands.

“And who’s this?” said the commander, changing the subject. He looked down his nose as Neil, seemingly bringing forth all the hatred of aliens that he couldn’t show Aaron.

“This is the Nebari spy that Ichirou wants,” said Aaron.

“I thought the alien he wanted was virtually indistinguishable from a Sebacean?” asked the commander, again wrinkling his nose in disgust.

“He’s still on the Leviathan,” said Aaron. “I wasn’t able to bring him with me; he doesn’t trust this body to the same extent that this foolish Nebari does.”

Neil glared and spat at Aaron’s feet. Aaron backhanded him, sending him tumbling to the floor. He rolled until he was propped against the bulkhead. Unseen by the surrounding Peacekeepers, he took out the disruptor— a small electronic device that Katelyn had designed to control all the systems on board the Marauder. He stuck the disruptor to the bottom of the bulkhead, hoping that it would work as advertised.

Aaron kicked him in the ribs, although he pulled it so it hurt much less than it should have. He hauled Neil to his feet and pushed him away from the other Peacekeepers who had stepped forward to help.

“Tralk,” said Aaron, wiping his mouth. “Learn your place.”

“Below the Sebaceans?” asked Neil wryly. “Are _all_ aliens below Sebaceans? Even, say, Saltici?”

Aaron’s eyes narrowed— Neil wasn’t sure if he was pretending to be annoyed or channelling his usual feelings for Neil— and he raised his hand again. Neil couldn’t help his flinch but the blow never came.

“Enough,” said the commander. “We’re here for the Leviathan and its passengers. Your pointless displays can wait until we have it.”

“Of course,” said Aaron obsequiously. “The Leviathan is damaged. It can’t currently starburst. We can board it and take control.”

The commander wiped his brow, having already begun to sweat. “Easy enough.”

“Not quite as easy as all that,” said Aaron. “They have a working DS and they won’t drop it or open the docking doors for you.”

“We’ll call the Command Carrier. Their DS can’t be a match for its firepower.”

“The Command Carrier also won’t be able to navigate the asteroid field,” said Aaron. “Be smart about this. I have a plan.”

“Of course you do,” sighed the commander. “You think very highly of yourself, don’t you?”

“I only give myself the credit I deserve.”

“Well? Get on with it? What’s your plan?”

“They have no reason to suspect me yet. I’ll go back and shut down the DS for you.”

“We’re just supposed to trust you?”

“I brought you a prisoner as a show of good faith,” said Aaron, nodding to Neil.

“Won’t they notice he’s missing?”

“I told them I was taking him down to the Diagnosians’ facility on the planet; they’re not expecting him back any time soon.”

“Hmm,” said the commander. “It has potential.”

“Excellent,” said Aaron. “I’ll contact you when it’s done.” He pushed Neil toward the nearest commando. “Deal with this filth, won’t you?”

“Search him and secure him in the hold,” said the commander. His cheeks were now flushed. He nodded to Aaron. “We’ll follow you at a distance, staying out of their sensor range.”

Neil was manhandled none-too-gently down the corridor and up a level into a tiny, dark room. Once he was locked inside, he made quick work of removing his handcuffs and figuring a way out of the cell. All he had to do now was wait.

* * *

There were some slightly alarming snipping noises coming from above him. Or, thought Andrew, from _inside his head_. He tried not to think about it. Panicking wasn’t going to make anything better. In fact, it would probably make everything a whole lot worse. Not that it could get much worse.

He soon found out that was a stupid thing to think. Renee knocked perfunctorily on the examination room door as she entered.

“Stay back,” warned Betsy. “Everything the green light touches is a sterile area that we can’t risk you contaminating.”

“Are you finished?” asked Renee, sounding strained.

“I almost have it; I’m taking care not to damage his language centres.”

“I would appreciate if you continued being careful,” said Andrew, focusing on keeping himself as still as possible. Not that he could actually move all that much, given the paralytic that Betsy had administered before she started. It was starting to wear off a little; there was almost imperceptible tingling in his fingers and toes. “What’s wrong?” he asked Renee.

“Nothing for you to worry about.”

“I thought we had a talk about lying to me for my own good?” said Andrew. He’d made her promise not to lie to him again after she hadn’t told him that Neil had been captured and held by the Peacekeepers at the Gammak base.

“I’ll take care of it.”

“Tell me what it is.”

“Tell him,” said Betsy. “I don’t want him worked up. This next bit requires precision and focus.”

“Then my news won’t help,” said Renee, before relenting. “Peacekeeper Marauders have entered the system. One of them is searching the asteroid field while the other is heading on an intercept course with this facility. They’ll be here in less than a quarter arn.”

Renee was right. The news didn’t help relax him at all. “I need a weapon.”

“You are temporarily paralyzed; what good will that do?” asked Betsy.

“I’m not going to die helpless, strapped to some table. Put a pulse pistol in my hand.”

He couldn’t see Renee but he could practically hear her indecision. He didn’t want to beg, didn’t want to say the word that Spear had delighted in pulling from his lips ( _please, sir_ , he’d made him say. _Please, I want more_ ) but he also wasn’t going to die without a gun in his hand. Andrew paused. He knew that Spear had once made him say these things, he knew he had good reason for disliking the word ‘please’ but he didn’t have a single clear memory of it ever happening. He would never have to relive it again; Betsy had taken it from him.

It was like a weight lifted from his chest. He wasn’t about to die now. “Renee… I need a gun.”

“Alright,” sighed Renee. “But you won’t have to use it. I’ll take care of them. Allison and I have a plan.”

* * *

It was almost unbearably hot on board the Marauder when Neil let himself out of the small room where he’d been locked. The temperature had risen much faster than he’d anticipated once his disruptor had disabled the cooling systems. The Peacekeepers must almost be succumbing to heat delirium by now.

He crept down the hallway, cautious in case anyone was around and coherent. The first commando he came across had stripped down to her under-armour. She was propped up against the bulkhead, her skin dry but flushed. He didn’t spare any pity for her predicament. He relieved her of her sidearm as she looked up at him with fever-bright eyes that didn’t seem to see him.

An old memory struck him, leaving him short of breath. His mother, dying from some internal injury that she’d incurred from a shady group of smugglers that had been angry when they’d found Neil and his mother had stiffed them on the payment they owed for passage. They’d gotten away but she’d been irreparably injured. Neil had a limited knowledge of first aid but no matter what he did she kept coughing up blood, the blue staining her chin and the front of her shirt, as her eyes got glassier and glassier. For the last half arn, she spoke nonsense to people who weren’t there: Uncle Hatford, her own mother and father, a Neil who was still a child.

He’d mopped her brow and stayed with her, knowing that her end was near. He wasn’t expecting her to gain awareness of her surroundings before the end but she’d gripped his arm and stared directly at him.

“Abram,” she’d said, using his real name that she hadn’t dared speak out loud for cycles. “Do it.”

All he could do was shake his head wordlessly as she’d pressed her pulse pistol into his hands.

“Promise me,” she’d rasped. “Never slow down, never look back, never trust anybody. Promise.”

He’d dutifully repeated the words. She’d nodded thankfully and brought the gun in his hands up to her head. “Please,” she’d whispered, barely moving her blood-stained lips.

He’d closed his eyes and fired, granting an end to her misery.

The Peacekeeper looked up at him without comprehension, her eyes dull with pain. Heat delirium was an awful fate. Neil straightened. He’d been the one to put this woman through this torture and he was the one who could end it. He fired, once, directly between her eyes. She slumped to the floor and he headed to command, not looking back.

There were two more Peacekeepers laying in the small cabin where the Marauder’s main flight controls were located, one of them the commander. He could see the remnants of their frantic yet fruitless attempts to decrease the temperature on the control panels. Neil killed them both and took their ident chips. Using the commander’s ident chip, he accessed their data spools, sending all the data to Exy using a secure communication line. That accomplished, he set the Marauder on an intercept course with a large asteroid and booked it down to the airlock.

Two of the EVA suits were small enough to fit him. He pulled one on, stepped into the airlock, and ejected himself from the ship. Free floating in space, he watched as the Marauder lazily flew into the asteroid and exploded.

“Wymack?” he said. “I’m ready for a pick up.”

* * *

“Got it,” said Betsy, breathing out in relief. “Still feeling alright? Say something.”

“Something,” replied Andrew.

“I see your sense of humour is intact,” she said. “What is my profession?”

“Diagnosian.”

“And what species is Neil?”

“Nebari,” said Andrew. “I remember.”

“Good,” she replied. “I wouldn’t want to be gutted.”

“It would be awkward, is all,” said Andrew, to justify his earlier words. “If I forgot him.”

“As awkward as having two of him around?”

Andrew didn’t rise to the bait. He was still not ready to think about the consequences of Neil’s doubling accident. “You’re not my therapist,” he said instead.

“Thank the Maker for that,” she laughed. “Alright, I’ll just finish up—”

She was cut off by the door slamming open. An authoritative male voice, speaking in the common Peacekeeper tongue, rang out, “Step away from the table and put your hands up,” he said. “Your facility is now under my control.”

Andrew tried to raise the gun in his hand, focusing all his energy on just getting his stupid numb hand to obey him to no avail.

Betsy made a frightened noise and backed away. Andrew cursed Renee; she said she would handle this. The tingling in his hand intensified as he tried to make a fist, to do something, _anything_.

“If you are here for a consult, I would appreciate if you waited in the reception area,” said Betsy.

“Be quiet, tralk,” replied the Peacekeeper. Andrew could hear his sneer in his words.

“It’s just that I wouldn’t want the security system to think you are intruders,” said Betsy, emphasizing the last word. As soon as she spoke it, turrets— recessed into the walls so Andrew hadn’t seen them— started firing.

“He should have listened,” said Betsy mercilessly, stepping back into Andrew’s view. “You didn’t really think I’d leave you completely vulnerable, did you?”

A couple hundred microts later, Allison burst into the room, panting heavily, indicating that she’d been running. Andrew could hear her stumble to a stop, then step over the body on the floor. “We got all but this one,” she reported, grunting as it sounded like she kicked him. “Most of them followed me directly into a trap where Renee was waiting for them, but this one got away.”

“We noticed,” said Betsy, sounding amused. “Don’t worry. I’m more dangerous than I look.”

* * *

Andrew knew he should be resting as he’d just undergone brain surgery but Katelyn had analyzed the data stolen from the Marauder and called them all to an emergency meeting. It felt good to be back on board; it felt safe. Exy was almost healed and the Diagnosians, finished with their work, had returned to Palmetto, leaving only Exy’s normal crewmates aboard. Well, almost only the normal crewmates. There was the new Sebacean who Andrew had learned was Nicky’s husband. He would have been suspicious at the coincidence but he was too tired to care. Also, he wasn’t about to jeopardize Nicky’s obvious happiness.

Both Neils were present, although they were sitting far away from each other and from Andrew. The latter seemed to be some kind of compromise between the two of them as they’d both started toward him when he’d arrived, only to catch each other’s eyes and back away. They were both looking much better— the burn scars on burned Neil appeared almost healed, thanks to Abby.

Andrew avoided looking at either of them, or at Kevin, who was opening and closing his left fist and watching it with a detached expression. He knew it hadn’t been him who’d attacked them, that it was Proust, but he could still clearly remember the crack that Neil’s skull had made when he’d hit him.

“Moriyama’s sent genetic hunters after us,” said Katelyn without preamble.

Erik paled and Nicky shuddered.

“We already knew the Peacekeepers were after us,” said Dan.

“This is different,” said Katelyn. “Genetic hunters can track Sebaceans across light-cycles. There’s no escaping them for long.”

“Again, didn’t we already know this was happening?” asked M’Att.

“They threatened that they would,” said Katelyn, “but now it’s been confirmed.”

“I assume you have a plan and you haven’t just called us here for fear mongering,” drawled Allison.

“The commandos on the Marauders weren’t genetic hunters but they were in contact with them,” said Katelyn. “Sifting through their communications, I found their transponder signal.”

“Meaning?” said Seth idly.

“Meaning they can’t disguise themselves and we have an idea of their location,” said Andrew, as he abruptly understood what her plan must be. “You want us to be bait.”

Katelyn nodded. “Lure them in and take them out.”

“Exy’s still recovering and you want to take her into danger?” asked Dan hotly.

“No,” said Aaron. “We can’t risk the Peacekeepers getting what they want if we fail.”

“What do they want?” asked Nicky.

“Kevin,” said both Neils. After a quick glance, the burned one continued, “The Moriyamas want Kevin, remember?”

“What are you suggesting?” asked M’Att.

“We split up,” said Katelyn. “The genetic hunters will have no way to find Exy if no one with Sebacean DNA is on board.”

There was a brief silence before several voices started clamouring all at once.

“I didn’t say we split up _forever_ ,” cut in Katelyn, past all the loud objections. “Just that me, Aaron, Andrew, Nicky, and Erik head out in the Marauder and hunt the hunters.”

“And me,” said both Neils at once.

“And _one_ of you,” allowed Katelyn. “Otherwise it’s just too confusing.”

“It should be Burny over there,” said Aaron, jerking his thumb toward the Neil in question. “I want to keep an eye on his recovery.”

“Nice,” snorted burned Neil but his expression was mollified.

The other Neil pressed his lips into a thin line but didn’t argue. Andrew knew it would be easier with only one Neil around, but he couldn’t help the pang he felt at being separated from one of them. They were both Neil which meant they were both his, and he needed to protect them.

“We’ll arrange to meet back here in the Palmetto system in a quarter cycle,” said Katelyn. “And if one of us misses the rendezvous, then again a quarter cycle after that.”

“And what do you expect _us_ to do?” said Allison. “Fly around in circles waiting for you to come back?”

“Flying around aimlessly isn’t that much different from what we normally do,” M’Att pointed out.

“You should head to where the hunters will never look for you,” said Katelyn.

“And where’s that?” asked Dan.

“Sebacean space,” said Katelyn. “Genetic hunters are useless in heavily Sebacean areas; therefore, they avoid them.”

“I thought we were staying _out_ of Peacekeeper space?” said Kevin.

“I said Sebacean space, not Peacekeeper space,” huffed Katelyn.

“Oh,” said non-burned Neil, his face set and remote. “You mean the Breakaway colonies.”

“The what?” asked Dan.

“A group of Sebaceans didn’t like Peacekeeper control, so they left,” said Erik. “They formed their own colony in the Uncharted Territories and maintain their independence from Peacekeeper command.”

Katelyn nodded. “They have no loyalty to the Peacekeepers so they have no reason to report your presence and they’re more tolerant of and used to aliens because they live out here.”

“Why don’t you come with us?” asked Dan. “The genetic hunters can’t find you there either.”

“We could hide there,” admitted Katelyn. “But we’d have to stay there forever. If we take them out, we’ll have the freedom to move around as we want.”

“Okay,” sighed Dan. “I don’t really like it, but it sounds like our best option. Any objections?”

There was one thing that Katelyn’s plan hadn’t taken into account. “I will not leave Kevin,” said Andrew. “He is under my protection.”

There was a brief silence. “I’ll watch him,” said the Neil who was staying on Exy. He looked up and met Andrew’s eyes. “Trust me.”

* * *

Andrew knocked on the doorway to Neil’s room; apparently the two Neils had been fighting over it and the possessions inside but this Neil got to keep it since he was the one remaining on Exy.

Neil looked up, his features softening when he saw Andrew. “That jerk stole my favourite shirt,” he grumbled. Clearing his throat, he continued, “I thought you were off already?”

Andrew hefted the bag of his belongings, everything he’d amassed since he’d defected from the Peacekeepers. “On my way now,” he said.

“Come to say goodbye to the spare?” Neil’s tone was bitter.

“Take care of yourself,” said Andrew, placing his bag on the floor and taking a couple steps forward. “I expect to find _both_ you and Kevin alive and well when I return. No unnecessary risks.”

“I’ve never taken an unnecessary risk in my life,” declared Neil.

“Liar,” said Andrew, reaching to drag him into a kiss. He froze before he could touch him, remembering the last time his hands had touched Neil.

“I’m fine,” said Neil quietly. “You didn’t hurt me.”

Andrew’s lips quirked wryly. “Liar,” he repeated.

“ _You_ didn’t hurt me,” Neil reiterated. “You would never.”

“I still—”

“I forgive you,” said Neil. “So does Kevin.”

“Might take longer before I do.”

Neil took a step forward and kissed him. It felt desperate, like Neil was saying goodbye.

Andrew gripped him tightly. “I wasn’t kidding about you being alive when I get back.”

Neil leaned his forehead against Andrew’s. “I’ll do my best,” he promised. “I’d tell you to take care of yourself but I know you won’t; however, _he_ is going with you. I know he’ll watch your back.” His smile was sad. “I would.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're two thirds finished! This fic is loosely organized into three sections that roughly follow various seasons of the show (the first third is season one, the second is four and two mixed together, and the third is season three). Get ready; the next third is... well, you'll see ;)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, you guys seem worried about the Neils ;)
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: heavily implied sexual content, minor dubcon (in that both parties consent but are under the influence), referenced past noncon

Being on the Marauder was not like being on Exy and Andrew found he didn’t like it. He had the feeling that he should be comfortable here— he’d never actually spent any time on long-range Marauders, but they were designed in a familiar Peacekeeper style— but instead everything felt cramped and claustrophobic.

The Marauder had three tiers. The top tier held a small command area. There was a pilot’s station and a co-pilot’s station and enough room for one more person to stand comfortably. Eight tiny crew quarters were also on the command tier, only just large enough for a cot and their personal effects locker. It was fortunate that Neil was almost as short as he was, otherwise they couldn’t easily fit in there together.

The middle tier had a small medical room, washroom, weapons room, and storage locker that could double as a cell, if needed. There was also a slightly larger galley-type room for eating and socializing that could more-or-less fit all of them.

The bottom tier, by far the largest, held the engine room and cargo bay and airlock.

Andrew could circle the whole thing during his regular patrol in less than a quarter arn. He couldn’t imagine how groups of eight commandos could live together in one of these for up to a cycle. He knew that when he was a Peacekeeper it would have seemed rational and routine but he’d been spoiled by his time on Exy. If you lived in space, he decided, Leviathans were the way to go.

Aaron slotted back into living on a Marauder with ease. Even before the fateful mission to capture the Intellant virus, he’d spent cycles with different crews as a support medic. For some reason, that made him think that he was in charge. Andrew didn’t actively challenge him for command, he just selectively listened to his orders. He did exactly as he wished and let Aaron’s resulting tantrums wash over him.

Neither Nicky or Erik were experienced or interested in living on a ship full time. Erik’s parents had been farmers and the two of them had plans to eventually return to their agrarian lifestyle on some backwoods, out-of-the-way, non-Peacekeeper-controlled planet, assuming they could find an appropriate one. They performed whatever tasks that were asked of them but neither of them were particularly useful. They mostly amused themselves. They were wrapped up in each other, making up for cycles apart, either in their tiny room or in the galley.

Before the Marauder left Exy, they’d borrowed about ten DRDs to help with maintenance as Katelyn’s upgrades with Leviathan components allowed them to interface with the systems. They weren’t tied in with the Marauder like they were with Exy (who was able to create more of them if they were destroyed) but could be given simple commands. Even with them around, the bulk of maintenance and repair fell to Katelyn and Neil.

It took Aaron several solars to learn that directly commanding Neil to do anything was useless and counterproductive. Aaron kept complaining that Andrew or Neil would end up getting them killed but Andrew tuned him out. In an emergency they would do what needed to be done. Until then, Aaron could sulk all he wanted.

Andrew split his time between command and wherever Neil was. The Marauder had an autopilot but it wasn’t very intelligent so it was good practice to always have someone monitoring it. That meant that he and Aaron switched off shifts in command without having to interact too much.

He wasn’t quite sure where he and Aaron stood. Aaron was annoyed with him most of the time but that was more a function of Aaron’s personality than true dislike. The few times they were together, Andrew caught Aaron regarding him with a pensive look on his face. They hadn’t talked about Andrew’s reaction to Aaron’s illness or Aaron’s reaction to Andrew’s capture, and if Andrew had his way then they never would. He had a sneaking suspicion he wouldn’t be that lucky. Aaron had already seemed close to speaking a few times; before long he would make them hash it out.

Despite how cramped it was and the long hours and the lack of solitude and Aaron’s bossiness and missing Exy, Andrew was content. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this settled.

Part of it was having a mission. He liked having a clear purpose again. His recent experiences, first being captured by Proust and then being controlled by him, had been horrible and traumatizing; although he missed travelling on Exy he was glad to get some space from where he’d watched helplessly as his body attacked people he cared about. Being on the Marauder was a mix of boredom and hard work but it was something he had chosen himself. He had ownership over his body again. He hadn’t forgotten or recovered from what Proust had done but he had his agency back and it felt good to exercise it.

The other thing that kept him in a good mood was recreating with Neil. He knew it meant something, that it was an actual relationship and not simply recreation, but he hadn’t admitted it aloud to Neil yet. He knew that if anything went wrong he’d never be able to recover from it.

Since he’d taken Neil to bed for the first time, they hadn’t had a chance to relax and enjoy each other’s company until now. He’d already known that he enjoyed spending time with Neil, finding his presence soothing instead of grating, but the long arns of FTL travel aboard the Marauder gave them time to be together. Andrew was getting used to having another person in his bed; he was surprised to find that he liked it. He held onto Neil while they slept to assuage his fears: too often his brain helpfully flashed him images of all the times he’d witnessed Neil dead or injured.

“Stop staring into space with that love-sick expression,” grumbled Aaron, shuffling into command. They’d been away from Exy for over thirty solars and they hadn’t made much progress on finding the genetic hunters. Aaron seemed to grow angrier with each passing solar.

Andrew ignored him, getting up from the pilot’s seat.

“Anything happen?” demanded Aaron testily.

“I would have mentioned if it had,” said Andrew in his blandest tone. His refusal to argue seemed to rile Aaron up even further. If Aaron was still in such a black mood later maybe he’d send Neil to command. Neil loved arguing.

“Fine,” snapped Aaron, taking his seat. “You’re dismissed.”

Andrew considered staying just to be contrary but he’d been in command for arns and needed to eat something. He headed down to the galley where he was happy to find Neil. To his annoyance, Erik, Nicky, and Katelyn were also present.

Katelyn yawned widely. “I wish we had non-emergency stimulants,” she sighed. “I’m so sleepy. I’ve been going over those Peacekeeper data spools again hoping to find a lead.”

“Anything?” asked Nicky, wearily. He sounded defeated.

“Only the name of the officer in charge,” said Katelyn, resting her head on her crossed arms. “Luther Hemmick.”

Nicky gasped and shuddered. Erik looked similarly alarmed.

“I’ve heard of him,” said Andrew. “He’s an admiral. He shouldn’t be leading a team of genetic hunters unless he’s being punished for something.”

“He is,” said Nicky sounding strangled.

It only took Andrew a microt to put it together. “ _Hemmick_ is your father?”

Nicky nodded and buried his head in his hands.

Andrew raised his eyebrows in contemplation. Interesting. He headed over to the supplies, grabbing a ration of food cubes.

“Bring me a portion?” asked Erik, politely.

Andrew tossed over what he had in his hands and took another ration.

Erik looked at the food cubes in distaste. “I am so hungry,” he complained. “These sustain me, yes, but they don’t bring any joy.”

“Food isn’t meant to bring joy,” said Andrew, taking a seat next to Neil. Neil was zoning out, watching Andrew with an expression that made Andrew’s stomach twist. He’d been wearing it more and more lately. The first time Andrew had ever seen it had been in the neural cluster, when he’d been taken over by Proust’s chip and Neil confessed his feelings for Andrew. Andrew didn’t like that memory, knowing what came next.

Andrew elbowed Neil and gave him an expectant look. Neil started and caught his eyes, his lips stretching into a smile.

Checking to ensure that no one was watching them, Andrew leaned over to whisper in Neil’s ear, “When I’m finished eating I’m going to take you back to my room, strip you down, and do that thing with my tongue that makes you forget how to speak. Yes?”

Neil’s breath hitched and Andrew was certain that if he had pupils they would have dilated. Instead, his eyes turned glassy as he nodded.

They were still establishing their boundaries. Neil had a low sex drive typical of his species and wasn’t always interested. Knowing that Neil had previously had sex when he didn’t want to, Andrew always made sure that he wasn’t just going along with what Andrew wanted. He’d been made to have sex without true consent himself and he wasn’t ever going to be like Spear, or let Neil’s lack of argument turn Andrew into him by accident.

Neil’s reaction made it clear that he was on board with Andrew’s plans. Andrew returned his focus to his food, feeling turned on, happy, and smug.

The ship suddenly lurched and shuddered. Andrew was thrown to the ground, still feeling strangely giddy. He rolled on top of Neil to protect him from potential falling debris as they hit the deck.

“You hurt?” he asked once the ship settled, running a hand through Neil’s hair to check for a head injury.

“No,” replied Neil, nuzzling against Andrew’s neck. He kissed a very tender spot and Andrew shivered. “You?” Neil ran one of his hands down Andrew’s flank before goosing him. Andrew bit the tip of his nose in retaliation.

“Everyone still frelling alive?” barked Aaron over the comms. Andrew climbed off Neil and pulled him up, keeping an arm around his waist. He looked to the others. Erik had reseated himself back at the table and begun gobbling up his food cubes, Katelyn was blinking sleepily and almost falling off her chair, and Nicky was lying listlessly on the deck.

“Seems so,” said Andrew, unexpectedly finding the situation hilarious. “What happened?”

“I don’t frelling know!” shouted Aaron. “We were yanked out of FTL by _something_ which is still pulling us in and neither our Hetch drive or our sensors are responding! Do something to fix it, you useless tralks!”

Katelyn appeared to have fallen asleep during his rant. Andrew could tell that something strange was going on but he was feeling too happy to care. He had Neil against him, that was all he needed.

Neil licked Andrew’s neck and sucked his earlobe into his mouth. “We should probably do something,” Andrew said huskily.

“Mmm-hmm,” agreed Neil, squeezing one of Andrew’s biceps.

“About the ship,” said Andrew.

“Why should we bother?” lamented Nicky from the floor. “We’re all going to die. It’s useless to try.”

“Wait, wait,” said Andrew, shaking his head and gently dislodging Neil. “Something’s wrong.”

Neil looked at him with bright eyes. He squeezed them shut for a moment; when he opened them again they were more lucid. “Right. Sensor array,” he said, turning and pulling Andrew out of the galley.

“Erik,” laughed Andrew as he was dragged out of the room, “make sure Katelyn’s sleeping and not dead.”

“Death is inevitable,” said Nicky mournfully.

* * *

He could feel Neil’s eyes on him, hungry and insistent. “Staring,” he said, making a couple connections in the sensor array. It had suffered damage when they’d dropped out of FTL.

“I wouldn’t, if you weren’t being so distracting,” said Neil.

“I’m distracting?” said Andrew, looking up. The panel in front of him sparked. He yanked his hand back and shook it in pain.

“Here,” said Neil, taking his injured hand. He kissed the wounded finger and then curled his tongue around it and sucked. “Be careful,” he said, giving Andrew’s hand back.

Andrew curled his hand into a fist. “Focus,” he said, talking more to himself than to Neil.

“Stop distracting me,” retorted Neil.

“I’m not.”

“Your face is distracting.”

“So is yours.”

“Oh, it’s my _face_ you want?” said Neil teasingly. He got up and stretched, letting his shirt ride up. “You sure?” he asked, turning to pick something up off the floor. “Not anything else?” Andrew sat back to enjoy the show; he really appreciated how tightly the tactical fabric of Neil’s pants hugged his body.

“Cause you know you can have _anything_ ,” finished Neil, leaning suggestively against the nearest bulkhead and looking at Andrew with hooded eyes.

Andrew’s resolve snapped. He was against Neil in a flash, crowding him against the bulkhead. “Tease,” he said, leaning in. He hesitated just before kissing him, asking without words if he could.

“It’s only teasing if I don’t follow through,” said Neil, winding his fingers into Andrew's hair. “Kiss me.”

Andrew did, running his hands under Neil’s shirt to feel his warm skin. Neil writhed against him as he pressed his thigh between his legs to give Neil something to grind against.

“You’re smiling,” said Neil, worry creeping into his tone. “The last time you smiled—”

“I’m still me; the chip is gone,” Andrew reassured him. “I’m just happy.”

“And I’m horny,” said Neil, tipping his head back. Andrew took the invitation to suck a mark into his neck. Neil gasped. “And Katelyn’s asleep.”

“Mmmm,” agreed Andrew. “Something weird is going on.”

“Do you think it has something to do with whatever pulled us out of FTL?” asked Neil. Andrew tightened his grip and started working on marking up his collarbones. “Oh, do that again.”

“It’s definitely related,” agreed Andrew, kissing Neil again. “We should be worried.”

“Can’t,” Neil panted. “All I can think about is how much I want you: on me, in me, everywhere.”

“Frell,” said Andrew.

“I’m trying!”

“No, bad frell,” said Andrew, reluctantly pulling away. Neil whined unhappily. “Fix the array. I’ll go see if Aaron knows what’s going on. Afterwards,” he dropped his voice, “I’ll take you back to my quarters and do whatever you want. I’ll get so deep inside you that you’ll feel me for solars. But first…” He dropped to his knees and reached for the clasp of Neil’s pants. “Something to hold you over.”

* * *

Andrew whistled obnoxiously on his way up to command. He was quite aware that his emotions were being manipulated but he was too happy to worry about it. Which would be concerning if he could make himself feel concerned.

Aaron was pointing a pulse pistol at a DRD when Andrew arrived in command.

“I am your commanding officer!” he shouted at it. “Obey me or I’ll execute you as a traitor!”

Andrew took in the scene and burst out laughing. Aaron turned the pistol on him, his face twisted in anger, which made Andrew laugh harder.

“Something’s frelling with our emotions,” he chortled.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” griped Aaron. “This little useless piece of dren has detected drexin gas throughout the ship but _it won’t do anything to fix it_.” He kicked the DRD. It flew through the air and bounced off the nearest bulkhead.

“What’s drexin?”

“It’s part of a family of hormones that regulate emotions.”

“That explains what’s happening to us.”

“Except this stuff can’t be natural. As far as I can tell from talking with the others, it's amplified exactly what we were feeling when it first entered the ship. We’re caught in a trap,” he growled. “I’m _so angry_.”

“Who set the trap?” asked Andrew. “The genetic hunters?”

“I don’t think so. Probably just some good-for-nothing pirates. Who I’ll delight in killing.”

The Marauder lurched. Aaron hurried back to the pilot’s chair and corrected its course. “This poorly made ship is still being pulled in,” he complained. “The shields are able to block some of the tractor pulse but we’re in a decaying orbit.”

“Around what?”

“Does it look like I can see anything?!” shouted Aaron, indicating the viewscreens, which were only showing opaque orange mist. “There was a reason I told you to fix the frelling sensors!”

“Neil’s working on it,” said Andrew, smiling when he thought of how dishevelled Neil had been when he’d left him. “What’s your plan?”

“Once the sensors are back we can triangulate wherever the tractor pulse is originating from and blast it into little tiny pieces and then blast those tiny pieces into tinier molecules.” Aaron looked truly deranged. “Then we can fly away from this frelling yotz.” He shook his head. “Assuming your frelling Nebari can be useful for once in his pitiful life.”

“He has plenty of uses,” said Andrew smugly.

“Ugh,” said Aaron. “I forbid you from telling me anything else.”

“He’s really talented with his fingers—”

“I am your _commanding officer_!” shouted Aaron. “I _command_ you to stop talking!”

Andrew laughed. “Even if we were still Peacekeepers, _Medic_ Minyard, you would never be my commanding officer.”

“Of course,” sneered Aaron. “I’d forgotten you’d slept your way to the top.”

Andrew shook his head, still amused. “You don’t know anything.”

“What I _know_ is that you got to be a Prowler pilot while I got shuffled into a support role on long-term missions. What I _know_ is that I trusted you with a secret and you used it to benefit yourself!”

“Do you _know_ what Commander Spear said to me when you applied for a transfer? ‘Three, three,’” Andrew pitched his voice low, still feeling giddy. He couldn’t remember why he hadn’t told Aaron this before, it was hilarious! His memory of these events were slightly hazy since the chip removal, but he still was aware of what happened. “He always called me by the last digit of my ID number; he didn’t like my first name. He had a weird obsession with Minyards, wanted to collect as many as he could. I think he served under the original Admiral Minyard and developed an unhealthy obsession with him.” Andrew shrugged. “Anyway, he’d tell me, ‘Three, I can’t wait until Five joins us. I’ll bet he doesn’t beg as pretty as you but I can teach him.’”

Aaron stared uncomprehendingly.

“See, I wasn’t there willingly. I was there because he forced me to be and I had no recourse because he was my commanding officer. I assumed you didn’t want that— given you were ‘in love’—” Andrew made his air quotes as sarcastic as possible “—but since you’re so mad about it maybe I should have let him have you.” He laughed happily.

“You’re lying,” said Aaron, white-lipped in anger.

“Nope!” said Andrew giddily. “You know the funniest part? I was trying to _protect_ you, isn’t that hilarious?”

Aaron’s hand started shaking. “Get out of here,” he said in a low voice. “I don’t know why you’re telling me these lies but if you stay here any longer I’m going to shoot you.”

“Your orders don’t mean anything; unlike Spear, you’re not my commanding officer!” Andrew sing-songed heading out of command, not because of Aaron’s order but because he wanted to be back with Neil.

“Wait,” ordered Aaron. “That Nebari— is he forcing you, too?”

Andrew laughed so hard he had to grip the door frame to keep himself upright. Aaron’s face got redder and redder as Andrew laughed.

“You have absolutely no clue, do you?” he finally managed to choke out.

“You stay here and fly the ship,” said Aaron, getting up. “I’ll go help him.”

Andrew blocked his path. “There is no way I’m letting you anywhere near him while he’s compromised,” he said. He was pretty sure Neil’s horniness was aimed solely at Andrew (since his regular sex drive was Andrew-specific) but he wasn’t willing to test his theory. Especially when Aaron was angry and of the opinion that Neil was capable of forcing Andrew into bed.

“But—” said Aaron.

“No,” said Andrew, pushing him back. “Stay away from Neil.”

“You’re _protecting_ him? From _me_? I’m your brother!”

Andrew shrugged and grinned. “I moved on. It’s not like you appreciated it when I protected you.”

* * *

Neil was still working on the sensor array when Andrew got back down to the lowest tier. He was squinting in concentration as he rewired broken connections.

“No,” he said, without looking up at Andrew.

“No?” asked Andrew archly.

“Don’t distract me,” said Neil, his hands shaking slightly. “If I don’t do this, we’re going to die. And I literally do not care. I’ve _never_ given up in my life, not even when Lola caught me, and right now all I want to do is jump you and take you right here.”

“At least it would be a nice way to go,” said Andrew.

“Other Neil will never forgive me. I’m supposed to be watching your back.”

“I did notice you enjoy watching my backside,” Andrew teased.

Neil grinned at him. “Can you blame me? It’s an excellent backside.” He visibly forced himself to turn back to his work. “Stop it. I can’t think with my mivonks; I have to fix this frelling thing.”

“Now you have me thinking about your mivonks.” Andrew laughed at Neil’s expression but gave up his teasing. “Do you need any help?”

Neil shuddered but nodded and pointed at a panel with frayed connections. “Fix those. We’ll finish sooner that way.”

Andrew went to work. He noticed that Neil kept sneaking looks at him and that sweat was gathering at his temples; he didn’t comment, trying to focus on fixing the ship. Only the thought of dying and breaking his promises to Neil and Kevin kept him on task.

After they’d working in silence for half an arn, Neil broke it. “You’re actually pretty good at this for someone who used to look down on tech work,” he said, wiping his brow.

“I’ve had lots of opportunity to practice recently,” said Andrew. “You okay?”

“I’m hot,” said Neil.

“I know,” Andrew smiled.

Neil pressed his lips together in a thin line. “Are you almost finished?”

“Nearly. You?”

“I’m close.”

“Yeah, you are,” said Andrew, approvingly.

Neil groaned. “Almost, almost,” he muttered to himself. “Just a couple more…”

“Done,” said Andrew.

“So close,” said Neil. “Give me… three… more… microts… there!” He practically leapt at Andrew, who caught him easily and held him up.

Neil wrapped his legs around his waist and ran his hands up Andrew’s biceps to his shoulders. “You’re so strong,” he said, threading his fingers through Andrew’s hair and tilting his head back to kiss him. “It’s the sexiest thing. You can hold me up easily. I can lean on you and you’ll never let me fall.” He punctuated his words with kisses.

“Never,” agreed Andrew, pressing Neil against the nearest bulkhead.

“I’ve got a lock on the target,” said Aaron over comms.

“Then frelling shoot it and leave us alone!” griped Neil.

“The Hetch drive is still not working,” said Aaron. “It needs to be fixed so we can get the frell out of here. Go do that.”

Neil groaned in frustration and knocked his head back against the bulkhead. “I know you have a strange attachment to your brother,” he said through gritted teeth, “but would you be incredibly upset if I murdered him?”

* * *

Andrew was significantly less happy and amused the next time he walked into command. It was a little disappointing; everything had seemed so simple and easy and lovely earlier.

Once Neil fixed the Hetch drive and the engines were functioning properly again, the atmospheric system kicked into gear and pumped all the drexin gas into space, letting them all return to normal. Nicky, Erik, and Katelyn had all been sheepish about their absolute uselessness and Andrew hadn’t seen Neil since. He was worried that they might have done something that made Neil uncomfortable during their time under the influence of the hormone.

He also didn’t want to see or talk to Aaron. He found their argument and what he’d admitted much less funny in retrospect. As soon as he entered command he could tell from the expression on Aaron’s face that they weren’t going to pretend that it never happened.

“Andrew…” said Aaron, at a loss.

“I don’t want to discuss it,” said Andrew. “It’s the past. I barely remember it.”

Aaron raised a skeptical eyebrow.

“The Diagnosian took some memories along with the chip,” explained Andrew. “Including those. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“It _does_ matter,” snapped Aaron. “How can you—” He stopped and breathed in slowly to calm himself. “Has it occurred to you that we’re the same?”

“We are not the same.”

“Similar, then,” said Aaron. “As much as you want to protect me, I want to protect you.”

“You can’t,” said Andrew. “You couldn’t.”

“Still.”

“I neither want nor need your protection,” Andrew pointed out.

“That won’t stop me from trying,” said Aaron. “I wish I could bring him back to life just to kill him again.”

“He’s dead. That’s what’s important.”

“Okay, but… but Andrew, I want things to be better between us.” Aaron rubbed the back of his neck and avoided eye contact. “We’re brothers. It shouldn’t be this hard. Tell me what I can do to make it better.”

Andrew thought about it. “You could be nicer to Neil,” he suggested.

Aaron’s face twisted in a grimace.

“He’s not going anywhere,” said Andrew. “I know you don’t like the idea of me with an alien but you’re going to have to get over it.”

“Oh,” said Aaron, his eyes widening in realization. “You’re in love with him.”

“No,” said Andrew quickly. “No, I— why would you say that? I don’t. It doesn’t mean anything.”

Aaron’s eyes were knowing. “I remember when I told myself the same things about Katelyn.” He got up from the pilot’s chair and clapped Andrew on the shoulder. “You’ll figure it out.”

“There’s nothing to figure out,” grumbled Andrew, collapsing into Aaron’s vacated seat.

“Sure,” said Aaron. Now he was the one sounding smug. Before he left, he turned and cleared his throat. “Thanks for what you did today. We all would have died without you.”

“Thank Neil. He’s the one who actually did the repairs.”

Aaron’s nose wrinkled in distaste. “I don’t want to speak to that tralk.”

“I thought you were going to be nicer to him? A start would be for you to stop calling him a tralk all the time.”

“I’ll try,” said Aaron. “What was his elevated emotion, anyway?”

“You don’t want to know,” said Andrew. Aaron opened his mouth and Andrew cut him off, “You don’t. Trust me.”

Aaron closed his mouth and nodded, leaving command.

A few arns later, Andrew was drifting; he was keeping an eye on the readouts but his lack of sleep was catching up to him. He also wanted to see Neil. As if his thoughts had conjured him, Neil entered command.

“How are you doing?” he asked.

“Tired,” said Andrew. “It’s times like these that I really miss Wymack so we could head to bed to sleep.”

“Sleep?” asked Neil, straddling Andrew’s lap. “I think not.”

Andrew was suddenly much more awake. He ran his hands up Neil’s thighs to settle on his hips. “The drexin’s gone,” he said.

“And yet I still want you.”

“I thought you were bothered about what happened between us.”

“Never,” said Neil, leaning down to kiss him. “It’s always yes with you.”

“Don’t say things you don’t mean.”

“But I do mean it,” said Neil, his eyes shining with earnestness. Andrew wanted to punch him. “Now, everyone is asleep except Katelyn who’s busy with the engines. No one’s going to disturb us for arns. I believe you made me some promises about ‘afterwards’?”

* * *

Andrew stretched as he woke, revelling in the pleasant soreness of his muscles. He felt lazy and content; not the fake giddiness from the previous solar but actual warm contentment. His foot hit something and he opened his eyes to find Neil sitting on the end of his bed, fiddling with something and looking apprehensive.

“Were you watching me sleep?” he asked in a scratchy voice.

Neil blinked back to awareness. “Hmmm?” he said. Then he shook his head, “No. I was just thinking.”

“Sounds dangerous,” said Andrew, sitting up. He wondered what was on Neil’s mind. The fidgeting made a hint of doubt enter Andrew’s mind. Perhaps the drexin hadn’t worn off as quickly for Neil as it had for the rest of them and he was now regretting everything. “What’s wrong?”

Neil placed the tool he was handling down on the bed beside him and met Andrew’s eyes. “I want to end our deal.”

“No,” said Andrew instantly, reflexively. He kicked his blankets off and got up; this was not a conversation he wanted to be naked for. He pulled on a pair of pants and his weapons belt (as he always felt naked without at least a couple weapons). Feeling better armoured, he turned back to Neil who was watching him expressionlessly. “You aren’t going anywhere,” he said forcefully.

Neil’s face creased in bafflement. “What? No, I—” He cut himself off. “Andrew, of course I’m not leaving you. I don’t think I could, even if I wanted to.” He shook his head. “No, I meant that I’m letting you out of your end of the bargain.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s not fair of me to ask that of you,” said Neil.

“Explain.”

“How much do you know about how we found Easthaven?”

Andrew opened his mouth to reply and then closed it again, Neil’s question catching him off guard. He hadn’t actually heard the whole story, preferring to remain ignorant of how many times Neil had almost died in his absence. “Only the bare bones of it,” he said. “You got duplicated while on your way back from an unrealized reality, if Nicky’s to be believed.” He levelled Neil with a glare. “But he must be mistaken because I want to believe you’re not stupid enough to return there.”

Neil looked up at him steadily. “We knew the bioloid was from Easthaven and I’d only heard the word once before.”

“From the Kevin-Jean hybrid,” provided Andrew, remembering. Remembering how two hundred microts after they’d heard him say the word, Neil— his Neil, not the disconcertingly attractive Sebacean Neil— had been shot right in front of him. “You went back there?”

Neil nodded. “I took Jean with me to help him cross over and it was so creepy. The me-Katelyn hybrid was cheating on Aaron with the Nicky-you.”

“Ew,” said Andrew. “I didn’t need to picture that.”

“Well, I didn’t need to see it, and yet… Anyway, all I had to do was shoot him, right? Shoot him so Jean could find out where Easthaven was. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t make myself shoot someone who looked so much like you.”

“I heard you didn’t have any trouble destroying the bioloid.”

“Not the same,” said Neil, shaking his head. “Its eyes were wrong.” He shuddered, and continued. “It’s not fair of me to ask you to kill me when I wasn’t able to kill you. If you can’t, you’ll punish yourself.”

“I can do it,” said Andrew stubbornly.

“Can you?” asked Neil. He reached out to yank on Andrew’s belt, pulling him until he was standing between Neil’s legs. He then unclipped Andrew’s pulse pistol, forcibly put it in Andrew’s hand, and brought it up to rest between his eyes. “Can you kill me?” His voice and gaze were both steady.

Andrew only lasted a couple microts before wrenching the weapon away. “That doesn’t mean anything,” he said. “It’s a stupid test; there’s no reason to kill you now. If I had to, I could.” He wondered if he was trying to convince Neil or himself.

“But you don’t have to,” said Neil.

“You want me to let them take you?”

“Of course not,” scoffed Neil. “And I still want to be put down if I’m ever mind cleansed. But it shouldn’t be you. Let Aaron kill me; he’d jump at the chance. He _really_ does not like me.”

Andrew tipped Neil’s head back and kissed him deeply. “I could do it,” he repeated petulantly. “This is nothing; you mean nothing to me.”

“Every time you say it, I believe you a little less,” said Neil, scooting up the bed and pulling Andrew down on top of him.


	20. Chapter 20

Kevin was certain he was slowly going insane. They were halfway through their quarter cycle vacation in the Breakaway Colonies and so far _nothing_ had happened. Sure, they’d visited four of the planets that made up the colonies, they’d lain on beaches, and gone dancing, and visited important historically significant sites (the dancing was more Allison’s speed and the museums were more Kevin’s). But they hadn’t really _done_ anything. It was boring.

He wasn’t sure if he was vacationing wrong. He’d never really been on one before. Everyone else seemed to be enjoying themselves, with the exceptions of Thea, who shared Kevin’s views, and Neil, who had been in a strange manic mood ever since Andrew had left with the other version of him. Maybe vacations were supposed to be boring and it was a big conspiracy. Everything thought that everyone else was enjoying themselves, so they just never mentioned they were bored in an effort to fit in.

Or maybe Kevin wasn’t great at relaxing.

He and Thea had tried to opt out of visiting the latest planet, happy to stay on Exy and do… something. Something sciencey, preferably. Wymack had vetoed that, claiming that he and Exy needed to vent all her tiers in order to complete her convalescence. Kevin assumed that Wymack was just enjoying all his recent alone time and didn’t want Kevin intruding.

It was nerve wracking. As soon as they’d left the ship in the transport pod, Exy had starburst away. Wymack had said they’d be back for them in several solars but it was still disconcerting to be stranded without their home and protector.

They were on the capital planet of the Breakaway Colonies. It had been _Seth,_ of all people, who had secured their invitation. Apparently he’d conned some important people into believing he was actually royalty so they were now rubbing shoulders with the upper echelons of society.

The only upside was the alcohol. Kevin had missed good alcohol.

Still, the nightclub was indistinguishable from all the other nightclubs they’d been in. Sure, this one had a lot more kissing going on but in general it was dark, the music was loud, and the refreshments were expensive.

“I’m never leaving this planet,” said Allison happily, dropping into a chair at the table where Kevin and Thea were scowling and drinking in silence. “Do you know how many people I’ve kissed tonight?”

“I thought you were with Jean and Renee,” said Kevin acidly.

“I am,” said Allison carelessly. “But a pod of three is pathetic. I’m keeping my eyes open for other compatible people.”

“What’s with all the kissing?” asked Thea, looking around. “It seems more perfunctory than if any of these people were interested in each other.” Kevin hadn’t noticed that, but now that he looked closer he could see that people were approaching each other, kissing, and then usually shrugging and looking for someone else to kiss.

“Apparently it’s a local holiday and these people are looking to make marriage alliances,” said Allison. She gestured to a line of small bottles along one of the bars. “If you drip that substance on your tongue before you kiss, it tests your genetic compatibility. If it tastes sweet when your saliva mixes, you’ll have healthy babies.”

“Find anyone?” asked Thea.

“Nope,” said Allison. “I _did_ learn that Renee and I can’t have children together.”

“It would be more surprising if you could,” said Kevin.

“Anyway, you two should stop being so boring. Get out there! Kiss some people!”

“I don’t need to kiss anyone else,” said Kevin, stiffly. “Thea and I are together.”

“Then at least pretend you like each other,” said Allison rolling her eyes. She threw back the rest of her drink before disappearing back onto the dance floor.

Her visit seemed to break some kind of taboo about approaching them. After that, locals kept approaching them, wiggling their vials in invitation.

Thea dismissed all her potential suitors harshly. Kevin admired her ability to shut them all down so completely. He ended up being wishy-washy enough that Thea eventually lost patience with him.

“Kiss them if you want to so badly,” she said.

“I don’t want to,” he said but he knew he sounded unconvincing.

She raised an eyebrow at him.

“I _don’t_ want to,” he said more forcefully. “I want to kiss you but I don’t know what you want.”

“What are you talking about? We’ve been sleeping together for a while now.”

“I know, but I don’t know what that means to you. Is it casual? Serious? You were originally planning on leaving Exy; are you staying now?”

The look Thea gave him made him feel very stupid. “I thought you understood that I wasn’t going anywhere after my ship was destroyed,” she said. “And if I wasn’t serious I would have ended it by now.”

Kevin shrugged. He wasn’t used to feeling unsure in his relationships. “You could be having fun.”

“If I wanted fun, I wouldn’t be with you,” said Thea brutally. “Look. We’re together. I thought you knew.”

“Oh,” said Kevin, mollified. “Well, good.” He glanced around. “Should we check our compatibility?”

Thea didn’t answer, too busy glaring at the new woman who had approached Kevin from his blind spot. She was pretty; short with smooth brown skin and dark hair wound into intricate braids.

“I will bother you for a kiss,” the woman said, holding out her vial.

“Oh, no,” said Kevin, flustered. “Thank you.” He gestured to Thea. “I already found my match.”

The woman gave Kevin an imperious look. “It was not a request,” she said.

“I’m not—”

Another woman, this one olive-skinned with curly black hair, surreptitiously showed Kevin that she had a weapon. “Kiss. Her,” she said sharply.

Thea tensed. They had been told that weapons were strictly forbidden in the capital city. “Do it,” she whispered.

Kevin huffed, but didn’t want to push his luck. He opened his mouth, letting the braided woman place a drop of the strange liquid on his tongue. She followed suit, and then leaned in. They touched tongues, then kissed. It was exactly as awkward as being forced to kiss a stranger who had insisted should be.

“Sweet,” said Kevin. “It tastes sweet.”

The woman with the gun, obviously some sort of bodyguard, faltered slightly before steeling herself. The braided woman looked back at her imploringly. The bodyguard shook her head before looking back to Kevin. “Come with us.”

“Hold on,” said Kevin. “I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what’s going on.”

The two women shared another look.

“We’ve been searching for someone compatible with the Princess for cycles now,” said the bodyguard stiffly. “You will father her children.”

* * *

Neil felt like getting into a fight. He had a strange itch under his skin, restlessness that had been plaguing him ever since Andrew left. He wanted to punch someone and he wanted to _be_ punched, to roll around scratching and clawing and biting. It wasn’t a completely new feeling; after the numbness that followed his mother’s death wore off, he went through something similar. Something to take his mind off of being left behind.

He knew that technically Andrew hadn’t abandoned him and would be back, assuming he survived. He’d _better_ survive or the Neil who was supposed to be watching his back would have a lot to answer for. Still, he couldn’t shake the knowledge that somewhere out in the galaxy there was a Neil who was living the life he wanted while he’d been left to babysit Kevin.

He hadn’t actually seen Kevin for a while, come to think about it. Oh, well. No matter. It’s not like Kevin could get into a lot of trouble in a nightclub where no one had weapons. Besides, Thea was with him and she was far scarier than Neil was.

Instead, Neil was looking for a fight partner. If he was as promiscuous as he pretended to be he’d also be looking for another kind of partner. He thought about what he’d do if Andrew was here, how he’d push against him and kiss his neck. That always made Andrew shiver. He shook off the fantasy, sick with jealousy. _Other_ Neil was probably doing that right now.

Well, fine, thought Neil. If Andrew was with someone else (he ignored that the someone else in question was still him, if not quite _him_ ) then he could, too. It's not like they ever agreed to be exclusive. It was the smartest thing to do; he shouldn’t have let himself get so reliant on Andrew anyway. He didn’t need anyone else to hold him up, he was self-sufficient. All the fighting and reckless risk-taking he’d engaged in during his recent vacation hadn’t gotten rid of the feeling that his skin was slightly too tight, maybe kissing would do it.

Even though the Sebaceans here were not as militant as the Peacekeepers, they still put a lot of emphasis on pure bloodlines. They were more tolerant of aliens, living in the Uncharted Territories, but that didn’t mean that they were completely supportive of alien-Sebacean unions. Still, Neil had gotten a fair number of interested glances and even some offers to try the strange substance that judged compatible DNA. He had no interest in finding someone compatible but he could easily find a casual encounter.

There was a man watching him: short, blond, typically Sebacean. If Neil squinted, in the dark he looked like Andrew. Neil bypassed him, opting for someone completely different.

“You look like you could use some fun,” he said, sidling up to a dark-skinned, dark-haired woman who had been watching him with suggestive eyes.

“Is that what you are?” she asked.

“I can be whatever you want me to be.”

She smiled dirtily. “You look like a Nebari; are you?”

This type of flirting was familiar and instinctive. “If you want me to be,” he said with a wink.

“What I _want_ is to piss off my father. I think you’ll do nicely.”

That sounded like something Neil should stay far away from: it had far too much potential to blow up in his face. Instead, he grinned. “I am _excellent_ at pissing people off.”

* * *

Kevin was still in a daze as he was escorted through the halls of what he’d learned was the royal palace. How did stuff like this happen to him?

“I can’t do this,” he said desperately to the Princess— Laila, she'd introduced herself. “I have a girlfriend.”

“Hi,” said Thea shortly, keeping stride beside him, completely tense.

“So do I,” said Laila, gesturing to her personal bodyguard (introduced as Alvarez). “I don’t see how that matters.”

“It— Of course it matters! I’m not going to have sex with you if I’m with someone else!”

Laila gave him a look that made him feel as if he were an unwanted spider in her shower. “If you lay a hand on me I will have it cut off.”

“I will do it happily,” added Alvarez.

“I thought you wanted me to impregnate you,” said Kevin testily.

“Why would we need to have sex for that?” Laila asked in disgust. “I simply need your… contribution.” She gestured vaguely at his crotch.

“Oh,” said Kevin stupidly, feeling the need to cover his family jewels. “Oh! Artificial breeding programs, right.” He shook his head. “I’m not sure how I feel about that. I really don’t understand what’s going on here.”

Laila sighed, as if he was a giant imposition. As if he was just going to hand over his _sperm_ because she, a stranger, demanded it.

“Look, you’re a Peacekeeper, right?” she said shortly.

“Not exactly,” Kevin hedged. He didn’t know if pretending to be a Peacekeeper was a good or bad idea in this situation.

Laila shot him a confused glance but didn’t let his answer deter her. “What do you know about the history of the Breakaway Colonies?”

“Oh!” said Kevin happily. This was a question he could answer. He’d visited many historical sites and museums during their stay there. “I know you left Peacekeeper space about sixteen hundred cycles ago, unhappy with their rule. You found a system of five inhabitable planets out in the Uncharted Territories and settled here.”

“Right,” said Laila. “And the Peacekeepers futilely waited for us to admit we were wrong about wanting to leave and go back to them, penitent and ashamed.”

“Which we are not,” supplied Alvarez.

Kevin decided being a Peacekeeper wouldn’t actually be beneficial, based on how disdainful Alvarez looked. “I’m not a Peacekeeper,” he said quickly. “I’m not affiliated with them and I’m in the Uncharted Territories to get away from them.”

Laila looked slightly placated. “We didn’t know when we settled here how tactically important our position would become,” she continued. “But through expansion of both Peacekeeper and Scarran territories, we’ve recently become a target of interest for both of them.”

Kevin had heard of Scarrans a couple times. Allison had told him about them once, explaining that they were one of the galactic powers to rival the Peacekeepers and the Nebari. He also knew that Ichirou was a half-Scarran hybrid and Andrew had once mentioned off-hand that Scarrans had some kind of natural heat emission that could incapacitate Sebaceans. He knew that he wanted to stay far away from them. “What does that have to do with me?” he asked.

Laila sighed. “I’m getting to that. Our power has always been in our neutrality. We are well positioned as a site for espionage or launching of attacks on either Peacekeeper or Scarran space. Both of them want to control us but neither will make a move against us for fear that we’ll ally with the other. As long as we stay neutral, we’re safe.”

“Okay…” said Kevin slowly. “Still not understanding what this has to do with me but the politics are fascinating.” Thea elbowed him.

“I am the next in line to be Empress,” said Laila.

“You’re a monarchy?” asked Kevin. “Isn’t that dangerous when your position is so tenuous? What if the heir turns out to be easily swayed?”

“I wonder what _that_ would be like?” said Alvarez acidly.

“Uh,” said Kevin, aware that he accidentally seemed to have put his foot in his mouth.

Laila shared a look with Alvarez. “My younger brother is ambitious and in league with the Scarrans and my younger sister is naive and reckless and attention-seeking. If I am not crowned Empress, one of them will compromise our neutrality and plunge our civilization into war.”

“No offense,” said Thea, although she sounded like she wanted to be offensive. “We have no reason to trust what you’re saying. You’re strangers to us. For all we know _you’re_ the one who’s secretly in league with the Scarrans.”

Laila pulled herself up in affront.

“And you still haven’t told us what that has to do with me,” said Kevin quickly, hoping to divert her.

He was successful. “About two cycles ago, I was injected with an unknown substance that altered the DNA of my ova,” said Laila through gritted teeth. “Since then, I have not been able to find someone capable of impregnating me.”

“She cannot become Empress until she has secured the next generation,” said Alvarez softly, reaching out to grip Laila’s shoulder in support. “By law, the crown will pass to one of her siblings if she is not pregnant by the end of the cycle.”

“I am going to rule,” said Laila, her face set and her words sure. “I am going to keep my people safe and peaceful. I am going to be Empress, with my love ruling at my side,” she sent a heated glance to Alvarez, “and my children will follow in my footsteps.” She pinned Kevin with a look. “You will give me my children, or you will have the deaths of billions on your conscience.”

* * *

Kevin was still feeling wrong footed when he was ushered into the throne room to meet the current Emperor, Laila’s father. He hadn’t consented to Laila’s demand. He didn’t like it and he couldn’t quite put his finger on why. Probably that she wanted him to father several children and give up all claim on them and never see them. And she hadn’t even asked! Only demanded that he do so.

Regardless, he was brought before Emperor Rhemann.

“Father,” said Laila gravely. “Our hopes and prayers have been answered. The man you see before you can—”

She was cut off by the large ceremonial doors being banged open by a young woman. She resembled Laila but she was visibly younger and didn’t have the weight that Laila seemed to carry on her shoulders.

“Daddy!” she called. “I have exciting news.”

“Marissa, darling, I’m speaking with your sister,” said the Emperor.

“But I want to tell you something!” said Marissa, stamping one of her feet.

“Because Gods forbid that the attention not be on you for ten microts,” said Laila sourly, under her breath.

Clearly not quietly enough though. Marissa wheeled on her. “ _All_ we talk about lately is your barren womb,” she hissed. “Everyone’s all worried that you won’t become Empress and no one’s been paying attention to _me_!”

“All attention has been on you since the moment you were born,” said Laila heatedly.

“Girls!” said the Emperor in an imperious voice. “This bickering is hardly appropriate for your rank and station.”

“My apologies, Father,” said Laila, straightening.

At the same moment, Marissa looked down with a flushed face. “Sorry, Daddy.”

“Alright, Marissa, tell us your news,” said the Emperor indulgently.

Laila tsked but otherwise remained placid.

“I’m getting married!” she said excitedly.

Laila stared at her and Emperor Rhemann sat back and clutched his chest. “You are doing what?” he asked.

“To whom?” demanded Laila, aghast.

“To a Nebari!” said Marissa happily. Kevin had a sinking feeling in his gut. “Isn’t that great! It will create a powerful alliance between our people.”

“You can’t—” said Laila.

“You will not marry a stranger,” said Rhemann.

“A stranger’s just a friend you haven’t met,” said Marissa guilelessly.

“You ignorant—” started Laila.

“Anyway, come here!” called Marissa. She turned back to the doors where a very disgruntled-looking Neil was being escorted into the room by two armed guards. Kevin resisted face-palming by a slim margin.

“This is my beloved,” said Marissa. “The Nebari known as…” she trailed off. “Uh…”

“Hi,” said Neil with a sheepish wave. “I’m Neil.”

* * *

“You could have mentioned we’re getting married,” said Neil idly, eating some really quite delicious fruit he wasn’t familiar with off a gilded plate. “Or that the person you wanted to piss off was the _Emperor_.”

It had taken a while for the hubbub from Marissa’s announcement to die down; in fact, it was probably still ongoing. Neil and Marissa had been escorted away and stashed in an opulent room, likely so the more stolid members of her family could figure their way out of this mess without insulting the Nebari Establishment.

Kevin had grabbed Neil’s elbow right after he’d introduced himself. “What about Andrew?” he hissed.

“What about him?” Neil had replied nonchalantly, shaking him off.

Kevin had looked flabbergasted. “You’re _together_.”

“Are we? Where is he then?”

“I’m… I’m going to tell him about this when he gets back!”

“Are you also going to tell him about what _you’re_ doing in audience with the Emperor?”

Kevin had turned an interesting shade of red and stuttered several vowel sounds before Neil was led from the room.

Marissa grinned at Neil. The naivety that she’d displayed in the throne room was all but gone, replaced with the cunning she’d shown in the club. “But then you might not have agreed to help me.”

“I don’t know,” said Neil slowly. “That was pretty fun.”

“I could tell that you were looking for something reckless to do. I thought I’d help you out.”

“For any reason? Or just to anger your sister?”

“Distraction,” said Marissa, popping a piece of fruit into her mouth. “Can’t have the biggest news be how Laila’s found a way around her forced sterility.”

“Why not?”

“Because then the people who poisoned her will kill her sperm donor and she won’t be able to take the throne after all. I won’t let that happen.” Her eyes were hard.

Neil regarded her in silence. “You’re trying to protect your sister.”

“Of course I am,” said Marissa, looking vaguely surprised.

“They think you’re shallow and vapid,” Neil pointed out. “Do they know how ruthless you are?”

“Why would they? It would make things harder for me.” She gave him a level look. “Laila has her role and I have mine. She will rule and I will protect her from gossip and rumours and intrigue. No one will think twice of saying anything bad about her in front of her jealous younger sister.”

“And your family has no idea?”

“It’s not their fault, not really,” she said. “My mother died shortly after I was born, so I’ve always been my father’s baby girl. And Laila was more like a mother to me than an older sister. As far as they’re both concerned I’m about eight cycles old.”

“And now you’ve pulled me into it.”

“As I said, I didn’t think you’d mind,” said Marissa, smiling. “You have the air of someone who was looking for a little danger. I think the false face you wear in public rivals mine.”

“My skill as a liar does not come close to yours,” said Neil, impressed that she had everyone in her life hoodwinked. He imagined that telling someone was a relief for her.

“I don’t know,” she said slowly. “I think we could be a power couple.” She coyly held up a vial of the compatibility-testing liquid.

“Do you think so?” replied Neil, leaning forward and opening his mouth. She used the stopper to place a drop of the substance on his tongue and leaned in to kiss him. He let her for several microts, before leaning back and sighing. Anger bubbled under his skin; he didn’t want to kiss anyone but Andrew. Andrew who had _left him_. His mouth tasted sour.

“Too bad,” sighed Marissa.

There was a loud thump at the door.

“Finally,” she said, pulling a long knife from her boot. “Took them long enough.”

Neil eyed the door. “Who?” he asked.

“Why, my brother’s lackeys, of course,” said Marissa, smiling thinly. “They’re here to kill you.”

“Oh, good,” said Neil, rolling his neck and letting the small flame of anger turn into a bonfire. “I was looking for a fight.”

* * *

“I cannot wait to get off this planet,” said Thea in annoyance.

Kevin was thankful that she hadn’t left his side; the two of them were sequestered in a small room in the medical wing. He’d been sent here to confirm his genetic compatibility with Princess Laila. He wasn’t sure what he expected but so far a couple scanners had been waved at him and a single vial of blood had been extracted. He wondered when they were going to demand his… contribution, as Laila had called it. He had no desire to jack off into a cup.

“I don’t think it’ll be easy,” Kevin pointed out. “I mean, Neil’s apparently getting _married_. And I’m being asked to father the next generation of rulers.”

“I don’t see why you need to stay here for that.”

“They’ll be my kids,” said Kevin in confusion.

“Genetically, sure,” said Thea, shrugging. “But genetics aren’t what makes a parent. Don’t you have a way on your planet for couples who are not capable of traditional reproduction to have children?”

“Yeah,” sighed Kevin. “I guess. It just feels weird, you know? I’ve never really thought about having kids.”

“Do you want children?”

“I don’t know, maybe? I think I always assumed that I’d have them one day— solar— but I’ve never really given a lot of thought to the future. I always had enough to keep my attention in the present: first my schooling, then becoming as astronaut, then my experiment… then trying to get home. But now that I’m stuck here I have to start deciding what I’m going to do.” He sighed. “This might be my only chance to even _have_ children.”

“Well, we know you’re compatible with a Sebacean,” said Thea. “It stands to reason that you may be compatible with other Sebaceans.”

“Or Aquarans?” asked Kevin innocently.

Thea looked away but she was smiling. “Perhaps,” she said. “Maybe I’ll get my hands on one of those vials. My point is that you never know what might happen. Why worry about it?”

“So I’m just supposed to be okay with leaving my children behind?”

“You told me you never knew your father,” she said. “Are you worried that you’ll be like him?”

“I don’t want them to grow up wondering, like I did,” said Kevin.

“They won’t,” said Thea. “This society is not that similar to yours; half of all Sebaceans are homosexual. This is common practice.”

Kevin grunted.

“And remember that they’ll have two loving parents.”

“That wasn’t my concern; I know from personal experience that a single parent can do a damn good job. I guess my main issue is that I don’t really know the politics, except what I’ve been told by Laila and she’s biased. I have no proof that her brother’s actually all that bad.”

Loud shrieking sounded from the main entrance to the medical wing. Thea and Kevin shared a look and then rushed out to see what was going on.

Marissa was the one making the noise, spattered in both blue and red blood. “My brother just tried to kill my fiance!” she shouted hysterically.

“Huh,” said Thea. “I guess that answers that.”

* * *

Neil’s head was throbbing when he woke. He couldn’t place where he was at first, blinking around blearily. There was… a fight? Was that right? The skin on his hand felt blistered and raw. Oh, right. He’d punched a Scarran.

M’Att was sitting by Neil’s bed, his gaze distant.

“What happened?” croaked Neil.

M’Att jumped at Neil’s words, grinning happily at him before his face morphed into annoyance. “What _happened_ ,” he said testily, “is that you were used as _bait_ to expose the Prince’s political machinations and apparently you did this willingly without telling any of us! You got into a fight with a _Scarran_!”

Neil winced. “Hey, I’m still alive,” he defended.

“Barely,” huffed M’Att. “You could have died.”

“Luckily you have a spare.” Neil sat up, ready to get out of the medical wing.

M’Att stopped him with a hand on his shoulder, uncharacteristically sombre.

“You are not replaceable,” he said seriously. “You’ve been acting strange ever since you were doubled. Do you _want_ to die?”

Neil avoided eye contact, feeling itchy. “No,” he said forcefully. “I’ve been struggling to survive for so long; _of course_ I don’t want to die.”

“Then what?” said M’Att helplessly. “You can’t keep doing this to us. We _care_ about you, Neil! What would we do if you died? What would Andrew do?”

“I doubt he’d care.”

“Then you really don’t know him,” said M’Att, sounding defeated. “It doesn’t matter that there’s another Neil. _You_ still matter. None of us will be okay if anything happens to you; you know that, right?”

Neil swallowed and looked away, not answering. His throat felt like it was closing in on itself.

“I know you’d rather switch places with the other Neil but that doesn’t mean you’re excess baggage,” said M’Att more delicately. “Please try to remember that we love you?”

Neil cleared his throat. “So what’s happening with the political situation?”

M’Att allowed him the blatant subject change. “The Prince was arrested after the attack on you; you and Marissa managed to fight off the attackers long enough for the guards to arrive and there was clear evidence that the Prince sent them to ruin any alliance with the Nebari. Everything seems to be calming down. Oh, and your engagement has been called off by the Emperor.” M'Att send him an unimpressed look that he ignored.

“Great,” said Neil, abruptly feeling exhausted. “Is Exy back yet? Can we go home? I’m sick of political intrigue.”

“She and Wymack arrived a couple arns ago; we were just waiting for you to wake up. The royal family thinks it would be best if we left quickly.”

“I’m sorry I worried you.”

“I know,” said M’Att, clapping him on the shoulder. “Don’t do it again.”

* * *

“Wymack, we’re heading in,” said Dan happily, piloting the transport pod. “Anything interesting happen while we were away?”

“Exy an I ran into a little… complication,” said Wymack.

“Is everything all right?” asked Renee, her tone worried.

“We are unharmed.”

“What happened?” demanded Allison.

“It will be easier to explain once you’re back on board,” said Wymack. He hesitated before he continued. “We are glad you are back. Exy and I missed your presence.”

“Aw, we missed you, too,” said M’Att.

Kevin was barely paying attention, his mind back on the planet they had just left. He wondered if he had done the right thing.

Laila thought he had. Before he’d left she’d hugged him tightly. “Thank you,” she whispered.

Kevin, choked up, had only been able to nod. “Take care of my kids,” he replied.

Thea nudged him. She’d been watching him closely ever since they’d left. He was grateful for her presence. He dredged up a smile for her, although there was no way it didn't look forced.

“Let’s go,” she said, ushering him out of the pod once it landed in the docking area. “It’s good to be back.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, heading to the docking bay doors. The sight of them now sent a shiver through him, remembering the crunch and blinding pain as they’d closed on his arm. Most of the time he forgot that his arm had been replaced, but the docking bay doors always brought the memories to the fore. “There’s no place like—”

He cut himself off in shock halfway through the doors, coming to a sudden halt. The maintenance bay wasn’t empty; there was a woman waiting for them. Kevin stared at her uncomprehendingly.

“Kevin,” she said. “I need your help.”

“Mom?” he whispered.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains violence, murder, and character injury.

Neil was staring. He was not being subtle about it. He had a feeling that if he could see his expression in a mirror that he would be embarrassed to share a face with the dopey-eyed idiot gazing back out of it. There was something was wrong with him, like he had some kind of brain-worm that had wriggled in there and taken over all of his higher processes. The brain-worm was completely _obsessed_ with Andrew. All it let Neil do was look at him and think about him. He wanted to be touching Andrew at all times, wanted Andrew’s hands on his skin, his warm, calloused palms sending sparks of desire along his veins.

He was aware that Andrew was taken aback by Neil’s recent increased sexual appetite. Ever since they’d been dosed with drexin— over twenty solars ago now— Neil had practically been insatiable. He was pretty sure he knew what was happening (and it wasn’t a brain-worm).

Nebari had naturally low sex drives due to evolving to deal with harsh winters on their home planet. It was untenable for offspring to be born during that time. Instead, Nebari had evolved a response to a hormone produced by native plants in the spring that sent their libidos into overdrive and caused pair-bonding, ensuring that a couple would get to work producing the next generation while the weather allowed. Drexin was similar to that plant hormone, which was the most likely explanation for his recent attachment to Andrew.

Neil wasn’t planning on explaining this to Andrew any time soon, as it involved detailing how pair-bonding was permanent and irreversible among his people. Telling Andrew would reveal the depth of his feelings. The last time he’d tried to do that, he hadn’t noticed that Andrew was being controlled by an evil chip (he was still annoyed at himself for this lapse; _Other_ Neil had noticed right away and had been incredibly judgmental about Neil’s failure to do the same). After Neil word-vomited his feelings up, Andrew had told him he loved him and then caved his head in. He had no desire to repeat the experience.

His sex drive would revert to normal eventually. They might as well enjoy the increase while it lasted.

“Staring,” said Andrew, not looking up from his pilot display panel.

“Yup,” agreed Neil, not seeing a need to lie and deny it. “Does it bother you? I’ll stop if it bothers you.”

Andrew didn’t answer, so Neil assumed he didn’t mind. In fact, he suspected that Andrew quite enjoyed the fact that Neil was being so obvious about his attraction.

“You’re supposed to be finding a habitable planet to land on,” said Andrew.

Neil scowled and turned back to the star maps he was studying. “It’s not like we can just throw a stone and hit one,” he complained, for probably the sixth time. “Especially since we’ve been avoiding populated systems in an effort to draw out the hunters.”

There was something wrong with the air filtration system. According to Katelyn it was a minor fault and a straightforward fix, but it required shutting off the entire atmospheric system while it was repaired. Which meant they had to land somewhere they wouldn’t all suffocate. And, as both Andrew and Aaron had repeatedly pointed out, provide the hunters a chance to attack them when they were vulnerable.

But they didn’t have any other option. If they didn’t fix the problem they’d be completely unable to filter toxins out of the air in fifteen or sixteen solars.

Neil widened his search criteria. He hadn’t been able to find anywhere close that met their needs, so he was going to have to be less picky. He took into account their current position, vector, and top speed and then started a system-by-system survey of planets and moons.

“Hold up,” he said, looking at the specs of the fourth planet in the sixth system he’d checked.

“Find something?” asked Andrew.

“Maybe,” said Neil, double-checking the known information. “There’s a moon in orbit around the fourth planet of the Belmonte system. It’s basically a cesspit but I think it could work.”

“Sounds charming.”

“Atmosphere’s a little higher in methane and sulphur than ideal…” muttered Neil. “Gravity’s about two and half times standard, which should make lifting off fun… the poles are barren and frozen… but there’s a stretch of jungle-like terrain around the equator, which may provide some cover.” He looked up at Andrew. “We can’t stay for an extended period of time but it should be okay for a solar or so.”

“So it’s stinky, high in gravity so everything will be twice as hard, and any precipitation will be acidic? What a wonderful holiday spot you’ve found for us.”

“Do I know how to treat my life mate, or what?” Neil looked up to find Andrew giving him a strange look. “What?” he asked, wondering what had put that expression on Andrew’s face.

Andrew shook his head. “Nothing,” he said, turning back to his own panel. “Setting a course for the Belmonte system now. We should get there in about fourteen arns.”

* * *

Neil may have been generous when he’d called this moon a cesspit. Andrew found an area to land that their sensors couldn’t easily penetrate, hoping that the vegetation would help obscure their location from anyone who might be after them. For the repairs, Katelyn had to vent the Marauder. Although technically breathable, the air smelled bad and was soupy and thick with humidity and pollutants that made it feel like they were trying to breath underwater. Even with that consideration, the worst part was the high gravity. Everything took much more effort to do and the longer they were grounded it worse it seemed. Especially since if they _were_ attacked, they would all be fatigued from working at high gravity and their attackers would be fresh.

Katelyn and Neil were performing most of the repairs, with Andrew and Aaron helping out as much as they could. Erik, who was generally easy-going and able to follow directions (he was also taller than the rest of them, which meant he didn’t always need a stool or a boost like they did) was also helping, while Nicky had been made to stay in command and monitor the sensor readouts for any signs of trouble.

Neil yelped and jumped away from a panel as it shocked him. “Aaron, you made those connections backwards again,” he complained but there was no heat to it. Getting mad or arguing with each other was too much work considering how exhausted they all were.

“None of this makes any sense,” grumbled Aaron, setting about fixing the connection he’d screwed up. “Both wires are coming from the same place. What does it matter which colour connects to which?”

“Your mouth leads both to your lungs and your stomach,” said Andrew. “There’s a problem if food ends up in your lungs and air in your stomach. Just pretend it’s anatomy.”

“Oh,” said Aaron, looking back at what he was doing. “Green is lungs, blue is stomach. Yeah, I think that might help.” He cleared his throat and avoided eye contact. “Thanks,” he said, so quickly and quietly that Andrew almost missed it.

Andrew wasn’t surprised; he understood how Aaron thought. “I had to pretend it was flight paths when I was figuring it out,” he admitted, shrugging one shoulder, which was all that he had energy for. Honestly, even if he had a naked and eager Neil spread out underneath him right now, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to do anything but collapse on top of him and fall asleep. The high gravity was taking its toll.

“How much longer?” he asked Katelyn.

“About two hundred microts less than the last time you asked,” she replied.

“Is there any way to speed this up? Right now we’re sitting on a duck.”

Neil caught his eye and smiled tiredly. “We’re _sitting ducks_ ,” he corrected. “I can’t believe you’re speaking Human. I knew you were lying about not missing Kevin.”

“I do not miss Kevin,” replied Andrew stubbornly. That would be absurd; Kevin was someone he’d agreed to protect not a— a _friend_. The human expression had just slipped out; he liked some of the sayings that Kevin used. They had a nice ring to them.

“What’s a… duck?” said Katelyn, repeating the word slowly.

“From what I understand, some kind of avian animal,” said Neil. “Although maybe also aquatic? Apparently they live in ponds but can fly.”

Andrew pictured a large lizard that could swim under the water before leaping up and taking flight. Maybe they could even be tamed and ridden, like the garga beasts that lived on the Venek homeworld. Although that sounded too awesome for the planet that had produced Kevin. Ducks were probably boring and disappointing just like everything else about him.

“Uh, guys?” said Nicky over comms, sounding worried.

“This can’t be good,” muttered Andrew.

“There’s an incoming ship; it’s trying to mask itself but the ident matches the one we have for the genetic hunters.”

Andrew shook his head, trying to clear his exhaustion. “Is there any way for us to run?” he asked Katelyn.

She frowned. “No. We have to finish these repairs before we can take off again.”

“Is the ship landing?” Aaron asked Nicky.

“I don’t think they can triangulate our position but the interference that’s protecting us is also affecting our sensors. As far as I can tell, they’re a couple metras away.”

“We’re at a disadvantage,” Andrew said quietly to Aaron. “I’m not quite feeling up to facing an entire commando squad.”

Aaron grimaced. “I have a way around that,” he said. “But it’s not going to be pleasant.”

* * *

“Have you ever taken one of these before?” Aaron asked, readying the shot of pure adrenaline.

“Yes,” said Andrew, shuddering. Erik gave him a puzzled look, clearly unnerved by Andrew’s reaction.

“It’ll basically make you feel like a god,” Aaron explained anyway. “You’ll be stronger and faster than normal, you’ll be able to shrug off pain almost completely and you’ll feel like you can do anything. For about two arns. Then you’re going to crash harder than you’ve ever crashed before and with the gravity here it’s going to be even worse than usual. Make sure you’re back on board when that happens or someone’s going to have to drag your heavy body back here.”

“The last time I did this, I couldn’t get out of bed for two solars afterwards,” said Andrew. “I know the risks.”

“Right,” said Aaron. “I have four doses. We’ll each take one and carry one extra.” He handed over a syringe for Andrew to secure to his gun belt. “We have just under two arns to get rid of the hunters and get back before it wears off. The second syringe is _only_ to be used as an absolute last resort; two shots so close together can make your heart explode. Understand?”

Andrew nodded. “We’re going to take out as many of them as we can,” he told Erik. “Stay near the Marauder; you’ll be the last line of defense if anything gets past us.” Erik was not a Peacekeeper. However, he _was_ a Sebacean and all Sebaceans had mandatory military training as a part of their education, but he’d never undergone any of the extensive training that Andrew and Aaron had. Still, he was their only possible option for backup, as Neil and Katelyn needed to fix the ship.

“Ready?” asked Aaron.

“Ready,” replied Andrew. He inhaled as Aaron injected him, and let the adrenaline course through him. All his weariness and aches disappeared instantly and his head buzzed with anticipation of the coming fight. He could barely stay still as Aaron injected himself. Andrew watched as his pupils expanded rapidly, blotting out all the colour until his eyes looked like Neil’s. He avoided thinking about what he and Neil could do together in this state. Instead, he hefted his pulse rifle and led the others out of the Marauder.

The jungle outside was awful and humid. Andrew could already feel the sweat beading on his forehead. The smell was even worse out here or else the adrenaline had sharpened Andrew’s senses. He didn’t let himself think about any of that, except for the small part of his brain that was cataloguing their surroundings. His focus narrowed on their quarry and he strode confidently into the underbrush.

Aaron left Erik behind as a sentry and followed. It was very quiet. Andrew could hear Aaron behind him, shuffling and breathing loudly. Outside of that, there was the occasional hiss from one of the nearby acid pools. There was no evidence of life, native or otherwise. They were on communications lockdown with the Marauder but they did have a handheld scanner that showed the approximate landing area of the hunters. As they drew nearer, Andrew had them slow down and spread out. There may have been only two of them, but jacked up on adrenaline no one was a match for them. He caught movement to his left, creeping through the trees and vines, he found two Peacekeeper commandos. They were not aware of his presence, so he slipped a knife out of his sleeve and crouched down to wait for them to pass him.

Neither saw him coming. Two down.

He circled back to where Aaron was. He met him in a clearing, Aaron wiping his knife on his pants and wearing a grim expression.

“I got one,” he whispered when Andrew got close enough.

Andrew nodded in acknowledgement, and pointed left. He took a step in that direction as a pulse rifle sounded, the bolt hitting where Andrew had been standing only microts previously. He returned fire as he ran to cover. He could hear a commando shouting nearby before being suddenly silenced. He picked up a rock, which burned his hand when he touched it. He tossed into the jungle as a decoy, surveying the trees for any signs of his attacker.

The rock hit the ground with a thump and a pulse blast shot it, giving Andrew a good idea of where the Peacekeeper was. Aaron came back into view and began laying down suppressive fire as Andrew charged to the shooter’s hiding place.

It was a woman, short and blonde and older than he was. His gun jammed as soon as he was upon her, obviously malfunctioning in the high gravity. He threw it aside and jumped at her, knife in hand. She blocked his attack with her own pulse rifle and tried to deflect him but her strength wasn’t anywhere near his adrenaline-enhanced own. He kicked her feet out from under her and knocked her over. She got a hand on his wrist and dragged him down.

They rolled, trading punches, until Andrew came out on top. With her pinned beneath him, he knocked her unconscious and unsheathed his knife again.

“Stop!” yelled Aaron, running into the clearing.

Andrew immediately went alert for danger. When none became apparent he asked, “What?”

“Andrew, don’t,” panted Aaron. “You can’t.”

“Why not?” asked Andrew, looking back down at the completely unremarkable woman.

“Because,” said Aaron, “that’s our mother.”

Andrew wondered how Aaron knew that. He’d never known or cared which woman had birthed them. “So?” he asked.

Aaron didn’t look like he was expecting that response.

Andrew turned away from him to kill the woman; he didn’t see when Aaron swung his pulse rifle and cracked him across the head. All he knew, as he succumbed to unconsciousness, was that his brother had finally repaid his past betrayal.

* * *

The high gravity didn’t affect Neil quite as much as the others. The gravity on Nebari Prime was a little above galactic standard, which was why Nebari were generally shorter than other species. Neil’s father had been born in one of the colonies so had grown much taller than average, but Neil himself had been born and spent his formative years on Nebari Prime. The higher gravity bothered him much less than it did Andrew and Aaron who had been born and bred on ships and had spent all their lives living at standard gravity.

Still, he was not enjoying their time on the moon. Especially now that Andrew was out there, somewhere, fighting commandos where Neil couldn’t watch his back. He didn’t like the powerlessness that gripped him when he imagined Andrew in danger. This was why his mother had banned him from relationships: caring about people made him stupid and vulnerable.

He exhaled in relief when he heard the outer airlock open and several pairs of feet stumble into the ship. The outer door would only open for authorized people, which meant that the others were back. He looked up to the entrance to the engine room, a quip ready for Andrew.

His words died on his lips. Erik was there, but he was bound and his face was bruised. There was a Peacekeeper soldier behind him, hidden mostly from Neil’s view but for the hand that held a pulse pistol to Erik’s head.

Neil made a startled sound, attracting Katelyn’s attention. She looked over at Erik. It took her a couple microts to understand what she was seeing but when she did, she froze and paled. One of her hands wavered slightly. Neil understood her distress: Andrew and Aaron would only have let this happen if they were incapacitated.

Neil’s heart seized in his chest. For all that he had been worried about Andrew he’d never actually considered that he might fail. He tried to push down his feelings, as he had when his mother had died. He would be able to shake apart later; right now he had a situation to deal with. He surreptitiously tapped his communicator to open a line to Nicky. He didn’t think Nicky would be much use but letting him sit obliviously in command meant there was absolutely no chance he could prove helpful.

“Do not resist or we will kill you companion,” said the Peacekeeper with his gun against Erik’s temple. “I am commandeering this vessel.”

“Over my dead body,” spat Katelyn.

Neil resisted the urge to smack her. Daring the man with an advantage to kill her wasn’t the best tactic.

“That can be arranged,” said the Peacekeeper. “Maria, restrain her.”

Neil hadn’t seen the second Peacekeeper until she came into the engine room. Neil stayed on his knees, his head bowed and his hands up showing they were empty. His mind whirled with plans. It was important that they underestimated him. They naturally would because they were Peacekeeper soldiers and all Peacekeeper soldiers believed that Sebaceans were superior. If he could play into that, they might overlook him, leave him unsupervised long enough that he could get his hands on a weapon. There only seemed to be two of them; obviously Andrew had put up a fight before he went down. Neil forced himself to focus on the present.

Katelyn tried to resist, but the other woman was a trained commando and was armed with more than a wrench. It wasn’t long before Katelyn was unconscious and tied up. Neil had thought that during the altercation he could palm something useful, but the Peacekeeper behind Erik kept his beady eyes on Neil the entire time. His expression screamed contempt and outright hatred, which served to chill Neil’s blood. This man despised him, and he had no idea if it was something he’d done— like help blow up the Gammak base— or just because of who he was. He lowered his own eyes in deference.

Once Maria was finished with Katelyn, she looked back to the other Peacekeeper, who was obviously in charge.

“Any other objections?” he asked.

“No,” said Neil. “But this ship is malfunctioning. It won’t fly without repair.” He coyly glanced up under his eyelashes, trying to discern if any of his usual distraction tactics would work. “I can help you fix it?”

“Keep your eyes down, you foreign tralk,” commanded the Peacekeeper. Well, that answered that. Neil felt relieved; he didn’t think he could stomach it if the man _had_ wanted him. And he wouldn’t willingly be unfaithful to Andrew. “Don’t speak unless spoken to.”

It chafed Neil to obey— he wouldn’t be able to handle this for long before his temper and his tongue got the better of him— but he did so.

“Secure him and then perform a damage assessment,” said the Peacekeeper, pushing Erik into the engine room and forcing him to sit against the bulkhead. Meanwhile, Maria bound Neil (loosely, with rope instead of cuffs. A stroke of good luck; he’d escaped from better bindings while seriously injured) and turned to the atmospheric system, placing her pulse pistol on the console beside her. _Careless_ , thought Neil, already starting work on loosening his bindings. Any lapse in attention from the leader and he’d be able to free himself and get the gun.

He slid his eyes toward Erik, waited until they made eye contact, then quickly shifted his gaze first to the pistol and then to the Peacekeeper who was watching over them. He hoped Erik would understand and cause a distraction when needed.

 _Almost there_ , he thought as he worked on his bindings. _Another couple microts and_ …

Nicky appeared in the entrance, visibly shaking, but whether in anger or fear Neil didn’t know. Maria grabbed her pulse pistol and Neil almost groaned in frustration. He’d been _so close_.

Nicky didn’t spare a look for the woman. His focus was completely on the man, who was looking at him as if he was a particularly grotesque insect.

“Hello, Father,” said Nicky, his voice quivering.

* * *

Andrew snapped awake. The adrenaline was still coursing through his system, so he felt no pain, but he could actually see his heartbeat in his vision. That likely wasn’t a good sign; he probably had a concussion.

He was restrained, tied up with vines that seemed to be slightly corrosive, just like everything else on this horrible moon. He itched where the vines touched his unprotected skin.

Aaron was crouched down in front of him, watching him in apprehension. The Peacekeeper woman was also restrained and still unconscious; at least Aaron hadn’t betrayed him completely.

Andrew rolled his neck. “How hard did you hit me?” he asked. With the adrenaline shot, he should have shrugged off the attack.

“It’s a matter of placement, not force,” said Aaron, after a slight pause. It seemed that he’d been expecting recrimination instead of honest curiosity. Andrew wasn’t particularly _pleased_ with the turn of events but he knew Aaron like he knew himself. He had done this for a reason and threats from Andrew wouldn’t change his mind. “I hit your lateral nerve.” Of course. Sebaceans had nerve between their jaw and their ear that could render them unconscious if hit the right way. It was notoriously difficult to hit properly— Andrew had never been able to reliably take out his sparring partners that way, though he had tried— but Aaron’s knowledge of anatomy served him well.

“Why?”

Aaron looked torn, glancing at the woman, who was now beginning to stir. “You were going to kill her.”

“Yes,” agreed Andrew.

“She’s our _mother_.”

“She’s an incubator,” said Andrew. “She may have carried us, but she’s not our mother. We don’t have a mother. We are clones.”

Aaron winced. “Not exact clones.”

“What do you mean? We’re obviously Minyards.”

“Yes, but all the Minyard clones received traits from their mothers as well as from the Admiral.”

That brought Andrew up short. “How do you know?”

Aaron snorted. “Medic, remember? I looked it up. We were a new experiment, using the female carrier’s genetic material to add or emphasize certain traits in the clones.”

“Why does that matter?”

Aaron studied the woman again. “I’ve never told anyone this, but when I was a child, only four or five cycles, a woman— _that_ woman— woke me up in the middle of the night. She told me she was our mother. She’d volunteered to carry us because she and Admiral Minyard had fallen in love and we were the product of that love.”

Andrew gave him a flat look. “You believed a fairy story like that?”

“For cycles I thought it was a dream,” admitted Aaron. “But it makes sense! Think about it: you and I have never been the perfect clones we were expected to be. We’ve always been different from the others. And this is the reason why. Our ability to love comes from her!”

“You saw her once when you were five and half-asleep,” Andrew pointed out. “There’s no guarantee that this woman is the same one you saw, it’s not like short and blonde are _rare_ traits for a Peacekeeper. And if it is the same woman you have no idea if she was telling you the truth or if she was delusional.” He was fighting a losing battle in keeping his temper under control. It was getting away from him, fuelled by his heightened adrenaline. Only his iron will had kept him patient this long. “For that you’ve knocked me out and left our crewmates vulnerable?”

Aaron faltered, as if he’d somehow forgotten about them.

“Do you even know if there are other hunters around? I killed two; how many did you get?”

“Two,” said Aaron.

“Plus her is five. That means that there are at least a couple still out there, probably three.” Andrew started struggling, needing to find the other hunters and kill them before they could get close to Neil. The vines were slightly elastic. He thought he may be able to snap them if he applied enough force.

“Erik could have stopped them,” said Aaron, but he sounded unsure.

“If anything happened to _anyone_ that we were supposed to protect…”

“They’re fine,” said Aaron stubbornly.

Andrew shook his head in disgust. “What’s your plan?”

“I want to talk to her.”

“You’re willing to risk their lives— even the woman who you claim to _love_ — to talk to her?”

“Yes,” said Aaron.

“You’d better hope she wakes up soon,” said Andrew, straining, “because as soon as I’m free from these vines I’m going to kill you both.”

* * *

Neil reassessed the lead Peacekeeper, who he now knew to be Luther Hemmick. There wasn’t anything in his appearance that he had passed down to his son. Neil wondered if that was a comfort to Nicky; personally, he had always despaired about how closely he resembled his own father, as he often couldn’t handle seeing his own reflection.

Hemmick’s top lip curled as he watched Nicky. “Do you know how much trouble you’ve caused me? After everything you owe me?”

“How much trouble _I’ve_ caused _you_?” echoed Nicky, shrilly. “You _murdered_ my mother! You sent me and the man I love to prison! I owe you nothing!”

“You owe me your life.”

“Yes, _thank you_ for being unable to keep it in your pants and spreading your genetic material around indiscriminately.” The hand that Nicky was holding the pulse pistol with was shaking violently. Neil wasn’t sure what he’d hit if he accidentally fired.

“Don’t be crude,” admonished Hemmick. “That was not what I was referring to.”

“What are you talking about?”

Hemmick’s expression conveyed how little he thought of Nicky’s intelligence. “Do you really think that I didn’t know that your mother sent you away? I could have easily tracked you down. And when I found out that you had repaid my generosity by polluting a pure Sebacean by marrying him? I should have killed you then, but instead I used my influence to have you sent to a detainment colony instead. And you repaid _that_ kindness by escaping and corrupting loyal Peacekeepers! I have given you every opportunity to fade into obscurity and live your life but you keep insisting on being defiant! So this time I’m not going to leave you an opportunity to embarrass me.”

Nicky’s mouth fell open during his father’s rant and he stilled completely. “You seem to be forgetting which of us is holding a gun.”

“You’re not going to shoot me,” said Hemmick dismissively. “You don’t have the—” He was cut off by Nicky’s shot.

Neil shook off his loose bindings and tackled the final commando before she could shoot Nicky in retaliation. They fell to the floor, the two of them grappling for her pistol. They rolled, punching and scratching, until a single shot sounded. Neil stared up at her as her eyes widened in surprise and she collapsed on top of him.

He pushed her body off him and got his bearings. Nicky was shaking, staring at his father’s corpse. Hemmick had slumped to the ground, his glassy, dead eyes stunned.

“Nicky,” said Neil, approaching him slowly.

Nicky looked up at the sound of his name but didn’t seem to be seeing anything in front of him.

“Nicky,” said Neil again, gingerly unwrapping the other man’s iron grip from around the pulse pistol. “Go check on Erik.”

Nicky nodded dumbly and went to untie Erik, who gathered him up in his arms as soon as he was free and started whispering words of comfort and love.

Their intimacy only served to remind Neil that Andrew was most likely dead. Feeling hollow, he untied and revived Katelyn.

“Fix the ship,” he said without inflection. “I’m going to go find them.”

“I killed one commando before they subdued me,” said Erik, looking up. “I don’t know where the others are.”

“Neil,” said Katelyn. “You know that they’re probably…” she trailed off, not able to say the words as her eyes filled.

“I know,” said Neil. “But I’m not leaving them on this horrible moon. They would want their bodies to rest in space.”

* * *

Andrew was getting more and more irritated that he hadn’t yet freed himself from the vines. Neil would have already wriggled out of them but he did not have Neil’s knack for escaping restraints. Maybe he should ask Neil to teach him. They could take turns tying each other up and— now was not the time to think about that.

The Peacekeeper woman woke with a start and struggled against her own bindings.

“You are Tilda Hemmick,” said Aaron, not quite a question but not quite a definitive statement, either.

Tilda looked up at him, her eyes narrowing. “And you are a Minyard.”

“Not just any Minyard,” said Aaron. “I’m Aaron. I’m your son.”

“Any _son_ I would care to have would be a loyal Peacekeeper,” spat Tilda, “All I see before me is a traitor.”

“Hemmick,” said Andrew, interjecting as Aaron’s face clouded. “As in Luther Hemmick?”

Tilda looked over at him with thinly concealed dislike. “My brother.”

“It seems that ill-advised relationships run in the family, brother,” said Andrew. “Maybe you were always destined to fall for your tech girl. If you’re so desperate for more familial connections, Nicky seems like a better bet than this woman.” He managed to twist his hands enough that he could almost reach his weapons belt, his fingertips questing for a knife.

Aaron ignored him, his gaze intent on Tilda. “Do you deny that you’re our mother? That you came to me once to tell me that we were born from your love of our father?”

Tilda’s face twisted in anger. “I was young and foolish.”

“You went against regulations,” said Aaron.

“And I paid for it!” she hissed. “Until that night, nobody knew of my feelings. But my confession to you was recorded and I was sent to undergo punishment and correction.”

“What punishment?” Aaron leaned forward, caught up in her story. Andrew fingers closed around something cylindrical that he didn’t immediately recognize.

“I was still in the prime of my service, but your father was older, close to retirement. I was made to kill him.”

“But you loved him,” protested Aaron.

“Love is a fallacy,” sneered Tilda. “I expected them to have me kill the two of you as well, but you were still young and trainable. If I’d known the taint you carried, I would have gladly murdered you with my own hands.”

Andrew ran his fingertips along his extra syringe of adrenaline and considered his options. If he injected it, he would surely be able to break his bonds but there was also the possibility that he’d drop dead instead. Decisions, decisions.

“You broke the rules once,” said Aaron. “We inherited that ability to defy from you. Break them again. Tell your superiors that we’re dead and break off the hunt for us.”

Tilda glared up at him. “I’d rather die a loyal Peacekeeper than aid an… an _abomination_ like you.”

“Tough luck, Aaron,” said Andrew, carefully uncapping the syringe. “Seems that mummy doesn’t love you anymore.” Aaron frowned at him. “Let me go,” continued Andrew. “We’ll kill her and find the others.”

“We can’t—”

Andrew hushed Aaron’s reply. “Did you hear that?” he asked, dropping his voice low. He thought he’d heard something moving through the vegetation.

They fell into silence, straining to hear if someone was sneaking up on them.

“Luther!” shouted Tilda suddenly. “One with a weapon! They have me restrained—” Aaron hit her to shut her up.

There was a heavy silence. Then, “Andrew?” called Neil tentatively.

“Neil,” Andrew called back in relief. Aaron’s unexpected sentimentality hadn’t gotten him killed. He shouldn’t be surprised; Neil had proven himself exceptionally slippery. Andrew was half-convinced that he couldn’t be killed. “Untie me,” he told Aaron.

Aaron gave in and cut Andrew free. He found the syringe in Andrew’s hands, grabbing it and capping it with a displeased scoff. Andrew got to his feet and turned to look at Aaron who was still visibly conflicted.

“I can’t let you kill her,” he said pleadingly.

“And what?” asked Andrew. “If we let her go, she’ll report back to command and get a new team. She’ll hunt us down again and again. I thought the purpose of this little walkabout was to get rid of the hunters?”

Neil came into the clearing, taking in the scene with characteristic quickness. Ignoring the Peacekeeper, he focused on Andrew. “We thought you were dead,” he said, the look in his eyes pure intensity. Andrew approached him as he continued speaking, “Two commandos made it on board.”

“You took out two commandos?” said Aaron in disbelief.

“Nicky helped.”

Andrew raised an eyebrow at the unexpected sentence as he checked Neil for injury.

“Was anyone hurt?” asked Aaron, guilt and worry warring in his tone.

Andrew ran his hand along Neil’s back and leaned in close. “Take him away from here,” he said in an undertone so Aaron couldn’t hear him.

Neil locked eyes with him briefly, before stepping away from Andrew and beckoning Aaron. “Katelyn got knocked on the head,” he said. “Come make sure it’s not serious before you crash from the adrenaline.”

Aaron gave Tilda a tortured look. “Was he right?” he asked. “He was, wasn’t he? If we let you live, you’ll never stop hunting us.”

“I am a Peacekeeper. Do you expect me to beg for my life? To lie? I don’t care if you are my sons. Your brother was correct: I will hunt you down and I will kill you.”

“I’ll take care of it,” said Andrew. “Go with Neil back to the ship.”

Aaron swallowed and nodded, turning away looking devastated.

Neil caught Andrew’s eye. “Are you sure? I can do it; she’s no one to me.”

“Who is she to me?” retorted Andrew. “Make sure Aaron doesn’t see.”

Neil nodded and ushered Aaron away.

Andrew waited until he could no longer hear them. He catalogued the woman, his mother.

“Why did you tell him?” he asked. “When he was a child? Why did you do it?”

“I wanted someone to know.”

“Why him? Why not me?”

“Are you jealous?” she sneered. “Worried that I loved him more?”

“No,” said Andrew. “Just curious.”

“Maybe it’s because I could only see one of you and I went alphabetically, or maybe I found his room assignment first. Maybe I just liked him better. I guess you’ll never know.”

“Guess so,” said Andrew flicking the safety off his weapon.

She steeled herself. “Make it quick.”

“I owe you nothing,” he said. “But on the off chance that my defiance and ability to love come from you as Aaron claims, I’ll grant you a clean death as thanks.”

The shot echoed through the quiet jungle.

* * *

“Andrew.”

He felt as if he were swimming through a cloudy, viscous substance. It was cool and dark and safe and he didn’t want to leave.

“Andrew.”

But the voice calling him was one he’d follow anywhere.

Andrew blinked awake, angrily squinting in the light. He moaned unhappily and buried his face in his pillow.

“I know,” said Neil, sounding amused. “I’m sorry.” He stroked a hand through Andrew’s hair and Andrew made an appreciative noise.

“You have a concussion,” Neil told him. “Before he passed out, Aaron said to wake you up every couple arns.”

He was exhausted; the combination of the adrenaline crash and the high gravity had taken its toll. Even if there was an emergency, he wasn’t going to be able to do anything.

Speaking of emergencies…

Andrew made an inquisitive noise, hoping Neil would figure out what he was asking.

“We’re off the moon,” said Neil, answering Andrew’s unspoken question and proving himself on Andrew’s wavelength as he always was. “I found the hunter’s Marauder. Katelyn and I figured out how to send out a report detailing our gruesome deaths.” His hand had stopped stroking Andrew’s hair, so Andrew made a sound of protest. Neil chuckled and resumed petting him. “We sent the Marauder off on a set trajectory. In a solar it’s going to send out a distress signal and then explode. We’re hoping that they’ll believe we’re dead, so they won’t send out any more genetic hunters.”

Andrew hummed in approval.

“Okay, go back to sleep,” said Neil. “I’ll be back in a couple arns.”

Andrew reached out and grabbed Neil’s arm, dragging him down onto the bed and rolling on top of him to stop him from leaving.

Neil laughed. “You want me to stay?” he guessed. He put both hands back into Andrew’s hair and started rubbing soothing circles.

Andrew melted and nuzzled his face between Neil’s neck and shoulder.

“You know,” said Neil, “no one’s going to believe me when I tell them you’re cuddly when you’re tired and injured.” He kissed Andrew’s temple. “I thought you were dead,” he whispered, and his fingers tightened minutely in Andrew’s hair. “I’d be lost without you.”

“Then you’ll never be lost,” muttered Andrew into his skin.

Neil worked his fingers into the divot at the base of his skull, making him go completely boneless. “Go back to sleep,” whispered Neil. “I’ll keep you safe.”

His words comforted Andrew, and he fell back into unconsciousness warm and secure with Neil safe beneath him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @wafflehouseisdabomb [made fanart with sleepy andreil cuddles!!](https://gluupor.tumblr.com/post/187903687948/wafflehouseisdabomb-gluupor-s-the-wonders) Go like and reblog!


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains violence, injury, and character death.

“Wymack, who is this?” said Dan in a forcibly controlled voice, her gun aimed unerringly at the unexpected visitor.

Kevin wanted to protest, but he could only stare in shock at his mother, his brain firing on all cylinders but producing nothing but sparks.

“A wormhole opened up beside us when Exy was venting her interior,” said Wymack. “She appeared on board when it did.”

“Appeared—” echoed Kevin. He squared his jaw. “You are not my mother,” he said sharply.

“No,” the woman said, in a perfect replica of his mother’s accent, “I am not.”

“Who are you?” demanded Dan.

“I am a member of a race of advanced beings that lives in an adjacent realm,” she replied. She nodded to Kevin and Thea, “Your friends have encountered me before.”

“Stop looking like her,” Kevin grit out.

“I can’t,” she said, sounding apologetic. “I chose this form as the one that would produce the least hostility from you and I can’t change it now. My powers are greatly diminished in this realm.”

“What’s your name?” asked Neil. “Or is it still unimportant?”

“I am called—” she made an irreproducible noise that sounded vaguely like static. She gave them all a little half-grin, an expression so familiar to Kevin that it made him ache. “You can call me Kayleigh.”

Kevin closed his eyes and shook his head but let it go. The faster they figured out what was going on, the faster this imposter who wore his mother’s face would leave. “You said you needed my help?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said, her attention snapping to him completely. “There have been incursions into wormholes recently that threaten us. You need to stop. I thought my warning before was enough but apparently it was not.”

“Hold on a moment,” said Kevin, raising a hand. “It’s not me. I haven’t been in a wormhole since we last saw you.”

Thea cleared her throat. “Except for a short trip to an unrealized reality,” she said, with a pointed look at Neil.

“Right, I’d forgotten,” said Kevin.

“Lucky you,” muttered Neil.

Kevin ignored him. “Was that the problem? We will not repeat it; the ship we used was destroyed.”

“The Pathfinder vessel does not concern us,” said Kayleigh dismissively. “It is this one that is the issue.” She indicated Kevin’s module. “It has increasingly been making sojourns into wormholes and if you continue this foolishness you may pierce through to our home. I have been tasked to ensure that doesn’t happen.”

Kevin shared confused glances with his shipmates.

“You’re definitely wrong,” said Allison stridently. “Much as I dislike Kevin, he’s not lying. That module has been sitting safely on board for over a quarter cycle. No wormhole sightings at all.”

“But…” said Kayleigh at a loss. She threw up a hand and a recording starting shimmering in the air between them, like a hologram. The silvery-blue tunnel of a wormhole was shown, as was what appeared to be his shuttle, shakily flying through the turbulence. “Do you deny that this is your craft?”

“It certainly looks like it,” said M’Att dubiously.

“But it’s impossible,” argued Dan. “We would have _noticed_ if this was happening. Or Wymack would have, at least. Wymack?”

“Commander Day has not been clandestinely flying his module into wormholes without your knowledge,” said Wymack. Kevin could swear he sounded sarcastic.

Kevin stared at the recording, dumbfounded. It _looked_ like his module.

“Wait,” he said, noticing something. “There. Look. It’s missing the IASA decal.” He pointed at his own module, where the paint of the International Aeronautics and Space Administration logo was chipping off. “It’s a copy— a very good copy,” he admitted, “but just a copy.”

“That does not absolve you,” said Kayleigh. “A copy must have a template. Who have you shared your designs with?”

“No one,” said Kevin, still bewildered. “I mean, some people on Earth would have the original plans but they wouldn’t know anything about the modifications that Katelyn and Neil and I made. And almost no one out here has seen it.” He paused. “Except…”

“Except?” prompted Kayleigh, sounding stern.

It was unfair that the being in front of him was indistinguishable from his mother. He’d never been able to ignore that tone from her.

“Except for Knox,” he said, reluctantly. “He got a good look at the module and I shared my wormhole readings with him.”

“Knox?” asked Dan. “That mechanic back in the Uessey system? On the desert planet?”

“Yeah, with the solar flares,” said Kevin. “He was nice; I’m sure he’s not doing anything malicious.”

“His intentions are not my concern,” said Kayleigh. “He must be stopped.”

“But, like, _nicely_ , right?” asked M’Att. “You’re not planning on killing him, are you?”

Kayleigh watched him silently for several beats. “We will see,” she said, obviously the most she was willing to concede. “This technology cannot be allowed to be spread indiscriminately through your realm. You cannot imagine the harm that can be done: both to us and to you.”

“I don’t know about the rest of you but I found that _really_ reassuring,” said Allison dryly.

* * *

“I hate to disagree,” started Seth.

“No you don’t,” said Kevin in annoyance. “You love disagreeing! You do nothing _but_ disagree and advocate the most selfish option.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t be calling others selfish right now,” said Allison. “I mean, the only reason you want to help her is that a) she looks like your long lost mommy, and b) because she had significant wormhole knowledge.”

“You aren’t particularly unbiased when it comes to wormholes,” agreed Renee, although her tone was conciliatory.

“This isn’t about that,” snapped Kevin. “Besides, I’ve given up on going home, remember? I can’t accurately navigate wormholes and I don’t know how to control them.”

“But _she_ can, right?” asked Allison.

“Look,” said Thea reasonably, “I get your concerns but Kayleigh isn’t lying. My people study wormholes, yes, but only under the strictest conditions. Even then, many are wary about wormhole research: the potential for misuse is catastrophic.”

“We know that the Peacekeepers are after the technology,” added Neil. “If there’s any chance they find out what Knox knows…” He shuddered.

“The knowledge must be kept away from Ichirou,” said Jean adamantly.

“What does it matter if he can take shortcuts in his travel?” said Seth.

“Are you stupid or just ignorant?” scoffed Kevin. “If he has the ability to make and navigate wormholes the Peacekeepers could instantly travel to any planet, attack, and retreat before a defense could be mounted. They’d use the technology to control everything they could.”

“And weapons,” said Kayleigh, making all of them jump in surprise. They hadn’t realized she had entered command or heard their discussion. She was supposed to be waiting in the centre chamber until it was decided whether they’d travel back to see Knox or not.

Kevin avoided looking directly at her, but her voice was enough to make him homesick. “Weapons?” he asked.

“Wormholes are not only a means of travel,” she said. “They can be powerful weapons as well.”

“What do you mean?” asked Dan in interest.

“That is not for you to know,” said Kayleigh. “Have you reached a decision? We are running out of time.”

Dan shook her head. “Everyone in favour?”

Kevin raised his hand instantly, as did Thea and, more surprisingly, Jean. Neil deliberated for a couple microts before he, too, voted in favour of going. M’Att and Dan shared a look before both nodding.

“Ayes have it,” said Dan. “Wymack, set a course for the Uessey system.”

“Better hope that the bounty hunters aren’t still there,” said Seth sourly, zipping out of command on his hover chair.

* * *

“What happened here?” said Dan in awe, looking down at the planet on the viewscreen. The planet had already been mostly barren, incapable of sustaining life, but it looked much worse than when they’d last visited over half a cycle ago.

“Stay in the planet’s shadow,” said Kayleigh. “The sun is becoming unstable. It is emitting powerful flares.”

“Knox said that the sun only flared every four cycles,” said Kevin.

“And everyone we’ve ever met has been completely truthful,” said Neil sarcastically.

“He wouldn’t lie to me,” protested Kevin.

“You knew him for, what, half a solar?” asked Neil. “Just because he _also_ was interested in wormholes doesn’t mean he was a nice person.”

“I am an excellent judge of character,” said Kevin haughtily. “Something must have happened to the sun after we left.”

“I’m picking up only sparse lifesigns on the planet,” reported Wymack via holoclam. “The small settlement you visited previously has been almost completely destroyed. All activity is centred around a large bunker.”

“Hostile?” asked Dan.

“Let’s assume yes,” said Allison.

Dan grimaced. “Having that Marauder would be useful right about now. Or any air support.”

“There’s the Prowler,” said Kevin. Andrew had left it on board when he’d gone off with the others. He’d threatened them not to touch it and Kevin had caught him stroking it goodbye before he’d boarded the Marauder.

“There appears to be an AA gun on the roof of the bunker,” said Wymack. “I would not recommend it.”

“Okay,” said Dan through gritted teeth. “We’ll do this the hard way.”

“How very out of character for us,” said Neil dryly.

“Everyone arm yourselves,” said Dan, “and get to the transport pod. We have a bunker to infiltrate.”

* * *

“You know what would be great right about now?” asked Allison breathlessly, ducking behind cover as Neil shot at the attacking aliens.

“Air support?” asked Neil.

“Someone who was bred to be a soldier and knew no other life,” replied Allison. She leapt up and popped off a couple shots, downing one of the enemy combatants.

“Aw, you miss Andrew?” cooed Neil. “How sweet.”

“I don’t _miss_ him,” corrected Allison. “I can’t believe he skipped out when we actually needed his bloodlust; killing is his _one_ use.”

“I can think of more than one use for him,” replied Neil. He picked off the last remaining alien. “Alright, go!”

He and Allison rushed forward, pushing the aliens back. They met up with the others near the entrance of the bunker. For all that they really weren’t a trained or practiced attack force, they were actually doing pretty well. The aliens seemed to be mercenaries, not soldiers.

Of their group, Dan and M’Att were the only ones with actual combat experience: Dan from her time in the Illanic resistance (which had led to her arrest) and M’Att from mandatory Luxan military service before he fell in with a bad crowd and started smuggling. Neil and Renee knew their way around a weapon (and Renee was excellent with explosives), as did Kevin. Thea, although her people may be peaceful, had been trained to defend herself; Allison was determined, as she was about most things; and Jean had no depth perception due to his single functioning eye, which meant that he was not a very good shot but he was at least enthusiastic. Seth had stayed on Exy and Kayleigh waited on the transport pod, saying that her people were completely nonviolent (which struck Neil as a load of dren, as she was clearly willing to kill to safeguard wormhole technology from those who would misuse it).

It certainly helped that all the outer defenses of the bunker didn’t seem to be working. Their assault on it wouldn’t have been nearly as successful had the turrets been functional.

“One last push and we’ll make it inside,” said Dan as they regrouped.

“Does anyone recognize these ugly dralks?” asked M’Att.

“They’re Charrids,” said Jean. “They’re another race that’s been enslaved by the Scarrans, like my people. They’re used as foot soldiers, mercenaries. Cannon fodder.”

“Let’s hope they don’t have any Scarrans with them,” said Neil, wincing from the memory of his recent fight with one. It had been like hitting a particularly solid bulkhead. Scarrans were strong and practically impervious, and their ability to emit a wave of heat from a gland in their wrists gave them a distinct advantage. Most other species’ skin started to blister and burn within microts of being subjected to the heat blast.

“We’ll deal with that if it happens,” said Dan. “No reason to worry about it now.” She made several hand movements that Neil didn’t understand (he doubted that anyone but M’Att did). The gist of them seemed to be to follow her.

The group of them made their way into the bunker, shooting any of the Charrids that got in their way. There were fewer of them than Neil had been expecting. He kept close to Kevin, watching his back as he’d promised Andrew. Allison had been right; Andrew was going to be sorry that he’d missed this.

The bunker wasn’t large; it had two levels connected by curving metal staircases and was made up of a fair number of smaller rooms that appeared to be for storage and a large central room that looked like a mechanic’s workspace. It had a almost-perfect replica of Kevin’s module parked in the middle of it.

Kevin made a small noise when he caught sight of it, redoubling his effort at shooting the Charrids that surrounded it. Once the pulse blasts stopped and the Charrids were all down, Neil realized with a start that they weren’t alone. Along the back wall a man with golden skin was chained up. He was banged up, clearly injured from rough treatment.

“Kevin, mate!” he called cheerfully, sounding as if they’d unexpectedly run into each other in the market as opposed to one of them being chained up in a bunker. “You came to rescue me!”

* * *

“Sun started acting up about fifty solars after you were here,” said Knox, rubbing his wrists. They’d freed him from his chains and secured the rest of the base. Kayleigh had come inside and now Knox was explaining to them what had happened. “No one could figure out why, but the constant, intense flares meant that most people took off for more hospitable planets. I stayed because the flares meant more wormholes.” He shrugged. “I got a pretty good scan of your ship when it was here and with the research you shared I had a head start.”

“What is your interest in wormholes?” asked Kayleigh, her eyes hard.

“Scientific curiosity,” answered Knox affably. “No one knows much about them.”

“What about the Charrids?” asked Dan. “What are they doing here?”

“They came in about twenty solars or so ago,” said Knox, his face troubled. “Killed all my staff. I thought my automated defenses could keep them out but they snuck in from below. I managed to disable the defenses so they couldn’t use them before they caught me.”

“Can you turn those defenses back on?” asked Dan. “There might be more of them out there.”

“Sure,” said Knox, shrugging. “But they’re not our biggest problem. They’re just an advance party.”

“What do you mean?” asked M’Att.

Knox gestured as his computer. “They stole my data and research and transmitted to back to their masters. There’s a Scarran dreadnought on the way here. It’s due in just over four arns.”

There was a stunned silence.

“Our luck is _terrible_ ,” said Allison, kicking at something on the floor. “Ow,” she muttered, limping.

“We cannot let a warlike race gain access to this technology,” said Kayleigh.

“Yeah, we know,” said Dan testily. “You’ve _said_. _Repeatedly_. But we have no way to defeat the Scarrans.”

“A Scarran dreadnought is twice the size of a Peacekeeper Command Carrier,” said Jean helpfully.

“Frell,” said Dan.

Kayleigh didn’t seem to be listening to them, instead her attention was on the phase stabilizer attached to the duplicate module. “I can make something to destroy it,” she said simply. Her eyes locked on Kevin. “But I’m going to need your help.”

* * *

“Explain it again, slower,” said Thea, her eyes hard on Kayleigh. She, Neil, Knox, and Kevin were all interrogating her about her plan; the others had gone to keep an eye on the perimeter.

Kayleigh was visibly impatient with them; this wasn’t the first time they’d made her explain it. “I know how to use this phase stabilizer into a… your languages don’t have the correct words. A displacement engine, of sorts. Suffice it to say, it will be something that can stop the Scarran dreadnought,” she said, falsely sweet. Neil wondered how similar this alien was to the mannerisms of Kevin’s actual mother. Fairly close, he guessed, based on how Kevin kept avoiding looking in her direction. “But I can’t do it alone; I’m lacking familiarity with how exactly the phase stabilizer was made and how your technology is meshing with it.”

“So you want to use some kind of Vulcan mindmeld to share your knowledge of wormholes with me,” said Kevin, using unfamiliar words. Neil committed the Human to memory to ask Kevin about later.

“Why him?” asked Knox. “I’m the one who made this particular phase stabilizer.”

“Based on his design,” said Kayleigh. “Besides, I don’t know you. I have been in Kevin’s mind, seen his innermost thoughts when I created the construct of his planet. I know he will not use this knowledge for ill.”

“But it’s all your knowledge about wormholes, yes?” said Thea testily. “So he’ll be able to create them and navigate them safely?” Kevin looked surprised, as if he hadn’t considered that.

“...Yes,” said Kayleigh reluctantly.

“And then you’ll kill him?” asked Neil, trying to sound as blasé as possible. The others gaped at him. “You said that you came here to make sure that no one had this knowledge. That would mean getting rid of him when you’re done with him.”

“Neil, I’m sure she won’t—” said Kevin.

“No,” said Thea. “Let her answer.”

Kayleigh paused, surveying her audience. “If I thought he posed a threat, then I would have to terminate him.”

“I notice that isn’t a denial,” said Neil. “What, exactly, constitutes a threat?”

“Like, is the ability to make a phase stabilizer a threat?” asked Knox. “Are you going to be putting a bullet in my head, too?”

“I would not use so primitive a weapon,” said Kayleigh haughtily.

“That is not very comforting,” said Kevin.

“The Scarrans are a threat that must be eliminated,” said Kayleigh stubbornly. “We must work together to modify the phase stabilizer and Kevin must deploy it using this module.”

“What is the likelihood that it will kill him to do so?” asked Thea.

“Very minimal, if he deploys it correctly and understands how it works,” replied Kayleigh.

“And you won’t give the rest of us the knowledge so we can make sure you haven’t done anything malicious?” sneered Thea.

“I will not,” said Kayleigh. “His mind is the only one primed for the transfer, since I melded with it to produce the Earth simulation. At least I have an idea what Kevin will do with the knowledge; the rest of you are unknowns.”

“Not complete unknowns,” said Neil as flippantly as he could, given the memories this topic unearthed. “You did make me think I had died three times.”

“And yet you live,” said Kayleigh. “We don’t have time to continue this argument; the Scarran dreadnought draws ever closer. It is up to Kevin.” She looked at him steadily. “Will you accept the wormhole equations I wish to give you?”

Kevin was silent for several moments, staring down at his feet before looking up and catching Kayleigh’s eyes for possibly the first time since he’d realized she wasn’t really his mother. He swallowed nervously and nodded, his eyes darting to Thea, as if in apology or supplication.

“Thank you,” said Kayleigh, reaching out and cupping the side of Kevin’s head maternally. “Let’s get to work.” She turned away.

“Uhhh,” said Knox. “Weren’t you going to give him the information?”

Kayleigh looked at him, baffled. “I just did.”

“I don’t feel any different,” said Kevin.

“Your brain can’t handle a sudden influx of this magnitude,” said Kayleigh. “Trust me, it’s in there. It will take some time for you to be able to consciously access it. For now, it will remain subconscious until needed.”

“Neat,” said Knox, grinning.

“You,” said Kayleigh, pointing at him. “This is your workshop?”

“That it is.”

“A have a list of required components. Bring them to me.”

Knox raised his eyes at Kevin. “I see where you get your directness from.”

“She’s not my mother,” muttered Kevin.

“Is she very different from your real mother?” asked Thea curiously.

“No,” replied Kevin. “That’s what makes this so hard.”

* * *

It was incredibly frustrating to know that the secrets of wormholes were in his brain but remain unable to consciously access said secrets. Kayleigh told him not to think about it, that knowledge would slip into his mind when he was least expecting it but that didn’t stop Kevin from poking at his thoughts as he would similarly be unable to help himself from poking at a sore tooth.

Neil and Thea had gone to help Knox scrounge for components: wave-guides, circuitry, a trans-emitter coil, and nuclear fuel. The latter made Kevin break out in a cold sweat. Especially since Knox said he had 10th of a mallot of partanium isotope but no protection suit. Kayleigh didn’t seem perturbed.

Kevin watched in awe as Kayleigh modified the phase stabilizer with deft fingers. His mother was a pilot not a scientist, although she’d been responsible for many scientific experiments while in space. Her hands were calloused and rough and strong; it was incongruous to watch them performing such delicate work.

She reached for a tool and he stopped her, handing her a different one.

“This one will work better,” he told her.

She looked down at the tool and then to the phase stabilizer. “Why?” she asked, sounding curious.

Kevin blushed; he didn’t know why he’d corrected her. Clearly, she knew more about this than he did.

“I just—” he stuttered.

She held up a hand to stop him. “Explain it to me,” she said in a tone that brooked no argument, one that Kevin had heard many, many times before.

“This one will work better as an oscillation damper to modify the rillon valve,” said Kevin. “Isn’t that what you’re trying to do?”

“It is,” said Kayleigh. “But how did you know that?” Her gaze was smug.

“Oh,” said Kevin in realization. “I guess you weren’t lying.”

“I was not,” said Kayleigh succinctly. “I need an inversion loop and I don’t see how we can make one with these components. Do you?”

Kevin stared at what they had and let his mind wander. He pointed. “That can be used to set up the resonance,” he said, then nodded to an elucitin capacitor. “And that can flip it.”

“Good,” said Kayleigh, doing as he suggested.

Kevin watched her, growing increasingly nervous as he began to understand what they were doing. “What exactly are we building here, Mom?” he asked. “—Kayleigh,” he immediately corrected himself, annoyed about his slip.

“As I said, it is a type of displacement engine,” she said, after a pause.

Knowledge of what it was and what it could do flooded Kevin’s mind. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” he asked in a strangled voice.

“I’m sure that the Scarrans must not be allowed to construct their own phase stabilizer,” she said, which neatly skirted his question.

“And me?” he asked. “We didn’t adequately cover this before. Are you planning on killing me?”

Kayleigh watched him silently for several minutes. “I have seen into your mind and I don’t doubt your intentions,” she finally said. “As long as you don’t give me a reason to, I have no reason to hurt you.”

* * *

Neil set the heavy container that made him feel antsy just by being nearby on the workbench. He cleared his throat to get both Kevin and Kayleigh’s attention. They gave him mirrored looks of impatience. It was odd seeing Kevin’s mother. Neil didn’t think they looked much alike, although it was often hard to tell when it came to aliens. Their eyes and hair were the same colour, but Kayleigh was much paler— her skin closer in tone to Andrew’s than Kevin’s— and she hadn’t passed on the shape of her features to her son. But many of their mannerisms were the same and Kayleigh’s expressions were all familiar from how long Neil had been around Kevin.

“Here’s the partanium isotope,” he said with a flourish, before backing away. His species might be more resistant to radiation than most but this stuff still had enough of a wallop to kill him. “Knox was right, though. No protection suit.”

“I don’t need one,” said Kayleigh. “This is not my true form. The radiation can’t hurt it.”

“Where are Thea and Knox?” asked Kevin.

“Thea went to check on the others; Dan called to ask for an ammo resupply. Knox is still sorting through his junk to see if he has anything else useful for you.”

“We are almost done here,” said Kayleigh in an imperious tone that Neil often heard from her son. “I need to secure the partanium into the casing and then finish the emitter array.” She looked up at them. “You two need to be shielded when I open the container.” She nodded at the surrounding walls. “These are capable of blocking radiation; go wait outside until I call you back in.”

Kevin was reluctant to leave but Neil went happily, relieved to be far away from the isotope. He leaned against the wall beside the room’s entrance, waiting for Kevin to join him.

“Feeling knowledgeable?” Neil asked, curious about what Kayleigh had put in Kevin’s head. Wondering what it meant for them that Kevin now actually had the ability to make and control wormholes as Ichirou believed. He didn’t know if there was an Aurora chair other than the one in the destroyed Gammak base, but Kevin falling into the Peacekeepers’ hands was now even more dangerous.

“Not particularly,” grumbled Kevin.

“That’s a first.”

Kevin glowered. “It’s there, I know it’s there, it’s just not immediately accessible. It’s behind a wall, almost. I can only get at it when I’m not straining for it.”

“It’ll come,” said Neil. “At least you know it’s there.” He paused. “Do you know how to get back to your Earth?”

“Not consciously, not yet,” said Kevin. “Besides, I have to think about whether it’s a good idea—”

“Kevin, Neil,” came Dan’s voice, frantic over the communicator. “A Charrid got past us; it’s in there with you.”

Neil instantly brought up his weapon, on alert.

“Is everyone alright?” Kevin asked Dan.

“Only bumps and bruises and a couple cuts,” said Dan. “They distracted us with a larger group and sent in an infiltrator.”

Kevin met Neil’s eyes. “Go find Knox,” he said. “I’ll keep watch here.”

“Don’t go in there,” said Neil, pointing at the room. “The radiation will kill you.”

Kevin nodded his agreement and Neil turned to go. He’d only made it a couple steps down the hallway, when gunshots echoed from behind him. He turned, leaping to tackle Kevin who was about to run heedlessly into the workroom, ignoring Neil’s previous warning.

“Stop it,” Neil grunted, struggling to contain Kevin’s weight. “Kevin,” he said sharply. “Without you, we’ll all be killed by Scarrans. I don’t want to be killed by Scarrans. Let me investigate first.”

“Fine,” grunted Kevin, going limp. “Hurry up.”

Neil took a deep breath and darted a look around the corner. On the far side of the room, next to the module, Kayleigh was lying on the floor, gasping for breath. A Charrid was slightly farther away, clutching its face and moaning in pain. Neil could see that Kayleigh had mostly succeeded in placing the partanium into the casing: it was hidden from his view but he could see light from the radioisotope blinking against the far wall.

“What do you see?” hissed Kevin, jabbing him in the side. “What’s happening?”

“The partanium is partially encased,” said Neil, taking careful aim and shooting the Charrid. “On this side of it we’re safe, but someone’s going to have to close the casing.”

“Who are you shooting?” demanded Kevin hysterically.

“Charrid,” said Neil. “Kayleigh’s been hit; I don’t know how badly.”

Kevin pushed past him at that, looking in the workshop himself. His face went slack, gazing at the woman who looked just like his mother. Neil caught his arm as he started toward her.

“No,” said Neil. “That’s not your mother; your mother is alive and well.” He shook Kevin’s arm. “Kevin. Where is your mother?”

“My mother is happy on Earth,” said Kevin rotely.

“Exactly. Nothing has changed. I’m more resistant to radiation than you are and you need to finish what she started if we can’t save her.”

Kevin swallowed and nodded, not tearing his eyes from Kayleigh’s blood-soaked body. Neil couldn’t tell if she was still alive.

“Stay here,” said Neil, taking a cautious step forward. He wondered what his mother’s reaction would be if she knew what he was doing. Or, he didn’t. He knew she’d never forgive him. She’d once told him, “Never be the hero, Abram. Be the one who runs away while the hero dies.”

He rounded the nose of the module, keeping in the shielded area. He could see that the cover of the casing was hanging open. He’d have to dash over and close it, timing it very carefully so that he wasn’t doused by the radiation emitted in the flashes.

_Blink, blink_. Neil counted the seconds between the flashes. _Blink, blink_. They were irregular, but he thought he could discern a pattern.

“Kevin,” he called.

“Yeah?”

“If this doesn’t work, tell Andrew I’m sorry, okay?” For all his recent recklessness and fights with Scarrans, when it came right down to it Neil had no desire to die. All his survival instincts were screaming at him to run away.

“I’m not telling Andrew that!” hissed Kevin. “He’ll shoot me in the head! Besides, you’re not dying. You promised.”

“I’ll try really hard,” said Neil, psyching himself up. “Oh, and Kevin? Thank you for being the first one who talked me in to staying on Exy. It means more to me than I can say.”

“Stop acting like you’re on your deathbed,” said Kevin. “If you don’t stop that, I’m coming in there, radiation or no.”

“Stay there,” commanded Neil. “I’ll be finished in a microt.” He studied the flashing light. “Two,” he muttered to himself. _Blink, blink_. “Five. Three.” _Blink, blink_. “Six. Now!” He dove toward the casing, slapping it closed, just as it lit up again.

Panting, he sat heavily on the ground, adrenaline making him tremble. He wasn’t sure if he’d reached it in time. He had no idea if he’d been hit with a fatal dose of radiation.

“Clear,” he called to Kevin. He kept his doubts about his health to himself.

Kevin skidded into the room, dropping to his knees beside Kayleigh’s still form. She blinked open her green eyes.

“You’ll have to finish,” she rasped with some difficulty. “Don’t let anyone get control of this technology.”

“I’ll keep your people safe,” said Kevin reverently.

Kayleigh sighed as if a heavy burden had been lifted from her. As she died, she reverted to what must be her natural form, a ball of dark tentacles.

Kevin blinked back tears and looked up at Neil with a fierce expression. “Come on,” he said. “We have work to do.”

* * *

“Explain again what’s going to happen?” said Dan. All of them, minus Kevin, had returned to Exy. Neil fidgeted, unsure. His fingers were tingling; was he experiencing a side effect of the radiation? In any case, he didn’t have time to worry about it now. The Scarran dreadnought had entered the system and was bearing down on them.

“I can’t explain it,” replied Kevin over comms. “It’s mostly instinct; I don’t completely understand yet.”

“That’s not worrying at all,” said M’Att.

“It’s… I know I can do this,” said Kevin. “Trust me.”

There was a heavy pause. “Alright,” said Dan. “What can we do to help?”

“Try to bring the dreadnought to the mouth of the wormhole.”

“What wormhole?” asked Allison.

“The one I’m about to make.”

Neil watched as Kevin’s module started flying in a pattern he didn’t recognize, one he knew that Kevin probably couldn’t sketch out or explain at the moment. He glanced over at the others. Thea was pressing her lips so tightly together they’d lost all colour, Renee was muttering prayers, Jean was watching in awe, Allison was pretending to be bored, M’Att was visibly nervous.

“Okay,” said Dan dubiously. “Wymack, open a channel to the Scarran dreadnought.”

“Done,” replied Wymack.

“Scarran dreadnought,” said Dan forcefully. “This is Sergeant Danala Wilds of the Imperial Illanic Resistance. Cease your course or I will be forced to destroy you.” It was the first time that Neil had heard Dan speak her full name. He’d known that she’d ended up in Peacekeeper custody because of her involvement in her planet’s anti-Peacekeeper resistance; he hadn’t realized that it had been organized enough that she had an official rank— although, he supposed she might be bluffing about that.

Silence followed her pronouncement. “A weaponless Leviathan,” said Allison dryly. “They must be terrified.”

Dan shot her a look. “Wymack, evasive manoeuvres. Get them to follow us toward Kevin.”

A wormhole had popped up at Kevin’s position. He was still flying in circles around the edge of it. Neil could tell that the so-called displacement engine was starting to work.

“Look at that,” said M’Att, “he’s bending the end of the wormhole into the sun.”

“Move out of the way,” said Kevin, sounding strained. “I don’t want to hit you by mistake.”

Exy banked sharply away from what Kevin was doing. It was hard to describe and made Neil’s eyes water to look at, but he didn’t want to look away. Through the wormhole, the sun of the Uessey system was visible.

“Is the dreadnought meant to fly into that?” asked M’Att. His question was answered almost instantly as a ball of pure energy shot out of the wormhole into the dreadnought. Everyone in command reeled back in shock. They shielded their eyes as the dreadnought seemed to light up from the inside. When the light faded, the dreadnought was completely gone. There was no indication that it had ever been there. Renee started praying louder, looking distraught. Jean touched the side of his head, as if he’d heard the thousands of deaths they’d just caused.

“I don’t know a prayer for this,” he said, stunned.

Even Allison was disconcerted. “We can’t let anyone else figure out how to do that,” she said. “Ever.”

“Kevin?” called Thea, fearfully. “Kevin, are you still—”

“I’m okay,” said Kevin. “Kayleigh designed this thing to self-destruct after a single use. I’m going to have to eject; someone come get me?”

Thea was already headed to the maintenance bay. “I’ll be there soon,” she said.

Dan looked helplessly at the rest of them. “What are we going to do about this?”

“That’s a doozy,” said Knox brightly.

Everyone turned to stare at him.

“Who the yotz are you?” demanded Seth.

In the resulting confusion, Neil slipped out of command, deliberately bumping Jean and giving him a pointed look. He led him into the observation lounge, shaking as the adrenaline of their near-miss started to wear off.

“You can tell when people are dying, right?” Neil asked without preamble. “Am I?”

Jean stared at him mutely for several microts, his eyes unfocused, his brow creased in concern. “No,” he said finally. Neil let out a relieved sigh. As soon as he thought he might die he’d realized how desperately he wanted to live. “Was there a chance you might be?” asked Jean gently.

“I wasn’t sure how much radiation I got hit with,” said Neil.

Jean hummed thoughtfully. “There is something…” he said slowly.

“Something?” asked Neil sharply. “What do you mean?”

“It’s not like anything I’ve ever seen,” admitted Jean. “It’s like a shadow hanging around you, a suggestion of death. Almost as if…” he trailed off again and a look of understanding crossed his face.

“Almost as if what?” Neil demanded testily.

Jean only shook his head and absent-mindedly wandered out of the room, leaving Neil alone feeling confused and worried.

* * *

Kevin watched silently from inside the transport pod as the copy of his module exploded, too stunned to feel much of anything at all.

Thea turned to head back to Exy, her expression grim. “Did you know that was going to happen?” she asked.

“I had an idea,” said Kevin. He didn’t have the words to explain. The knowledge Kayleigh had transferred to him wasn’t structured in the same way as he thought: evidence of a completely alien thought pattern and understanding of the universe. As a scientist, he didn’t like guesswork or things that were unexplainable. The knowledge he had felt more like an art than a science. Instinct, not hard facts.

Thea appeared to accept that at face value. “Out of everyone here, I had the most understanding of how dangerous wormhole can be. And I still didn’t—” She stopped short and shook her head. “What are you going to do? There are people after you who will do anything for that knowledge.”

“Isn’t it obvious?” asked Kevin, his promise to Kayleigh still ringing in his head. “We’re going to kill them all.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains violence, implied torture, murder, and major character injury.

Andrew gave up trying to sleep after an arn. He’d been finding it harder and harder to sleep the closer they got to their rendezvous with Exy. There were now fewer than ten solars before they were scheduled to meet back in the Palmetto system.

Neil whined in his sleep when Andrew extracted himself from their bed, rolling over and blinking up at him with bleary eyes. “What’s wrong?” he slurred.

“Nothing,” said Andrew, running a hand through Neil’s hair. “Go back to sleep.”

Neil hmphed and complied; Andrew wasn’t convinced he’d actually been fully awake in the first place. It wasn’t like Neil was interested in discussing what was on Andrew’s mind— in fact, every time Andrew had referenced it, no matter how obliquely, Neil had made himself scarce for arns— namely, the other Neil.

Andrew had a suspicion that Neil was hoping that the Neil on Exy had died or disappeared in their absence. It wasn’t that he disliked him or wished him harm, it was just that he was a complication that Neil didn’t want to think about. Andrew himself was guilty of ignoring the issue but now that they were headed back to Exy it was constantly on his mind.

Unlike Neil, he couldn’t hope for anything bad to happen to the other Neil. The very thought made him nauseated. He was _Neil_. They were both Neil and Andrew wanted them both safe. What Neil didn’t, or couldn’t, understand was that in Andrew’s mind (and heart) there wasn’t a difference between them. They were both his. Sure, recently they’d had different experiences but had they switched places when the Marauder split from Exy, Andrew was certain that the exact same events would have occurred. They weren’t twins— he and Aaron may look alike but they were very different— they were doubles, and Andrew wasn’t about to abandon Exy Neil any more than he was going to abandon the Neil that was currently sleeping in his bed.

It posed a problem, especially since Neil refused to discuss it. Andrew supposed that they’d all work something out once it came to a head but he couldn’t help worrying about Exy Neil and hoping that he was all right. That he wasn’t hurt or angry or damaged. He missed him even though he had another Neil with him.

The whole situation made Andrew’s head spin and he wished a simple solution would present itself. Instead, he headed down to the galley. Snacking usually made him feel better, despite not offering any solutions to his problems.

He stopped short at the entrance to the galley when he found Aaron inside. They hadn’t discussed what had happened when they’d faced off against the hunters. For the first three solars afterwards, they’d both been laid out recovering from the adrenaline shots; Andrew had been shaky for even longer because of his concussion. He knew Aaron felt guilty— the way he kept glancing at Andrew and then quickly looking away was evidence enough— and probably wanted to apologize or something, but Andrew wasn’t overly fussed. He understood why Aaron did what he did— he didn’t agree with it, but he understood it. It would be a different story if Neil (or any of the others) had gotten hurt, but as far as he was concerned it was in the past. For all he knew he might have done the same thing if it had been him their mother had approached all those cycles ago.

He considered leaving, but Aaron’s presence wasn’t going to stop him from having a snack. He grunted a greeting as he went to their stores.

“Andrew,” said Aaron, sounding pained. “I’m sorry.”

“Are you?” wondered Andrew, no anger in his tone.

“I’m sorry for giving you a concussion,” amended Aaron. “I was— I could see no other option.”

“Was it worth it?” Again, not angrily. He took a seat and popped a food cube is his mouth, watching Aaron expectantly.

“I had to know,” said Aaron, haltingly. “For cycles after she came to me, I looked for her face everywhere I could. I wanted to know if she was real— and if she really did love me. It was— I wanted a family.”

“You had me.”

Aaron raised an eyebrow. “Family is not blood. Family is who you protect.” He was repeating verbatim what Andrew had once said to him.

Andrew met his eyes and waited for him to get it. Who else had Andrew ever protected before he’d left the Peacekeepers? Their blood had never mattered to him. Circumstance of birth made them related; loyalty made them family.

Aaron shook his head. “I didn’t understand what you meant then. I wanted her, even though she clearly didn’t want us. Thanks for killing her; it couldn’t have been easy.”

“She was nothing to me but a threat.”

“I know. Still, thank you.”

They ate in silence for some time. “Aaron?” said Andrew, breaking it. “If you ever betray me again, we’re through.”

Aaron paused before he nodded. “She was my last tie to them, you know? The last thread that kept me from giving them up completely. Now that’s gone.”

“What are you going to do now?”

Aaron shrugged. “I’ll see what Katelyn wants. I know she's happy on Exy but who knows if the others will let us stay.”

“They’re used to you now and they’re by and large soft-hearted. If you want to stay, they’ll probably let you stay.”

“What about you?”

“You can stay if you want.”

“No, I mean, what are you going to do now that we’re going back to Exy? There’s a second Neil there, you know.”

“I’m aware,” said Andrew dryly. “I’m doing the responsible thing and ignoring the problem completely.”

Aaron snorted but didn’t press further.

About half an arn later, Nicky came into the galley, looking rumpled. “Oh, hi,” he said dully. “Couldn’t sleep, either?”

“Technically, I’m on watch,” said Aaron, “but given that there shouldn’t be any hunters after us, I figured I didn’t have to spend the whole time in command.”

Nicky slumped at the table. Andrew and Aaron had a quick exchange, completely in grimaces and eye movements, to argue over who had to talk to him. Nicky had been quiet and subdued since his run-in with his father but Erik was supposed to be taking care of his damaged mental state.

“It was brave, what you did,” said Aaron stiltedly, having lost their argument.

“It was necessary,” said Nicky bitterly.

“Doing what’s necessary isn’t always easy,” offered Andrew.

“Well, good riddance,” said Nicky. “I don’t regret it. He was never my family.” He looked up at the two of them. “Apparently you two are, though. We’re cousins? I can’t believe we’ve been related all this time and we didn’t know!”

Andrew caught Aaron’s inquisitive glance and he shrugged one shoulder. Family was who he was willing to protect, and Nicky fell into that category.

“Between you and Andrew, you managed to completely wipe out the previous generation in less than an arn,” said Aaron. “The Hemmicks are an old Peacekeeper family; they’ve been around for centuries.”

“And now they’re gone,” said Andrew.

“They’re not gone,” said Nicky. “We’re what’s left: an abomination and two traitors. I think our ancestors would be proud, don’t you?”

“No,” said Andrew. “But pissing off Peacekeepers can be our new family legacy.”

* * *

Andrew eventually headed back to bed and got a couple arns sleep before Neil poked him awake for his shift on watch. Neil joined him in command, propping his feet up on a console and fiddling with a silvery object that he’d purchased the last commerce stop they’d made (they’d had to make a stop much earlier than planned, since Erik had mostly emptied their food stores— and then vomited up their food stores— when he’d been under the influence of the drexin). The object was round and knobbly and looked kind of like a mine. Andrew had made Neil prove that it wasn’t explosive before he’d let him bring it on board.

Andrew was convinced that it was a useless piece of garbage and that the merchant had fleeced Neil out of his credits— he also suspected Neil agreed with him. It was apparently a ‘wormhole generator’, although it had showed no evidence of doing anything other than being heavy.

“If you get us sucked into a wormhole, I am going to be very put out,” said Andrew, pulling up a star chart. They _could_ just fly around in circles for ten solars while waiting for Exy but maybe there was something better to do.

Neil snorted. “I would be incredibly impressed if this thing could manage that,” he said, turning it in his hands and looking at it closely. “I’m not sure it even has any electronics; it might be solid metal.”

“They why did you buy it?”

“I plan to tell Kevin what it is and watch him slowly go insane trying to get it to work.”

“You bought it for Kevin?”

“I’ve missed him,” said Neil simply, “and frustrating him with a souvenir seems like fun.”

“Well, we know he’s not missing you.”

Neil’s face went completely blank.

Andrew sighed. “No, I meant because you’re annoying, not because he’s with the other Neil. I know you don’t want to talk about it.”

Neil unwound minutely. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I know,” said Andrew slowly. “I just said that. I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to.”

“Fine,” said Neil grumpily. Then, in a blatant attempt at redirection, gestured to the star chart. “We near anything interesting?”

“We’re near the Columbia system, actually,” said Andrew, shuddering. Now that the chip was gone, he could remember more of his time at Evermore as Proust’s prisoner. It hadn’t actually been all that bad— he’d spent most of it sedated— but he had no desire to ever return or think about it. Besides, even if they did want to go back to the shadow depository, he doubted they would be welcome there after robbing it and damaging it.

“How long to make it back to the Palmetto system from here?”

“About four solars at top speed,” said Andrew. “We could make a stop first. There’s a commerce hub in the next system over. It’s a high traffic area so we wouldn’t stick out and Katelyn can comb through the ship parts.” He shrugged. “We don’t need anything, but it wouldn’t hurt to get off the ship for a couple arns.”

Neil nodded. “Maybe I can find more junk to gift Kevin.”

* * *

Since everyone was looking forward to getting off the Marauder for a break, nobody objected to Andrew’s proposed stop. The spaceport was crowded and busy and a perfect place to not be noticed. The large volume of people meant that their comms wouldn’t work properly planetside, so they hatched an itinerary in case they had to find each other.

“Erik and I will head over for supplies,” said Nicky, pointing in one direction.

“I think I still owe you some rations,” added Erik sheepishly.

“I’m going for parts,” said Katelyn.

“I’ll go with you,” offered Aaron.

“Bar,” said Andrew. “I could use a drink.”

They set a time and place to meet and took off in separate directions. Neil trailed after Andrew, although his eyes kept going back wistfully to the stalls Aaron and Katelyn were heading.

“Why don’t you go with them?” asked Andrew.

Neil put his hands in his pockets and hung his head. “No credits,” he said ruefully.

“You spent them all on the stupid thing for Kevin, didn’t you?” asked Andrew, trying to keep any fondness out of his voice. It wouldn’t do to encourage Neil.

“I did…” said Neil slowly. “But _you_ still have credits.”

“Because I’m fiscally responsible.”

Neil snorted. “Cause the only thing you ever buy is booze.” He smiled beseechingly. “Can I borrow some? I want to check out the salvage.”

“You want to see if you can find something else to annoy Kevin.”

“Well, yeah,” admitted Neil.

“Since when do people like us get what we want?” asked Andrew but he reeled Neil in to kiss him lightly. He handed over half his credits. “Knock yourself out,” he said, then amended, “Not literally. Don't let anyone break your face.”

“Thank you,” said Neil, his smile blinding. “You’re amazing.”

Andrew waved him off to cover the way Neil’s open affection made him feel gooey inside. “Stay with Aaron and Katelyn,” he said gruffly, pushing Neil’s face away so he wasn’t looking at him anymore. “I’ll see you in a couple arns.”

He watched, shaking his head, as Neil sped off through the crowd. Then he schooled his face and headed to the nearest bar.

The bar wasn’t as bad as he was expecting— he'd learned quality was really hit and miss at these places— but it was more or less cleanish and the selection was good and the prices reasonable. Andrew settled in for a couple arns of required solitude, barring any emergencies.

Nicky and Erik arrived before the others, finished with their shopping. Nicky was chattering happily about how they’d found something that _wasn’t food cubes_ that he was planning on eating before they reunited with Exy so they wouldn’t have to share. Meanwhile, Erik went to the bar and returned with a plate of fried garvug, apparently a local delicacy. It was better than Andrew was expecting and he made sure to save some for Neil.

Aaron and Katelyn were dishevelled when they arrived. Andrew assumed at first that they’d stopped for a tryst before he saw their darting, tense expressions. He got up as they approached, heart sinking.

“We saw a few Nebari in the markets,” said Katelyn, her words clipped. “Official looking ones.” Andrew could feel all his muscles tense at once.

“We thought Neil should go back to the ship,” added Aaron.

Andrew nodded. That was smart, getting Neil away from strange Nebari.

Aaron faltered. “Where is he?” He looked to Andrew, then to Nicky and Erik, as if he was just overlooked Neil. “Did you see them too and send him back?”

“What do you mean?” asked Andrew, dread pooling in his gut. “You just said you sent him back to the ship.”

Aaron had started shaking his head halfway through Andrew’s sentence. “No, I said that he _should_ go back to the ship. How would we send him back? He was with you.”

“Only for a couple hundred microts,” said Andrew. His mind was buzzing loudly; he could barely hear his own thoughts. “Then he followed you.”

“We haven’t seen him,” said Katelyn, clearly worried.

Andrew and Aaron stared at each other for a couple beats before Andrew upended the table. Erik and Nicky cried out in alarm and dove out of the way. Andrew was past caring. How could this happen? How could Neil have disappeared so easily? He could feel icy fingers of panic clutch at his throat and all he wanted to do was strangle Aaron for losing Neil. He clenched his hands into fists instead. Attacking Aaron wouldn’t solve anything.

“Maybe he saw the Nebari and went back to the ship on his own?” suggested Nicky tentatively.

“Maybe,” said Aaron, after a pause. He could clearly tell that it was taking all of Andrew’s considerable control not to have a meltdown. “You and Erik go check. Stay together.”

Andrew closed his eyes and started counting to ten to calm down. He only got to two before he was striding out of the bar, intent on burning the market to the ground until he had Neil back with him. “Show me where you saw those Nebari,” he said roughly to Aaron who was following on his heels.

“We’ll get him back, Andrew,” said Katelyn.

Andrew shook his head forcefully. “Aaron,” he said, ignoring Katelyn’s platitudes, “if we can’t stop the Nebari from taking him you’ll have to kill him.”

Aaron stopped short before jogging a couple steps to catch up. “What? Andrew, no. I’m not going to shoot your boyfriend.” Andrew assumed the seriousness of the situation was the only reason he didn’t tack on, _although I’d really like to_.

“Of course you’re not doing that!” exclaimed Katelyn.

“Only if we can’t stop them,” said Andrew. “He’d rather die than be mind cleansed. I promised I would but…” he trailed off. He didn’t want to remind Aaron that he’d killed their mother so Aaron didn’t have to but he could see that Aaron had already connected the dots.

Aaron swallowed heavily and nodded once. “If it’s necessary,” he said. “I promise I’ll make sure they don’t take him alive.”

“It’s not going to be necessary,” scoffed Katelyn. “Andrew, take a left.”

He followed her directions. His blood felt like it was fizzing in his veins. Every heartbeat and breath echoed in his ears and pulled his chest in tighter and tighter. His thoughts swirled like a siren, alerting him to Neil’s continued absence.

He saw a flash of grey skin and he moved before he consciously decided he was going to. Tackling the surprised man to the ground, he effectively pinned him in place and glared down into his black eyes that were both similar to and nothing like Neil’s.

“Where is he?” he growled.

“What the frell?” said the man, his voice squeaking in panic. “What are you talking about?”

“Tell me,” said Andrew, tightening his hands around the man’s throat. “Tell me where Neil is.”

“Andrew,” said Aaron warningly. Andrew ignored him.

The sound of a safety releasing had Andrew looking up, directly into the barrel of a pulse pistol. An older, distinguished Nebari man was holding it; nearby other Nebari had Aaron and Katelyn surrounded and at gunpoint.

“We don’t know anyone named Neil,” said the man. “So let my associate go.”

Andrew grimaced and spat out Neil’s original name, the name he never spoke if he could help it. “Abram. What have you done with him?”

The man blinked in shock and his weapon lowered slightly. “How do you know my nephew?” he asked.

“Nephew?” said Andrew. “Are you Hatford?”

“I am,” he said. “Are you telling me that Abram is here? With you?”

“He was,” said Katelyn. “He’s missing.”

Hatford’s face was drawn and haggard. “Well that’s not good. We’re here shadowing my late sister’s husband. And if he found Abram...” he trailed off with a grimace.

Andrew didn’t need him to elaborate. He knew exactly how much Neil feared his father.

* * *

Neil regained consciousness instantly. There was no gentle swimming to the surface: one minute he was completely unaware and the next he was awake and aching. There was a sharp pain between his shoulder blades and he was strapped to a board that was keeping him more of less upright. He struggled but it was useless, the bindings on his arms and legs too strong.

He racked his memory for how he had gotten here. He’d been with Andrew; his heart rate picked up. Was Andrew here, too? Had Andrew been injured? But, no, that wasn’t right. He’d been alone. He was hurrying after Aaron and Katelyn to catch up with them, feeling giddy about the credits clinking together in his pocket. And then… nothing.

_Stupid_ , he admonished himself. _Stupid, stupid. Keep your guard up, Abram._ His inner thoughts spoke in his mother’s voice. He’d become complacent, forgetting and dismissing all the lessons she had beaten into him. He felt safe with his life mate and had ignored the fact that he was never, ever safe.

He wondered who had him. It could be the Peacekeepers again, or maybe the security from the shadow depository had tracked him down for punishment. It was okay, he told himself, trying to dismiss how afraid he was. Andrew would be coming for him; he had no doubt. He could hold out until he got there.

He could handle anything as long as it wasn’t…

His thoughts trailed off as a tall Nebari man walked into his sightline as if he’d been summoned by Neil’s thoughts. He was watching Neil with mild curiosity. There was a hint of anger in his eyes. Neil could recognize it despite the fact that he hid it so well, disguising it from polite Nebari society. He’d had it aimed at him enough in his life.

“Junior,” said his father, “my biggest disappointment.”

Neil didn’t say anything; he was using all his mental energy staving off a panic attack.

“Is that any way to greet you father? Say hello, Junior.”

“Hello,” whispered Neil, keeping his eyes lowered. This was still salvageable, he told himself. They couldn’t mind cleanse him here, not without the required equipment that was back on Nebari Prime. Based on the way gravity felt, they weren’t on a ship yet. They were probably still in the marketplace. All Neil had to do was endure until Andrew found him.

“Do you know the trouble you’ve caused?” continued Neil’s father, his voice melodious. “You and that tralk of a mother of yours. Where is she?”

“She’s dead.” The words felt like Neil had scraped them out of his throat.

“So Lola reported, when she said she was bringing you to us.” He stroked deceptively gentle fingers along the burn scar on Neil’s neck, the one that resulted from the control collar that Lola had used. “She said she questioned you thoroughly.”

Neil swallowed and tried not to jerk away, knowing there was nowhere for him to go.

“We thought you were dead, you know,” said his father, tightening his grip around his neck. “I assumed that Lola wasn’t careful enough and you blew yourself up.”

“No,” said Neil. “Just her.”

His father squeezed, anger twisting his face momentarily, then let go. “We weren’t even looking for you. I want you to know this, because I want you to realize that everything that happens from now on is your own fault. I hope the money was worth it.”

Neil didn’t respond, his mind was whirring busily putting together what his father was implying.

“What, did you think we didn’t have spies in your uncle’s pathetic organization? As soon as he got the alert that you accessed his account, I knew about it. I really thought you’d be smart enough to be long gone from the scene of the crime, but here you are hanging out in the neighbourhood. What can I say?” He shrugged exaggeratedly. “I guess you got your brains from your mother.”

He’d known— _he’d known_ — that going to the shadow depository was stupidly dangerous. That giving his real name was the dumbest thing he could have done. But that had been the only way he could think of to get Andrew back. It _was_ worth it. Andrew was worth everything. He wouldn’t change anything, even if he died here.

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?” asked his father, clearly getting annoyed at his lack of response.

Neil bit his lip and braced himself for whatever his father was going to do.

“Fine,” huffed his father. “Have it your way. I have a new toy that I’ve been dying to try out, anyway. Romero!” he called. One of his father’s associates wheeled a large contraption into the room. Neil’s eyes widened, wondering what exactly it was.

“You know,” said his father thoughtfully. “I’m going to miss beating the insolence out of you once you’re all obedient and docile.” He patted Neil twice on the cheek. “Oh, well.” He pointed at the machine. “This is a new prototype that I’ve developed and I need your help to test it. It’s going to be very painful. Feel free to scream.”

_Hurry, Andrew_ , thought Neil desperately as the device was wheeled closer to him.

* * *

Andrew knew he was losing time. Hatford had explained that he had surveillance on his brother-in-law’s— Neil’s father, Andrew was going to kill him— ship at the spaceport. He hadn’t returned to it since Neil had gone missing, meaning that he was still somewhere nearby. Andrew had wanted to systematically tear through the marketplace looking for Neil, but Aaron’s calmer head had prevailed. He’d convinced Andrew to wait for Hatford’s people to find where Neil was before they staged a full-scale assault.

So Andrew was waiting as patiently as possible. He hadn’t attacked anyone else, even though he really wanted to. His lungs felt like they were full of glass everytime he breathed in and he wanted to lash out until everyone else hurt as much as he did.

_Thank you, you’re amazing_. The last words that Neil said to him repeated on a loop through his head. He’d been happy, not wary or on guard. He’d trusted Andrew to keep him safe. _Don't let anyone break your face._

It could have been any time between six microts and six arns before one of Hatford’s subordinates (as far as Andrew knew Hatford ran some kind of resistance to the Nebari Establishment but he didn’t actually care who they were as long as they could help him find Neil) rushed in, flustered and excited, babbling that she’d found them. It was likely closer to six arns, since Katelyn had tried to force Andrew to eat on three separate occasions. Also, Nicky and Erik were present, having shown up at some point when Andrew wasn’t paying attention.

Andrew was up and on his feet immediately, readying his pulse rifle (which had been on the Marauder. He had no memory of why it was in his hands. Maybe Erik had brought it to him?).

“Where is he?” he demanded.

The Nebari woman glanced to Hatford briefly before she answered. “Warehouse on the edge of the eastern border of the market,” she said, pointing in a vaguely eastern direction. “There’s a heavy guard presence.”

“Not for long,” said Hatford, eyeing Andrew’s weapon.

Andrew attempted to blank his mind and enter into his usual battle-ready state, but he was too frightened for Neil to quiet his emotions. Instead, he fell in with the others and caught Aaron’s eye to make sure he had his back. And that he remembered his promise, not that Andrew was going to let it come to that.

He lost time again on their way to the warehouse. It seemed like they had teleported there, but also that it had taken cycles to arrive. His head felt full of angry red mist. He needed to get his hands on Neil, to make sure that he was safe and whole.

The fight passed by in flashes; Andrew shot anyone who got in his way as he kept his eyes open for Neil. He had no idea how many guards there were; he blew past them, trusting Aaron and the others to take care of anyone he missed.

Finally, he burst into the best guarded room, Hatford on his heels. He killed the Nebari closest to him while Hatford got the other one on his knees and pressed his pulse pistol against his forehead.

"This is for my sister," snarled Hatford.

Neil was farther in the room, restrained in an upright position. Thankfully, he didn’t look very outwardly injured; his eyes were slightly cloudy and he had the wrinkle in his forehead that appeared when he was trying to pretend his head wasn’t aching.

“Neil!” called Andrew, making a beeline for him.

The man who must be Neil’s father ignored Andrew, looking up at Hatford with an expression of triumph. “You’re too late,” he gloated.

“We’ll see about that,” said Hatford, unceremoniously shooting Neil’s father in the head.

“Neil,” said Andrew again as he reached him, dropping his pulse rifle and reaching for the restraints. “Are you hurt? It’s okay now; I’m here.”

Neil blinked at him slowly, his gaze fuzzy. “Are you speaking to me,” he said in a monotone. There was no expression on his face, no relief or recognition.

Andrew’s heart skipped a beat, understanding what had happened before his brain did. “Of course I’m speaking to you. Are you hurt?” Neil didn’t respond. “Neil,” said Andrew sharply, snapping his fingers to get his attention. “Are you hurt?”

Neil was watching his father’s body impassively. “Why do you call me that. The man informed me my name is Junior.”

Hatford swore profusely somewhere behind Andrew, but he barely registered it. His hands shook. “Neil?” he asked in a small voice.

Neil didn’t look at him, staring imploringly at Hatford. “Will you tell me how I can best serve the Nebari,” said the empty shell who had once been Neil.

* * *

It was over a solar later that Andrew saw Hatford again. The Nebari man had taken both Neil and the strange device they’d found in the warehouse for his people to examine. Hatford was unsure how Neil had been mind cleansed since the procedure usually required specialized equipment on Nebari Prime. He was incredibly suspicious of the machine they’d found.

“Maybe it’s not a permanent mind cleanse?” Nicky had suggested hopefully.

“I wouldn’t count on it,” Hatford had replied grimly. “There’s never been a reported case of a mental cleanse being reversed.”

Nicky had excitedly told Hatford about Hawking’s miraculous recovery, but Andrew had been forced to correct him. Hawking hadn’t broken his mind cleanse; it had been Neil who had killed Lola way back when he’d first come onto Exy. Nicky had looked gutted.

“Good riddance,” Hatford had said, directing his underlings to escort Neil to their base.

Andrew had wanted to go with them, not willing to let Neil out of his sight, but Hatford had objected. That wouldn’t have stopped Andrew, except that Neil clearly didn’t know who he was. He seemed to care little for anybody’s presence and he kept looking through Andrew completely. Andrew didn’t think he could handle it for very long before snapping.

Instead, he got sloppily drunk. He couldn’t remember drinking quite so much, never liking the feeling of losing control. But he needed to blot out the memory of Neil not recognizing him and his father sneering that he’d been too late. _Too late,_ his mind mocked. _Too slow_.

_Since when do people like us get what we want?_

When he met Hatford the following solar, he was hungover and feeling awful, although that was appropriate. He _should_ feel awful after failing Neil so completely.

“Well?” he asked testily.

Hatford wordlessly shook his head. “The device my sister’s good-for-nothing husband had is designed for a quick and dirty mind cleanse. Abram’s brain is even more damaged than it would be from a regular mind cleanse. He has no memory of his life and as far as we can tell he is unable to create new memories. We have to keep telling him his name every two arns.”

Katelyn gasped and abortively reached for Andrew before thinking better of offering comfort.

“Is there nothing you can do for him?” Nicky asked, voice wobbling.

Hatford grimaced and nodded to the pulse pistol at his hip. “All we can do is put him out of his misery.”

“You’re not going to _kill Neil_ ,” spat Nicky.

“There is no Neil,” said Hatford brutally. “Not anymore.”

“Still,” huffed Nicky.

“It’s what Neil wants,” Andrew said in a dead voice. “He told me so more than once.” He glanced to the room where Hatford was keeping Neil. “I want to see him.”

Aaron put his hand on his shoulder. “It shouldn’t have to be you.”

Andrew shook him off. Of course it should be him. “I have to make sure.”

Hatford stepped back and let Andrew into the room. Neil was sitting blankly on a chair, his gaze completely void. Andrew had never seen him look so empty. Neil always had _some_ expression and he’d never been able to sit so still.

“Neil,” said Andrew.

Neil didn’t respond at first. “They told me I am called Abram,” he said, after it took him a moment to notice that they were the only two people in the room and Andrew must be addressing him.

Andrew gritted his teeth. “You look like a friend of mine.”

Neil didn’t react. There wasn’t even a slight spark of curiosity in his eyes.

“I’m going back to my ship, Exy,” said Andrew. “Do you want to come with me?” If any little piece of Neil was still alive inside this shell, Andrew wouldn’t leave him. He’d figure something out. He’d get him back.

“I want to serve the Nebari,” said Neil. It was stated as a simple fact, with no fervour associated with it. None of Neil’s personality shone through.

Andrew dropped to his knees in front of him. “Please,” he rasped, forcing out the hated word. _Please_ , he repeated to the universe at large. “I’m saying please. If there’s anything left of Neil inside of you, say something, _do something_. _Please_.”

Neil continued staring ahead, not even dropping his eyes to look at Andrew.

“Neil, _please_ ,” begged Andrew. “Don’t leave me here alone.”

The silence was heavy. Then, “They told me I am called Abram.”

Andrew closed his eyes and buried his face in Neil’s lap. _Too slow_ , his mind echoed. _Too slow, too slow, too slow_. Neil was gone; he’d let him slip through his fingers. He gave one great, heaving sob and then forcibly pulled himself together. It was time to fulfill his promise.

Andrew stood shakily and raised his pulse pistol to Neil’s head. Neil’s vacant gaze didn’t waver, not reacting to Andrew’s actions at all. There was no fear, intelligence, or worry showing in his eyes. He simply waited like a blank slate.

Still, Andrew’s hand trembled and he lowered his gun. The person sitting before him wasn’t Neil. He wasn’t anyone. But he still had Neil’s features. Those were Neil’s lips that Andrew had kissed less than a solar ago. There was still a fading bruise visible on his collarbone from the last time they’d recreated together. His eyes were the eyes Andrew had been looking into when he realized he was in love. He hadn’t told Neil about his revelation; now he never would.

Neil had been right. Andrew was physically incapable of killing him. Aaron would have to do it.

Abruptly angry, he stomped to the room’s exit.

“Wait,” said Neil as Andrew reached to push the door open.

Andrew paused, not daring to let himself hope.

“What does your friend Neil look like,” the man who wasn't Neil asked, without inflection or interest. “If I see him, I can tell him you are looking for him.”

“Don’t worry about it,” said Andrew roughly, not glancing back. “He’s dead.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! You all seem a little upset about Neil. This chapter... is probably not going to help much.
> 
> Warnings for: character death, grief

“Now entering the Palmetto system,” said Wymack.

“Keep your sensors primed,” said Dan. “Any Peacekeeper contacts?” She was completely tense and alert.

“None that I can find,” replied Wymack.

“Any sign of the Marauder?” asked Renee.

“They’d better be here,” said Dan. “I feel exposed, hanging around like this.”

Neil was practically vibrating with excitement and nervousness. The Marauder had gone on a dangerous mission, there might be casualties. And they might not be finished, they might not even show up. Still, there was a chance that Andrew was returning to him soon and he was finding it hard to keep calm.

“There’s something just on the edge of Exy’s sensor range, far in the asteroid field,” said Wymack. “It could be the Marauder.”

“Message them and see,” said Dan.

“Hold on.”

“I hope it _is_ them,” said Allison. “I cannot _wait_ until they’re back on board.”

Dan sent her an amused glance. “I didn’t realize you and the Peacekeepers were so close,” she teased.

“Not that, although I have missed Katelyn and Nicky,” said Allison. “But Kevin will _finally_ tell us his grand plan and stop being so annoyingly secretive about it.”

It had been about forty solars since Kevin had single-handedly destroyed a Scarran dreadnought. He’d been completely focused on accessing the rest of the latent wormhole information in his head since then. Neil didn’t think he was sleeping; he was spending all of his time scrawling half-finished equations on every available surface and puzzling over them. He would only speak with Thea, Knox, or Neil to show them bits of his calculations to ask for feedback. Neil knew he was making progress in his understanding but it would still take some time to unlock all the knowledge Kayleigh had given him.

After Kevin had returned to Exy once the dreadnought had been disintegrated, he’d told them that he had a plan to keep them safe from the Peacekeepers but that he needed to do more research first. He also refused to tell them the plan until everyone was back on board, which led to tension and irritation among the rest of them. They’d spent the time since then trying to relax and find a pleasure planet, but their vacation had been effectively ruined. Everyone was waiting in anticipation for what came next.

“It’s them,” reported Wymack happily. “They’ve set an intercept course and will be here in less than a quarter arn.”

“Is everyone alright?” asked M’Att.

“Their message didn’t specify,” said Wymack.

“We’ll know soon enough,” said Allison.

Jean glanced at Neil unsubtly. He’d been acting even stranger than normal ever since he’d told Neil he was surrounded by a “suggestion of death”. He refused to specify further, claiming that the death of so many Scarrans had probably messed with his abilities; however, he’d been watching Neil warily as if he was about to drop dead, adding to Neil’s overall anxiety and impatience.

Neil was too eager for Andrew’s return to do anything but ignore Jean’s worried face. He decided to head down to the maintenance bay to greet their returning crewmates. He managed to hold himself in check; sprinting down to the maintenance bay wouldn’t make the Marauder dock faster. He swung by Kevin’s quarters on his way to kill time.

“Kevin, the Marauder’s back!” he said.

“Hmm?” said Kevin, looking up at him with unfocused eyes. “Yes, I heard.”

“Are you coming to greet them?” asked Neil, refraining from bouncing on his toes.

Kevin’s expression was still far away but he nodded. “I assume Andrew will want to see that I’m still alive,” he said, getting to his feet.

“Hurry up,” said Neil.

Kevin gave him a once-over, noting his agitation. “I’m sure the other Neil took good care of him.”

Neil gave him a flat look. “That’s what I’m worried about.”

In a rare moment of empathy, Kevin clapped him on the shoulder before following him down to the maintenance bay.

Thea joined them once they got there. Kevin started talking to her about his calculations; her eyes looked glazed as she nodded periodically at whatever he was saying— Neil wasn’t paying close enough attention to catch his words. He was too busy watching the bay doors and willing them to open.

Waiting for the Marauder to dock was excruciating. It seemed like an eternity passed before the door connecting the maintenance bay and the docking bay cranked open.

Nicky and Erik were the first ones through the doors. The two of them were quickly enveloped in hugs by M’Att and Dan. Aaron and Katelyn followed and were greeted by Renee, Allison, and Jean. Neil went up on his tiptoes to catch a glimpse of the Marauder occupant that he most cared about.

Andrew cut through the noisy crowd like a scythe. He had his duffel over his shoulder and was carrying a large, knobbly, metallic object. Kevin took a couple steps forward and presented himself to Andrew, almost standing at attention. Andrew barely looked at him. He shoved the metallic object into Kevin’s chest; Kevin looked down at it in consternation, automatically bringing his hands up to hold it.

“Andrew,” said Neil, unable to wait any longer. He could feel a relieved smile overtake his face. “Long time no see.”

Their eyes met briefly and then Andrew looked away. “Hello, Neil,” he said in a dull voice, and then brushed past him on his way out of the maintenance bay. Neil watched him go with hurt and confusion. He turned to find Kevin looking as puzzled as he felt.

“Maybe he’s tired?” Kevin suggested.

Neil shrugged and turned back to the others. Although Dan and M’Att and Allison were all excitedly talking about what they’d been doing, the Marauder’s crew were subdued. Even Nicky was being uncharacteristically quiet. Jean was still watching Neil with trepidation.

“Something’s gone wrong,” Neil said to himself.

Kevin looked at him sharply. “What do you mean?” he asked.

Before he could answer, M’Att’s voice rang out loudly through the entire room. “Wait a second,” he exclaimed. “Where’s the other Neil?”

* * *

Kevin was still trying to wrap his head around what Katelyn and Nicky had told them. That the other Neil had been mind cleansed by his father and then euphemistically “put out of his misery” in accordance with his previously-stated wishes. Kevin had always assumed that Neil was exaggerating about how terrible his father was; there was no way he would ever do such a thing to his own child. Up until now he hadn’t really believed that Lola had been in league with Neil’s father.

He didn’t quite know how to feel. He was sad that Neil was dead but it didn’t feel real to him. He had Neil here with him. He was safe and whole and alive. It was hard to worry too much about the fate of the other Neil. He figured that meant he was a terrible person.

He was trying not to think about it; not to think about how Neil’s face had gone completely blank as soon as he’d heard what happened; not to think about how Andrew hadn’t spoken to any of them since coming back on board. Instead, he was examining the object that Andrew had shoved at him. It looked kind of like the little cartoon mines in Minesweeper. It felt solid and the surface was smooth. As far as he could tell it didn’t open or have any secret catches. He wasn’t sure what it was. Some kind of sculpture, maybe?

The door to his room swung open and he looked up expectantly. Andrew was standing there, his face completely void of expression.

“Hey, Andrew, how are—”

“Tell me what happened while I was away,” said Andrew cutting him off. Although his face was placid, his tone brooked no argument.

“Shouldn’t you be asking Neil?” asked Kevin.

Andrew’s stare didn’t waver nor did he react in any other way to Kevin’s question. He simply waited for the information he’d requested.

Kevin launched into the story. He spoke about the Breakaway colonies and how boring they’d been. He glossed over his own encounter with the royals, but he made sure to detail Neil’s recklessness and his impromptu engagement that led to almost being killed by a Scarran. He wanted to provoke a reaction from Andrew— he wasn’t quite sure _what_ exactly, maybe a sarcastic comment or a grimace?— but he remained as still as a statue.

Kevin then told the story of Kayleigh and their actions in the Uessey system, not sparing any details about what he’d been able to do with the wormhole. Still, Andrew did not react.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” demanded Kevin when he was finished his recitation.

“What would you like me to say,” said Andrew blandly.

“I don’t know; anything!” replied Kevin hotly. “I just told you that we disintegrated a Scarran dreadnought. _This_ is the technology that the Peacekeepers are after and I have it now! Don’t you care?”

“No,” said Andrew without emotion. “I don’t care about anything.”

“Any more,” said Kevin pointedly. “You used to.”

Andrew turned to leave.

“Andrew, wait,” said Kevin.

Andrew stopped moving but didn’t turn back to look at Kevin.

“What is this thing?” Kevin asked, hefting up the mine-like object.

“It’s a gag gift,” said Andrew, still staring straight ahead. “From Neil.” Kevin looked down at the object, wondering how it could possibly be funny. Andrew turned slightly and caught his eye. “It’s the reason he’s dead,” he said and departed, leaving Kevin more confused than before he’d asked.

* * *

It wasn’t long before Neil had to get away from the others. Now _everyone_ was treating him as if he was fragile; M’Att and Dan kept sending him worried looks and Nicky’s eyes readily filled with tears whenever he looked at him. He considered retreating into the vents but what he really wanted was to track down Andrew and force him to speak to him. He wouldn’t let himself breach Andrew’s clear boundaries, so he headed to the maintenance bay to get a distasteful task out of the way.

He gazed at the Marauder silently for some time before he was able to convince himself to board it. He’d never been on it before and stepping inside made him feel like an intruder.

He was surprised to find Katelyn in the engine room. She seemed to be sorting parts or doing some kind of maintenance. Maybe busy work; he wasn’t sure.

“Oh, hey, Neil,” she greeted, catching sight of him. “I thought I’d get to work cataloguing what repairs I should do while we’re on Exy.” She smiled at him conspiratorially. “You know how much easier it is to do repairs on this thing when it’s not in space.”

“I don’t, actually,” said Neil. It was true of most spacecraft, but he personally had never worked on the Marauder before.

Katelyn smile slipped off her face. “Right,” she said, mostly to herself.

The resulting silence was awkward. “I came to clean out Neil’s quarters,” said Neil, breaking it. “Most of the stuff he took was mine, anyway.”

Katelyn smiled again, but this time it looked forced. “Of course,” she said. “Top tier. Neil claimed room 4.”

Neil nodded and turned to leave, before pausing. “I’m sorry your friend is dead,” he said. “I’m sorry I’m not him.”

She looked down. “I miss him, but I’m glad you’re here. Maybe we could be friends, too?” She sounded hopeful.

Neil swallowed the lump in his throat. He didn’t know how to deal with seeing people grieve, especially not for _him_. “I’d like that,” he managed to say before heading up to the top tier. The crew quarters were tiny and cramped. And empty. Neil looked around room 4 in consternation and then ducked back out to ensure he was in the correct room. There was almost no indication that anybody had been staying in it.

“Katelyn,” he tapped his communicator, “you said room 4?”

“Uh huh,” Katelyn answered distractedly.

“It’s empty; did someone already collect his stuff?”

There was a very heavy pause. “Check room 3,” she finally said, sounding pained.

Neil pushed his way into the room across the narrow corridor. She’d been right; this room showed signs of life. Neil recognized several items of his clothing, strewn haphazardly around the way they usually were in his own quarters. His duffel was shoved under the bed and there were a few of his possessions around the room.

That wasn’t the whole story, though. There were empty places, space where there had obviously been items until recently. If Neil squinted, he could almost see what was missing: Andrew’s things, mixing easily with his own.

He picked up his duffel and sat heavily on the small bed. He’d assumed that Andrew and other Neil had continued their relationship but seeing the evidence of it hit him like a blow. This is what he’d wanted and he’d missed out on; what he’d never have, judging by Andrew’s inability to look at him. Now his face was nothing but a reminder to Andrew about the person he’d cared for and lost.

His favourite shirt was stuffed under the pillow. He dragged it out and stared at it sightlessly, tracing the fabric with his fingertips. He was overcome with a wave of jealousy mixed with anger and grief.

“Doesn’t seem right, does it?” he asked the air. “That I should be jealous of you. You’re dead. My worst nightmare happened to you. Nicky said that it was my father who did it. Who caught you and mind cleansed you.” It was both difficult and easy to imagine. It was a scene that had played over and over in his nightmares for years. “It was because of the trick we pulled at the shadow depository that they were even in this region of space. You’re the one who paid the price to get Andrew back.” He was certain that Neil thought the sacrifice was worth it; he would have if their positions had been reversed. “And now I’m free. As far as the Nebari know, Abram is dead. They even saw a body to prove it. The others didn’t tell Hatford we’d been doubled. No one knows about me, no one’s looking for me. Because of you.” He looked around the tiny room and scrubbed a hand through his hair. “It’s not fair. You were happy; you had Andrew. And now you’re gone and he’s...broken.” He shook his head and glanced down at the shirt he was holding. There was a small imperfection in the fabric that he didn’t recognize. He wondered if he’d never noticed or if the shirt had sustained some damage. He tightened his grip, making the scars on his hands stand out starkly. They were both old and new: some he shared with the other Neil, some he’d gotten recently and were his own. The two of them weren’t the same, they weren’t interchangeable. And he wasn’t the one Andrew wanted. He closed his eyes sadly. “It should have been me.”

He shook his head and stood, slowly packing up other Neil’s belongings into the duffel bag and desperately wishing things were different.

* * *

“Should we… do something?” asked M’Att tentatively, breaking the awkward silence that had come over the centre chamber. “For Neil?”

Kevin had come in to eat lunch and had found most of his shipmates already there, studiously avoiding eye contact. No one knew what to say; Kevin imagined it was as surreal and hard to grasp for the rest of them as it was for him. Luckily, neither Neil or Andrew were present, which would have only served to make everything even more awkward.

Knox, Kevin noted, was sitting pressed against Jean. He’d started his attempted seduction of the Banik almost as soon as he’d come on board, much to Allison’s ire.

“Jean is a member of my pod,” she’d said angrily when she’d realized what was happening. “Mine and Renee’s.”

“I mean no disrespect; I wasn’t aware he was spoken for,” Knox had replied, backing away from her anger.

Allison had rolled her eyes. “I meant that if you want to seduce him, you have to seduce us, too.”

Kevin wasn’t sure what had happened since then— he spent the majority of his time barricaded in his quarters working on the equations that were just beyond his grasp— but Knox was now sandwiched between Jean and Allison, idly tracing patterns on Allison’s shoulder, so he assumed they’d worked it out.

“Like what?” asked Allison, sounding irritated. It was a defensive mechanism, Kevin knew. She was upset about the other Neil’s death and didn’t want to show it. He wondered when he’s learned to read her so well. He’d never had close friends before. It was probably a side effect of being effectively trapped together, but it seemed like more than that. Like they’d become a family when he wasn’t paying attention.

“I don’t know, like a memorial service?” said M’Att. He turned to Nicky. “Did you guys do anything when it happened?”

“We cremated him,” winced Nicky. “Neil’s uncle told us that was traditional for Nebari, so we built him a pyre. We didn’t have enough time for anything fancy; we had to make it back here to rendezvous with you.”

Involuntarily, Kevin snorted a laugh. He buried his face in his hands to try to disguise it as a sob. This always happened to him; at his grandmother’s funeral he’d broken out into giggles because he could just imagine the look on her face if she’d seen all the delicate flowers and heard the heartfelt speeches. “Where the fuck’s the whisky?” she would have demanded in her Irish brogue. Kevin had laughed helplessly all through the service; he’d always had inappropriate reactions to tragedy.

“What is it, Kevin?” demanded Dan testily.

“It’s just… cremated,” said Kevin, trying and mostly failing to stifle his mirth. “Before he left, remember how we were differentiating between the two Neils? We were all calling that one ‘Burned Neil’. And now…” It took a moment before the others reacted, mostly with horror.

Thea punched Kevin’s shoulder. “What about Andrew?” she asked, thankfully changing the subject and diverting attention away from Kevin. “What does he want to do?”

“He hasn’t said much since Neil died,” said Nicky.

“We have to do something,” said M’Att stridently. “It’s wrong to pretend that the other Neil never existed. If I died, I’d want you to remember me.”

Silence followed his words, this time thoughtful instead of awkward.

“I think it’s a good idea,” spoke up Jean unexpectedly. He rarely gave his opinion to the group. He looked up and caught Renee’s eyes. “We should remember our dead.”

She nodded gravely, picking up on his wavelength. “I, too, have been thinking on the destruction of Thea’s ship,” she said.

Kevin started. He hadn’t thought about that in a while, although it was the reason there had been two Neils. But he hadn’t been the only one duplicated: Kevin and Renee and Jean and Thea had most likely been duplicated as well. They’d left the duplicates behind and it was easier to pretend they’d never existed. He hadn’t even realized how awful that was: if he had been the one who died, he wouldn’t want to be written off as a fluke.

“Alright,” said Dan, clearing her throat. “Let’s tell the others and gather in the…?” She looked around, obviously waiting for suggestions.

“Observation lounge,” said Neil from the doorway. Kevin didn’t know how long he’d been listening in. He wasn’t looking at any of them, instead focusing on a point above their heads. “He would want it to be in the observation lounge.”

* * *

Neil felt voyeuristic, like he was attending his own funeral. He wasn’t sure if he should even be there but no one had yet objected to his presence and he felt that he owed it to the other Neil to acknowledge his existence.

Everyone but Andrew was there, while Wymack was observing through the holoclam. Even Knox attended, despite never having met the other Neil and barely knowing Neil himself. Neil knew that Nicky, Katelyn, and Kevin had all attempted to convince Andrew to come but he expressed no interest or desire to be there. Neil wanted to talk to him but his instincts told him it would only make the situation worse. He hated feeling so helpless.

“We have gathered together to remember our fallen friends,” said Renee standing in front of the large viewport. The Palmetto sun was centred behind her, giving her an ethereal glow. “Pa’u Natalie Rebirth, Stykera Jean, Pathfinder Thea Muldani, Commander Kevin Day, and Neil Abram.” She spoke each name with love and gravitas. “Although it is difficult to believe that they are gone since a version of them still remain, the dead deserve our thanks and regards. Today we say goodbye and promise to remember them and honour their memories.”

Neil bowed his head and closed his eyes as Renee began a prayer for the lost.

He’d never told anyone but he was the one who’d almost been left behind on Thea’s ship. The other Neil had already been on board the escape shuttle when he’d arrived. He’d been worried that everyone would forever see him as the copy if he admitted it, despite the fact he intellectually knew that neither of them was ‘the copy’ just as neither of them was ‘the original’. He wondered if the others ever speculated why they were the one who survived and whether the doubles had still been alive when the ship exploded. Had they thought they’d been abandoned once the shuttle had ejected?

Renee’s prayers continued, now speaking words of gratitude and farewell. _Goodbye Abram_ , thought Neil, both to bid farewell to the other Neil and to bury his past forever. _Thank you_.

Opening his eyes, he caught a flash of movement near the entrance of the observation lounge. Andrew was out in the corridor, facing away but clearly listening.

_I’ll look after him for you_ , Neil promised. He watched as Andrew left as silently as he’d arrived, his shoulders tense. _As much as he’ll let me, anyway_.

* * *

Kevin stood in front of the others nervously. Dan had gathered them all in Wymack’s den to listen to Kevin’s proposal for what they would do about the Peacekeepers who pursued them. Kevin really hoped the majority would side with him and agree that Ichirou had to be stopped. He didn’t have a backup plan.

Even Andrew had deigned to attend, although he stood a little apart from the others and appeared uninterested in the proceedings. Kevin was starting to believe what he’d said about not feeling anything; nothing seemed to be able to pierce his icy exterior. Neil was doing an admirable job of not looking over at Andrew too often or too conspicuously.

Kevin cleared his throat. “All of you either saw first hand or heard what exactly a wormhole can do,” he said. “We know that the Peacekeepers Ichirou and Riko Moriyama are looking for any knowledge about wormholes that they can find. I propose that we stop them. Permanently.” Then his promise to Kayleigh would be upheld. She may not have been his mother but he wasn’t about to break his word to her.

He waited for a reaction.

“Oh, was that the whole speech?” asked Allison. “I was kind of hoping for something more specific than: kill our enemies.”

“The device you used to destroy the dreadnought,” said Knox slowly, “can you make another one?”

“Not easily,” said Kevin. “And I don’t want to. I don’t want something like that in the galaxy, even if it’s in our control. I also don’t… most of the people on that ship were innocent.” He swallowed heavily; this thought had been preying on his mind. “I want to destroy the Moriyamas’ Command Carrier but I want to give the civilians time to evacuate.”

“There are no civilians aboard a Command Carrier,” said Dan. “They’re all soldiers.”

“And techs and other support staff and children in training,” argued Katelyn. “I won’t go along with your plan if it involves killing them all.”

“Nor will I,” said Renee. “Kevin? What are you thinking?”

“As far as we know, Peacekeeper High Command don’t care that much about us, right?” said Kevin. “Wormholes are Ichirou’s pet project and Neil said that he overheard that Riko was called back from the Uncharted Territories but that he ignored the summons. If the Command Carrier was destroyed, would they send anyone else after us?” He aimed the question at the ex-Peacekeepers.

Aaron shot Andrew a look, but it became clear that Andrew wasn’t going to respond. “Probably not,” admitted Aaron. “They can’t send warships into the Uncharted Territories without potentially provoking the Scarrans or the Nebari. I doubt High Command are happy there’s a Command Carrier here in the first place, which is likely why they called Moriyama back when he wasn’t immediately successful at catching you.”

“Also, gossip at the Gammak base was that Ichirou is something of a target of ridicule back at Command,” said Katelyn. “They gave him a research base out here mostly to make him go away. I’m sure they wouldn’t be interested in avenging his death.”

“That may be true, but if we destroy the Command Carrier using a wormhole weapon and leave behind thousands of witnesses, don’t you think Peacekeeper Command _might_ suddenly become much more interested in pursuing that technology?” asked Allison.

“If I can do what I think I can it will seem like a massive explosion in the reactor core,” said Kevin. “They won’t know what hit them.”

“So what you want us to do is destroy the Command Carrier, ensuring that Riko and Ichirou go with it, while giving most of the others on board time to evacuate and signal for rescue,” said Dan thoughtfully. “And if we succeed at that, no one will be chasing us anymore?”

“We’ll only be your garden variety escaped prisoners,” said Nicky.

“I was thinking I could demand your exonerations,” said Kevin.

“What do you mean?” asked M’Att. “I don’t think you’re in a position to demand anything from them.”

“To do what I’ve planned, I’ve got to be on board the Command Carrier,” admitted Kevin, getting to the diciest part of his plan.

“You want to _give_ yourself to the very people who are hunting for you?” demanded Dan angrily.

“Who can pry your secrets out of your head?” added Neil.

“I will offer them a trade,” said Kevin. “Wormhole knowledge for your exonerations. Then, when we get what we want, I'll blow up the ship.”

“What’s to stop them from imprisoning you and killing the rest of us?” asked M’Att.

“I… have not figured that part out yet. I figured we’d split into teams; I’ll work on the wormhole side of things, with Thea and Knox and Neil; the rest of you can work out the logistics.”

Dan snorted and muttered something uncomplimentary.

“This is incredibly dangerous, Kevin,” chided Thea.

“It’s much more dangerous in the long run to let the Moriyamas have any access to wormhole technology,” said Kevin. “We have to stop them.”

“We’ve skipped over the most salient point,” said Neil. “Destroying their ship from the inside and making it look like a reactor core overload: you can do that? How?”

Kevin paused. “I can do it in theory.”

No one looked impressed.

“I just need more time,” he pleaded. “I’m still working on the equations that let me understand wormholes but I have to study them in practice.”

“How long will it take you?” asked Dan skeptically. “What if you never figure it out?”

“Give me a quarter cycle,” bargained Kevin. “A quarter cycle of wormhole study and if I haven’t figured it out I’ll give up and we’ll figure out something else.”

He could tell the others weren’t convinced.

“This is a chance for you to go home,” he said, a little desperately. “If this works… if this works, we’ll all be free. Give me a chance.” He steeled himself. “Who’s with me?”

No one moved at first and his heart sank. Then Andrew stepped forward. He walked to Kevin’s side and turned to face the others. He said nothing, his face still blank, but the message was clear.

“I’m in,” said Thea after another beat.

“Me, too,” said Neil, his gaze unwavering from Andrew’s face.

One by one the others agreed to give him a quarter cycle to figure it out.

“Where do you want to go to study wormholes?” asked Wymack.

“I know a good place,” said Kevin. “It’s… like a hum, in my head.”

“Sounds legit,” deadpanned Allison.

* * *

Neil found Andrew in the neural cluster. It was familiar; they’d spent a lot of time here together. This was the first time that Neil wasn’t convinced he was welcome. It made him feel off balance.

“Hi,” he said. Andrew didn’t look up or acknowledge him. “We haven’t gotten a chance to, uh…” He’d never felt unsure around Andrew before; it was throwing him off, making him forget everything he’d planned to say. “We haven’t spoken since you got back. I wanted to let you know that I’m here if you need anything. I’m the only one with experience of having someone I care about mind cleansed.”

Andrew put down the spanner he’d been working with and picked up another tool. He showed no sign of noticing Neil’s presence.

Neil launched into a rambling story about how he’d become friends with one of his father’s staff members when he was about eight cycles old and how it had turned out that the staff member was actually a member of the resistance sent to spy on Neil’s father. Neil could still remember the abject shock and horror that he’d felt when one day his former friend was a blank, empty shell who didn’t know him any longer. He knew that the story probably wasn’t helpful, but he didn’t know what else to say.

“What do you want, Neil?” said Andrew, mercifully cutting Neil off before he’d gotten too far along in his story.

“I know this is hard for you,” said Neil. “You were in a relationship—”

“We weren’t,” said Andrew succinctly, cutting him off. “It was recreating, nothing more.”

“Uh,” said Neil, stuttering to a stop. He knew that wasn’t true for Neil; he had been planning on telling Andrew that he had feelings for him even before they were doubled. And the shared quarters he’d seen on the Marauder indicated Andrew was lying.

“It meant nothing,” Andrew continued.

“It meant something to—” tried Neil.

Andrew interrupted again, his voice still completely emotionless. “I was going to put a halt to things, anyway,” he said. “I suspected that he was starting to feel something for me, which is unfair since I felt nothing in return. Our recreation had run its course, anyway. We both know it was never going to last.”

“Right,” said Neil, feeling like he’d been punched. “So…”

Andrew finally looked up at him. Neil almost recoiled at how cold his eyes were. The others had always claimed that Andrew was blank, but Neil had never understood. His eyes had always shown something when looking at Neil: at first just crushed interest, but growing into something more the longer they’d known each other. Now they were completely void. “So there’s no reason for you to be here,” said Andrew. “The Nebari are no longer after you and once the Moryamas are taken care of, you’ll be free to run like you’ve wanted to ever since you got on board. Our deal is no longer relevant; you can go.”

“You’re trying to kick me off Exy?” asked Neil in disbelief.

Andrew shrugged. “Do what you want; I don’t care.” He turned back to his work, dismissing Neil entirely.

Neil stumbled out of the neural cluster, feeling like his stomach had dropped into his knees. He twisted one hand into his hair and yanked to keep himself focused. He wasn’t going to fall apart; he was stronger than that.

He took off at a run, wanting to escape: to climb in a transport pod and leave like Andrew had told him to. But he wasn’t Abram anymore, he wasn’t a frightened child. He’d buried that part of himself and Exy was his home. He wasn’t going anywhere.

He was panting when he reached his destination so he took a moment to compose himself before knocking frantically.

Kevin was dishevelled, his hair standing up at odd angles when he answered the door to his quarters. “Neil? What’s wrong?” he asked, concerned.

“I need to not think for a bit,” said Neil.

“Do… you… want to... do math?” suggested Kevin slowly.

Neil laughed mirthlessly. “Yeah, Kevin. Let’s do math.”

* * *

Andrew waited until Neil’s footsteps faded away before he retrieved the tiny vial from the smallest pouch on his weapons belt. He screwed open the cap and took a whiff of the substance inside, willing it to work quickly. He was alarmed to see he already running low. He’d been taking triple the recommended dosage.

It was something he’d purchased in the marketplace after stumbling away from Neil’s funeral pyre, numb with grief and anger and self-recriminations. It allowed him to speak the phrase _Neil is dead_ without any emotions getting in the way. The woman who sold it to him told him it was to deaden pain and other feelings. By then he’d realized Neil had only died because Andrew’s emotions made him weak. When he’d been a Peacekeeper soldier he’d been sharp and efficient. His entanglements on Exy, with Neil, had made him slow and had resulted in Neil’s death. He couldn’t take that chance again. He needed to be objective, especially for this desperate plan of Kevin’s.

The last solar had been trying; he’d had to keep dosing himself to deaden his emotions whenever they tried to slip out. Cleaning out his shared room on the Marauder, coming back to Exy, seeing the Neil who was still living… and then there had been the memorial service. He hadn’t let himself feel anything but he had promised the dead Neil that he wouldn’t fail again. No more needless distractions.

Without the effects of the distillate of lakka he wasn’t sure he would have been able to send Neil away from the neural cluster. He definitely wouldn’t have been able to do it so convincingly. He needed it to keep distance between them.

It was concerning that they were headed into unoccupied space for Kevin’s research; it would be a while before they restocked. Therefore, he’d have to find more of what he needed on board.

Knox answered his knock on the door to his room with benevolent bemusement. “Hey, mate,” he said easily. “What can I do for you?”

Andrew wasn’t sure, not did he really care, why the other man was suddenly on board. “Do you have any distillate of lakka?” he asked.

“Why do you ask?” Knox prevaricated cagily.

“You seem like the type of person to have a wide range of mood altering recreational drugs.”

Knox’s face split into a wide grin. “You’ve got me there. I do have some. Why do you need it?”

Andrew didn’t answer.

Knox’s grin slipped a little. “You know, preventing yourself from feeling grief doesn’t make it go away.”

“I am not grieving,” said Andrew, a little sharply. “I need to stay focused. We’re going up against the Peacekeepers; I need to be at my best.”

Knox didn’t look convinced but he disappeared into his quarters and returned with a small vial. “I don’t have much; don’t use it up too quickly.”

Andrew took the vial and closed his hand around it securely. “What do you want for it?”

“You can owe me one,” said Knox, looking troubled now. “You know, maybe talking about it would help? Renee is excellent at—”

“No,” said Andrew. He turned to leave. “Don’t tell anyone about this.”

Knox tapped the side of his nose. “It’ll be our little secret,” he said.


	25. Chapter 25

Andrew woke with a start. He automatically reached for Neil but his hand only found cold sheets. It took him a couple moments to remember why. He was back on Exy. One Neil was dead and he’d told the other to get lost. Sentiment was weakness and weakness got Neil killed and he wasn’t ever going to let that happen again.

He breathed deeply and screwed his eyes shut. The nightmare that had woken him was the same one he’d been having since Neil's death: dead Neil— multiple dead Neils, actually. The cut open one he’d seen in the cold room on fake Earth, the one shot full of Peacekeeper bullets in the unrealized reality, the plant duplicate with tendrils hanging out of its pulse wounds, the mind cleansed one looking at him without recognition— asking _why_. Why hadn’t he saved him?

_Too late_ , whispered fake Earth Neil.

_Too weak_ , accused unrealized reality Neil.

_Too distracted_ , taunted plant Neil.

_Too slow_ , said mind cleansed Neil.

Andrew rolled out of bed to get his vial of distillate of lakka. It only worked for a couple arns; after it wore off while he slept, there was nothing to stop his nightmares. He should be used to them by now; he’d been plagued by nightmares all his life. At least after Betsy had removed Proust’s neurochip he wasn’t bothered by dreams about his time with Spear, the memories hazy and unclear; however, he’d trade one of those worn-in and oft repeated nightmares for his current ones in a heartbeat.

He dressed, knowing that sleep would now elude him. Inhaling the distillate deeply, he closed his eyes and willed it to start working quickly. The panel by the door indicated that he’d managed almost two arns of sleep, which was about average for the fifteen solars since he’d returned to Exy. He’d have to find some way to stop his nightmares; sleep deprivation would be detrimental if Kevin’s plan worked and they ended up on an enemy Command Carrier.

He headed up to command to relieve whoever was on duty. They might as well get some sleep if Andrew wasn’t going to. It was just his luck that Neil was sitting cross legged on the holotable, idly flipping an object in his hands. He stilled when Andrew entered, glancing at him briefly before looking away.

The distillate hadn’t quite kicked in yet so Andrew felt a pang when he saw him. “Why are you here?” he asked, glad his voice didn’t give him away.

“I sent Dan to sleep,” said Neil. “I figured she could get some rest if I was awake anyway.”

“Why are you awake?”

Neil gazed at him silently for several microts, his eyes searching. “I haven’t been sleeping well,” he admitted. Andrew was hit with a sense memory of Neil sleeping soundly against him. They’d been tangled together because of the cramped space on the Marauder, Neil wrapped around him, his breath hot against Andrew’s neck.

Andrew breathed in slowly, willing the memory to depart. He didn’t want to think about that.

Neil was watching him carefully. He jumped down off the table. “I can go if you want,” he offered.

“No,” said Andrew, moving to a nearby console. “You were here first.” He busied himself with the readouts, ignoring Neil’s presence. He could see that Neil was observing him out of the corner of his eye, but he immersed himself in examining recent sensor sweeps of their location and paid him no mind.

“Can I ask you something?” said Neil, breaking the silence almost three quarters of an arn later.

“If I say no will you ask anyway?” asked Andrew.

“No,” said Neil, visibly stung. “If you say no, I’ll leave you alone.”

Andrew recognized that he’d hurt Neil’s feelings but his drug had kicked in and it no longer affected him, his emotions effectively deadened. “What do you want,” he said flatly.

“I know that the other Neil was mind cleansed,” said Neil hesitantly, watching Andrew as if he were an explosive that might suddenly go off.

“That’s right,” said Andrew, the thought of it causing no pain.

“Was it you who killed him afterwards?” asked Neil. “Like you promised?”

Andrew paused. “No,” he admitted. “Aaron did it.” He hadn’t wanted to, but he owed Andrew.

“Oh,” said Neil, chewing his lip and thinking it over. “Did he release you from your promise? I was planning to.”

“He did.”

Neil was quiet before speaking up again, “It wasn’t your fault.”

“You weren’t there. You have no idea whose fault it was.”

“It was my father’s fault,” said Neil sharply. “It was nothing but bad luck; you didn’t do anything wrong.”

_Too late, too weak, too distracted, too slow_. The words echoed in his head. It was his failure, his mistake.

Andrew pushed himself away from the console. Being near Neil made the distillate of lakka wear off too quickly; he should avoid him from now on.

“Neil didn’t blame you,” said Neil as Andrew reached the doorway.

Andrew stopped walking and stayed facing away from him. He wanted to argue that this Neil had no idea what he was talking about but he doubted his argument would have any traction: Neil was both incredibly stubborn and if anyone could guess at the other Neil’s thoughts at the end, it was him. “Maybe he should have,” he said.

* * *

“I can’t believe Dan and M’Att are getting married,” sighed Allison. She gave a distasteful look to where she was attempting to make a wedding cake out of their food cubes and other provisions.

“Really?” asked Kevin, sitting in the centre chamber poking at the metal knobby sphere that Andrew had brought him. “I thought it was a foregone conclusion that they would.”

“Obviously,” snorted Allison. “I meant, I can’t believe Dan and M’Att are getting married _now_.”

“Well, we might die soon,” said Neil dryly. He was sharing a table with Kevin and fiddling with a DRD, trying to figure out how to get it to set off tiny fireworks.

They were all (except for Kevin, who hadn’t been assigned a specific task yet) preparing for M'Att and Dan's wedding. The two of them had made the announcement that they wanted to get married and they weren’t willing to wait. They were about a month into the three month timeframe the others had granted Kevin to study wormholes, and he’d been making steady progress. It looked as if he might actually figure it out in time for them to attack the Command Carrier. He didn’t blame Dan and M’Att for not wanting to wait. Luckily, there was a priest on board. The rest of them had been put to work preparing for the last-minute celebration.

“Speaking of true love and all that dren,” said Allison to Neil, “what are you going to do about your tiny monster?”

“Excellent segue,” muttered Kevin.

“Don’t call him that,” said Neil rotely. “And nothing. Why would I do something? He doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“That’s a frelling obvious lie,” said Allison. “Even this one—” she jerked a thumb in Kevin’s direction “—isn’t mentally deficient enough to believe that.”

“Hey,” said Kevin. “I feel that you could have made your point without disparaging my character.”

“What would be the fun in that?” asked Allison with a sharp smile.

“She’s right, though, Neil. It’s bullshit.”

“Bullshit,” repeated Neil slowly, his accent making it sound like _boolsheet_. “Bullshit. Which one is a bull again? Is it the one you ride?”

“Only for about eight seconds before being violently thrown off,” said Kevin. “A bull is a male cow. Cows are the ones used for milk, leather, and meat.” At least he thought that was correct. His knowledge of livestock was actually fairly limited, but it didn’t really matter what he told them. It wasn’t like they were ever going to Earth.

“How is bullshit different from horseshit?” asked Neil.

“It’s not,” said Kevin. “And stop deflecting.”

Neil sighed. “I’m not going to do anything,” he said. “I’m going to respect what Andrew wants. Few enough people in his life have done so; I may as well extend the courtesy.”

“But that’s stupid. It’s been forty solars of this awkwardness and avoidance and the only thing that’s resulted is that you’re both miserable,” said Allison in annoyance.

“Look, I don’t know what you want me to say,” said Neil irritably. “It’s not _me_ he wants. I agree he’s lying about not caring about the other Neil, but it doesn’t matter. To him I’m nothing but a cheap copy who shares a face with the person he actually wants. There’s no good ending here. I’m going to have to find a way to let him go and move on.”

“But Neil—” said Kevin.

“But nothing,” snapped Neil. “Drop it. Be happy for Dan and M’Att and leave me alone.”

* * *

Neil figured the maintenance bay wasn’t the _best_ room for a wedding but it was the only room on the ship that had enough room for the various competitions that seemed required for a Luxan/Illanic joining. Most things had been pushed back against the bulkheads to make space for the various contests. Neil was sure that M’Att and Dan were making up some of them— the traditional “best friend toss” for one— but they seemed to be enjoying themselves, which was what was important.

M’Att had asked Neil to stand up for him (and to be his projectile in the best friend toss). Neil had been surprised to say the least.

M’Att had clapped him on the shoulder. “Who is my best friend, if not you?” he’d asked.

“Dan?” suggested Neil.

M’Att had laughed. “I’ll give you that one. But she can’t stand as my witness as I pledge my troth to her and she would have my mivonks if I try to toss her.”

Neil, feeling oddly touched (and highly suspicious about the tossing), had agreed.

It had turned out that the best friend toss was exactly what he’d expected. M’Att won that contest, able to throw Neil much farther than Dan could throw Renee. Neil wondered if Dan had considered asking Allison to be her projectile for this event and how Allison reacted if she had.

Bruised and sore, he limped over to a table to take a break from the festivities. It didn’t occur to him until after he had already sat down that he was supposed to be staying away from Andrew to respect the other man's clear desire to avoid him at all costs. He’d subconsciously drifted to sit near him. He thought about moving but was too tired to do so. It was Andrew's problem, anyway.

Andrew handed over a little jar of bruise cream that Aaron had distributed to all of them before the contests began. Neil had already used all of his; he nodded his thanks and started liberally applying it to his tender skin.

“I don’t understand the purpose of this,” said Andrew, surprising Neil by speaking. He spent most of his time since returning to Exy pretending Neil wasn’t visible.

“The contests? They’re to promote partnership and a healthy way to solve arguments or something,” shrugged Neil. He didn’t look at Andrew, too busy watching the others. “Who knows about Luxan culture?”

“Not of the contests; they almost make sense. Marriage.”

“Non-Peacekeeper Sebaceans practice marriage,” Neil pointed out. “It can’t be that foreign a concept to you.”

“Even among non-military Sebaceans actual marriages are middling rare,” said Andrew. “It’s common knowledge that relationships don’t last forever.”

Neil wondered if Andrew was trying to hurt him. “Among the Breakaway Colonies it seemed common,” said Neil. “We spent about fifty solars on those planets and I managed to get engaged.” He wanted to provoke a reaction from Andrew, instead of this blasted blankness. The others didn’t seem to notice a difference but Neil had never seen Andrew so emotionless.

“I hear your engagement ended with a fight against a Scarran.”

Neil grinned to himself. “All good stories end with punching a Scarran,” he said.

Andrew didn’t reply. Several hundred microts later, Kevin stumbled over and fell in a heap next to Neil. He draped an arm around his shoulders.

“I’ve come to join you at the singles table,” he slurred.

“You’re not single,” said Neil, fruitlessly attempting to pry his arm off of him. “But you are very drunk.”

“It’s batzh… bathis… batty juice,” said Kevin. “M’Att had a secret stash. Shouldn’t he have been sharing before?” he frowned unhappily.

“Bathesdagiz,” said Neil. “Do you know what it’s made out of?”

“I do not and I forbid you to tell me.”

“It’s the secretion from the glands of a—” Kevin shoved a hand over Neil’s mouth to prevent him from speaking.

“It is delicious and you’re not allowed to ruin it for me,” said Kevin. He rested his head on top of Neil’s. “Either it’s very strong or my alcohol tolerance is shot. I used to drink vodka like water and now I’ve only had two of these and my head is swimming. Thea’s had four and she’s winning the contest.” He looked sadly over to where Thea was indeed beating Dan in some kind of weight-lifting contest. “I don’t understand what is happening at all.”

“Are Earth weddings not like this?” teased Neil. “No feats of strength?”

“No,” said Kevin glumly. “Just people spending way too much money on a big party. How about Nebari weddings? Do they have contests?”

“Do we seem like a wild and fun people to you?” asked Neil. “No contests. Just saying the words of bonding in front of an official. Oh, and exchanging the symbolic dreft flower, of course.”

“Dreft flower,” said Kevin peering at him, his eyes fuzzy. “Tell me about it. I like learning things.” He was still draped across Neil’s shoulders.

“Oh,” said Neil, surprised by Kevin’s interest. “Well, you know how I told you Nebari are asexual? There’s actually a good evolutionary reason for that. See, Nebari Prime is a very inhospitable planet with incredibly long, harsh winters. Not anymore, of course, our scientists terraformed the frell out of it about a century ago. But when the Nebari were evolving the winter were killers. Any child that was too young couldn’t survive. Eventually, Nebari evolved so that their sex drive completely shut down during the periods when having a child would result in the death of the baby and usually its parents as they tried to save it. Instead, all babies were conceived in the late winter and born in the late spring.”

“How,” mumbled Kevin into Neil’s hair. He’d started stroking Neil’s arm, like he was a small pet. Neil was more or less used to it. M’Att and Allison both did this to him when they were sleepy.

“The dreft flower. It blooms as soon as the snow starts melting and releases a chemical called cholorodexedrin to attract pollinators. It also induces a period of elevated sexual drives in Nebari and promotes pair bonding. Basically it makes people reproduce and then stick together to raise the babies.”

“So when you get married you give your spouse a flower to make them horny?”

Neil laughed. “Not quite. Wild dreft flowers don’t exist on Nebari Prime anymore; the only ones available are mutants that don’t produce cholorodexedrin. _That_ is highly regulated by the Establishment and only given out in small doses to married couples if they put in a formal request, usually if they want children. I know most couples never bother, not wanting to deal with the life bond.”

“Life bond?” asked Kevin sleepily.

“Nebari mate for life,” explained Neil.

“Like werewolves,” said Kevin, nodding in understanding.

Neil let it go. He’d ask Kevin about werewolves when he wasn’t quite so drunk. “The bond basically means you’re stuck being with one person for the rest of your life and the finality of that scares people.”

“Hmmm,” said Kevin, now petting Neil’s hair.

“This cholorodexedrin,” spoke up Andrew unexpectedly, “is it similar to the hormone drexin?”

“Maybe,” said Neil, glancing in Andrew’s direction. “I think there are several chemically-similar compounds out there. Why?”

“No reason,” said Andrew, although there was something brewing in his eyes. “What is the effect of life bonding?”

“I just told—”

“You only want one person, right. But in practical terms, does it change your behaviour?”

Neil shrugged. “Anecdotally it’s supposed to make you feel safe and secure around your life mate. Less anxious, less paranoid. I don’t know anyone who’s actually gone through with it, so I can’t say how it actually works.”

Andrew got up abruptly and walked out of the room, pulling something from his inside pocket as he left the maintenance bay.

Neil watched him go consideringly. There had been emotion in Andrew’s eyes. Something about what Neil had said had broken through his blank exterior, the hard shell he’d encased himself in after the other Neil had died. Neil wondered what it was that had affected him and how he could do it again.

* * *

Kevin woke with a pounding headache, a dry mouth, and an idea. He definitely hadn't missed hangovers but his drunken dreams had always increased his productivity. Many past colleagues hated him for his ability to turn his hangovers into his biggest breakthroughs.

He turned to shake Thea awake before thinking better of it. She had threatened him with bodily harm on more than one occasion when he woke her and she had both had a lot to drink and won several feats of strength during the wedding festivities. It was probably best if he left her alone.

Waking Knox was out of the question— who knew where he was sleeping and with whom— so he only had one other option. At least Neil rarely slept and was guaranteed to be alone.

Neil was bleary-eyed when he answered Kevin's knock, the whites of his eyes taking on a light blue tone that Kevin knew meant they were bloodshot. He didn't look overly well but Kevin knew he hadn't been drinking, so at least he wasn't hungover.

“I have an idea,” said Kevin breathlessly. “Transport pod!” He waited in anticipation.

Neil squinted suspiciously. “Are you still drunk?”

“No,” said Kevin in affront, before considering and taking stock of himself. “Just a little,” he amended. “But I've previously done great work while slightly inebriated. I had a plan to day drink at work but my mother said that I couldn't become a functional alcoholic just because it made me slightly better at science. But now she's on the other side of the universe; I don't have to listen to her advice anymore. Take that, Mom!”

Neil peered at him. “I started ignoring my mother's advice after she died. She always told me not to risk caring about people cause I'd wind up dead. Turns out she was right.”

Kevin narrowed his eyes. “Trying to get me to go away by making everything awkward isn't going to work. You should know by now that I have zero social consciousness when I have an idea to test.”

“Well, I tried,” sighed Neil. “What were you saying about transport pods?”

“Get dressed. We’ve got to make some modifications.”

“Of course we do,” said Neil yawning. “Now, I suppose?”

“Of course now. When else?”

“I don’t know. When I’m awake?”

“Were you sleeping?” asked Kevin, feeling a small pang of regret. He knew that Neil slept very rarely. It was just a small pang, though. His idea was more important than sleep.

“No,” said Neil ruefully. He disappeared into his room briefly and returned wearing his maintenance jumpsuit. “Lead on,” he said tiredly.

Kevin, on the other hand, was not feeling the slightest bit tired. He was definitely going to crash later, but the anticipation and excitement from his idea would keep him up and working for several arns before that happened. “I had a thought,” he said, striding quickly through the corridors. “We’ve been out surveying wormholes in my module.”

“Right,” said Neil. “Because it has a phase regulator which, according to you and Thea, is the only way to travel through wormholes without being liquified.”

“But it also changes how wormholes act,” said Kevin, “so our readings are affected by its presence. For unbiased data we’ll need to be in a transport pod. Or the Prowler, but I don’t think Andrew will let us.”

“But the transport pod won’t afford us any protection from the wormhole.”

“So we have to modify it!” said Kevin in excitement. “It needs a sensor upgrade and some shielding that can withstand broad-face destruction.”

“Okay…” said Neil slowly. “And _why_ couldn’t this wait until a normal time?”

“No time like the present!”

“You’re oddly cheerful. I don’t like it.”

“You don’t like anything because you’ve just been dumped,” said Kevin meanly.

“Dumped,” repeated Neil in English. “That’s the Human word for it? Sounds about right.”

“Hey,” said Kevin seriously, stopping and reaching out to Neil. “Everything will work out; I know it.”

Neil ducked around him and carried on to the docking bay. “Spouting baseless optimism is even worse than being cheerful,” he said over his shoulder.

* * *

Kevin’s adrenaline was slowly but surely starting to wear off. He and Neil had been at their modifications for several arns and there were still many arns of work in front of them before the pod was ready to take out. His excitement and interest were starting to ebb as his headache came back with a vengeance. It wasn’t as bad as it could have been, since Neil could actually be a thoughtful person and had kept him well hydrated.

“Hey, Kevin,” said Neil, setting aside his wrench and stretching.

“Mmm,” said Kevin fuzzily. He conceded that he needed sleep and also set aside his tools. “Whatzit?”

“What are you going to do after this?”

“Sleep.”

“No, I mean, after we destroy the Command Carrier. Assuming we’re still alive—”

“That’s a pretty big assumption.”

“Sure, but say it happens. All this work you’ve done, all this research. You could go home.”

Kevin was aware. He’d been trying not to let himself think about it ever since Kayleigh had put the wormhole knowledge in his head. “What I should do,” he said carefully, “is go back to Earth and seal up the path behind me so no one can follow. Make sure the knowledge I have in my head can’t get into the hands of anyone dangerous.”

“Mmhm,” said Neil. “And what _will_ you do?”

“I don’t know yet.” Kevin cracked his neck. “You know, wherever I do end up, you’re always going to be welcome to come with me.”

“Even on Earth?” said Neil, his expression sardonic. He opened his mouth, likely to say something sarcastic, before abruptly closing it. Something shifted in his expression. “Maybe I will. I’ll think about it. Thanks Kevin.”

Kevin stared at him, waiting for the punchline.

“You are not going to Earth,” said Andrew from beside the docking bay door.

Kevin jumped approximately ten feet in the air. “Fuck Andrew, wear a goddamn bell,” he snapped, his fright making him swear in English despite the fact that the others always made fun of him when he did. He noticed that Neil hadn’t startled at all; he’d probably already known about Andrew’s presence which explained his sudden shift in demeanour.

“Why not?” asked Neil, looking up at Andrew defiantly. “It’s not like there’s anything worthwhile keeping me here.”

Andrew’s expression was as eerily blank as it had been since he’d gotten back to Exy. He didn’t look as if he cared at all what happened to Neil, making his argument incongruous. “Last time you went to Earth you were murdered in less than a solar.”

“In a simulation,” said Neil waving a hand dismissively. “I’m sure the real Humans will love me.”

They stared at each other silently. Kevin wanted to start humming or singing to remind them that he was present, since it seemed as if they’d both completely forgotten. It was unfair: when your friends broke up because the double of one of them died and the other was grieving, you shouldn’t have to be an awkward fifth wheel to their intense, sexually charged nonverbal communication anymore. There should be a rule. Granted, he doubted this exact situation had ever happened before, but still. A rule.

“Do what you want; I don’t care,” Andrew eventually said, turning to leave. Kevin wondered why he was even there in the first place.

“That’s less convincing every time you say it,” Neil called after him. Andrew didn’t respond.

“What are you doing?” Kevin hissed. “Are you provoking him on purpose?”

“I want to see him lose control.”

“That sounds like a very stupid and dangerous idea.”

Neil smiled his carefree, charming smile that Kevin had learned always spelled trouble. “Nonsense,” he said. “All my ideas are good ideas.”

* * *

Neil was lying flat on his back in the transport pod, staring upwards. “You were right,” he conceded.

“Of course I was,” said Kevin, distractedly, from where he was gazing intently at the viewport, waiting for a wormhole to materialize. He blinked once. “Wait; when was I right?”

“It’s better to do this in a transport pod. At least we can walk around and stretch in here.” Their modifications had taken an additional three solars and they’d been out in the pod for ten straight solars after that. Kevin’s attention hadn’t yet waned but Neil was out of his mind with boredom. Still, it beat being on Exy where Andrew had cottoned on to Neil’s plan to provoke him and had subsequently gotten better at avoiding him.

“I’ve almost got it,” said Kevin, which didn’t convince Neil as Kevin had been saying that for two solars.

“I’m sure you do,” said Neil, aiming for supportive but only accomplishing sarcastic. Kevin didn’t seem to notice.

“No, I do,” said Kevin. “I think I’ve got the equation. I can hear it.”

“You can hear what?” asked Neil, sitting up.

Kevin’s only response was to close his eyes. “Five… four… three… two… one… and wormhole.”

Exactly as he predicted, a shimmery blue wormhole opened up in front of them.

“Look at that,” said Neil quietly. Wormholes never failed to make him feel a sense of awe. He stood and approached the viewscreen. “You can predict them now?” He turned to grin at Kevin.

“I told you I’d got it,” said Kevin smugly.

Neil shook his head and looked back at the wormhole. “Uh, Kevin, it might be my imagination but that thing is a lot closer than it was. I think we’re being pulled toward it.”

“That’s odd,” said Kevin, looking at his panel. “We shouldn’t be.”

“Maybe back off a little?” suggested Neil.

“But what’s—”

Kevin was cut off as the pod lurched forward into the opening of the wormhole. Neil was thrown off his feet as the pod spun.

“Hold on!” shouted Kevin. “I’ll drop an anchor.”

“A what?”

“Don’t worry; I can get us back. I just need to aim for a time after we left.” He closed his eyes, which really didn’t make Neil feel safe. “Exy…” muttered Kevin. “After… home… take us home…”

The turbulence abruptly ceased as the pod returned to normal space.

“There,” said Kevin, checking the scanners. “I knew it! Oh my God, that answers so many questions I had.”

“Kevin…” said Neil slowly, his eyes on the viewscreen.

“This is the last piece of the puzzle I needed; I think I can destroy the Command Carrier.”

“Kevin,” Neil repeated more insistently.

Kevin was off on his own wavelength. “I’m going to need a—”

“Kevin!” snapped Neil loudly.

Kevin looked up at him in annoyance. “Can’t you see I just made a breakthrough?” he asked irritably.

Neil gestured to the viewscreen, where a familiar blue and green planet was visible.

“Oops,” said Kevin dumbly, staring at Earth. “This isn’t the home I meant to return us to.”

* * *

Andrew had found an out-of-the-way spot where he could sit by a viewport and read. Neil had found the book at one of the marketplaces they’d visited: a seventeen book series on a datapad in an older file format that wasn’t compatible with anything else they had. The stories themselves were terrible— it was a series of space adventures written by someone who had clearly never travelled in space, or met an alien, or, possibly, another living person. Neil had found the books hilarious and Andrew had to admit that there was something addicting about them.

When he’d cleaned out his— their— room on the Marauder he’d left all of Neil’s possessions for the Neil that was still alive, not wanting to see them ever again. Lately he’d been wondering how the fifth book in the series ended: how the hero protagonist (who, in Andrew’s opinion, definitely needed to be punched in the face two or seventeen times) managed to save his beautiful, yet incredibly dumb and prone to being kidnapped, love interest.

Whenever Kevin and Neil were out in the transport pod he’d taken to sneaking into Neil’s quarters to borrow the datapad. He kept an eye on the pod through the viewing port so that he could replace it before they returned and so he could make himself scarce (if he also liked to keep an eye on Neil’s whereabouts, he wasn’t about to admit it).

He had cut back on his use of his drug when Neil was off the ship. He could get through a solar without it and sleep for a respectable six arns now; he was used to the dull ache in his chest and the hole inside him that had resulted from Neil’s death. He’d had a couple extremely bad nightmares after M’Att and Dan’s wedding— he was completely sure that the other Neil had accidentally life bonded with him and never mentioned it, which was just like him. Had he regretted it?

He was beginning to run low on his distillate of lakka; he needed to conserve as much of it as he could. He’d almost exhausted his resources and Knox seemed unwilling or unable to provide more. It was okay as long as Neil wasn’t around— he still couldn’t look at him without feeling something, especially since Neil was trying to provoke him. Instead, when Neil was on board he took himself into the deepest tiers of the ship. None of the crew ventured down into the grotty undertiers, trusting the DRDs to maintain them properly. Wymack had been giving Andrew tasks to complete down there. Andrew was quite certain that Wymack was doing it as a favour, letting him be alone.

He was getting to the climax of the book— no pun intended, although he was pretty sure hero protagonist was going to frell the girl— when Aaron found him. He just watched him thoughtfully for several microts, as if he was only there to observe Andrew in his natural habitat.

“What do you want?” asked Andrew, setting aside his datapad.

“I want to know if it helps,” said Aaron, “pushing him away.”

Andrew fixed his eyes on the ceiling. Aaron wasn’t the first to attempt to talk to him about how he was treating Neil, but he was the most unexpected.

“I tried to break up with Katelyn multiple times,” continued Aaron. “First because I didn’t want to admit that I loved her, then because I realized how much danger she was in because of our relationship. She never let me and I wasn’t strong enough to fight her that much. I was just wondering if it makes it any easier.”

“I thought you’d be relieved I’m no longer frelling an alien.”

“Maybe I realized that you’re much more pleasant to deal with when you’re getting laid regularly,” said Aaron, shrugging. “Or maybe I actually care about you. When we were on the Marauder I saw something I’d never seen before. I didn’t actually realize what it was until it stopped.”

There was a pause, Aaron clearly waiting for Andrew to ask. Andrew didn’t give in, hoping Aaron would go away if he ignored him.

Aaron told him anyway, “You were happy.” Andrew breathed in sharply. “You were happy with him and now you’re miserable.”

“He’s dead,” said Andrew, wishing for his distillate. He didn’t want to think about or feel the things Aaron’s words brought up. “You killed him.”

Aaron grimaced. “I did, and it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. But I’d do it again for you.”

“How sentimental,” mocked Andrew.

“You’re not going to be able to push me away, no matter how hard you try,” said Aaron disapprovingly. “You’ve achieved your goal of making yourself and Neil miserable, but I’m not going anywhere.”

Andrew didn’t answer, staring sightlessly out the viewport.

“You’re going to lose him, you know,” said Aaron brutally. “Either he’ll die or you’ll succeed at pushing him away for good. So I was just wondering if you think it will hurt less when you inevitably lose him or if you’ll regret that you wasted your time trying and failing to make yourself as emotionless as you’re pretending you are.”

“We are about to attack a Command Carrier,” Andrew deflected, needing Aaron to stop saying such things. “I need to be sharp. Entanglements cause distractions and lead to people dying.”

“You sound like a good little Peacekeeper,” said Aaron snidely. “Spouting the lies they told us to control us.”

“Don’t pretend you don’t agree.”

“I’m not sure it’s relevant. You’re already entangled.”

Andrew didn’t reply and Aaron fell silent. Andrew wondered how to make him leave when a wormhole opened up in front of the transport pod.

“He’s getting better at it, huh?” said Aaron, leaning forward to get a better view of the phenomenon. “Should they be that close?”

Andrew narrowed his eyes. “No; they don’t have a phase stabilizer.”

“Then they should probably keep their distance.”

As Aaron spoke the wormhole flared brightly enough that Andrew had to shield his eyes. When he could see again, he was looking into the void. No wormhole, no transport pod. No Neil. He felt like vomiting.

He rose unsteadily to his feet, unwilling to take his eyes off of the location he’d last seen the transport pod. Aaron was watching him with worried eyes. Andrew focused on breathing and trying not to panic. Neil and Kevin couldn’t be gone forever, could they? He felt as if he’d been stabbed; this wasn’t something he could handle.

_Will it hurt less when you inevitably lose him?_


	26. Chapter 26

Andrew stood at a console in command, his eyes gummy from lack of sleep. He was fairly certain that if he stayed awake for much longer his body would pass out to force him into unconsciousness. Even if he hadn’t been periodically dosing himself with distillate of lakka he would be numb from exhaustion.

Thea was not faring much better. Her hair was greasy and falling out of the bun she’d haphazardly twisted it into, she had dark circles under her eyes, and she was literally drooping with fatigue. The two of them had been trying to figure out where Kevin and Neil had disappeared to over thirty arns previously and whether they were still alive and capable of making their way back to Exy. Thea had all of the calculations from Kevin’s quarters spread throughout command and was trying to make heads or tails of them. Knox had been helping her but he’d tapped out a couple arns previously to get some rest.

“Anything?” asked Dan, wearily, joining the two of them.

Thea ran a hand through her hair, dislodging even more of it. She grunted in annoyance. “The wormhole they disappeared into keeps opening at irregular intervals,” she said. “I assume Kevin did something to it. I can’t figure out how to predict when it’s going to open but we’ve been sending communication buoys into it every time it does. That should let us talk to them, figure out where they are.”

Dan looked at Andrew consideringly, before addressing Thea again. “How long are you going to keep at it?”

Thea set her jaw stubbornly. “Until we find them.”

Andrew could practically see Dan’s attempt to balance sympathy and reality. “They may not—” she started delicately.

“They will,” interrupted Thea. Andrew half-admired her ability to adamantly believe in something in the absence of any proof. Her stubbornness made her and Kevin well-matched (although he imagined their fights were epic).

Dan opened her mouth, then closed it and shook her head, obviously choosing her battles. She glanced at Andrew. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

He nodded at the console next to him. “I’m running broad spectrum electromagnetic sensor sweeps. Can you take care of the narrow range scans?”

She nodded, looking relieved at having something to do. Andrew could relate; he was frustrated with his relative uselessness. If only shooting the wormhole would produce positive results. That would be something he would relish doing.

Andrew was pretty sure that he’d fallen into some kind of half-doze/trance/sleepwalking state when Wymack spoke up. That was the only explanation for how he jerked to attention when the holoclam illuminated.

“Exy is reading proto-wormhole activity,” Wymack told them. “We believe it is about to open again.”

“Great,” said Thea. “Prep a comm buoy and prepare to ping all our usual channels.”

Andrew waited, watching the viewscreen and hoping that the transport pod would emerge when the wormhole opened. He told himself he wasn’t disappointed when it didn’t.

“Hold on,” said Wymack. “I’m getting a signal.”

“Patch it through,” said Dan impatiently.

“—y? Wymack? Do you read?” came Neil’s voice. Andrew closed his eyes and exhaled in relief.

“We hear you, Neil,” said Dan.

“Miss us?” Neil’s tone was sardonic.

“Are you injured?” asked Andrew sharply.

There was a brief pause— whether because Neil was surprised to hear from Andrew or because he was about to lie, Andrew wasn’t sure. “No, we’re fine,” he said. “I’ve got good news and bad news and good news and bad news.”

“Tell them about the—” Kevin’s voice came faintly over the comms as if he was calling to Neil from a distance.

“I’ll get to it,” said Neil, cutting him off. “Okay, good news: we weren’t liquefied by our unexpected trip through the wormhole.”

“Bad news?” asked Thea.

“We’ve taken an unplanned detour and are currently orbiting Earth.”

“We’re on the moon, Neil,” corrected Kevin pedantically.

“Which is orbiting your planet,” Neil pointed out.

“Can you get back?” asked Andrew.

“Ish,” said Neil. “You may have noticed that the wormhole keeps opening up at your end?”

“Yeah, how did you do that?” asked Thea.

“Kevin dropped something he calls an anchor to stabilize it when it sucked us in,” said Neil. “That’s what saved us from the whole being liquefied rigamarole. The problem is it that the anchor isn’t reversible. There’s now a permanent connection between your location and Earth.”

“Meaning that anyone who wanders by this end of the wormhole has a direct path to Kevin’s primitive home planet?” asked Dan. “Anyone? Pirates, Peacekeepers, Scarrans?”

“Yup,” said Neil. “As you can imagine, Kevin’s not thrilled. But, good news again: he thinks he can seal it up.”

“And the bad news?” ground out Andrew.

“If he screws up his calculations we’ll either be dead or stranded here forever. Even if we succeed, it’s going to mean that he can’t make another wormhole to or from this region of space ever again. Earth will be cut off permanently.”

There was a resounding silence.

“Since the wormhole is stable, can’t we come through in another transport pod and pick you up?” asked Andrew. “Swap you with Thea who might _want_ to be stranded with Kevin?”

“No can do,” said Neil.

“Because of the—” said Kevin, sounding far away.

“I know, Kevin,” said Neil testily. “If anyone else comes through the wormhole it’ll change the resonance of the anchor and Kevin won’t be able to seal it. You have to stay there.”

“Ask them about—”

“Right,” said Neil, interrupting Kevin again. “Kevin knows how to destroy the Command Carrier, but he needs a focusing agent. He says it has to be between the size of someone’s head and a duffel bag, roughly spherical in shape but not smooth, and made of a transition metal. Can you try to find something like that?”

The description pinged something in Andrew’s memory. “Like the present I brought back for him?” he asked. The so-called wormhole generator that Neil had bought as a gag gift.

“Actually, yeah,” said Kevin.

Andrew shook his head at the events that had transpired because of that thing. It was oddly fitting that it wasn't useless after all.

“We’ve only got a couple microts before this things closes again,” said Neil urgently. “It’s going to take us some time to get everything ready. We probably won’t be able to get a message through to you again because of the moon’s position relative to the wormhole. So… I guess Kevin and I will either eventually come through the wormhole or it will disappear and we’ll never see each other again. Bye.”

There was a pregnant pause. Then they all spoke at once.

“What?” demanded Thea, visibly distraught. “Kevin?”

“Wait,” said Dan.

“Neil,” snapped Andrew.

“Connection lost,” said Wymack.

Andrew breathed in deeply and tried not to punch anything. It wasn’t Exy’s fault that he was emotionally attached to a death magnet.

“Okay,” said Dan, surveying him and Thea with a critical eye. “You two get some sleep. If Kevin really has figured out how to destroy the Command Carrier then it’s time for phase two of our plan.”

* * *

Phase two of the plan involved negotiating with Ichirou. They wanted their criminal records to be expunged and an invitation to the Command Carrier with a guarantee of safety once they were there. Jean had been helpful in coming up with tactics, since he knew Ichirou best and together with Aaron and Andrew’s knowledge of Peacekeepers a plan of attack had been formulated. Although, to Andrew’s annoyance, it didn’t involve any attacking, just negotiating. Which Seth would be doing.

Andrew was very against the Hynerian being left in charge of something this important, but he had to admit that Seth had proven himself an adept negotiator when dealing with traders and mercenaries alike. Other than being rich and spoiled it was one of the only things he had seemed to do as the Dominar of over six billion subjects.

Andrew wasn’t sure why they weren’t waiting for Neil and Kevin to return to the ship before beginning negotiations. Dan came up with some reason that was clearly full of dren: something about wanting to get this over with as soon as possible before the Peacekeepers found them. Andrew suspected it was because she wanted to keep everyone (although honestly, it was probably mostly for his benefit) busy while there was nothing they could do except sit and wait to see if Neil and Kevin lived and returned to them. He was grateful; Exy felt wrong and empty without Neil on board.

Still, flying away from Exy on the Marauder while Neil and Kevin’s lives were in limbo was difficult. It felt like abandoning his post, which Andrew had never done. Well, never except for the one large exception of that time he’d defected.

Jean and Seth were with him, which made for one of the strangest groups he’d ever been a part of. He disliked Seth with a fiery intensity and he didn’t think he’d ever spoken more than ten words to Jean. They made sure to get far away from Exy before Jean sent Ichirou a meeting request on a private, secure channel. That way, if the Peacekeepers were able to track the message back to its source they still wouldn’t know where Exy (and the current open pathway to Earth) was.

Jean’s hands were shaking by the time the message was sent. The reason he knew how to use Ichirou’s personal command channel was a stroke of luck. In his time as Ichirou’s captive he had helped pass over many subordinates that had angered Ichirou and been harshly punished.

Passing the arns waiting for a response was difficult. Andrew didn’t dare contact Exy in the meantime. He also didn’t know what to do with himself. The Marauder was full of ghosts: he saw Neil in every room. He took a hit of his distillate and stayed in command, not letting himself feel anything. Once his emotions were deadened, he tried to imagine what he would do if Neil didn’t return. He was having difficulty imagining a future without Neil close by.

Ichirou’s response came more quickly than Andrew had dared hope. He agreed to a meeting, just him and Riko, at a location of Jean’s choosing. This had already been extensively discussed among them: there was a nearby mining colony with no Peacekeeper presence or allegiance. On the outskirts of the colony was a decrepit restaurant. There was enough room for two Marauders to land and it provided a neutral space to negotiate.

Andrew ensured that they arrived well before the appointed meeting time, giving himself time to scope out the interior of the restaurant. Satisfied that it was exactly as it appeared, he settled in beside Seth to wait for the Moriyamas.

When the Peacekeepers arrived, they did it as unsubtly as they did everything. Ichirou and Riko swept in, accompanied by six commandos. Andrew didn’t twitch for his weapon as they restrained him at gunpoint, simply watching Ichirou impassively. Seth made enough of a fuss for both of them, swearing and trying to bite whoever came close to him. The remaining two commandos swept through the place, performing their own search and inventory of the building.

“The agreement was to come alone,” said Andrew blandly.

“And are you?” asked Ichirou. “Alone? No Luxans or Delvians hiding in the kitchen, waiting to ambush us? There is little trust between us.”

“We have a Bannik waiting on the ship, but only because he had no desire to see your face,” said Andrew.

Ichirou appeared vaguely amused. Andrew was glad for the distillate. Without it, he wasn’t sure he would have been able to keep his cool face-to-face with the man who had tortured Neil.

The microts ticked by as Andrew stood a gun to his head and no one came to rescue him.

“Very well, it appears you have kept your word,” said Ichirou. “Release them and return to the ship.” The commandos lowered their weapons and retreated.

“We should just kill this traitor and be done with it,” grumbled Riko, taking a seat at the same table as Seth. “And throw the Hynerian back into a cell where he belongs.”

“Hold your tongue, brother,” said Ichirou dismissively, taking his own seat. “Now,” he said, his expression greedy. “Your message said something about wormholes?”

* * *

Neil didn’t really have much to do. Mostly he handed Kevin whatever he asked for and watched him work. Kevin kept pausing in his work to gaze distractedly and longingly out the viewport at the planet they orbited.

“Kevin,” Neil eventually said. He knew he had to offer. “We can stay.” Kevin’s gaze snapped to his. “If you want, we can stay.”

Kevin scoffed. “No we can’t.”

“I’m offering.”

“I know that taking a trip can be helpful after a break up but stranding yourself on a planet where you might be killed seems a little extreme.”

“Kevin…”

“No we _can’t_ ,” Kevin said sharply. “I didn’t expect this martyr routine from you.”

“Really?” asked Neil incredulously. “One of the first things I did after I met you was let a mind cleansed Peacekeeper shoot at me so you could regain control of Exy.”

“That’s true…”

“And then during the first episode of Neil and Kevin: Intrepid Adventurers—”

“I still can’t believe M’Att calls us that.”

“—when you got us trapped by a _soul vampire_ —”

“You’re _still_ annoyed about that? It happened almost a cycle ago!”

“—I antagonized a Peacekeeper Captain and got his unwanted attention—”

“I’m pretty sure you just like antagonizing people.”

“—to stop you from bursting into tears.”

“I wasn’t going to _cry_ ,” said Kevin, affronted.

“And _then_ , I willingly infiltrated a Peacekeeper base and got captured.”

“I still feel bad that I left you behind.”

“Don’t be. You cured Andrew. That’s all that matters.”

“Yet you’re willing to never see him again.”

Neil swallowed and looked away. “Maybe it’s for the best if I keep my martyrish ways away from him. He did tell me it wasn’t wanted.”

“To be fair he probably meant he didn’t want you to martyr yourself, not that he didn’t want you.”

“Still…” said Neil, knowing he _wasn’t_ who Andrew wanted. “What I’m saying is that we can stay here. It’s not fair of me to ask you to give up your home for good just so I can get back to mine.”

Kevin watched him for several beats. “Exy is my home,” he said. He gestured at the viewport. “Earth is my home planet and will always take up a place in my heart, but I’m not sure I belong there anymore.” He roughly scrubbed a hand through his hair. “I mean, how could I possibly go back to regular life? After everything I’ve seen? And I’d be completely alone; no one could ever understand what I’ve been through.” He sighed. “I’ll never be the person my mother expects me to be again. It’s probably kinder to stay away and let her grieve who I was. I love my mother and Earth. But I love Thea and Exy and all of you, too. No matter where I go, my heart will always be split in two.”

“We could find another way,” Neil suggested hesitantly, “so you’re not cut off from Earth forever.” His own heart hurt. _It’s probably kinder to stay away and let her grieve_.

Kevin shook his head emphatically. “I’ve made enemies; I’d never forgive myself if one of them took out their anger at me on Earth, especially if they accessed it through I door I opened.” He smiled ruefully. “Besides, you know that Earth isn’t ready yet to deal with all of this. They probably won’t be for centuries.”

Neil digested Kevin’s words. He could tell his mind was made up. “Well, then, you should probably say goodbye,” he said. He hated goodbyes; there was a reason he’d dumped the possibility of him and Kevin never making it back and then immediately hung up on Thea, Dan, and Andrew. But he also knew how precious the opportunity to talk to a lost loved one was. How many times had he wished he could speak to his mother again, just once?

“What do you mean?” asked Kevin, his brow furrowed in confusion.

“Communications satellites,” said Neil, pointing at the many satellites that orbited Earth. They were exceedingly primitive but functional. “I can easily hack one using the transport pod’s comms array.”

“You could… let me make a phone call?” said Kevin slowly, looking overwhelmed.

“Yeah,” said Neil. “Easily. Is there anyone down there you want to talk to, one last time?”

* * *

“To recap,” said Ichirou to Seth, “you wish for full pardons for yourself, Danala Wilds, Boyd M’Att, Allisonushkola Jamika Reynolds, Pa’u Natalie Rebirth, Nicholas Hemmick, Katelyn Renaez and Aaron and Andrew Minyard.”

“That is correct.”

“In addition, you want us to give up our claims to our former prisoners, the Bannik Jean and the Nebari Neil.”

“Yes.”

“In return, the human Kevin Day will come aboard my Command Carrier—”

“With a small group of companions,” interjected Seth.

Ichirou paused almost imperceptibly, “—with a small group of companions,” he continued smoothly, “in order to share with us all his knowledge of wormholes. Is this correct?”

“Yes.”

“Kevin was very adamant that he had no such wormhole knowledge.”

“He lies,” said Riko sulkily.

“His studies on our travels have made him a veritable expert,” said Seth. “He is capable of creating and travelling through wormholes with no ill effect.”

“He has also been purposefully avoiding us,” said Ichirou. “What has brought about this change of heart?”

Seth looked at him levelly. “We recently found evidence that the Scarrans have made advances in their own wormhole research,” he said. Riko hissed angrily. “We dealt with them but we can’t stand against them alone. Peacekeepers are the only possible military force that can hold them off. And the enemy of our enemy is our natural ally.”

“Hmmm,” said Ichirou thoughtfully. “Let us return to that shortly. I wish to discuss the small group of companions that will accompany Kevin. As you know, aliens are not welcome on Peacekeeper warships.”

“We will agree to send only Sebaceans or aliens that are visually indistinguishable from Sebaceans to minimize disruptions,” said Seth soothingly.

“And the Nebari,” prompted Ichirou.

“No,” said Andrew immediately, speaking up for the first time since the negotiations had begun.

Ichirou looked at him with something like amusement. “I am making it a condition of our deal. The Nebari comes and tells me all he knows about his people.”

“No,” said Andrew again, more adamantly. He wasn’t letting Ichirou get his hands on Neil again.

Seth frowned at him for speaking. “He will tell you how the Nebari secure their borders and nothing more.”

Andrew shot him a sharp look; he wasn’t going to let Seth sell Neil out to these Peacekeepers.

“He offered,” said Seth. Which was just like Neil, offering himself up to protect the others. Andrew should have expected it by now.

“I need more than that,” said Ichirou, his eyes flitting between Seth and Andrew.

“You did once torture him,” said Seth idly. “Getting anything from him is more than you should expect.”

Ichirou watched him for several beats. “Border security, then. And he’s the only visibly non-Sebacean allowed to accompany Day. No Luxans or Illanics or Delvians or… _whatever_ Hemmick is.”

“Deal,” said Seth. “Now, there is the manner in which you plan to guarantee our people’s safety while aboard your ship.”

“We have thoughts on that,” said Ichirou, gesturing to Riko.

Riko, with an angry look on his face, pulled out a case and opened it. Inside it were two thick banded silver bracelets with flashing yellow buttons along the outside of them.

“What are those?” asked Seth.

“These are I-yensch bracelets,” said Ichirou smoothly. “Perhaps a demonstration.” He slid his reptilian gaze over to his brother. “Well? Put on the bracelet, brother.”

Riko grimaced but he couldn’t ignore an order from a superior officer. Looking as if he tasted something sour, he pressed a sequence into the yellow buttons and one of the bracelets snapped open. He closed it around his wrist.

Ichirou passed the second bracelet across the table. “If you will,” he said to Andrew.

Andrew raised an eyebrow and didn’t move.

“You do not trust me?” asked Ichirou.

“Why would I?” replied Andrew.

“I assure you, I mean you no harm at this moment. If I wanted you dead you would already be dead.”

Andrew considered and then snapped the bracelet on his wrist.

Ichirou’s eyes were placid but there was something like triumph when he looked over to his brother. “Riko,” he said, “allow the Dominar to hit you.”

“What?” hissed Riko.

“Do not make me repeat myself.”

Riko visibly tamped down on his temper and leaned close to Seth. “Do your worst,” he grit out.

Seth eyed him suspiciously. “I have no desire to hit him.”

“You would be the first,” said Ichirou. “It is required for the demonstration.”

“In that case…” said Seth, grabbing the dish in front of him and swinging it into Riko’s face.

It hit was an audible crack. Andrew could feel the line of impact across his own face where the dish connected with Riko. He reached up to cover his face in pain.

“Synchronized nerve impulses,” said Ichirou. “Sharing each other’s pain.”

“And if one dies?” asked Seth.

“The other does, too. This is how we guarantee your safety. Kevin wears one such bracelet, and Riko wears the other. Any attack on one is an attack on the other.”

“Take it off,” said Andrew, extending his arm.

Riko glanced at Ichirou before entering the code that opened the cuff.

“That is an intriguing solution,” said Seth, stroking his chin. “But I do not believe you’ll hesitate to kill your brother once Day gives you the information you desire. This will only be acceptable if you are the one wearing the bracelet.”

Ichirou faltered. “I will not shackle myself.”

“Then there will be no deal,” said Seth. “If you want the wormhole knowledge then you must risk something; the only way this will work is if your life’s on the line. We trust that you and your crew will be careful with that.”

Andrew could practically see the calculations that were going through Ichirou’s mind. He was gauging how much he wanted wormholes and trying to decide if they might sacrifice Kevin to kill him.

“Very well,” he said reluctantly.

“And we must be the ones who set the arming sequence,” said Seth, “so there’s no way you can take it off yourself.”

Ichirou growled in annoyance, then nodded to the bracelet Andrew had worn. “Take that one with you and configure the arming sequence. We will swap bracelets when your party arrives. Which will be…?”

“Some time not long from now,” said Seth. “We’ll send you a message on the same channel we used to organize this meeting.”

“As you say,” said Ichirou, standing. “I believe all is in order. I await your communication.” He turned to leave before pausing and turning back. “A word of caution. If you attempt a double cross in any way, none of you will survive. And your Leviathan can expect swift retribution. Peacekeepers are not to be trifled with.”

Seth leaned forward, his face grave. “Neither are we.”

* * *

Kevin put on an EVA suit and left the transport pod. He needed to be alone for this. They were in the Sea of Tranquility, not far from the Apollo 11 landing site. He could see the American flag in the distance, unmoving without atmosphere. This had been his goal as a child: to walk on the moon. And now he’d done it, and so much more. Still, even after all he’d seen being here sent a thrill through his system.

He took a deep breath and touched his communicator. “Okay, Neil,” he said. “Connect me.”

He waited as the phone rang. It was early evening where she was. She should be home.

“Hello?” came the light, lilting voice of his mother and he almost burst into tears.

“Mom,” he choked out. He couldn’t believe it was really her, that she was really talking to him. He’d seen the alien Kayleigh not that long ago and heard her voice, but this was the genuine article. His nightmares about his mother lying dead in a pool of her own blood could be laid to rest.

There was a heavy silence and when she spoke again her tone was pure frost. “I don’t know who you are but if this is your idea of a joke—”

“No, Mom, no. It’s me. It’s Kevin.”

“My son,” said his mother sharply, “is dead. When I find you—”

“Mom, I promise it’s me. I’m not dead. Remember my tenth birthday? You called to say you couldn’t make it back home because you were training. But then you took the red-eye and woke me up at dawn—”

“It wasn’t dawn, it was eight in the morning you giant drama queen,” said his mother automatically. She gasped as soon as she said it.

“And we went to the Smithsonian,” said Kevin, picking up the story. “Most people would assume we went to the Air and Space museum but instead we went to—”

“The Museum of Natural History,” said his mother in a whisper. “Kevin?” she asked, her voice wobbly. “Where are you?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” he laughed wetly.

“Kevin,” she said, and he recognized her _don’t bullshit me_ tone. “Where have you _been_?”

“I was shot through a wormhole to some distant part of the universe,” he said. “I don’t know exactly where; none of the stars or stellar coordinates are familiar.”

“But you’re back?” The hope was unmistakable.

“Mom, listen,” he said, “I don’t have much time.”

“You’ll make time.”

“I wish I could,” he said truthfully. “I wish I could see you again one last time.”

“Kevin, this is sounding distinctly like a goodbye and so help me—”

“I can’t come home, Mom,” he said, ripping off the bandaid.

“Oh,” she said, the word sounding punched out of her.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t know the way home,” he said, lying to spare her feelings. “I found a way to communicate with you just this once but I don’t think I’ll be able to replicate it.”

“This is all I get?” she asked softly.

“I wanted you— no, I _needed_ you to know that I’m okay,” he said, his eyes filling with tears. “I made friends; you’d like them. They have my back and keep me safe. And I’m in love. Her name’s Thea.”

“It shouldn’t surprise me that you feel more comfortable around aliens then you did on Earth.” His mother was clearly trying for joviality.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come back to you like I promised,” he said. “I wish I could.”

“I miss you,” whispered his mother.

“I miss you, too,” he replied. “I wish… I wish I could share all the wonders I’ve seen.”

His mother breathed in shakily. “I’m glad you’re alive. Now that I know you’re out there somewhere… everytime I look at the stars I’ll think of you.”

“I love you,” said Kevin. “You’ve always been my hero.”

“Just as you’re mine.”

“I have to go soon, Mom.”

“Please don’t,” said his mother crying openly.

“I’m sorry. I have to. I love you.”

“Kevin—”

“Goodbye.”

“...Goodbye, my love.”

He cut his comm and wept.

* * *

Kevin’s face was grim and drawn when he returned to the transport pod.

“Ready to go?” asked Neil, trying to tread carefully. He’d been thinking while Kevin was talking to his mother, planning what he was going to do once the Peacekeeper threat was removed. He’d reached a decision, one that made him tremble but that he had to go through with for Andrew’s sake.

“No,” said Kevin dully, “but it’s time to go anyway.”

He climbed into the pilot’s chair and lifted the pod off the moon’s surface.

“Explain it to me again,” said Neil, mostly to distract Kevin from his thoughts.

Kevin sighed, put upon. “A wormhole is a disturbance in spacetime, as you know.”

“It’s been mentioned a time or two.”

Kevin appeared thoroughly unimpressed. “Immediately before a wormhole opens there’s a pressure bubble. It starts tiny and expands outwards before it pops and the wormhole appears.”

“And you can see this?” asked Neil.

“Not really see... “ said Kevin thoughtfully. “It’s more like I can kind of… smell it.”

“Right,” said Neil. “You’re sounding super scientific, by the way.”

“I knew you’d need it dumbed down,” said Kevin, manoeuvring the pod into position. “Anyway, if I time this right I’ll hit the bubble at its maximum radius, piercing it before the wormhole can open. Then, as we travel back toward Exy, the wormhole will collapse behind us, sealing itself up forever. Earth will be safe.”

“Are you sure this will work?”

“No,” said Kevin. “But I’m not seeing any better options.”

“Well, then, let’s do it, Commander.”

Kevin looked at him seriously and nodded once sharply. “Hold on,” he said. “This will probably be a bumpy ride.”

* * *

Kevin and Neil were safely back on board when Andrew returned in the Marauder; he’d missed all the stress and uncertainty of their return. His desire to track Neil down and run his hands over him to ensure his well being had him reaching for his distillate of lakka. He couldn’t afford weakness now as they prepared to head to the Command Carrier. He couldn’t let Neil be the focus of his attention while they were on board; he needed to be alert and ready.

“Hey,” said Neil, wandering up behind him while Andrew inhaled the distillate. “I need to talk to you.”

He hastily stuffed the vial in his tac vest pocket and turned, wondering how Neil had gotten so close without him noticing.

Neil’s eyes narrowed slightly and Andrew was momentarily convinced that he had noticed what Andrew was doing. He relaxed after a beat and didn’t comment, taking a couple steps closer.

“I hear that Ichirou’s expecting me,” he said.

“You don’t have to go,” Andrew assured him.

“Yes, I do,” said Neil, resting his hands on Andrew’s chest casually. It was intimate and familiar, like Neil had never been doubled or died and the past sixth of a cycle hadn’t happened.

Andrew warred with himself whether to push him off or pull him closer. It had been so long since Neil had touched him like this that he revelled in the feeling. Neil gave him a considering look and backed off.

“What’s this?” he asked once out of arm’s reach, the vial of Andrew’s drug in his hands.

Andrew silently cursed himself. He’d let himself become distracted by wanting Neil _again_ and momentarily forgotten his intelligence and quick fingers. He didn’t answer.

Neil moved to open the vial.

“Don’t,” said Andrew roughly, not wanting Neil to inhale it and become blank and emotionless like he was mind cleansed. “It’s distillate of lakka.”

“Which is…?”

“It helps me not to feel. To forget.”

“To forget,” Neil repeated slowly. “To forget me?”

“You are a distraction,” said Andrew, looking away. “It hurts to see you.”

He heard Neil breath in sharply. “ _This_ is why you’re been an emotionless robot lately?”

“I need to be sharp and prepared,” replied Andrew. “Especially on the Command Carrier. Your influence is unwanted.”

“Right,” said Neil, sounding dumbfounded. “Well, you don’t have to worry about it for long. I made a decision; that's what I wanted to tell you. After we’re finished with the Moriyamas, assuming we’re still alive, I’m leaving. I can’t stay here, not like this. It’s as you said: this was never meant to last forever.”

Andrew’s eyes snapped to him, but Neil was no longer watching him.

“There’s no reason for me to stay here now that no one’s after me,” continued Neil, “and I’m better off alone.” He turned to smile at Andrew; the sharp, cruel smile that Andrew hadn’t seen on his face for almost a cycle. The same smile that had graced Neil’s father’s face as he told Hatford he was too late. _Too late, too weak, too distracted, too slow_. Andrew suppressed a shudder.

“So as soon as we’re finished with this, I’m gone,” said Neil. “And you can go back to being a blank Peacekeeper drone without me to _distract_ you.” He tossed the vial back to Andrew. “To _help_ ,” he said sardonically and left.

Andrew felt like he was looking into a dark tunnel. He should have been relieved that Neil was leaving, that he wouldn’t be around to make Andrew feel unwanted feelings. He had no agreement with Neil anymore, no reason to care if he lived or died. This should have been what he wanted.

Instead he felt as if he had just lost everything all over again.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains references to rape/non-con, violence, and murder.

Neil wasn’t looking at Andrew. Which made sense. Kevin was on the verge of having a panic attack after what Renee had just told him. Everyone’s attention was on him; most of Andrew’s attention was on him, but he couldn’t silence the tiny corner of his mind that whispered that Neil wasn’t looking at him. That Neil _hadn’t_ looked at him or tried to antagonize him or acknowledged his presence at all since he’d found out about the distillate of lakka and told Andrew he was leaving.

Andrew had been trying to ignore this Neil’s presence ever since they’d been reunited but he found he didn’t like the reverse. He shook his head and tried to focus. He didn’t understand how Neil could be _more_ of a distraction now that he wasn’t trying to be.

“Breathe,” said Thea to Kevin. “In for four, out for seven.” She glared at Renee. “A bomb is a little extreme, isn’t it?”

“It’s an absolute last resort,” said Renee. “Plan Z, if you will.”

“So that if they find a way to double cross you and kill you, you can still take them with you,” explained Dan.

“By exploding myself?” said Kevin shrilly.

“It’s attached to a dead man’s switch,” said Allison with a shrug. “If it goes off, you’ll already be dead. You won’t feel a thing.”

“Comforting,” said Kevin acidly. “And what happens when we arrive and the Peacekeepers find it? Do you think they’ll just let me keep it?”

“It’s not like they’d risk you detonating it,” said Dan. “Besides, their scans shouldn’t detect it.”

Andrew raised a suspicious eyebrow. “Why not?”

Renee gave him a level look. “I was a very good anarchist.”

“I thought you evolved past that,” said Kevin. “Suddenly you think it’s a good idea to go to someone’s home wired to explode?”

“Isn’t that why you’re going there in the first place?” asked Renee. “To destroy their ship and kill the Moriyamas? This is just insurance that your plan will succeed, even if the worst happens.”

“We’re not going to force you to wear it,” said M’Att. “We just thought you’d appreciate a backup.”

“It’s completely up to you,” added Dan.

Kevin visibly struggled before slumping in defeat. “Fine,” he sighed. “Strap a nuclear bomb to me. Should go nicely with my pain-sharing bracelet.”

“Hey, this whole thing was _your_ idea,” Allison pointed out. “You’re the one who told us to work out the logistics.”

“Believe me, I’m regretting it,” sighed Kevin.

* * *

“Last chance to back out,” said Andrew, piloting the transport pod toward the waiting Command Carrier.

“Last chance to back out was over four arns ago,” muttered Aaron, sounding annoyed.

They weren’t in the Marauder; not only would the Peacekeepers never let a potentially hostile weaponized ship so close, but Katelyn didn’t want to surrender it to them. Instead, Exy had dropped them off within a solar’s distance to the rendezvous point and starburst away to hide in a nebula until everything was completed one way or another. Wymack reported that she had been very frightened about the proximity of the Peacekeepers, worried that they’d put her in a control collar again.

The six of them— Neil and Andrew, Kevin and Thea, Aaron and Katelyn— had been travelling in the cramped pod together for over sixteen arns. Neil would give anything to disembark, even step foot on a Peacekeeper Command Carrier.

“No,” said Kevin, his face serious. “This is happening.”

Andrew looked like he didn’t care one way or another as he piloted the transport pod into a landing bay. Neil hadn’t seen him take a hit of his emotion-suppressing drug, but he assumed he had been taking it regularly. He hardened his heart and forced himself not to dwell on it. Andrew could do whatever he liked; they weren’t anything to each other.

There was a phalanx of officers waiting for them in neatly ordered rows, as if they were visiting dignitaries. Ichirou stood at their head, beside his brother.

“Welcome,” he said, his voice carrying. “I grant Kevin Day and his companions full diplomatic rights, immunities, and courtesies while aboard this vessel. The bracelet?”

Katelyn walked forward with their I-yensch bracelet to attach it to Ichirou’s outstretched arm while a Peacekeeper soldier came to encase Kevin’s wrist in the other. Kevin shuddered as it snapped closed.

Andrew put his arm in front of Kevin to stop his forward movement and then punched him in the face.

Ichirou recoiled as Kevin grunted in pain. The surrounding Peacekeepers all reached for their weapons.

Andrew raised his hands and stepped back. “Just checking,” he said.

Ichirou narrowed his eyes but kept his tone civil. “You are guests here.” His eyes passed over them; pausing briefly as they examined Kevin and then held Neil’s return gaze for several microts. Neil suppressed a shiver. He shouldn’t be here. He should already be far away from this nonsense. It was his stupid sentimentality that kept him by Kevin’s side, that didn’t want to let him or Andrew on a Command Carrier without anyone watching their backs. But this was it. After this he was done. He would leave, no matter how much it felt like being torn in two.

“Please join me for refreshments in the officers’ lounge,” said Ichirou.

“I want to get to work,” said Kevin stiffly. “Take me to my workstation.” His fingers twitched nervously and Neil could tell that he was antsy, which always made him extra bossy.

Riko tensed in anger at Kevin’s blunt demand but Ichirou conceded. “Very well,” he nodded. “I will take you there. Riko, take the others to the lounge.”

“I’ll go with Kevin,” said Thea, stepping up beside him, her tone brooking no argument.

At this, Ichirou raised an eyebrow but led Kevin and Thea from the room.

Riko glared at the rest of them, making his feelings about them very obvious. “Follow me,” he said curtly.

Their entrance into the lounge stopped all ongoing conversations as everyone turned to stare at them. Neil felt the familiar need to run and hide but did what he always did and put on an easy smile instead. He was the first to move into the room, leaving the others behind and performing a quick circuit of the room. There was a small group of people playing cards and pretending not to notice him.

He swung a chair around and straddled it. “Deal me in,” he said.

“We don’t play with _aliens_ ,” said a Peacekeeper woman snottily.

“Why not?” asked Neil. “I’ve got credits.” He caught the eye of the man sitting across from him. “Maybe something… more.” He bit his bottom lip and the man’s gaze grew hungry. Easy prey.

He played a couple hands of cards, giving his opponents time to become overconfident before he started cheating. Playing honestly was hardly diverting and he found himself surreptitiously watching the others as they made their way into the lounge.

Katelyn and Aaron grabbed drinks and a corner table, keeping away from the hostile looks of the Peacekeepers. Andrew was brazenly walking among them, even as others occasionally hissed the word ‘traitor’ in his direction. He looked bored, uninterested, but Neil could tell he was alert and watching for threats. A couple Peacekeepers greeted him slightly more personably— this was where Andrew had served, it made sense that the officers would know him.

Neil absently played a card and watched as a soldier with a Prowler crest on his uniform greeted Andrew with a lazy smile. He was handsome in a typically-Sebacean way. He made a subtle gesture, one that Neil had received a couple times from Andrew when they were in company. Neil’s breath caught, not wanting to think about why that man knew Andrew’s _let’s get out of here_ signal that was basically an invitation for sex.

He waited for Andrew to blow the man off— he’d told the others that they should stay together while on the Command Carrier— but instead he drained his drink and followed him out of the lounge.

Neil swallowed heavily and turned back to the game. He grinned at the man across from him, even though he felt as if his heart was breaking. Which was stupid. He knew Andrew didn’t want him; of course he’d take advantage of being among Sebaceans to recreate with someone he was attracted to. He didn’t know why he couldn’t get it through his head that Andrew was finished with him. It strengthened his resolve to leave as soon as they left here.

Neil took a deep breath. “What do you say we make this interesting?” he proposed.

* * *

Kevin felt like vomiting. He kept smoothing his shirt to make sure that the vest underneath went unnoticed. So far it seemed that Renee was right: he’d had to pass through several security scanners as he was brought into more sensitive areas of the ship and none had picked up his ‘Plan Z’. Still it made him feel anxious and self-conscious. Thea had already twice smacked his hands away from fiddling with his clothing.

“First things first,” he said, trying to sound confident and in charge, “the pardons.”

“I will of course issue the pardons once we have—” started Ichirou.

“You will issue them now,” said Kevin stridently, and then hid a wince. He was certain that not many people spoke to Ichirou like that and remained alive for long.

Ichirou inspected him like he was a bug he was going to crush.

“I’m here, at your mercy,” said Kevin. “The ball is completely in your court and as a show of good faith, I require you to issue the pardons before I can begin sharing my knowledge.” Not only did Kevin not remotely trust Ichirou, if everything went to plan he wouldn’t be able to issue the pardons after Kevin was finished with his wormhole demonstration.

Ichirou paused slightly, before nodding. He gestured to one of the subordinates that seemed to trail him everywhere who handed over a Peacekeeper data chip. "Your pardons," he said, holding it out.

Kevin took it and plugged it into the nearest communication console, sending the information to a location where Exy _wasn’t_ but the Marauder was ready to make a hasty retreat. If the Peacekeepers tracked the communication, they’d find nothing but empty space.

“Dan,” he asked. “Did you get it?”

“Got it,” she replied, sounding emotional. “We’re all officially free. Now hurry up and do what you’ve got to do to come home safe.”

“See you soon,” he said, and closed down the comms channel.

“Has it occurred to you that the occupants of your Leviathan already have what they want?” asked Ichirou. “There’s no guarantee that they’ll still be waiting for you.”

“Have you never experienced loyalty?” asked Kevin.

“Peacekeepers are known for their loyalty.”

“If you had, you wouldn’t have suggested they’d abandon us.” Kevin had no doubt in his mind. He trusted his family. “They’ll be there. Now,” he said brusquely, changing the subject, “show me all the data you have on wormholes. I have to know how much to dumb down my lessons.”

* * *

Andrew followed Lieutenant Roland into his quarters. The other man whirled once the door closed and reached for him; Andrew caught his wrist and squeezed tightly before he could make contact.

“Right,” said Roland with a chuckle. “I’d almost forgotten about your control streak.” He clasped his hands behind his back and waited.

Andrew surveyed him critically. He could remember desiring this man and enjoying their recreation together. He should feel something other than disinterest and disgust, shouldn’t he? He should want to kiss him, to touch him. The thought shouldn’t make him feel like something cool and slimy had crawled down his throat.

“Get me a drink,” he commanded, stalking to take a seat on the single chair in the sparse room.

Roland shook his head. “I thought you’d be gagging for it; it’s been over a cycle and a half since you were among Sebaceans.” He paused and gave Andrew a sly look. “Unless you were getting some from an alien?”

Andrew didn’t respond.

“Ha!” crowed Roland, mixing the drink Andrew had demanded. “Which one, I wonder.”

Andrew remained silent, taking the proffered drink and sipping it slowly.

“I would have said it was the one all this fuss was about— he’s the one you ran away for, isn’t he?— but you left him alone with Ichirou so you can’t care about him _that_ much.”

Andrew scoffed at the idea of being with Kevin.

“Was it the Luxan? I’ve always been curious about them.”

Andrew choked on his drink.

“Not him then,” laughed Roland. He took a seat on his bed and examined Andrew thoughtfully. “I know! It was the tralk you followed into the lounge, wasn’t it?”

Andrew tried to keep his face still, but he knew his slight reaction to the insult to Neil gave him away.

“I don’t blame you,” Roland continued. “Rumour says he’s a Nebari. I’ve always wanted to give it to a Nebari, prudish drelks that they are. Bend one over and make him pay for what they did to the Terrapin. I’d really like to see if yours cries prettily.”

“If you put one finger on any part of him I will cut off your hand,” said Andrew matter-of-factly.

Roland smirked. “Knew it,” he said smugly. He sipped his own drink and leaned back. “So are you back?” he asked.

“Back?” echoed Andrew, not understanding the question. Clearly he was back on board.

“Yeah, I heard that you were getting a pardon for deserting. Are you coming back to Prowler detail?”

Andrew stared at him. “No,” he said. The thought had never even crossed his mind.

“You could.”

“I couldn’t. I don’t want to return to this life.” He turned his glass slowly in his hand. “I’m more now.”

Roland’s face flashed with hurt. “You think you’re better than us?”

“Yes,” said Andrew simply.

“Why’d you even leave the lounge with me if you’re not interested?”

“Curiosity.”

“I’ll bet it’s because that Nebari you’re hung up on won’t give you any,” said Roland. “I know the type. His eyes make promises he won’t keep.”

“Watch yourself.”

“It’s not me you have to worry about. There were at least three in the lounge who wanted him.”

“He won’t agree,” said Andrew with certainty.

“Oh, Andrew,” said Roland meanly. “Who said they were going to ask?”

Andrew was up out of the room almost before Roland had finished speaking. He needed to get to Neil; it had been stupid to leave him, but he’d needed to make sure.

He sped through the corridors, the route familiar from when he’d lived on board. It felt a million cycles ago, as if it had happened to another Andrew in another life. When he’d first joined Exy he’d been homesick for this kind of ship, but now it felt cramped, crowded, and sterile.

Bursting into the lounge, he scanned the room for Neil’s familiar form. His breath caught when he didn’t see him but then he heard the sharp staccato of his false laugh. He was sitting at a card table, raking in a pile of credits from disgruntled-looking officers.

Neil looked up at Andrew’s entrance, the smile falling from his face. He half-stood in alarm, his eyes darting around for what had upset Andrew. Andrew shook his head sharply once and motioned Neil over to him.

“Sorry fellas,” said Neil. “That’s my cue.” He started collecting his winnings despite arguments from his opponents who were apparently naive enough to believe that they could win their money back if given enough time.

“What’s wrong?” Neil asked, coming to Andrew’s side. “Is it Kevin? Did something happen?”

Andrew could only stare at him mutely in relief. “Not here,” he finally said, grasping Neil’s wrist and pulling him from the lounge. Neil immediately shook himself free from Andrew's touch but followed after him.

Andrew ducked into a generator room in the next corridor, knowing that Peacekeeper surveillance was at a minimum inside as the reactors interfered with audio.

“Well?” asked Neil once they’d arrived and Andrew hadn’t done anything more than pace. He still felt agitated from Roland’s words. Alone, they wouldn’t have bothered him as soon as he saw Neil safe and sound but with the knowledge that Neil was planning on leaving he couldn’t handle them. Neil would be alone, with no one to watch his back. No one to pull him out of the idiotic situations he got himself into. He would probably go back to using his body to get what he wanted and people would take advantage. Andrew couldn’t let that stand. Neil was his: to protect, to hold, to have.

“Those officers wanted you,” he said, once he could put together a sentence.

Neil’s expression went hostile. “So? Maybe I was going to let one of them have me.”

“You wouldn’t,” protested Andrew, feeling ill.

Neil gestured with his hand, sharp and angry. “What’s it to you? You have no say in what I do. Besides, you went off with someone else the first chance you got.” He was trying to cover his hurt with anger.

“It’s not like that,” said Andrew. “I couldn’t.”

“Well, I’m sorry you can’t get it up,” said Neil sarcastically. “Maybe your lakka has something to do with that? Perhaps it deadened your dick along with your emotions.”

“I haven’t taken any since you found it,” Andrew admitted.

Neil was visibly taken aback. “What? Why not? I thought you _needed_ it to remain focused and emotionless.”

“I can’t explain it,” said Andrew truthfully. He had no idea why he hadn’t been able to stomach taking the distillate after his argument with Neil. It would have been easier, lessening the feeling of dread and despair he got every time he remembered Neil’s promise to leave.

Neil shrugged helplessly. “I thought without it you couldn’t even look at me.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“You have made it perfectly clear that you don’t want anything to do with me.”

“Of course I—” Andrew sighed, not sure how or if he could explain this properly. “It was perfect,” he tried. “On the Marauder. It was perfect. Me and Neil, we were… and then I lost him. And you’re so like him; frell, you _are_ him.”

“I’m not,” Neil argued. “I’m me.”

“I know.”

“I’m sorry you had to lose the one of us you wanted.”

“That’s not—” Andrew snapped. He took a deep breath and continued more calmly. “I don’t know why you think I would prefer it if you had been the one who died.” He imagined it, coming back to Exy with the other Neil to find this one dead and gone. He probably would have taken out his rage and grief at the others, attacking Kevin for letting it happen. But would he have felt less guilty? Was not being there better than being there and not being able to change anything? “I love— loved him,” he explained, stumbling over the verb tense.

Neil looked away.

“That doesn’t mean I don’t love you, too.” Neil’s eyes snapped back to his, wide and surprised. It was both terrifying and exhilarating to finally admit it out loud. The other Neil had died without knowing the truth about how Andrew felt about him and Andrew wasn't about to repeat that mistake.

“And I can’t… I cannot watch you die again,” said Andrew roughly. “I will not survive it.”

Neil made a hurt sound in the back of his throat. “What do you want me to say, Andrew?” he demanded, sounding exhausted. “You want me to lie and tell you I’ll live forever?”

“I want you to promise you won’t leave me.” Andrew felt raw, exposed. He had just handed Neil a way to destroy him, to pay him back for all the pain he’d caused this Neil since the other had died.

Neil fisted a hand in his own hair and yanked while he paced several steps back and forth. Andrew wanted to reach out to him but he didn’t have the right; he was the one who’d caused the pain.

“Then why’d you go off with that Prowler pilot?” Neil asked, defeated.

“It was a… test,” said Andrew carefully. “I used to recreate with him. I wanted to see if I had become softer in my time on Exy, if desire and affection are now inextricably linked for me, or if you’re unique.”

Neil stopped pacing and stalked over to where Andrew was standing. He used his slight height advantage to stare down at him. “And?” he asked, exhaling forcefully through his nose so that his nostrils flared.

“And I didn’t even desire him anymore. You’ve gotten so far under my skin that I’ll never get rid of you.”

“Good,” said Neil and kissed him.

The kiss was definitely a fight. Andrew forced himself to cede control, allowing Neil to dominate with teeth and tongue and fingers wound through his hair. It felt right and familiar and settled something in Andrew’s chest that had come loose the second the other Neil hadn’t recognized him. This Neil wasn’t the same but he was also Andrew’s and pushing him away had been stupid.

“We can’t do this now,” said Neil, pulling back. “This is definitely not the time or place.”

“You’re right,” said Andrew. “We should get back to the lounge.”

Neil nodded once and composed himself before heading out of the generator room.

“Neil,” said Andrew. He waited until Neil looked back at him before speaking nervously, “Are you going to stay?”

Neil sighed gustily. “Once we’ve finished here… we’ll see. I won’t be a replacement.”

Andrew opened his mouth to argue but he knew better than to press Neil right now. When they got back to Exy he would find out what Neil needed to agree to stay and give it to him, whatever he wanted. He wasn’t going to lose him again.

* * *

“...and if everything is correct…” said Kevin, typing equations. He finished and spun around to face Ichirou and Riko with a flourish. “...you get a wormhole.”

Ichirou’s eyes flicked over Kevin’s work, widening in awe and comprehension. Riko just looked bored. And kind of like he was wishing he could wring Kevin’s neck. Kevin felt warring emotions of satisfaction, for a job well done, and dread, because the Moriyamas had been further along in their research than he’d expected. He’d arrived just in time to stop them from gaining the knowledge necessary to open one. Granted, he was anyone they sent for a test fly would end up liquified, but still. They were too close for comfort.

The equations he’d provided them weren’t correct but they were close enough that Ichirou would find the error if given enough time. Kevin couldn’t let that happen. He expected to feel nervous when he got to this point, but all he felt was certain. His anxiety had stopped plaguing him the longer he’d been on the Command Carrier. If this was the last thing he ever did then he would have done something necessary and important with his life. His mind whirred with the different possible ways that Peacekeepers or Scarrans could ruin the galaxy with wormhole knowledge. Stopping them was a noble goal.

“Would you like a practical demonstration?” he asked, his voice completely steady. He’d sent Thea away not too long ago, to let the others know it was almost time and to make sure she was in place to leave the ship when the time came. Escape was not an option for him.

“A practical…?” said Ichirou, his attention still diverted to the screen where the equations were displayed.

“I’ll make a wormhole,” said Kevin blithely, turning on several likely very expensive pieces of equipment.

“ _Where_ will you make a wormhole?” asked Riko distrustfully.

“Not here, don’t worry,” said Kevin. “I can set everything up here, but the type of wormhole I’m making won’t emerge without a proper catalyst.”

“What kind of catalyst?” asked Ichirou.

Kevin hummed and didn’t answer, pretending to be absorbed in his work. It wasn’t a difficult acting assignment. Instead, he set up everything he needed, explaining as he went, and waited for his cue from the others.

“Sir,” said a Peacekeeper Lieutenant, bustling into the room.

“I explicitly instructed no interruptions,” said Ichirou.

“But, sir, a radiological alert has gone off in the main hanger bay,” said the Lieutenant.

“Evacuate the bay,” said Ichirou instantly. “What caused it?”

“The evacuation is already underway. We’re… unsure as to the cause,” said the Lieutenant uncomfortably.

“Then get sure and report back,” snapped Riko, “and stop bothering us with your incompetence.”

“This catalyst I told you about,” said Kevin, making a couple last minute alterations, “it’s a non-perfect solid metal sphere, about this big.” He demonstrated with his hands.

“We don’t have time for this right now,” said Riko. “Didn’t you hear about the radiological alert?”

“In the main hanger bay,” said Ichirou, unsurprisingly getting there faster than Riko. “Where your transport pod is.”

“Don’t worry,” said Kevin, “it’s a false alarm; we needed to force the evacuation. Katelyn is very talented. The catalyst, however, _is_ on board the transport pod.” He switched on the final instrument. A loud hum started up. His bones felt like they were vibrating out of his body and his teeth itched. Lights on the instruments started blinking wildly.

“What have you done?” demanded Riko. “Shut it off!”

Kevin watched him impassively, feeling at peace. It was done now; there was no going back.

Riko put a pulse pistol against Kevin’s forehead. “Shut it off!”

Ichirou grabbed Riko’s arm and jerked him away, displaying his superior strength. “Do not forget, brother, that his life and mine are linked.”

The instruments had reached a fever pitch now, coming to a crescendo and then shutting off completely. Sudden silence filled the room as the lights flickered.

Ichirou’s eyes flashed with anger. “What did you do?” he asked into the silence.

The ship suddenly lurched and alarms started going off.

“I made you a wormhole,” said Kevin. “As per our agreement.” He shrugged one shoulder. “I just happened to make it in your hanger bay. In such a confined space, all that energy has to go _somewhere_.”

“A contained energy burst of that size…” said Ichirou, face twisting in a grimace.

“Your ship is imploding,” said Kevin. “Better abandon it so you don’t lose everyone.”

Ichirou snarled but opened a shipwide communication, ordering everyone to abandon ship. Kevin took a seat and threw his feet up on a table nonchalantly. He could hear distant explosions as the hull started to collapse.

“Let’s go,” snarled Riko. “The nearest escape pod is just through this hatch.”

“I don’t think so,” said Kevin. He looked at Ichirou. “You could leave without me, but, well…” He held up the I-yensch bracelet. “I don’t think you’d last very long.”

“Knock him out and take him with us,” Ichirou commanded his brother.

Riko took a step toward him. Kevin tsked. “I wouldn’t do that, if I were you,” he said, unzipping his shirt. “I’m wearing a bomb, you see. It’ll go off if I fall unconscious.”

The room was rocking more violently now, the explosions getting closer. The end was near now.

“I think you’re bluffing,” said Riko. “I’ll take my chances.” He raised his pistol again.

“Brother,” said Ichirou warningly.

“I’ll be happy to be rid of you, too,” snarled Riko. Kevin closed his eyes and hoped it didn’t hurt. A pulse blast sounded.

Riko shrieked in pain, clasping his bleeding hand. Suddenly Neil and Andrew were flanking Kevin, their guns raised.

“Nice shot,” said Andrew approvingly, before blasting Riko in the head. It burst open like an overripe melon, painting his brain matter onto the bulkhead behind him.

“Thanks,” said Neil, practically preening. “Miss us?” he asked Kevin.

“What are you doing here?” demanded Kevin, panicked. “You’re supposed to be _safely off the ship_.”

“And leave you here?” asked Neil incredulously.

“Not a chance,” said Andrew. He turned his pulse rifle on Ichirou.

“Your rescue makes no sense if you shoot me now,” said Ichirou. “You kill me, he dies.”

“There’s something you _really_ should know about me since you spent all that time digging through my head,” said Neil. He took Kevin’s wrist in both of his and fiddled with the I-yensch bracelet. It came off in his hands in mere microts. “I am _very_ good at escaping restraints.”

Ichirou’s composure finally seemed to be at an end; he advanced on the three of them, snarling. Andrew unloaded about seventeen pulse blasts into his chest, dropping him to the floor.

“Overkill,” snorted Neil.

“Enough kill,” corrected Andrew. “Come on. The others went to secure an escape pod.” He led the way out of the room.

“You came for me,” said Kevin, dazedly tripping after Andrew as Neil steered him forward.

“Did you really think we wouldn’t?” asked Neil.

“I thought everyone knew I wouldn’t survive this,” said Kevin. Everything felt surreal; he had been sure he was about to die.

“Since when have we given up on one of our family?” asked Neil.

“Renee strapped a bomb to me!”

“Not a real one,” said Neil, sounding almost conciliatory. “We needed a way to stall them from just knocking you out and taking you off the ship. Did you _really_ think that none of their security scans would pick up a _bomb_?”

“Then why didn’t you tell me it was fake!”

“You’re not great at lying,” said Neil, pushing Kevin around the final corner. Thea was waiting outside an airlock. Her face relaxed into relief as soon as she saw Kevin.

“Get in,” she said, gesturing, and Kevin was bundled into the escape pod.

Katelyn and Aaron were already inside and once the other three joined them, the pod blasted away from the Command Carrier.

Kevin watched in horrified fascination as the Carrier collapsed in on itself. They’d only made it out with minutes to spare.

“Most of the transport pods seem to be away,” said Aaron.

“Good,” said Katelyn. “They can wait for Command to rescue them. The nearest moon is life-sustaining, I checked.”

“And us?” asked Kevin.

“Send Wymack a message that we’re ready for pickup,” said Andrew. He hadn’t taken his eyes off Neil since they’d gotten in the escape pod. “It’s time to go home.”


	28. Chapter 28

“And make sure that Wymack is doing okay,” instructed Dan. “Sometimes he gets lonely and it’s not super noticeable, so go down and talk to him once in awhile.”

“I’ve been on board for as long as you have,” said Kevin irritably.

“Not true. I was on this ship for two cycles as a prisoner.”

“I’ve been here practically the entire time you’ve been free,” corrected Kevin. “I know Wymack just as well as you do.”

“But you’re a self-centred—”

“Okay! No need to insult him,” interrupted M’Att. “I’m sure that Exy will be fine without us.”

Dan slumped. “I know she will. I just worry.”

“I know you do,” said M’Att soothingly, rubbing her shoulders. “Everything will be okay.”

Dan turned on Kevin. “My ship better be in tip top shape when I get back.”

“When you what now?” asked Kevin, genuinely confused. After the Command Carrier’s destruction there had been a lot of talk on board Exy about what to do next. As they were all free and no longer being pursued, Dan, M’Att, Seth, and Allison had all elected to go home. Renee, Knox, and Jean were going with Allison, while Nicky, Erik, Aaron, and Katelyn were headed to the Breakaway colonies to settle down. Exy had brought them all to the edge of Peacekeeper space— she refused to enter territory where she could be caught and collared— to a transit hub where the others could find transport back to their home planets.

“When I get back,” said Dan slowly. “In about a quarter cycle?”

“You’re coming back?” asked Kevin, floored.

Dan gave him a look, one he was very familiar with. It meant _you’re so stupid, human_. It used to rankle him but now it felt familiar. He imagined being teased by an older sister felt similar. “This is our home,” she said forcefully. “ _Of course_ we’re coming back. We’re going for a visit but we don’t belong there anymore.”

Kevin abruptly felt weepy. He’d been repressing how much the coming exodus bothered him. Sure, Thea was staying— and he thought Andrew and Neil were as well, not that they'd made any indication one way or another— but he didn’t like everyone else leaving him.

“The others, too?” he asked, not daring to hope. “I know Nicky and Aaron aren’t, but Renee? Knox?”

“Everyone but Seth,” said Dan.

Kevin hugged her tightly. “That’s the best news I’ve heard all day.” She pinched his side in censure. “All solar,” he corrected himself. “Ouch. I’m not going to miss you.”

“Liar,” said Dan fondly.

Kevin let her go and straightened, only to be enveloped in a hug by M’Att. “I can’t believe you thought we were leaving you forever.”

“I can’t believe I’m going to miss _Allison_ ,” said Kevin.

* * *

Andrew stood in the maintenance bay, feelings mixed. The Marauder was all packed up and ready to go. Nicky and Erik wanted to settle down in a rural area on one of the planets of the Breakaway colonies. Aaron and Katelyn were also looking for a place to live: they wanted to have kids and the living situation on Exy was rarely safe. He was happy for them, but was surprised to realize that he'd miss having the four of them on Exy.  


Unbeknownst to all of them (save Aaron, of course), Katelyn had visited the reproductive doctor while they were on board the Command Carrier. She had one of her fertilized eggs released from stasis, inciting a pregnancy. Andrew couldn’t fathom that he would have a little nephew or niece soon.

“Come visit whenever you’re nearby,” said Nicky, standing not far off, wringing his hands. As far as Andrew knew he’d already said his goodbyes to everyone else. “And now that you’re not fugitives you can legally access the main communication network. You’d better keep in touch.”

“I’m sure someone will keep in touch,” said Andrew.

Nicky rolled his eyes but smiled softly. “I’m glad you’re my cousin,” he said. “And I’m happy that you’re happier now.”

Andrew looked down, not acknowledging his comments. “Stay safe,” he said instead.

Nicky nodded and retreated onto the ship, letting Katelyn step forward to offer her own farewell.

“Officer Minyard,” she said archly.

“Tech Renaez,” he replied. “I’m trusting you to look after my family.” He said it nonchalantly but he trusted her to know the weight of what he was offering her.

“I’m up for the challenge,” she replied. “You take care of yourself and make sure that Nebari of yours stays alive, you hear me? My children are going to want to meet their uncles.”

Andrew swallowed heavily and nodded as she moved away. Then Aaron was the only one left.

“I guess I should thank you,” said Aaron uncomfortably. “I’m only here because of you.”

“You don’t owe me anything,” said Andrew. “You never did.”

“All my life I was looking for my family when it was right in front of me.”

“To be fair, I would have rebuffed any sentimentality when I was a Peacekeeper. It still makes me itchy.”

“Then let’s all be glad you left them.” He clapped Andrew on the shoulder. “Did you ever imagine that we’d end up here?” he asked, looking around the maintenance bay. “Can you believe this is our life?”

“Not for a microt.”

Aaron shook his head in wonder and retreated into the Marauder. Andrew watched as the docking bay doors closed behind it. He stood silently, musings about family running through his mind for several moments before he turned and headed to Neil’s quarters.

Neil was frantically packing when he got there, unsuccessfully trying to shove all of his possessions into a single duffel bag. Andrew’s heart sank. Neil had been skittish and standoffish since they'd returned from the Command Carrier. He'd never given Andrew an answer about staying, although this spoke for itself.

“Going somewhere?” asked Andrew, keeping his tone light.

“No,” said Neil, throwing his favourite shirt onto his bed with a huff. “Did you know I can’t fit all of my belongings into a single bag anymore? My mother’s screaming at me from the afterlife.”

“Why are you packing?” Andrew was trying his best to understand Neil’s reasoning, which was currently eluding him.

Neil shrugged expansively. “I don’t know. Everyone else was packing; it felt wrong not to join in. I’m usually the one doing the leaving, not the one being left.”

“Most of them are coming back after their vacations.”

“I know; it’s still odd.”

“We could go, too, if you want.”

Neil looked up at him. “What do you mean?”

“A vacation?” suggested Andrew, although the very concept was foreign to him.

"Together?"  


"Obviously."  


Neil seemed confused by the concept. “You’d come with me if I left?”

“Of course I would,” said Andrew. “If I let you go off alone I don’t trust the universe would give you back.”

Neil turned away from him. “I’m only a replacement. I know I’m not who you really want.”

Andrew took two sure steps across the room; he wasn’t about to let that nonsense stand for more than a microt. He wrapped his arms securely around Neil’s waist and plastered himself to his back. Hooking his chin over Neil’s shoulder, he said, “I’m not confused. I know exactly who you are. You came to rescue me when I was captured by Proust and you flew my Prowler almost as well as I can. You recognized right away that something was wrong when Proust’s chip took control of me. You stayed on Exy to protect Kevin when I couldn’t. You punched a Scarran because you’re a born troublemaker. You almost got fried by radiation protecting everyone like the martyr you are. You gave me space while I was grieving and didn’t push when I couldn’t handle it. You’d—” Andrew’s voice cracked; he kissed the hinge of Neil’s jaw and tightened his hold on him “—you decided to leave the first home you’ve ever had because you thought it would make things easier for me. You’re Neil. You’re mine. How can you possibly think you’re not who I want?”

Neil breathed in shakily. “Ask me,” he said in an undertone.

Andrew kissed his neck. “Stay with me?” he asked hopefully, his lips against Neil’s skin.

Neil turned in his hold. “Always,” he promised, leaning in to give Andrew a searing kiss.

* * *

“Where to?” asked Thea. She was with Kevin in command; Andrew and Neil had joined the two of them, hand in hand. Kevin was glad they’d seemingly worked things out.

“We have a quarter cycle to kill,” said Neil. “Maybe we could all pick somewhere we want to visit?”

“I know almost nothing about this region of space, except for where I’ve already been,” said Thea. That was one of the things that Kevin liked about her: she was just as clueless about their surroundings as he was. Although, given that she was more technologically advanced, the others never treated _her_ like she was a half-wit.

“Me, neither,” said Kevin.

“There’s a historical battle memorial not far from here,” said Andrew, sounding like he didn’t care at all, but he wouldn’t have mentioned it if it meant nothing to him.

“Oooh, history!” said Kevin in excitement. “Yeah, let’s go there!”

“Well, _I_ heard a rumour that there’s a nearby colony living on a budong corpse. We should check that out,” said Neil.

“There’s no way that’s true,” said Andrew.

“What’s a budong?” asked Thea. Kevin was happy that he didn’t have to be the one to ask.

“It’s a giant space creature,” said Neil, miming giant jaws with his hands. “Much bigger than a Leviathan. In fact, they _eat_ immature Leviathans.”

“So obviously no one killed one,” said Andrew.

“No, no, I think it died of natural causes and some intrepid adventurers found it. And now they live on it!” said Neil enthusiastically. “Come on, doesn’t that sound awesome?”

Kevin put his hand over his heart, feeling misty-eyed. “I love it when you speak human.”

Andrew’s eyes went soft as Neil grinned brightly. “Alright, let’s go see your budong.”

“Then we can go to your boring history museum,” offered Neil magnanimously.

“Wymack?” asked Kevin.

“I heard,” said Wymack. “Prepare for immediate starburst.”

Kevin braced himself, at home next to his best friends and the woman he loved, ready for their next adventure.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my god, you guys, I can't believe this is finished. I spent so much of this year writing and posting this and I can't thank all of you enough for sticking with it and giving me comments and kudos. Those of you who commented on every chapter or nearly every chapter are the heroes of fandom and I'm forever grateful for you. 
> 
> I can be found on tumblr [@gluupor](http://gluupor.tumblr.com).


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